# Skinner's Sense of Snow

The Simpsons, season 12, episode 8 (S12E08), first aired December 17, 2000.
Written by Tim Long. Directed by Lance Kramer. Production code CABF06.
Guest stars: Marcia Wallace as Mrs. Krabappel.
Chalkboard gag: "Science class should not end in tragedy". Couch gag: Football.

A blizzard traps Bart, Lisa and their classmates inside Springfield Elementary with Principal Skinner and Groundskeeper Willie. Skinner's military-style discipline sparks a revolt, and the students tie him up and take over the school. Homer and Ned Flanders attempt a rescue in Ned's car fitted as a makeshift plow, but exhaust fumes leave them hallucinating, and they end up crashing into a salt silo that melts the snow.

Who's in it: Bart Simpson, Homer Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson, Maggie Simpson, Milhouse Van Houten, Grampa Simpson, Principal Skinner, Ned Flanders, Chief Wiggum, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Mrs. Krabappel, Mr. Burns, Waylon Smithers, Nelson Muntz, Kent Brockman, Jasper Beardsley, Martin Prince, Ralph Wiggum, Groundskeeper Willie, Lou, Lewis Clark, Wendell Borton, Richard, Jimbo Jones, Miss Hoover, Todd Flanders, Rod Flanders, Kearney Zzyzwicz, Sherri Mackleberry, Terri Mackleberry, Sideshow Mel, Nina Skalka, Janey Powell, Adrian Belew, Becky Shorter, Dolph Starbeam, Horatio McCallister, Sophie Jensen, Girl with glasses, Jaffee Ziswhisky, Buck-toothed boy, Dewey Largo, Superintendent Chalmers, Sanjay Nahasapeemapetilon, Chuck Berger, Lunchlady Dora, Black Weasel, Yellow Weasel, Manjula Nahasapeemapetilon, Allison Taylor, Kyle Williams, Üter Zörker, Disco Stu, Mr. Hippie, Santa Claus, African-American Teacher, Anoop Nahasapeemapetilon, Sandeep Nahasapeemapetilon, Gheet Nahasapeemapetilon, Nabendu Nahasapeemapetilon, Poonam Nahasapeemapetilon, Pria Nahasapeemapetilon, Sashi Nahasapeemapetilon, Uma Nahasapeemapetilon, Woodrow Wilson, Circus Acrobat, Dodgeball Skinner, Nibbles.

Every line said in the episode, and when. Its moments aren't described yet. The dialogue is from the episode's subtitles.

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## Every line

- 0:59 Eep, eep.
- 1:22 Welcome back to Pigskin Preview. Denver, Green Bay, who do you like?
- 1:26 That's football, right?
- 1:29 Well, I'm gonna take the Broncos in this game,
- 1:32 because the Packers will be blinded by Jerry's tie.
- 1:38 Tremendous. I'm more worried about Al's jacket.
- 1:41 How many stations can you get on that thing?
- 1:45 All right, listen. I am sick of your jokes about the wardrobe.
- 1:48 You people can dress yourselves.
- 1:52 Well, folks, you've got a point.
- 1:54 With all our unscripted horseplay, we sometimes don't think about...
- 1:58 Lenny, are you watching this? Yeah, they really hurt that guy's feelings.
- 2:02 I know.
- 2:04 Ready for the circus, Homer?
- 2:05 Circus?
- 2:06 The Cirque de Puree.
- 2:08 We've had tickets in September.
- 2:10 But I want to watch Bret Favre.
- 2:12 Come on, Homer. They're only in town for eight months.
- 2:15 Then they're gone.
- 2:18 Oh, I missed one of Jerry's zingers.
- 2:21 Now I'll never catch up.
- 2:28 Finally, a circus full of whimsy and wonder.
- 2:32 Oh, yeah, that's way better than fun and excitement.
- 2:35 As French Canadians,
- 2:36 they don't believe in refunds or exploiting animals for entertainment.
- 2:41 Oh, I wanted to see him fire a gorilla out of a cannon.
- 2:45 Enjoy the show, for one day we shall die.
- 2:51 Oh...
- 2:54 Stop, wait, wait, attendez.
- 2:58 I cannot get the lead of my jar of rainbows.
- 3:02 Who will help me?
- 3:04 You, sir.
- 3:05 But I cannot help you. I am just a local merchant from this town.
- 3:11 Just smash it open!
- 3:13 Oh, you can do it if your heart is pure.
- 3:16 Or pure-ey.
- 3:30 They always picked the guy with the wires.
- 3:35 Whoa, look at those exotic positions.
- 3:39 Watching those women is giving me ideas.
- 3:48 They made an elephant.
- 3:52 It's hauntingly beautiful, isn't it?
- 4:03 A storm is coming.
- 4:05 I feel it in my bone.
- 4:07 Mesdames et messieurs, it appears the cloud goddess is ripe with rain babies.
- 4:12 We must run for our trucks.
- 4:16 Oh, no you don't. I paid full price for this freak show.
- 4:21 Now nourish the child within me.
- 4:24 Nourish!
- 4:28 Un, deux, trois!
- 4:35 Well, sir, we've got ourselves a classic nor'easter meeting the classic sour stuff.
- 4:40 Overnight, expect rain, turn into freezing rain, turn into sleet, turn into snow,
- 4:44 and then melting in the summer. Snow?
- 4:47 Maybe they'll cancel school. Look, the sea captain's all hunkered down.
- 4:50 Yarr! Help! I was tied here by teenage pirates.
- 4:58 The following schools are closed today. Shelbyville, Ogdenville, Ogdenville Tech,
- 5:03 and Springfield Elementary... My Dear Watson Detective School.
- 5:06 No.
- 5:08 And lastly, Springfield Elementary School...
- 5:10 Yay! ...is open.
- 5:12 No.
- 5:13 And it's open season on savings at Springfield Menswear, which is closed.
- 5:17 No, everyone's off but us. Oh, stop.
- 5:20 Your father and I don't get the day off.
- 5:22 Lenny says we've got the day off. Yippee!
- 5:27 One snow angel coming up.
- 5:33 Oh, why does that always happen?
- 5:43 Man, everyone has a snow day but us. Oh, they look wonderful.
- 5:53 Oh, yeah, Clancy, spell your name.
- 5:57 Hey, Lou, could you shake out the last few drops for me?
- 6:00 Yeah, no problem, Chief.
- 6:02 Seems like a waste of coffee, though.
- 6:06 Gentlemen, I'm proud of you.
- 6:08 Most of our students didn't bother to show up on this last day before Christmas break,
- 6:12 but you've kept intact my Cal Ripken-like streak of school openage.
- 6:16 Hey, where are the teachers?
- 6:18 Their union is called an emergency caucus.
- 6:21 Caucus, caucus, caucus!
- 6:25 But we'll have the last laugh on those Johnny Comnopleys.
- 6:28 We're going to watch my favorite movie about a grinchy little character who tries to steal
- 6:34 Christmas.
- 6:34 Oh, yeah!
- 6:40 Ho, ho, ho!
- 6:42 What's that, Blitzen?
- 6:43 Why, yes, it is Christmassy.
- 6:46 I'm happy.
- 6:56 It's the Christmas Hobgoblins!
- 7:05 What the hell is this?
- 7:07 It's classic mirth-making is what it is.
- 7:12 I will always be true
- 7:17 Spend my days pitching woo to you Oh,
- 7:22 he's been singing for two hours This couldn't have less to do with Christmas And I think
- 7:28 that's a stagehand And I love you too I
- 7:34 am you and you are you
- 7:36 Oh, you and me together you can see
- 7:43 Let's try and get a DVD this is a DVD
- 7:48 Well, you won't get to see Santa's big sing-off,
- 7:51 but seeing as we're close to the usual dismissal time
- 7:54 two one
- 7:57 There it is take off and have a frank and productive holiday.
- 8:03 Oh Oh dear God!
- 8:06 Principal Skinner! We're snowed in!
- 8:10 We're dropped in the school!
- 8:13 We're gonna miss Christmas!
- 8:16 I fixed the DVD!
- 8:24 Roads closed, pipes frozen, albinos virtually invisible.
- 8:29 The Weather Service has upgraded Springfield's blizzard from Winter Wonderland to a Class
- 8:34 3 kill storm.
- 8:36 I don't like the sound of that Class 3.
- 8:38 And where are the city's snow plows?
- 8:40 Sold off to billionaire Montgomery Burns in a veritable orgasm of poor planning.
- 8:45 He shoots, he scores.
- 8:48 Perfect form, sir.
- 8:49 This is terrible.
- 8:51 How will the kids get home?
- 8:53 I don't know.
- 8:53 Internet?
- 8:57 Children, it seems the phone lines are down.
- 8:59 So I'm afraid we're stuck here for the duration.
- 9:02 But it's my kid's birthday.
- 9:04 I'm doing a puzzle with Grandmama, and she'll finish without me.
- 9:08 Yes, yes, yes. We all had plans.
- 9:10 Except for me, ironically. I'm right where I want to be.
- 9:13 I can cut a trail through the snow. I'm part Eskimo.
- 9:15 I don't care if you're Christy Yamaguchi.
- 9:18 No one leaves the building.
- 9:19 This stinks. We'll miss the Itchy and Scratchy where they finally kiss.
- 9:22 I don't care if they're kissing Christy Yamaguchi.
- 9:25 You're not going home.
- 9:27 That's so unfair. Oh, those clothes. Skinner's a real cringe.
- 9:35 Well, I'm all for rescuing the kids, but I wish you hadn't sawed off my roof.
- 9:40 My car, your roof. It's only fair.
- 9:43 But it's my car. Well, yeah.
- 9:46 Hey, whatever happened to that plow from your old snowplow business?
- 9:49 I never had a snowplow business.
- 9:51 Sure you did, Mr. Plow. You're wearing the jacket right now.
- 9:55 I think I know my own life Ned. Oh, Mr. Plough.
- 9:59 That's my name that came again, is Mr. Plough.
- 10:04 I'm so hungry, I want more.
- 10:07 You heard the principle.
- 10:08 Everyone gets one apple and a handful of relish.
- 10:15 If you don't eat your relish, you're not getting any mayonnaise.
- 10:18 Screw this.
- 10:19 The rest of you can stay here like dorks, but I'm going home.
- 10:28 What the heck?
- 10:30 What the heck? What the heck?
- 10:33 Well, I hope you've all learned something from Nelson's headstrong-edness.
- 10:38 And from now on... We want out! We want out!
- 10:41 We want out! We want out!
- 10:45 It's getting ugly out there.
- 10:49 Think, Skinner, think.
- 10:50 What would Superintendent Chalmers do?
- 10:53 Skinner!
- 10:54 Eh, that's no help.
- 10:58 Ah, my old footlocker.
- 11:00 If I could namm, I could command respect.
- 11:05 Sarge, let's make a break for it while the guards are partying with Jane Fonda.
- 11:09 Nope, too dangerous.
- 11:10 We're all gonna sit tight and reminisce about candy bars.
- 11:13 Uh, well, uh, one time I'm eating a candy bar at the beach,
- 11:16 and a girl starts taking off her bathing suit.
- 11:19 Get back to the candy bar. Eh, the hell with this.
- 11:21 I'm getting out of here.
- 11:23 No, you fool!
- 11:30 That elephant ate my entire platoon.
- 11:33 Well, I'm not gonna let it happen again.
- 11:39 Children, stand down!
- 11:42 I said stand down!
- 11:45 I'm not joking, people. From now on,
- 11:47 there will be no talking out of turn or leaving this room.
- 11:50 Will he? Aye, sir!
- 11:53 This sucks! Are you questioning my authority?
- 11:56 Willie!
- 11:59 Ow!
- 12:00 My vest!
- 12:01 Don't just stand there, fight back!
- 12:03 There aren't enough code hooks to hold all of us!
- 12:05 Actually, there are. 5, 10, 15, 20.
- 12:08 Can you two share a hook? Yes, sir. We're fine, then.
- 12:15 I think we hit something. I hope it's Flanders.
- 12:20 I'm just kidding.
- 12:22 Hey, you're all right.
- 12:28 Now, children, if you have to answer nature's call during the night,
- 12:31 use this bucket next to Bart's head. Hey!
- 12:34 All right, lights out.
- 12:36 I'm tired of taking orders from G.I. Jerk.
- 12:39 I'm gonna tunnel out of here. No, Bart, for all we know,
- 12:42 hundreds of rescue workers are digging us out right now.
- 12:55 I feel like making love, making love to you.
- 13:01 Da-da-da, da-da-da.
- 13:04 Kanji's song, alright, he really wrote it?
- 13:06 Yeah, as a tribute to Princess Di and Dodi, because these days, princesses...
- 13:17 We're trapped.
- 13:24 Mr. Army Man, I can't sleep without my Reggie Rabbit.
- 13:28 Is that some sort of plush novelty? Yes, ma'am.
- 13:31 Well, here's a scouring pad. It's just as good.
- 13:34 It's cold and hurdy.
- 13:39 What the?
- 13:43 A tunnel!
- 13:46 Bird's taking us out! Not on my watch, he's not.
- 13:50 Oh, no!
- 13:52 I know it looks like the path to freedom, but one collapse and presto,
- 13:56 you've got a snow casket. I was gonna put buttresses in.
- 13:59 Gonna, wanna, shunna.
- 14:01 Willie, destroy it.
- 14:05 He did do a bunny job, sir.
- 14:08 Defying orders, eh? Well, I see you Scotsmen are thrifty with courage, too.
- 14:13 Okay, Skinner.
- 14:14 That's the last time you'll slap your Willie around.
- 14:18 I quit.
- 14:19 Fine.
- 14:20 I'll do the job myself.
- 14:25 Help! It's caving in!
- 14:29 What's the problem, Seymour? Stuck? That's precisely the problem, and you know it.
- 14:34 Now get me out of here!
- 14:35 What's that? You want the pee bucket on your head?
- 14:38 No! You're twisting my words!
- 14:43 Come on, we're taking over the school!
- 14:49 That's it. Cinch it up around the neck.
- 14:53 This is a gross misuse of school property.
- 14:55 Where are the dodgeballs?
- 14:57 Ow!
- 14:59 Oh!
- 15:00 All right, that's it. I'm writing all your names on the detention list in my mind.
- 15:06 Silence, Seymour. We're in charge now. Your reign of fussiness is over.
- 15:11 Attention, the school is now under kid control.
- 15:13 You are hereby ordered to go nuts! Welcome to the jungle!
- 15:17 Hey, alright!
- 15:27 Hey!
- 15:45 Let's just leave it on till we forget our troubles.
- 15:49 Hmm, sounds like a plan.
- 15:53 I can't write this, it's a grammatical nightmare.
- 15:56 Mal!
- 15:57 Diddy Mal!
- 15:58 I'm getting a cramp in my wrist.
- 16:00 Oh, boo-hoo.
- 16:01 After all the times I've done it, my wrist sounds like a cement mixer.
- 16:07 Ah.
- 16:10 Ow!
- 16:11 Come on, Seymour.
- 16:12 Mal!
- 16:13 Diddy Mal! Ow! I told you, no one can climb a rope.
- 16:16 It's physically impossible.
- 16:18 What part of Diddy Mal don't you understand?
- 16:22 Nelson, put that globe down. Milhouse, stay out of my desk.
- 16:25 Jimbo, that's my Princey award.
- 16:27 Quiet, Principal Spinner.
- 16:31 Hey, I got Skinner's keycard. We can finally see our permanent records.
- 16:36 No, you can't go in there.
- 16:38 Yay! Hoorah!
- 16:40 Hoorah!
- 16:41 Underachiever and proud of it.
- 16:44 How old is this thing?
- 16:45 Lisa is an outstanding student with a slight tendency toward know-it-all-ism.
- 16:51 That's not even a word.
- 16:53 Then we'll get rid of the record, permanently!
- 17:02 Hey, look how much Skinner makes, $25,000 a year.
- 17:07 Wow!
- 17:08 Let's see, he's 40 years old times 25 grand.
- 17:12 Whoa, he's a millionaire!
- 17:14 Wow!
- 17:16 I wasn't a principal when I was one. Plus, in the summer, he paints houses.
- 17:21 He's a billionaire!
- 17:23 Wow!
- 17:24 If I were a billionaire, why would I be living with my mother?
- 17:29 They're just not responding to logic anymore.
- 17:32 I'll never win this alone.
- 17:33 There's only one guy who can help me now.
- 17:39 Look, I'm throwing paper!
- 17:50 You're my only hope, Nibbles.
- 18:00 Godspeed, Nibbles.
- 18:01 Godspeed.
- 18:04 Ah, nuts!
- 18:06 There you are.
- 18:08 Falcon and Eagle have located bag of crap.
- 18:11 Nelson, if you get me out of this,
- 18:12 there's a hall monitor position coming open in the spring.
- 18:14 I spit on your monitors.
- 18:16 I know. That's why the position's available.
- 18:25 Marvelous!
- 18:27 Enough.
- 18:28 I grow weary of your sexually suggestive dancing.
- 18:32 Bring me my ranch dressing hose.
- 18:42 Homer!
- 18:44 Homer, wake up! The car's filling with...
- 18:46 I know!
- 18:47 Ranch dressing!
- 18:50 A hamster ball!
- 18:52 Just like the one that saved Ezekiel!
- 18:56 We're free!
- 18:58 And we've got something to eat!
- 19:03 Ah! Ah! Ah!
- 19:06 Whoo-hoo!
- 19:07 Now let's go save those kids.
- 19:09 You're the camel.
- 19:11 Hey, this car's got cruise control.
- 19:13 School, please.
- 19:17 Oh, wait, that's not how it... Gah!
- 19:23 It's happening.
- 19:24 My horoscope was right.
- 19:28 So long, Johnny Tremaine. Your Newbery Award won't save you now.
- 19:33 Not, Hulk Finn. I spent hours crossing out the sass back.
- 19:37 We're gonna crash.
- 19:38 Do you have airbags?
- 19:40 No, the church opposes them for some reason.
- 19:54 What was that? It sounded like a silo tipping over.
- 20:01 Look, the snow's melting.
- 20:04 With a little help from our friend sodium chloride.
- 20:13 Dad!
- 20:25 You did it, Nibbles.
- 20:27 Now, chew through my ball sack.
- 20:30 Huh?
- 20:31 Skinner?
- 20:33 Oh, Superintendent Chalmers. What are you doing in that ridiculous duffel, Seymour?
- 20:38 And is that burning literature I smell? Uh, well, sir, I, uh...
- 20:43 There'd better be a good explanation for this.
- 20:47 There is, sir.
- 20:48 Ah, then I'm happy.
- 20:52 Bart, if there's one thing I'm good at, it's pretending things didn't happen.
- 20:56 And I think this is one of those.
- 20:59 One of which?
- 21:00 Exactly. No, seriously, I wasn't listening.
- 21:03 One of those situations where... Gotcha!
- 21:08 Come on, kids. Let's leave this awful place and never come back.
- 21:16 Boy, that salt really ate through the car.
- 21:18 And the exhaust pipe is leaking.
- 21:20 What?
- 21:21 And furthermore...
- 21:26 Ignore her, Effendi.
- 21:27 We have each other. Oh, baby.
- 21:31 No use struggling, my beloved Chalamala.
- 21:35 Merry Christmas from The Simpsons.