Lisa's First Word

The Simpsons, season 4, episode 10. First aired December 3, 1992. Every line said in it, with its time: open one for its frame, to caption it or make a GIF.

← Mr. Plow Homer's Triple Bypass → The whole episode as text

From “Lisa's First Word”: “No, this is true.” — No, this is true.

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About the episode

As the family tries to get Maggie talking, Marge recalls 1983, when a second pregnancy prompts her, Homer and toddler Bart to leave their cramped apartment for the Evergreen Terrace house, bought with Grampa's money. Bart resents his new sister Lisa until her first spoken word turns out to be his name. Later, after Homer leaves the room, Maggie says "Daddy" in Elizabeth Taylor's voice.

Written by: Jeff Martin
Directed by: Mark Kirkland
Guest stars: Elizabeth Taylor as Maggie Simpson
Chalkboard gag: Teacher is not a leper
Couch gag: Circus Line
Production code: 9F08

The synopsis is our own. Credits and guest stars from Wikipedia and the Simpsons wiki.

Every line

340 lines, from the episode's subtitles. Its moments aren't described yet.

0:02 The Simpsons
1:06 Oh!
2:05 Did you hear that?
2:06 She said burlap I don't think so Oh Maggie When are you going to talk?
2:12 Well don't push her Remember,
2:14 it is better to remain silent and be thoughtful Than to open your mouth and remove all
2:19 doubt What does that mean?
2:21 You better say something or they'll think you're stupid Takes one to know one Swish
2:26 According to Fretful Mother magazine If Maggie doesn't talk by age one,
2:31 we should consider a corrective tongue extender.
2:34 Hey, what was my first word?
2:36 Uh, well...
2:40 Whoa!
2:42 Yes.
2:44 Ay, caramba!
2:45 You know, I don't think I remember.
2:49 But the story of Lisa's first word is very cute.
2:53 Tell it, Mom! Tell it, Mom! Yeah, tell it, Mom.
2:55 Well, this story begins in that unforgettable spring of 1983.
3:00 Ms. Pac-Man struck a blow for women's rights.
3:03 A young Joe Piscopo taught us how to laugh.
3:06 Before Lisa was born,
3:08 we lived in a tiny apartment on the Lower East Side of Springfield.
3:14 Chip, witch for sale.
3:16 Chocolate chip or oatmeal raisin.
3:19 Chip, witch for sale.
3:21 You guys want to play stickball? Certainly.
3:24 Yeah, sure, let's go. Here, come on.
3:29 Did you girls watch the last episode of MASH?
3:32 That Mike Farrell really boils my potato.
3:36 I miss the declinger already.
3:38 When the working day is done, girls just want to have fun.
3:44 That's all we really want.
3:47 Homer!
3:49 Homer's what grown-ups call me.
3:52 Call me Daddy.
3:53 Homer!
3:54 Daddy.
3:55 Calmer. Steady.
3:57 Dad.
3:59 Da.
3:59 Yes?
4:01 Domer.
4:02 Why, you little...
4:18 Hey, hey.
4:20 Whoa!
4:24 Eh, he'll tire himself out soon.
4:31 Then the prince and the princess got married and lived happily
4:37 ever after.
4:38 Then what happened?
4:41 They had 30 sons and 30 daughters.
4:45 What were their names? Hmm.
4:47 Dennis?
4:49 Brad?
4:51 Mavis?
4:53 Brad?
5:02 No, this is true.
5:03 The Coast Guard arrested Boy George for scraping the barnacles off his dinghy.
5:09 Hi-oh!
5:14 Got your nose.
5:16 Got your wallet.
5:19 No!
5:21 Bart, don't you ever do that again.
5:24 Understand?
5:25 Beep.
5:26 Guess what, homie? There's going to be twice as much love in this house as there is now.
5:31 We're going to start doing it in the morning?
5:33 No.
5:34 Oh. We're going to have another baby.
5:37 Marge, that's... Bye-bye, keys.
5:42 You hear that, Bart?
5:44 You're going to have a little brother or sister to play with.
5:52 Who did this? Baby.
5:56 Bad baby!
6:17 I'm afraid we're going to need a bigger place.
6:20 No, we won't. I've got it all figured out.
6:23 The baby can have Bart's crib, and Bart can sleep with us until he's 21.
6:27 Won't that warp him? My cousin Frank did it.
6:30 You don't have a cousin Frank. He became Francine back in 76.
6:34 Then he joined that cult. I think his name is Mother Shaboo-Boo now.
6:39 That afternoon, we left Bart with my sisters and went house hunting.
6:46 Hey, Bart, want a dollar?
6:49 Uh-uh-uh.
6:50 You know what I want to hear?
6:52 I'm a little teapot, short and stout. This is my handle,
6:57 this is my spout It'sy bitsy spider went up the water spout Oh, yeah.
7:02 Love that spout medley.
7:06 Now, Mr. and Mrs. Simpson,
7:08 the only houses I have in your price range are in the neighborhood colorfully referred to
7:13 as the rat's nest.
7:19 This one just came on the market.
7:22 Oh, dear.
7:25 Now, here we have beautiful hardwood floors, trap lighting.
7:30 What's that stench?
7:35 Once you get used to the smell of melted hog fat,
7:37 you'll wonder how you ever did without it.
7:40 Mmm, hog fat.
7:42 Let's keep looking.
7:45 Ooh, do you smell something?
7:49 Arr, why buy a house when ye can buy a houseboat?
7:55 Excuse me.
8:01 Don't forget to check out the galley.
8:03 That's real shag carpeting.
8:08 Once we get the cats out of the way, it won't be too bad.
8:12 Actually, according to the will, the cats own the house.
8:14 You'd be their tenants.
8:18 I wish we lived in the kitty house.
8:21 I could've trained them to be my unholy army of the night.
8:23 Go, my pretties.
8:25 Kill, kill.
8:27 We were about to give up when we found a house that was perfect.
8:33 Just imagine what we can do with this place.
8:38 Wow.
8:39 How much, how much? Well, here's what they're asking.
8:41 Oh, I can't afford that.
8:45 Dad, I have a problem. Why'd you come to me?
8:49 I don't know nothing. I used to get by on my looks.
8:52 Now they're gone, withered away like an old piece of fruit.
8:59 Are you done?
9:00 No, not yet.
9:01 I was voted the handsomest boy in Albany, New York.
9:06 Dad, I don't need advice. I need $15,000 to buy a home.
9:10 Oh, well, all I own is this house that I built with my own two hands.
9:16 You didn't build this house. You want it on a crooked 50s game show.
9:19 I ratted on everybody and got off scot-free!
9:23 Ha-ha!
9:24 All right, son.
9:26 I'll sell this dump and write you a check.
9:29 Dad, first you gave me life. Now you've given me a home for my family.
9:34 I'd be honored if you came to live with us.
9:37 Thank you.
9:41 So how long before you shipped Grandpa off to the old folks' home?
9:44 About three weeks.
9:54 Maggie, I'll give you this cookie if you talk What, what?
10:00 Don't!
10:01 All right, you win round seven When are we going to get to my first word?
10:05 Your what, what? My first word Ah, you don't want to hear that story I know,
10:10 I'll tell you about the time I got locked in the bank vault with Mr.
10:13 Mooney It was another one of my harebrained schemes.
10:16 Dad!
10:16 Wait a minute.
10:17 That was a Lucy show.
10:19 Okay, where were we? Mama's brothers and dad just threw all our money down the sinkhole.
10:23 Ah, yes.
10:24 I remember the day we moved in.
10:33 Hey, Homer, this house sucks. Bart, I told you not to use that word.
10:37 Call me daddy.
10:39 Homer.
10:43 We welcome you to the neighborhood. Sing fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
10:49 Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la.
10:51 From now on, you'll be history.
10:54 You'll be history. You'll be history. You'll be history.
10:56 Buenos dias, neighboritos.
10:58 The handle's Flanders, but my friends call me Ned.
11:01 Hi, Flanders. Who the hell are you?
11:04 My name's Todd.
11:05 Would you be my friend?
11:07 You're funny.
11:09 If you need anything, just give a whistle.
11:12 I could use a TV tray.
11:14 Well, Gia. What?
11:16 I just this minute bought it at the hardware store.
11:18 You said anything.
11:20 Sure, you can borrow it for a little while.
11:24 And that little while is now eight years and counting.
11:28 Anyway, Bart had just entered the terrible twos.
11:32 I am so great. I am so great.
11:35 Everybody loves me.
11:37 I am so great. Honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey.
11:40 Could you please be quiet?
11:42 Quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet.
11:46 Bart, get out!
11:48 Not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child,
11:52 but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
12:17 Hey, kids!
12:20 Summer's just around the corner,
12:22 and Krusty Burger is the official meat-flavored sandwich of the 1984 Olympics.
12:33 Coochie, coochie, cool.
12:36 Krusty funny. Duh.
12:39 It's all part of our Krusty Burger Olympic sweepstakes.
12:42 Just scratch off the name of the Olympic event on your game card,
12:45 and if America wins a gold medal, you win a free Krusty Burger!
12:50 Mmm, mmm, mmm!
12:52 And cut.
12:55 I almost swallowed some of the juice.
13:01 I'll be tasting that for weeks. Great spot, Casey.
13:05 Put a sock in it, Prippy.
13:07 How much are these free burgers gonna cost me?
13:09 Not to worry, Mr. K. We've rigged the cards.
13:12 They're all in events that communists never lose.
13:15 I like, I like.
13:16 This just came over the wires, Big K.
13:19 Uh-huh.
13:20 Soviet boycott.
13:21 U.S. unopposed in most events. How does this affect our giveaway?
13:25 Let's see.
13:26 You personally stand to lose 44 million dollars.
13:29 Oh, ho, ho, ho.
13:32 Aye.
13:38 Bart, from now on, the baby sleeps in the crib.
13:41 Crib, crib, I'm a baby.
13:44 All right, I know how to handle this.
13:46 Just use a little reverse psychology.
13:49 Let's go, Marge.
13:51 Leave the baby with his little crib.
13:58 Ah!
14:09 Uh, Homer J. Simpson, you're a genius.
14:13 I know you like clowns, so I made you this bed.
14:16 Now you can laugh yourself to sleep.
14:24 If you should die before you wake...
14:32 Can't sleep.
14:33 Clown will eat me.
14:35 Can't sleep clown will eat me.
14:38 Oh Doctor we are seconds away from the hundred meter butterfly and with the East German
14:44 Women shaving their backs 9000 miles away the Americans are heavy favorites
14:51 Patience my pet
14:54 And the Americans jump out to an early lead
14:58 Although we should point out that many of the other women represent countries that don't
15:03 have swimming pools Hoo-hoo!
15:05 You're breaking my heart.
15:08 Homie, I think the baby's coming.
15:11 Wow, a baby and a free burger.
15:14 Could this be the best day of my life? Coming up next,
15:18 an hour-long episode of Mama's Family.
15:21 Yes.
15:22 We'll take good care of your boys, Simpson.
15:24 Enjoy the miracle of creation.
15:26 Shut up, Flanders.
15:29 So, kids, what do you want to play?
15:31 Good Samaritan!
15:38 I get to clothe the leper.
15:41 Lucky.
15:42 Suppertime, boys.
15:43 Oh, boy, liver.
15:45 Iron helps us play.
15:48 I want to go home.
15:51 No, I don't.
15:53 I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.
15:57 Where?
15:58 Down in my heart, Tuesday.
16:01 And if the devil doesn't like it, he can sit on a tack.
16:05 Ouch! Sit on a tack. Ouch!
16:11 Can you help me with my sums?
16:14 Baa!
16:15 Oh, Bart, you met Grandma Flanders. Hope she didn't scare you.
16:20 Hello, Joe!
16:24 Little Lisa, I've already started you a college fund at Lincoln Savings and Loan.
16:29 According to this magazine, Bart might be jealous of her.
16:33 Yeah, well, Bart can kiss my hairy yellow butt.
16:37 From now on, the baby sleeps in the crib.
16:40 Iron helps us play.
16:43 Hello, Joe.
16:45 From now on, the baby sleeps in the crib.
16:48 Iron helps us play.
16:51 Hello, Joe.
16:53 Bart, there's someone in here who wants to meet you.
17:05 Well, Bart, what do you think of little Lisa?
17:10 I hate you.
17:13 I saved this newspaper from the day Lisa was born.
17:17 Mondale to heart.
17:19 Where's the beef? Where's the beef?
17:21 What the hell is that supposed to mean?
17:24 Where's the beef? No wonder he won Minnesota.
17:27 Everyone agreed that Lisa was a beautiful baby.
17:34 Here she is.
17:41 Isn't that cute?
17:44 She's coughing.
17:45 Oh, I'm gonna give her a kiss.
17:52 I know a new song. You still here? Alouette,
17:57 janty alouette Alouette Um Uh
18:04 Alouette You already sang that part The older they get,
18:08 the cuter they ain't Hey, the baby just spit up
18:17 Welcome back to the final day of this The 23rd Olympiad Brought to you by Krusty Burger
18:23 You people are pigs
18:28 I personally am going to spit in every 50th burger.
18:32 I like those odds. In a moment, we'll look at the courageous Korean gymnast, Kim Hwan,
18:38 who made a perfect dismount on what was later revealed to be a broken leg.
18:47 Ouch!
18:49 But first, let's go to the boxing venue.
18:51 Please, please, please, please, please.
18:53 The American Dreaderick Tatum does a triumphant turkey trot over the
18:58 supine suite.
19:00 One's thoughts turn to Alexander of Macedon's victory at Granicus
19:05 and Issus.
19:10 USA!
19:13 Carl Lewis, I could kiss you!
19:19 She has the reflexes of a young Mary Lou Retton.
19:23 Have a lollipop. Can I have a lollipop?
19:27 Oh, Bart, I'm afraid that was the last one.
19:30 But I've got something even better for you.
19:33 A rubella inoculation.
19:40 I want to hold the baby. I want to hold the baby.
19:43 I'm sorry, Bart, you're too little.
19:46 Here, Bart, you can hold my beer.
19:49 Homer!
19:50 What?
19:51 Good night, honey.
19:57 Hello, Lisa.
20:01 Lisa, time for your feed.
20:06 Who's cuter now?
20:10 She started it.
20:16 Stupid mailman squeal on me.
20:21 Hidey-ho, Simpson.
20:22 Your son shoved this through our doggy door.
20:24 And, uh, since we're returning your second born,
20:27 you think you can see your way to returning my TV trick?
20:30 Boy, you get over to the corner and you...
20:34 Yeah.
20:39 I liked it when it was me, Mom, and Homer.
20:41 You wrecked everything.
20:43 I'm leaving. Goodbye.
20:46 Bart!
20:48 What did you say?
20:49 Bart?
20:50 Sovereign Succotash, you can talk!
20:54 Mom, Dad, she can talk!
20:56 Say it again, Lisa.
20:57 Bark!
20:58 Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark. I'm her first word.
21:02 Well, I'm not surprised.
21:04 Lisa's crazy about you.
21:06 She thinks you hung the moon.
21:08 Wow.
21:09 Lisa, can you say Mommy?
21:12 Mommy.
21:13 Can you say David Hasselhoff?
21:16 David Hasselhoff.
21:18 Can you say daddy?
21:20 Homer.
21:21 No, sweetie. Daddy.
21:24 Homer.
21:25 Don't!
21:32 I was sitting there. I don't see your name on it.
21:35 It's right there. Bart, don't write on the rug.
21:38 Ha ha, Mom yelled at you. Did not. Did too.
21:41 You know, Maggie, the sooner kids talk, the sooner they talk back.
21:46 I hope you never say a word.
21:56 Daddy.
22:15 Thank you.
22:52 Shh.

Who's in it

Bart Simpson, Homer Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson, Maggie Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Ned Flanders, Chief Wiggum, Krusty the Clown, Dr. Hibbert, Patty Bouvier, Selma Bouvier, Todd Flanders, Rod Flanders, Horatio McCallister, Itchy, Scratchy, Jacqueline Bouvier, Sideshow Bob, Drederick Tatum, Doofy, Johnny Carson, Grandma Flanders, Howard Cosell, "Certainly" Kid, Chipwich Vendor, Irish Neighbor, Italian Neighbor, Kim Hwan, Krusty Accountant 1, Krusty Accountant 2, Realtor, Rendering Plant Employee 1, Rendering Plant Employee 2, Sportscaster 1, Sportscaster 2, Stickball Kid, Swedish Boxer

Everyone who appears in it, from the Simpsons wiki. Every character