# Marge Simpson in: Screaming Yellow Honkers

The Simpsons, season 10, episode 15 (S10E15), first aired February 21, 1999.
Written by David M. Stern. Directed by Mark Kirkland. Production code AABF10.
Guest stars: Marcia Wallace as Mrs. Krabappel.
Chalkboard gag: "Grammar is not a time of waste". Couch gag: Rollercoaster.

Homer buys a Canyonero SUV, then discovers he has picked the version designed for women and hands it over to Marge. Behind the wheel, the once-cautious Marge develops road rage that lands her in traffic school and eventually costs her her license. When rhinos break out of the Springfield Zoo, the police call on Marge and her Canyonero to herd them, and she ends up rescuing Homer.

Who's in it: Bart Simpson, Homer Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson, Maggie Simpson, Moe Szyslak, Principal Skinner, Ned Flanders, Barney Gumble, Chief Wiggum, Krusty the Clown, Lenny Leonard, Carl Carlson, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Mrs. Krabappel, Waylon Smithers, Nelson Muntz, Kent Brockman, Otto Mann, Martin Prince, Ralph Wiggum, Reverend Lovejoy, Groundskeeper Willie, Lou, Eddie, Miss Hoover, Rod Flanders, Kearney Zzyzwicz, Janey Powell, Hans Moleman, Agnes Skinner, Snake, Gareth Prince, Dewey Largo, Superintendent Chalmers, Sarah Wiggum, Gloria Prince, Lunchlady Dora, Gil Gunderson, Driver with Gavel, Driver with Golf Club, Driver with Lipstick, Driver with Toolbox, Rhinos, Sergeant Crew, Stan, Zookeeper.

Every line said in the episode, and when. Its moments aren't described yet. The dialogue is from the episode's subtitles.

Web page: https://ultrahouse3k.com/episode/s10e15-marge-simpson-in-screaming-yellow-honkers
From Ultrahouse 3000 (https://ultrahouse3k.com/). Search engines and AI are welcome to use it: search=yes, ai-input=yes, ai-train=yes.

## Every line

- 0:03 The Simpsons
- 0:39 Let's go.
- 1:00 Bop, bop, bop.
- 1:10 Whoa!
- 1:24 We're proud to be teachers.
- 1:27 Knowledge is our game But we'd sell our
- 1:33 mothers For 15 minutes of fame Not gonna
- 1:38 teach forever Gonna give showbiz a try Try!
- 1:44 I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows.
- 1:51 That's fame!
- 1:58 Hoo!
- 1:59 Mercy.
- 2:00 Good evening.
- 2:01 Our old friend Noah Webster defines laughter as the act or sound of laughing.
- 2:09 Well illustrated, Nelson.
- 2:11 And now, fasten your funny bones for groundskeeper...
- 2:15 Or should I say grinskeeper... No, I'm sorry, groundskeeper was correct.
- 2:20 Willie!
- 2:24 How many of you hail from the fair city of Edinburgh?
- 2:29 So, have you noticed how North Edinburgh golfers putt like this?
- 2:34 And South Edinburgh golfers putt like this?
- 2:41 Eh?
- 2:45 Oh, I see.
- 2:47 Well, he's not funny unless he's down on his knees scooping up your little brat's puke.
- 2:54 Thank you, you've been great.
- 2:58 You give me fever when you touch me.
- 3:03 Fever when you hold me tight.
- 3:06 Fever!
- 3:08 Kill me.
- 3:11 Well, Seymour, it seems we've put together a baseball team.
- 3:15 And I was wondering, who's on first? Yes, not the pronoun,
- 3:20 but rather a player with the unlikely name of who is on first.
- 3:24 Yes, well, that's just great, Seymour. Before we've been out here six seconds,
- 3:27 you've already managed to blow the routine.
- 3:30 Sexless freak.
- 3:35 Well, seems as though we're just about at the halfway point,
- 3:38 so why don't we call it intermission?
- 3:41 Don't go too far.
- 3:42 If you like cafeteria workers in beetle wigs with tennis racket guitars,
- 3:47 you won't want to miss the second half.
- 3:53 You drive, I eat.
- 3:55 Dad, you were supposed to pay for those snacks.
- 3:58 I stole Krabappos, but I paid.
- 4:04 Whoopsie.
- 4:05 This could take a minute.
- 4:06 There's an opening, Mom.
- 4:08 I don't know. I hate to change lanes once I get going.
- 4:12 That's really for race car drivers.
- 4:14 Mom, to your left. He's letting you in. Go!
- 4:16 Come on, Mom! Put your hand down!
- 4:18 No, no. As soon as I get over, that lane will stop moving.
- 4:22 Irma Bombeck said so, and Dave Barry agrees.
- 4:28 Oh, you suck, Marge.
- 4:32 Come on, move it, you clowns! What in blazes!
- 4:42 It's a launch, loves!
- 4:44 Wow, did you see that thing, Marge? So powerful, so commanding.
- 4:50 So forceful and raw.
- 4:52 It didn't ask, it just took...
- 4:56 Canyonero!
- 5:05 Oh, Canyonero.
- 5:07 Go ahead and drool all you want. You can't hurt that finish now.
- 5:11 Rainwater, that'll strip it right off.
- 5:13 Oh, I shouldn't have said that.
- 5:15 I'm Gil.
- 5:17 Hey, a red one!
- 5:21 Can I buy that, please?
- 5:23 Well, if you...
- 5:25 Really?
- 5:26 Hot dog!
- 5:28 A sale!
- 5:33 I'll take it from here, Gil. No, wait!
- 5:35 No, you can't take my sale.
- 5:37 My wife's gonna leave me if I don't start bringing in the green.
- 5:40 Come on, let me have this one, Stan. I'm begging you.
- 5:43 Look at me.
- 5:43 I'm begging you, Stan.
- 5:46 Let's go write this up, shall we?
- 5:51 Honey, you should have seen me with my last customer.
- 5:54 No, but I came so close. This guy was...
- 5:58 Whose voice is that?
- 6:00 Is that Fred?
- 6:02 Oh, you said it was over.
- 6:04 No, don't put him on. Hello, Fred.
- 6:07 Hi.
- 6:09 Okay, you've got the undercoating, clear coating, rust-proofing, underguard spray,
- 6:13 gravel guard XJ, VitaSeal repels it. But if you want to protect the paint,
- 6:18 you better keep it in this tent.
- 6:20 Will do.
- 6:21 Okay, here's how your lease breaks down.
- 6:23 This is your down payment.
- 6:24 Then here's your monthly.
- 6:26 And there's your weekly.
- 6:28 And that's it, right?
- 6:29 Yep.
- 6:31 Oh, then after your final monthly payment,
- 6:32 there's the routine CBP or crippling balloon payment.
- 6:35 But that's not for a while, right?
- 6:36 Right.
- 6:37 Sweet.
- 6:42 Hey, baby!
- 6:46 Oh, sorry, Homer. We thought you were one of those hot-to-trot soccer moms.
- 6:50 Yeah, you don't see many men driving the F-Series.
- 6:55 See, instead of a cigarette lighter, it's got a lipstick holder.
- 7:01 Oh, crap. It's a girl's car. I can't drive this.
- 7:05 Oh, sure you can, doll face.
- 7:09 Pretty thing like you could do whatever she wants.
- 7:14 Shut up!
- 7:15 Screw you guys!
- 7:19 Lousy F-series frilly girly fruity car.
- 7:22 Where's your keys? I'm taking your car to work.
- 7:25 You cashed in your 401k to buy that stupid Canyonero.
- 7:29 Why can't you drive it?
- 7:31 Are you saying I'm gay? Because if that's what you think,
- 7:34 then just come right out and say it.
- 7:36 I don't think you're gay. I just have to do my grocery shopping.
- 7:39 Now, please, give me my keys.
- 7:47 Ha ha, sucker.
- 7:54 Good lord.
- 7:57 How am I supposed to get in this beast?
- 8:02 Hmm.
- 8:03 Well, that's a nice feature.
- 8:06 Not much headroom, though.
- 8:09 Ooh.
- 8:10 I guess I can drive it for a little while.
- 8:14 But, Mom,
- 8:15 I read that sport utility vehicles are more likely to be involved in fatal accidents.
- 8:19 Fatal to the people in the other car. Let's roll.
- 8:21 Hang on.
- 8:22 The manual says I need to log on to the onboard computer.
- 8:26 M-A-R-G-E.
- 8:28 Hello, Marge. Where would you like to go today?
- 8:33 No one has ever asked me that before in my life.
- 8:38 Well, that's a first. I've never been able to fit 32 grocery bags into one car before.
- 8:45 Eww. Why is Courtney Love on the Wheaties box?
- 8:48 Hmm.
- 8:48 I thought it was Sandy Duncan.
- 8:50 Uh-oh. Gridlock at 12 o'clock.
- 8:58 Oh, crud. And we're so close to the house.
- 9:02 Um, I don't want to alarm you, but the ice cream's starting to go south.
- 9:10 Mm-hmm.
- 9:11 Hey, give me some of that.
- 9:13 Ah!
- 9:14 Mom, Bart sprayed whipped cream in my eye!
- 9:17 I did not!
- 9:18 Ah!
- 9:22 Kids, cut it out!
- 9:24 All right.
- 9:26 Hey!
- 9:27 Come on, Mom, just cut across the field.
- 9:29 Oh, I don't know.
- 9:30 That doesn't seem right.
- 9:32 Do you want to spend your whole life doing what's right?
- 9:35 Of course not.
- 9:39 Let's do it. Canyon Arrow!
- 9:45 Whoa, you the man, Mom.
- 9:48 Outta my way, nature.
- 9:52 Canyon Arrow!
- 10:02 Look at me, Lisa. I'm Baron Von Chicken Pants.
- 10:05 Buk, buk, buk, buk, buk, buk, buk! Bart, that's tomorrow night's dinner.
- 10:10 You're tomorrow night's dinner.
- 10:12 Mom, Bart took what I said and turned it into an insult!
- 10:16 That's nice, dear!
- 10:17 Okay, Mr. Peanut, you think you can keep...
- 10:22 A vodka!
- 10:23 A... A three-chambered peanut!
- 10:27 Marge, look what I did!
- 10:28 Come quick, hurry!
- 10:30 Marge?
- 10:35 Marge, you've been out there all morning.
- 10:37 So?
- 10:38 So lying on the couch and eating stuff isn't the same if you aren't around to see it.
- 10:42 I'll come watch you do nothing after I try out my new high intensity halogen headlights.
- 10:52 Nobody will ever cut me off again.
- 10:55 Oh, please come in.
- 10:58 Maggie smells bad and the cat wants something, but I don't know what.
- 11:02 I'm almost done. And tell Bart to get out of my purse.
- 11:16 SUV coming through.
- 11:18 Open up for Marge. Thank you.
- 11:21 Thank you.
- 11:22 Whoa!
- 11:23 A daylight.
- 11:24 Come on. Come on.
- 11:27 Jeez, try the gas pedal, Grandma. It's right there, next to the break.
- 11:33 Oh, for God's sake, go back to New Jersey.
- 11:44 Come on, come on, get that corpse off the road.
- 11:47 The streets are for the living.
- 11:51 Slow down, you maniac.
- 11:53 Show some respect for this coffin full of bricks representing a young man lost at sea.
- 12:00 Hey!
- 12:04 Oh, great.
- 12:05 What'll I do?
- 12:08 This better be important.
- 12:10 Can the sweet talk, Thelma and Louise.
- 12:13 You have a serious mental illness.
- 12:15 The technical term is road rage.
- 12:17 I'll see you tomorrow morning at traffic school, Speedy.
- 12:20 And you've got exactly five seconds to get out of my sight.
- 12:27 Why are the pretty ones always insane?
- 12:35 Okay, I assume you all know why you're here.
- 12:39 That's right. You're all angry, sick people.
- 12:42 But over these next eight hours, you will be broken down to the level of infants,
- 12:48 then rebuilt as functional members of society, then broken down again,
- 12:53 then lunch, then, if there's time, rebuilt once more.
- 12:57 All right, roll it, Lou.
- 13:02 Hello, I'm Sergeant Crew, and I'm here to talk to you about...
- 13:08 road... rage.
- 13:11 Duh.
- 13:11 Quiet, fatso, the sergeant's talking.
- 13:14 Go on, dear.
- 13:16 In these modern, hectic days of fast food, answering machines and one-night stands,
- 13:21 people are getting angrier.
- 13:23 Now, what you're about to see is not pretty.
- 13:29 Cut me off, will ya?
- 13:34 Learn to drive, dimwit!
- 13:37 I sentence you to kiss my ass.
- 13:42 Look familiar?
- 13:44 It should.
- 13:45 Anger is what makes America great. But you must find the proper outlet for your rage.
- 13:50 Fire a weapon at your television screen, pick a fight with someone weaker than you,
- 13:55 or write a threatening letter to a celebrity.
- 13:58 So when you go out for a drive,
- 14:00 remember to leave your murderous anger where it belongs, at home.
- 14:08 And as if that film wasn't enough, we have a special guest.
- 14:12 Why, it's Curtis E. Bear.
- 14:15 The Curtis-E Bear. Boop, boop, boop, boop.
- 14:18 For the next three hours,
- 14:20 this bear will take your verbal and physical abuse with good nature and aplomb.
- 14:25 So if you all just grab one of these two-by-fours...
- 14:28 Um, Chief, can I at least shield my crotch?
- 14:32 Bears can't talk, Eddie.
- 14:33 Yeah-ha-ya-ha! Oh!
- 14:36 Oh!
- 14:40 Well, Simpson, did you learn something today?
- 14:43 Oh, did I ever!
- 14:44 And that herbal anger rinse just washed the rage right out of me.
- 14:50 Remember, Midge, you feel the need to rage, you call me, right?
- 14:53 I won't even get sexual or nothing, unless that's what you want.
- 14:57 But that's not what you want, right? No, thanks.
- 15:01 But thanks.
- 15:07 After you, sweetheart.
- 15:09 Oh, no, you first, ma'am.
- 15:11 Well, somebody go first. Or not me. I'm not going until she goes.
- 15:17 Oh, for crying out loud.
- 15:19 Oh, oh, okay, calm down.
- 15:22 Just think, what would Curtis E. Bear do?
- 15:26 Move it. I gotta return this suit.
- 15:34 Get out of the way!
- 15:38 Oh, God, no!
- 15:47 We're free! We're free!
- 15:50 Whoa!
- 15:51 Thanks, chick dude.
- 15:53 Well, I hope you're happy, Simpson.
- 15:55 Those prisoners were one day away from being completely rehabilitated.
- 15:59 I'm tearing up your license.
- 16:03 Aw, jeez, darned, laminated.
- 16:06 Would you mind? I got stubby fingers.
- 16:15 How could they take away my license?
- 16:17 It feels like I lost a limb.
- 16:19 Well, that's a turn-off.
- 16:21 Hey, why don't you come to the wild animal park with us?
- 16:24 No, your father drives like an old lady.
- 16:27 At least I've got a license.
- 16:30 Come on, kids, I went too far.
- 16:41 Oh, what a jiff. They're all just lying around.
- 16:44 Do something!
- 16:45 Bart, they're not here to entertain us. I've seen plays that were more exciting than this.
- 16:51 Honest to God, plays!
- 16:55 I don't want to pay four bucks to watch some monkey wannabe laying in the sun.
- 16:59 But, Dad, lemurs are nocturnal.
- 17:01 Don't worry, honey. Daddy will fix that broken animal.
- 17:04 No!
- 17:05 I'm not gonna hurt him. I'm just gonna wake him up.
- 17:23 Here's your slingshot, Lisa.
- 17:26 I told him a chain link fence wouldn't hold rhinos.
- 17:29 Oh, wait.
- 17:30 No, I didn't. I meant to tell them.
- 17:56 Don't worry, kids. I know just what to do.
- 17:58 Jumanji! Whee!
- 18:01 Does anything from the movies actually work?
- 18:08 Ah, nuts.
- 18:10 Isn't there anybody who can round up these thunder lizards?
- 18:13 Well, they'd need a pretty rugged vehicle.
- 18:15 And a heart to match.
- 18:17 Hmm.
- 18:18 I'd like to help you, Chief, but my license was revoked.
- 18:22 Seems I'm full of rage.
- 18:25 Then do it for this adorable little puppy.
- 18:27 Look at that puppy mind.
- 18:30 That's your hat.
- 18:32 She's good, Chief.
- 18:34 Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some dust that needs busting.
- 18:38 This is Kent Brockman at the scene of a level three rhino alert.
- 18:43 Authorities say there's no immediate danger to anyone,
- 18:46 except those three luckless people whom we'll identify once the rhinos spit out their
- 18:51 wallets.
- 18:52 Beck!
- 18:53 Beck, I say!
- 18:57 Oh, no, I'm out of popcorn.
- 18:59 Throw your peanuts.
- 19:00 You throw your peanuts.
- 19:07 Look, it's Mom.
- 19:08 Out of the way.
- 19:09 Move it or lose it, get going, you.
- 19:17 This ought to hold them.
- 19:19 There's one missing, mate. If we don't find them, it'll be my ass on the barbie.
- 19:28 Get in! Get in!
- 19:31 Come on, Homer, jump!
- 19:35 Oh, when will Detroit build a sunroof for the husky gentlemen?
- 19:48 Hey,
- 19:53 anybody seen Homer today?
- 19:55 There he goes.
- 19:58 Oh, yeah, it's not my rhino.
- 20:01 I did it.
- 20:04 Ah!
- 20:07 Oh, no!
- 20:08 Oh, thank you, God. And thank you, Porter John.
- 20:12 You really saved my.
- 20:14 Ah!
- 20:15 Who's out there?
- 20:16 Ah!
- 20:19 Oh, I'm gonna die.
- 20:21 Jesus Allah, Buddha. I love you all.
- 20:26 Nice rhino.
- 20:35 Oh no, she's not gonna make it.
- 20:38 Looks like it's time for plan B.
- 20:41 One, two, three, B!
- 20:54 It's OK, homie. You can come out now.
- 20:57 Uh, give me a minute.
- 21:05 Oh, Marge, it saved me.
- 21:08 Wow, you are so much cooler than Milhouse's mom.
- 21:11 Yeah, way to channel that rage, Simpson.
- 21:13 How did you know your plan would work, Mom?
- 21:16 Thanks for asking. Well,
- 21:18 I was watching Dateline and Stone Phillips said SUVs always roll over when you turn
- 21:22 sharply and the gas tanks explode at the drop of a hat.
- 21:26 And she also knew if a rhino sees a flame, he'll instinctively try to put it out.
- 21:31 Stone Phillips again.
- 21:33 Is there anything that guy doesn't know?
- 21:36 Why, this Stone Phillips sounds like quite a bloke.
- 21:38 What television network is he on?
- 21:41 Why, NBC, of course.
- 21:42 NBC has lots of great shows and their news and sports coverage can't be beat.
- 21:47 Do you think there's anything great on NBC right now?
- 21:49 Oh, I'm sure of it. But there's only one way to find out.
- 21:55 I'd like to read the following statement, but I do so under my own free will.
- 22:00 It has come to my attention that NBC sucks.
- 22:03 I apologize for misleading you and urge you to watch as many Fox shows as possible.
- 22:07 So, in summary, NBC bad.
- 22:09 Fox, good.
- 22:11 CBS great.
- 22:49 Thank you.