# The PTA Disbands

The Simpsons, season 6, episode 21 (S06E21), first aired April 16, 1995.
Written by Jennifer Crittenden. Directed by Swinton O. Scott III. Production code 2F19.
Guest stars: Marcia Wallace as Mrs. Krabappel.
Chalkboard gag: "I do not have power of attorney over first graders". Couch gag: M.C. Escher.

After a disastrous field trip to Fort Springfield, Bart goads Edna Krabappel into calling a teachers' strike against Principal Skinner's penny-pinching and then keeps the two sides feuding. When townspeople fill in as substitutes, Marge ends up teaching Bart's class, so he traps Skinner and Mrs. Krabappel together until they reach a deal.

Who's in it: Bart Simpson, Homer Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson, Maggie Simpson, Moe Szyslak, Milhouse Van Houten, Grampa Simpson, Principal Skinner, Ned Flanders, Chief Wiggum, Mrs. Krabappel, Dr. Hibbert, Nelson Muntz, Otto Mann, Jasper Beardsley, Martin Prince, Ralph Wiggum, Groundskeeper Willie, Santa's Little Helper, Lewis Clark, Wendell Borton, Richard, Jimbo Jones, Miss Hoover, Todd Flanders, Maude Flanders, Snowball II, Rod Flanders, Kearney Zzyzwicz, Sherri Mackleberry, Terri Mackleberry, Kirk Van Houten, Nina Skalka, Janey Powell, Luann Van Houten, Adrian Belew, Professor Frink, Bernice Hibbert, Becky Shorter, Dolph Starbeam, Sophie Jensen, Snake, Girl with glasses, Long-haired girl, Ruth Powers, Jaffee Ziswhisky, Buck-toothed boy, Gareth Prince, Dewey Largo, Superintendent Chalmers, Buck-toothed girl, Sarah Wiggum, Lewis' lookalike, Gloria Prince, Boy with shades, Chuck Berger, Lunchlady Dora, Black Weasel, Yellow Weasel, Wanda, Smug Girl, White-Haired Girl, Allison Taylor, Freddy, Violet Bazaar, Kyle Williams, Üter Zörker, Mr. Hippie, Tanya, "Blow the Horn" Kid, African-American Teacher, Leopold, Ms. Phipps, Nell Nicholson, Boy with freckles, Ms. Barr, 10 Year Old Voiced Man, Arcade Bouncer, Banker, Carol Jones, Chess Observer, Chess Player 1, Chess Player 2, Chess Player 3, Diz-Nee Clerk, Diz-Nee Tour Guide 1, Diz-Nee Tour Guide 2, Fred, Kindergarten student, Milhouse's Tutor, Principal Valiant, Prisoner 2F21, Reenactor 1, Reenactor 2, Reenactor 3, Reenactor 4, Reenactor 5, Reenactor 6, Reenactor 7, Reenactor 8, Unnamed parent.

Every line said in the episode, and when. Its moments aren't described yet. The dialogue is from the episode's subtitles.

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## Every line

- 0:00 The
- 0:02 Simpsons
- 0:40 This bus has seen better days.
- 0:43 Well, at least it's safer than the old bus.
- 0:51 Uh-oh, time to move. The hole's getting bigger.
- 1:00 Seymour, the children are playing in the hall again.
- 1:02 Shouldn't you get that fixed? Edna, you know they just cut the school's budget.
- 1:06 Besides, if I had the money, I'd fix the exhaust leak in the back.
- 1:09 Frankly, I think it's causing some of our low test scores.
- 1:18 All right, the battlefield is just a half mile ahead.
- 1:21 Begin braking procedure.
- 1:29 This Civil War cannon has been fully restored and is in ready-to-fire condition.
- 1:34 But it's a good thing we're not firing it,
- 1:37 because it happens to be aimed at the main support leg of that lookout tower.
- 1:42 People don't realize that these cannons are very sensitive,
- 1:46 and the slightest jolt could set them off.
- 1:52 Of course, for safety reasons, we don't keep the cannon loaded.
- 1:56 It's just common sense.
- 2:00 Otto, why don't you get some more gas?
- 2:03 Here's the credit card.
- 2:06 And the mint for afterwards.
- 2:08 Five dollars a child?
- 2:10 Last year it was free.
- 2:11 No ownership.
- 2:17 But we don't have that kind of money. In fact, no school could afford to...
- 2:30 Here's the admission plus, uh, some for you.
- 2:33 See that they get a little extra education, would you?
- 2:35 Yes, sir, Principal Valiant. He thinks he's so hot ever since he swept the Princey Awards.
- 2:41 Those things are rigged.
- 2:43 On May 21, 1864,
- 2:46 The men of the 9th Bearded Infantry were sunning and fluffing their beards in the sun.
- 2:52 Suddenly, enemy troops crested that hill over there.
- 2:56 Fort Springfield, we surrender unconditionally!
- 2:59 We're sick! We need leeches and hacksaws to saw off our gangrenest limbs!
- 3:05 But the Springfield Brigade was too brave to accept the surrender.
- 3:09 Come on, boys!
- 3:10 Those white flags are no match for our muskets!
- 3:13 Charge!
- 3:14 And the Springfielders heroically slaughtered their enemies as they prayed for mercy.
- 3:24 It's hard to see what's going on. I can only make out the fat soldiers.
- 3:28 All right, children, switch.
- 3:32 Hey, they're trying to learn for free!
- 3:35 Get them! Use your phony guns as clubs! Run, children!
- 3:41 Start the bus, Otto!
- 3:42 Start the bus!
- 3:45 Damn!
- 3:46 I shouldn't have eaten the man first.
- 3:49 Okay, hop on!
- 3:52 Wait!
- 4:04 Well, Seymour, because of your penny-pinching,
- 4:06 We're coming back from a field trip with the fewest children yet.
- 4:09 God bless the man who invented permission slips.
- 4:14 Uh, I think I got your lunch.
- 4:19 Oh, yeah, I didn't think this was for me.
- 4:24 Seymour, the teachers are fed up. You have to start putting money back into the school.
- 4:28 You cut back on everything.
- 4:30 Salaries, supplies, the food.
- 4:33 I don't care what you say, I can taste the newspaper.
- 4:36 Posh. Shredded newspapers had much-needed roughage and essential inks.
- 4:40 Besides, you didn't notice the old gym mats.
- 4:42 There's very little meat in these gym mats.
- 4:46 Our demands are very reasonable.
- 4:48 By ignoring them, you're selling out these children's futures.
- 4:51 Oh, come on, Edna. We both know these children have no future.
- 4:58 Prove me wrong, kids.
- 5:00 Prove me wrong.
- 5:05 I've never seen them fight like that, Bart.
- 5:07 I'm worried that all this posturing and saber-rattling could lead to a teacher strike.
- 5:10 Strike?
- 5:12 Ow!
- 5:14 My bones are so brittle.
- 5:16 But I always drink plenty of...
- 5:18 Malk?
- 5:20 How do you expect us to teach with these supplies?
- 5:23 Well, this pointer's so old it's worn down to a nub.
- 5:27 It still points, doesn't it?
- 5:29 Stop that!
- 5:30 And look at this.
- 5:31 The only books we have are ones that were banned by other schools.
- 5:36 Well, the kids have to learn about tech wars sooner or later.
- 5:40 Go away, Bart. This is not a good time. I saw you two fighting.
- 5:44 I'm worried there could be a strike and the school would shut down.
- 5:48 I'm sure you'd really hate that.
- 5:50 There's not going to be a strike, Bart.
- 5:52 Yeah.
- 5:54 Skinner said you wouldn't have the wontons to go through with it.
- 5:56 Skinner said that? Well, I had to clean it up a little.
- 5:59 But basically, Krababa said you'd give the teachers everything they want She did?
- 6:04 Yeah,
- 6:05 she said you'd fold faster than Superman on laundry day We'll see about that Simpson,
- 6:10 I always thought you were sneaky and manipulative But now I see you're really a very
- 6:16 sensitive little boy Thank you, sir
- 6:19 Aw Seymour, you're being totally unfair and the teachers won't stand for it Teachers,
- 6:25 you don't have the guts to strike You don't have the guts to take us all on.
- 6:35 That's it! Ste-rike!
- 6:40 Attention, this is an emergency broadcast.
- 6:44 All is well in the school.
- 6:46 My authority as principal is total.
- 6:49 Attention, teachers!
- 6:52 We're on strike!
- 6:57 Strike?
- 6:58 Miss Hoover, are you on... Go home, children.
- 7:03 Hello?
- 7:05 Mrs.
- 7:07 Pommelhorst?
- 7:10 I'd like to get down now.
- 7:17 Hey, now that Largo's gone, we can play the forbidden music.
- 7:27 I heard that.
- 7:39 Bart, Lisa, what are you two doing home so early?
- 7:42 Great news, Mom!
- 7:43 Horrible news, Mom!
- 7:45 The school's on strike!
- 7:47 Maybe forever.
- 7:48 Overload. Pleasure overload.
- 7:52 Luckily, I've prepared for this, so I'm not too worried.
- 7:59 Sit up straight.
- 8:01 Eyes forward.
- 8:02 No talking.
- 8:03 Is that gum?
- 8:05 Is that gum? Oh, yeah.
- 8:10 Bart, leave that crowbar here. You know I don't like you prying and jimmying.
- 8:14 Mom! Dad! Great news! The teachers are on...
- 8:17 We heard.
- 8:18 And we already hired a tutor.
- 8:20 Well, looks like we'll be staying late today to make up for all this dilly-dallying.
- 8:24 No.
- 8:37 Awesome.
- 8:40 You with the crane!
- 8:41 Spin around real fast!
- 8:47 Now you!
- 8:49 Dump three tons of sand onto that port-a-potty!
- 8:55 Hey!
- 8:57 Can't you tell my voice from a ten-year-old kid's?
- 9:00 Ooh, like a rumba.
- 9:18 Hey, that little boy is playing three games at once.
- 9:21 Check me. Check me. Check me. Dang.
- 9:23 Grr, grr, grr, grr.
- 9:25 Lousy teachers trying to palm off our kids on us.
- 9:28 But, Dad, by striking,
- 9:29 they're trying to effect a change in management so that they can be happier and more
- 9:32 productive.
- 9:33 Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't strike.
- 9:37 You just go in every day and do it really half-assed.
- 9:41 That's the American way. I've got some textbooks,
- 9:44 but without state-approved syllabi and standardized testing,
- 9:47 my education can only go so far.
- 9:49 Honey, maybe you should relax a little.
- 9:52 Relax?
- 9:53 I can't relax. nor can I yield, relent, or...
- 9:57 Only two synonyms.
- 9:59 Oh, my God!
- 10:01 I'm losing my perspicacity!
- 10:05 Well, it's always in the last place you look.
- 10:13 So, if we were in school this week, what do you think we'd be learning?
- 10:16 Get away from me.
- 10:18 Good news, people!
- 10:21 I'm happy to announce that another union has joined us in a sympathy strike.
- 10:24 The Piano Tuners Local 412!
- 10:32 Now for operations, strike may go longer.
- 10:36 You know, I heard Skinner say the teachers will crack any minute.
- 10:44 Skinner said the teachers will crack any minute.
- 10:46 Purple Monkey Dishwasher. Well, we'll show him.
- 10:49 Especially for that Purple Monkey Dishwasher remark.
- 10:55 Seymour, you are truly incompetent. Well, I hardly think it's fair to...
- 10:59 Dummy up, you!
- 11:01 Listen to those passing motorists who support the teachers.
- 11:09 Fifteen-minute recess, Milhouse.
- 11:11 The recess assignment is chapters three through seven.
- 11:13 Yay!
- 11:14 Recess!
- 11:17 Milhouse, I found a hive of killer bees.
- 11:19 You want to go throw rocks at it? Sorry, Bart.
- 11:21 I'm deeply immersed in the Teapot Dome scandal.
- 11:24 Huh? However, it might be feasible in a fortnight.
- 11:28 What?
- 11:28 I can play in two weeks.
- 11:30 Ja?
- 11:34 I just can't believe Star could stoop to that.
- 11:38 Right in the middle of Montana and Dakota's wedding.
- 11:44 All this free time, I never thought I'd get sick of Razor Fight 2, the slashing.
- 11:49 I probably should stop.
- 11:51 My doctor says I have the wrists of an 80-year-old.
- 11:58 What do you mean the bank is out of money?
- 12:01 Insolvent? You only have enough cash for the next three customers.
- 12:04 Hey, what's this?
- 12:09 Just a second here. No, no.
- 12:12 I don't have your money here.
- 12:14 It's in Bill's house and Fred's house. Hey,
- 12:18 what the hell you're doing with my money in your house, Fred?
- 12:28 Grade me.
- 12:29 Look at me.
- 12:30 Evaluate and rank me. Oh, I'm good, good, good, and oh, so smart.
- 12:35 Grade me!
- 12:44 I'm worried about the kids, homie.
- 12:47 Lisa's becoming very obsessive. This morning,
- 12:51 I caught her trying to dissect her own raincoat.
- 12:54 I know. And this perpetual motion machine she made today is a joke.
- 12:59 It just keeps going faster and faster.
- 13:01 And Bart isn't doing very well either.
- 13:04 He needs boundaries and structures.
- 13:07 There's something about flying a kite at night that's so unwholesome.
- 13:11 Hello, Mother dear.
- 13:13 Oh, that's it. We have to get them back to school.
- 13:17 I'm with you, Marge.
- 13:18 Lisa, get in here.
- 13:21 In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics.
- 13:27 All right, I'd like to call this meeting of the PTA to ordidly order,
- 13:31 and let's see if we can't put an end to this strike fuss, huh?
- 13:34 Mrs.
- 13:34 Cabapo, why don't you begin?
- 13:36 Boo!
- 13:38 Oh, boo yourself.
- 13:39 Our demands are simple.
- 13:41 A small cost of living increase and some better equipment and supplies for your children.
- 13:46 Oh, that's what he's left. Give it to him!
- 13:49 Yeah, in the dream world, we have a very tight budget to do what she's asking.
- 13:52 We'd have to raise taxes.
- 13:54 Raise! Raise too high as they are now.
- 13:57 Taxes.
- 13:59 It's your children's future.
- 14:01 Children, yes. Children are important.
- 14:04 It'll cost you. Get a taxi!
- 14:08 Come on!
- 14:10 All right, that's a good point.
- 14:12 Get a taxi!
- 14:16 The finger thing means the taxes.
- 14:19 Well, I guess this is a case where we'll have to agree to disagree.
- 14:23 I don't agree to that.
- 14:24 Neither do I.
- 14:26 This is a deli of a pickle.
- 14:28 Oh, my God. The PTA has disbanded!
- 14:33 No, no, the PTA has not disbanded.
- 14:39 We do have an emergency plan in case of a prolonged strike right here.
- 14:44 Let's see.
- 14:46 Replace teachers with super-intelligent cyborgs.
- 14:50 Or, if cyborgs aren't invented yet, use people from the neighborhood.
- 14:56 Talking on a turn, that's a paddling. Looking out the window
- 15:02 That's a paddling Staring at my sandals That's a paddling
- 15:08 Paddling the school canoe
- 15:10 Oh, you better believe that's a paddling Hmm
- 15:16 All right,
- 15:17 so the compression and expansion of the longitudinal waves Caused the erratic oscillation,
- 15:23 you can see it there Of the neighboring particles
- 15:27 Guess what is it? What? What is it? Can I play with it?
- 15:30 No, you can't play with it. You won't enjoy it on as many levels as I do.
- 15:34 I love the colors, children.
- 15:38 Okay, when I call your name, uh, you say present, or here.
- 15:43 Or, no, say present.
- 15:45 Anita Bath.
- 15:48 Yeah, all right, settle down. Anita Bath here.
- 15:52 All right, fine, fine.
- 15:54 Uh, Maya Butt-Reach.
- 16:00 What are you laughing at? What?
- 16:03 Oh, I get it. I get it.
- 16:06 It's my big ears, isn't it, kids?
- 16:09 Isn't it?
- 16:10 Well, children, I can't help that.
- 16:19 Wow, Bart. I'm impressed the way you knocked off all those substitutes.
- 16:24 In my weaker moments, I almost pity them.
- 16:26 Then I just remind myself They're trying to teach
- 16:30 Well, children,
- 16:31 I don't know what you did to all those substitutes But it's going to stop now
- 16:36 Leopold All right, you listen up,
- 16:39 you little freaks The fun stops here You're gonna shut your stinking traps and behave,
- 16:45 damn it This is one substitute you're not gonna screw with
- 16:50 Marge Simpson
- 16:53 Hello, class Hey, Bart. Over here, sweetie.
- 16:57 It's me, Mom.
- 16:58 Hi.
- 16:59 Hey.
- 17:00 Hello.
- 17:04 Well,
- 17:08 I'm sure some of you already know me.
- 17:10 I'm Bart Simpson's mother.
- 17:15 Mom?
- 17:17 Hey, Bart. What about the booby trap?
- 17:24 May I? Thank you.
- 17:30 I meant the other booby trap.
- 17:36 Kids have been doing that one since my day.
- 17:41 So, how is everybody's day at school?
- 17:44 Horrifying. Pointless.
- 17:46 Exhausting.
- 17:47 It took the children 40 minutes to locate Canada on the map.
- 17:50 Marge, anyone can miss Canada.
- 17:52 All tucked away down there. Well, my teacher's a nightmare.
- 17:55 Three kids got sick from inhaling his ointment fumes,
- 17:57 he confiscated everything made of tin,
- 17:59 and then he sent us home early because he got his beard caught in the pencil sharpener.
- 18:06 Oh, um, oh, okay, um, um, here.
- 18:12 Oh, uh, okay, um, let's see, um, what if I did this?
- 18:20 You're on your own.
- 18:24 There's no way I'll get into an Ivy League school now.
- 18:27 At this rate, I probably won't even get into Vassar.
- 18:30 I've had just about enough of your Vassar passing, young lady.
- 18:34 Look, Mom, it feels really weird having you on my turf.
- 18:37 How would you feel if I started mopping the floor?
- 18:39 I'd be thrilled. You can start right now.
- 18:42 And I'm going to keep teaching your class.
- 18:44 Like it or lump it? Well, then, I guess I'll just have to get into the crawl space again.
- 18:51 I hate it when he gets in there.
- 19:01 Psst!
- 19:02 Over here!
- 19:05 Mom, I need a dollar.
- 19:07 Ever since I started teaching here, kids have been taking my lunch money.
- 19:10 And I need that money for candy.
- 19:12 Aw, here you go, precious.
- 19:14 Now go off with your friends.
- 19:17 Here you go, precious.
- 19:22 Why isn't my mom stopping this? We've created a diversion.
- 19:28 That's a very nice jig, Kearney.
- 19:30 Now isn't dancing much more fun than bullying?
- 19:33 Yeah.
- 19:36 That's it. I can't take this anymore, Milhouse.
- 19:39 I gotta get the real teachers back.
- 19:41 Bart, you'll never get Krabobble and Skinner together again.
- 19:45 They're like two positively charged ions.
- 19:50 Wait, that's it.
- 19:51 With your book smarts and my ability to exploit people with book smarts,
- 19:56 we can figure out a clever plan and get them back together.
- 19:59 A surprise party for me in Principal Skinner's office?
- 20:02 Well, I don't know, but all right.
- 20:05 Me?
- 20:06 Go to my office?
- 20:07 It's highly irregular, but all right.
- 20:11 And you're not coming out until you reach an agreement.
- 20:14 Let it out, Bart.
- 20:15 Come on.
- 20:16 Stop it, Bart. Let it out right now.
- 20:19 Don't worry, they'll start negotiating.
- 20:23 For the love of God, let us know that we're down.
- 20:30 Come on, where you are so sorry.
- 20:39 You're going to be very, very sorry.
- 20:43 Well, Seymour, I guess we could start talking.
- 20:47 What's the point?
- 20:48 There's no more money unless you've got some magic new source of revenue.
- 20:52 Well, we've got to figure something out.
- 20:54 They've got us locked in here like prisoners.
- 20:56 Prisoners in our own school.
- 21:06 This was a great way to make extra money,
- 21:08 renting out our cloakrooms to the overcrowded prison system.
- 21:11 Yo, I used to sit right over there.
- 21:17 It's all right, children. Just ignore the murderer.
- 21:20 And as a bonus, some of our more troublesome students might be scared straight.
- 21:26 Psst, kid.
- 21:28 Help me break out of here. I'll totally make it worth your while.
- 21:32 I'm listening.
- 21:49 Thank you.
- 22:24 Shh.