Mr. Plow

The Simpsons, season 4, episode 9. First aired November 19, 1992. Every line said in it, with its time: open one for its frame, to caption it or make a GIF.

← New Kid on the Block Lisa's First Word → The whole episode as text

From “Mr. Plow”: “the batmobile” — the batmobile

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About the episode

Homer destroys both family cars during a blizzard, replaces them with a snowplow and turns it into a booming business with a low-budget TV commercial, winning the key to the city. Barney Gumble then launches the Plow King with a bigger truck and a jingle sung by Linda Ronstadt, taking away Homer's clients. Homer lures Barney up Widow's Peak with a fake job, then rescues him from an avalanche.

Written by: Jon Vitti
Directed by: Jim Reardon
Guest stars: Phil Hartman as Troy McClure; Adam West; Linda Ronstadt
Chalkboard gag: A burp is not an answer
Couch gag: Small Chair
Production code: 9F07

The synopsis is our own. Credits and guest stars from Wikipedia and the Simpsons wiki.

Every line

294 lines, from the episode's subtitles. Its moments aren't described yet.

0:03 The Simpsons
1:21 Live from Hawaii's beautiful Molokai Island, we're not just for lepers anymore.
1:27 It's Carnival of the Stars!
1:32 I'm your host, Troy McClure.
1:34 You may remember me from such films as The Erotic Adventures of Hercules and Dial
1:40 M for Murderousness.
1:42 Tonight, we'll see Angela Lansbury walk on hot coals.
1:46 Excitement, she wrote.
1:52 Who could someone abuse their body that way?
1:56 Mo, don't throw out that brine
2:00 But first,
2:01 a man whose inspiring battle with Percodan addiction is soon to be a movie of the week
2:06 Krusty the Clown I'll be played by Jimmy Smith
2:11 Now he faces his toughest audience Three Siberian Tigers
2:16 Simba, on the ball
2:22 Not the face They'll be chewing on him for a while
2:28 Ay, ay, ay, la policía
2:33 Hey, Homer, phone call
2:35 Hi, homie It's really starting to snow I think you should come home But Marge,
2:40 Alan think he's throwing knives at Ricardo Mazelbon Ow Sorry, Ricardo
2:45 Take it easy, folks It's snow picnic out there
2:49 I snow, what you mean?
2:52 You're dead weight, Marty
3:05 Don't!
3:07 Well, I got him as good as he got me
3:12 Don't!
3:17 Now, before I give you the check,
3:18 one more question This place Moe's you left just before the accident This is a business of
3:24 some kind? Don't tell him you're at a bar.
3:27 But what else is open at night?
3:29 It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
3:34 I would have never thought of that.
3:44 Afraid old Zeke, he rides up here with me.
3:47 Can't trust a pig with watermelons, you know.
3:57 She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene.
4:01 What country is this car from?
4:03 It no longer exists, but take her for a test drive, and you'll agree.
4:12 Put it in H!
4:14 Kids, if we buy a new car, we get our parking validated for free.
4:22 Do you come with the car?
4:24 Oh, you.
4:28 Do you come with the car?
4:30 Oh, you.
4:38 Bert, that car belonged to Bonnie and Clyde.
4:41 Show a little respect.
4:47 Our tireless safety engineers crash test over 1,000 cars a year.
4:57 hey wait that's not a dummy this exhibit is closed
5:02 the batmobile
5:07 adam west hey kids batman dad that's not the real batman
5:13 of course i'm batman see here's a picture of me with robin who the hell's robin
5:18 oh i guess you're only familiar with new Batman movies?
5:23 Michelle Fiverr?
5:24 Ha! The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Merriweather, or Eartha Kitt.
5:30 And I didn't need molded plastic to improve my physique.
5:35 Pure West.
5:37 And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore?
5:40 Remember the Bat-to-See?
5:43 Hey,
5:47 nice meeting you. Just keep moving. Don't make eye contact.
5:53 Wow!
5:54 Just think what I could do with that plow.
6:00 Homer, I've got to sneak these valuable artworks out of the White House,
6:04 but I can't get out of my driveway because of these protesters.
6:07 Mr. President, those young people are about to get a dose of reality.
6:16 He, he, he, he, he, he.
6:19 Eh, I can't afford it. Bally, this doesn't cost money,
6:22 it makes money You make the payments by plowing driveways on the side Well,
6:27 I really should discuss this with my wife Your wife?
6:32 What, you think I'm gonna buy a $20,000 truck just because you make that noise?
6:38 I'll take it
6:40 I can't believe you bought that plow,
6:42 we can't afford it If you're gonna get mad at me every time I do something stupid Then I
6:47 guess I'll just have to stop doing stupid things Good!
6:51 Fine! I'll never ever do another stupid thing.
6:54 Goodnight!
6:55 Oh, homie, didn't that hurt?
6:58 Oh!
6:59 Marge didn't reckon with these flyers and this flashy jacket.
7:11 Forget it, Homer.
7:13 People don't read these things.
7:15 Watch!
7:16 20% off at lullabies.
7:19 Just tell them Big Baby sent you. I know you can hear me.
7:23 I'm talking to you. You sicken me.
7:26 I guess guys like us just can't get a break.
7:29 Well, at least I can't sink any lower.
7:33 Come back, diaper!
7:34 Come back!
7:36 Hi, Ma!
7:38 And now to read from the Epistles of St.
7:41 Paul, Homer Simpson.
7:44 Dear Lord, in your infinite wisdom,
7:47 you know the number to call when you need a plow is Klondike 5-3226.
7:52 Homer, this is really low.
7:54 Not as low as my low, low prices.
7:59 That's Mr. Plow!
8:01 Oh, I'm gonna lose my plow. Dad,
8:04 have you considered buying cheap commercial time on Channel 92?
8:07 Check it out.
8:09 Arr!
8:10 90 sea shanties on three compact discs.
8:13 Blow the man down, mateys. Blow the man down.
8:17 Row, row, row your boat. In the navy.
8:21 Come on and join your fellow man.
8:23 Act now and get a bonus CD.
8:26 Hornpipe fever.
8:28 Arr!
8:29 Mmm.
8:33 Almost time for our commercial. Dad, who's watching TV at 3.17 a.m.?
8:39 Alcoholics, the unemployable, angry loners.
8:46 Look, there we are! It may be on a lousy channel,
8:50 but the Simpsons are on TV.
8:53 Our driveway snowed in.
8:56 Old Man Winter!
9:00 That's right. I fill your driveways with ice and snow.
9:03 What are you gonna do about it? Nothing!
9:06 That's what!
9:08 Eh!
9:09 Eh! Stop!
9:10 Mr.
9:11 Plow!
9:12 Get out, you lousy...season!
9:14 Alright, I'm going.
9:16 My head hurts. I have to lie down for a while.
9:19 Yay!
9:21 Hello.
9:22 Hi, Mr. Plow. Are you tired of having your hands cut off by snow blowers?
9:26 Any inevitable heart attacks that come with shoveling snow?
9:29 Uh-huh. Then call Klandark 5-3226. Call now and receive a free T-shirt.
9:36 He could still surprise you. But I'm a real tightwad.
9:39 Can I afford this remarkable system?
9:42 Absolutely.
9:42 My prices are so low, you'll think I've suffered brain damage.
9:47 You are fully bonded and licensed by the city, aren't you, Mr.
9:49 Plow? Shut up, boy.
9:51 So remember, call Mr. Plow. That's my name.
9:56 That name again is Mr. Plow.
10:00 Well, John Q. Driveway has our number. Now we play the waiting game.
10:11 Oh, the waiting game sucks. Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos.
10:17 Thank you, Mr. Plough. Now my store can remain open.
10:22 Let's do it.
10:24 We're not prisoners anymore. We're free.
10:27 We can go anywhere we want.
10:33 I'm cold and frightened.
10:43 I'm afraid classes may be canceled today.
10:46 Look!
10:53 We won't miss a minute of school thanks to your father.
10:59 Say your prayers, Plow Boy!
11:09 Mr. Plow,
11:11 for making it possible for people to get where they're going without resorting to public
11:15 transportation or carpooling, I give you the key to the city.
11:22 Here you go, Mr. Plow. A beer on the house.
11:25 Wow, Mo!
11:26 You didn't even give a beer to those free-terranean hostages!
11:30 Ah, they shouldn't have been there in the first place.
11:33 But Homer is a real hero.
11:35 Ah, I wish I was a hero.
11:38 Well, wishing won't make it so.
11:40 You gotta pull up your diaper, get out there, and be the best damn party it can be.
11:44 Here I come, world!
11:52 How do you think he'll do, Mo? I think he'll do just fine.
11:58 I was wrong about you buying that truck.
12:01 I'm very proud of you, Mr.
12:05 Plow.
12:08 This might sound silly, but just for a change, would you mind...
12:13 Cutting my nails? Brushing my teeth?
12:16 No, no.
12:18 Could you wear the Mr. Plow jacket? That...
12:21 just, uh... for fun.
12:24 Oh... He-he-he-he.
12:32 Oh, Mr. Plow, that's my name. That name again is Mr.
12:37 Plow.
12:44 Ah, white gold.
12:48 What's that?
12:56 Hiya, Homer!
12:57 Say hello to the Plow King!
13:00 Barney, you stole my idea!
13:04 Don't worry, Homer!
13:05 There's nothing wrong with a little healthy competition!
13:21 Well, well, if it isn't Mr.
13:24 Plow Hey,
13:32 Plow King, save some for me Wow, Linda Ronstadt
13:40 Linda Ronstadt? How'd you get her? Oh,
13:43 we've been looking for a project to do together for a while.
13:50 When the snow starts a-fallin', there's a man you should be callin'.
13:55 That's Kel 54796. Let it ring. Mr.
14:00 Plow is a loser, and I think he is a boozer.
14:07 So you better make that call to the plow king
14:14 How could you, Barney?
14:17 After all I've done for you
14:20 Lacrimose is too dyspeptic as ebullient is too effervescent All
14:26 right, Harvard, here I come Psst, Barney, my dad's asleep Want a beer?
14:31 I don't know, the SAT's out tomorrow I've got two words for you Mellow out, man.
14:37 All right, just one. It'll get you off my back.
14:52 Hey, where have you been all my life?
15:01 Thank you, Plow Kingly Ding.
15:04 Flanders, I thought I was your plow man.
15:06 Uh, Homer, why don't you plow it again? Forget it, pal.
15:09 I don't need your phony baloney job.
15:12 I'll take your money. But I'm not going to plow your driveway.
15:19 Mr. West, you said there was a job for me.
15:21 There was, when I called you 45 minutes ago.
15:26 Go on, Superman.
15:27 Your secret identity is safe with me.
15:42 Ring, damn you, ring!
15:46 Mr. Plough, that name again is Mr. Plough.
15:49 Hello, I'm calling from delinquent accounts at Kumatsu Motors.
15:53 Oh, you want the Mr. Plough who plows driveways.
15:57 This is Tony Plough, you know, from Lever to Beaver.
16:02 Yeah, they were gay Oh, what am I gonna do?
16:05 I think you should do a new ad One that's fresh and original I know,
16:09 I'll do a rap Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom I'm Mr.
16:14 Plow, and I'm here to say I'm the plow in the sky and the U.S.
16:17 I got a big plow and I move a lot of things Stop Like your cow if you have one Stop it
16:22 right now Promise you'll never do that again All right
16:27 Mr. Simpson, I guarantee you we'll come up with a commercial that can save your business.
16:31 You know those radio ads where two people with annoying voices yammer back and forth?
16:36 I invented those.
16:37 Ow!
16:39 Happens all the time.
17:01 Dad, was that your commercial?
17:03 I don't know.
17:05 The torch has been passed to a new generation of, uh, snow plow people.
17:12 Come on, give me the key.
17:14 These look like teeth marks. I thought there was chocolate inside.
17:18 Well, why was it wrapped in foil? It was never wrapped in foil.
17:24 Hardest hit by the blizzard is Springfield's Forbidding Widow's Peak.
17:27 Our own Arnie Pie is on the scene.
17:30 Everything snowed in. All I can see is white.
17:32 Arnie, please, the ski conditions.
17:34 Mayday, mayday. I think I'm flying into a mountain.
17:37 Tell my wife I love...
17:39 That's great, Arnie.
17:44 Hello, Plow King.
17:46 I was wondering if you could plow my driveway on top of Forbidding Widow's Peak.
17:51 I don't know.
17:52 I'd be up there all day.
17:53 I wouldn't be able to plow any other driveways.
17:56 There's a $10,000 bill in it for you. Oh, yeah?
17:59 Which president's on it?
18:01 Uh, all of them.
18:03 They're having a party.
18:05 Jimmy Carter's passed out on the couch. Wow!
18:08 I'll be right there! Barney,
18:10 I'd like to put a Spanish version of your jingle on my next album.
18:15 Señor Plá, no es macho, es solamente un borracho.
18:20 Yeah, you do that.
18:22 Well, I guess you can plow my driveway. but I wonder what happened to the Plow King.
18:27 Oh, I guess he just doesn't respect his customers.
18:30 Oh, could you make sure not to scrape my asphalt?
18:34 Kiss my asphalt.
18:36 So I says, kiss my asphalt.
18:40 Hmm?
18:41 Springfield's beloved Plow King is trapped.
18:45 Barney Gumbel, shown here donating $50,000 to the Shelbyville Dance Theater,
18:49 was caught in a sudden avalanche on Widow's Peak earlier today.
18:52 It was captured on film by a camera crew making the upcoming Fox special,
18:56 In Search of Bigfoot.
19:00 Hold it, Bob. We can see your wristwatch.
19:02 Oh, damn it.
19:03 Hey, what's that?
19:11 This is all my fault. I've got to save him.
19:22 Homie, please don't go.
19:24 Hey, this old girl's as sure-footed as a mountain goat.
20:06 Easy.
20:10 William.
20:20 Ah, dying's not so bad.
20:22 I'll be reunited with my loved ones, my dad, and that plant I never wanted.
20:34 Bernie!
20:37 Homer, you saved my life, and I'm not going to forget it.
20:41 From now on, we'll be partners.
20:44 Barney, that's great.
20:46 When two best friends work together, not even God himself can stop them.
20:51 Oh, no.
21:03 The snow's melted.
21:05 We can go outside again.
21:09 I don't like the looks of those teenagers.
21:13 Could this record-breaking heat wave be the result of the dreaded greenhouse effect?
21:17 Well, if 70-degree days in the middle of winter are the price of car pollution,
21:22 you'll forgive me if I keep my old Pontiac.
21:27 Yeah, hello. Hello, this is the Repo Depot.
21:30 I'm just calling to distract you while we repossess your plow.
21:33 Oh, yeah? How dumb do you think I...
21:36 Oh.
21:37 Oh, now, homie, you have your health, you have your best friend back,
21:41 and you do have that certain special something.
21:46 You mean...
21:48 Mm-hmm.
21:50 Mr. Plow, that's my name.
21:53 That name again is Mr. Plow.
21:57 Our forecast calls for flurries of passion,
22:00 followed by extended periods of getting it on.
22:08 Thank you.
22:51 Shh.

Who's in it

Bart Simpson, Homer Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson, Maggie Simpson, Moe Szyslak, Grampa Simpson, Principal Skinner, Ned Flanders, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Carl Carlson, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Nelson Muntz, Kent Brockman, Otto Mann, Martin Prince, Reverend Lovejoy, Groundskeeper Willie, Santa's Little Helper, Richard, Snowball II, Mayor Quimby, Larry Dalrymple, Sam, Adrian Belew, Horatio McCallister, Snake, Troy McClure, Bumblebee Man, Raphael, Just Stamp the Ticket Man, Mayor Quimby's Bodyguards, Arnie Pye, Marty, Bill, George H. W. Bush, Adam West, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Menthol Moose, Zutroy, Bigfoot, Springfield Downs Dad, Avoidant Passerby, Disturbed Passerby, Insurance Broker, Linda Ronstadt, McMahon and Tate Executive, Plow King Customer, Uninterested Passerby

Everyone who appears in it, from the Simpsons wiki. Every character