The Crepes of Wrath

The Simpsons, season 1, episode 11. First aired April 15, 1990. Every line said in it, with its time: open one for its frame, to caption it or make a GIF.

← Homer's Night Out Krusty Gets Busted → The whole episode as text

From “The Crepes of Wrath”: “Hello, Mrs. Simpson.” — Hello, Mrs. Simpson.

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About the episode

A cherry bomb Bart flushes down a school toilet blasts Agnes Skinner, so Principal Skinner ships him off on a student exchange to France. There, winemakers César and Ugolin put him to hard labor and lace their wine with antifreeze, while Albanian exchange student Adil Hoxha charms the Simpsons and spies on the power plant. Bart finally reports the pair in newly fluent French, and the FBI catches Adil.

Written by: George Meyer, Sam Simon, John Swartzwelder and Jon Vitti
Directed by: Wes Archer and Milton Gray
Chalkboard gag: Garlic gum is not funny
Couch gag: Squashed Homer
Production code: 7G13

The synopsis is our own. Credits and guest stars from Wikipedia and the Simpsons wiki.

Every line

373 lines, from the episode's subtitles. Its moments aren't described yet.

0:05 The Simpsons
1:34 Froggy, I'm home!
1:42 Hi, little fella. Got some nice juicy flies for you.
1:46 Jeez, Louise, look at this mess.
1:49 I told that boy a billion times to pick up his job.
1:52 Ah!
1:56 I like to play with you. I like to play with you.
2:01 There goes my bag again.
2:07 Don't.
2:09 Don't get help, boy.
2:11 I like to play with you.
2:13 I like to play with you. I like to play with you.
2:17 I like to play with you.
2:20 Oh, Maggie.
2:22 My poor bag.
2:23 I like to play with you.
2:33 Dad!
2:34 Homer!
2:35 What happened?
2:37 The boy. Bring me the boy.
2:40 Bart!
2:41 If you had cleaned up your room when I asked you to,
2:43 your father's trick back would still be aligned.
2:45 So you'll pick up this mess right now.
2:49 Oh, clumsy Homer.
2:51 It was always my fault.
2:54 If you just watch where you go.
2:57 Hello.
2:58 What have we here?
3:00 A cherry bomb.
3:02 I thought I blew all you guys up.
3:06 People, people, no roughhousing on the monkey bars.
3:09 You there, tuck in your shirt. Watch it.
3:11 I saw that. You certainly have done awfully well for yourself, Spanky.
3:16 Mother, please don't call me Spanky on school grounds.
3:20 Wow, a cherry bomb. What are you going to do with it, Bart?
3:23 Watch out, Bart. It's Skinner.
3:27 Good morning, Mr.
3:28 Skinner.
3:29 Morning, boys.
3:31 Why haven't you introduced me to any of your students, Spanky?
3:36 Well? Mother, I would like you to meet Millhouse, Lewis, Richard,
3:41 and Bart Simpson.
3:43 This is the Bart Simpson you're always talking about?
3:46 Mm-hmm.
3:47 But he looks so sweet.
3:49 I am, ma'am. Simpson, let's move on now, Mother, shall we?
3:53 Bye, Spanky.
3:56 So you're gonna flush it? What can I say?
3:59 I got a weakness for the classics.
4:00 I think I need to make a stop at the little girl's room.
4:04 Okay, Mother.
4:05 This way.
4:09 So long, sucker.
4:16 Now, who's it right there? Thank you. Mother?
4:20 Oh, March, I still hurt.
4:24 Bye. Marge!
4:26 Marge!
4:27 Oh, Homer, how many times do I have to fluff your pillow?
4:30 Actually, I was wondering if you could make me a grilled cheese sandwich.
4:33 Oh, okay.
4:35 Make sure it's squished flat and crunchy on the outside.
4:37 I know how you like them, Homer.
4:39 And maybe some of those little wieners that come in a can.
4:41 Oh, and some fruit cocktail in heavy syrup.
4:49 Marge!
4:53 Marge! Get the door!
4:59 Principal Skinner!
5:01 Hello, Mrs. Simpson.
5:02 I'm afraid there's been a very disturbing incident at school today.
5:05 I'm out of here, man.
5:07 Homer, Principal Skinner's here. Oh, hello, Principal Skinner.
5:11 I'd get up if the boy crippled me. I understand completely.
5:14 The disturbing incident I was referring to happened this morning when your son flushed an
5:18 explosive device down the boy's lavatory.
5:21 That old gang. Unfortunately, at the same moment,
5:23 my mother was in the girls' lavatory making use of the facilities.
5:26 Oh, dear.
5:27 Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, we have transcended incorrigible.
5:31 I don't think suspension or expulsion will do the trick.
5:33 I think it behooves us all to consider deportation.
5:37 Deportation?
5:38 You mean kick Bart out of the country?
5:41 Hear him out, Bart. Well, perhaps I was being a tad glib.
5:45 Let me explain.
5:46 Our elementary school participates in a foreign exchange program.
5:49 Now,
5:49 normally a student is selected on the basis of academic excellence or intelligence,
5:53 but in Bart's case, I'm prepared to make a big exception.
5:57 And if you're willing to play along, he can spend the next three months studying far,
6:02 far away.
6:03 Sounds great.
6:04 Although a kid can't learn much in just three months.
6:06 Homer, you didn't even ask where Bart would be going.
6:08 Actually, he'd be staying in France, in a lovely chateau in the heart of the wine country.
6:13 But Bart doesn't speak French. Oh, when he's totally immersed in a foreign language,
6:16 the average child can become fluent in weeks.
6:18 Yeah, but what about Bart? I'm sure he'll pick up enough to get by.
6:21 And the whole thing won't cost you a dime as long as you're willing to take in a student
6:25 of your own. Wait a minute, Skinner.
6:27 How do we know some principal over in France isn't pulling the same scam you are?
6:31 Well, for one thing, you wouldn't be getting a French boy.
6:34 You would be getting an Albanian. You mean all white with pink eyes?
6:37 No, no, no, no.
6:38 A student from Albania.
6:39 It's a country on the Adriatic Sea. Well,
6:42 going to France sounds like a fantastic opportunity.
6:44 But I think Bart should have a say in this.
6:47 The life of a frog That's the life for me Bart,
6:52 how would you like to spend the next three months living in France?
6:56 France?
6:57 Wow He makes me crazy 12 months a year At least you get the summer off
7:03 And I'd get to take a plane there, wouldn't I, Mom?
7:06 Yes, Bart Wow, and one back?
7:09 Well, Bart seems very enthusiastic about the idea Yes!
7:14 Baby! Oh, wait a minute.
7:16 Bon voyage, boy.
7:24 Goodbye, my special little guy. You will ride us, won't you?
7:30 All the time. What do you know about France?
7:32 I know I'm going and you're not. I'm going to miss you, son.
7:35 And listen, while you're seeing all those great sights,
7:38 always remember that you're representing your country.
7:42 I guess what I'm saying is don't mess up friends the way you messed up your room.
7:47 Okay, Dad.
7:47 Is one of you going to be on the charter flight?
7:50 Yes, sir.
7:50 Come along.
7:52 Bye, bye.
8:01 What's going on?
8:09 What do you want to talk with you? What do you want to talk with you?
8:10 Let me talk with you.
8:28 Hey, man, watch it.
8:33 Whoa.
8:34 Hey, man, it's me, Bart Simpson. Okay, kid, let's go.
8:38 Hey, little bee.
8:40 But we birds in a tree seem to do we.
8:45 La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Ooh, la, la.
8:50 How much longer, sir?
8:52 This is where we're going, right?
8:54 Chat to my son.
8:58 Ah, Maurice.
9:00 Dès que le garçon américain arrive, tes jeux d'esclavage sont finis.
9:08 Eww, what a dump.
9:14 You know, in Albania, the unit of currency is called the lek.
9:18 You gotta be kidding.
9:19 The lek. And the national flag is a two-headed eagle on a red field.
9:23 Give me the old stars and stripes.
9:25 And the main export is furious political thought.
9:28 Political what?
9:30 Flight number two, Toronto Springfield, is now arriving.
9:33 Welcome to your new home. Escape is impossible.
9:37 My name is Cesar.
9:38 This is my nephew, Hugelin.
9:40 You may find life here at the Chateau Horde.
9:42 But if you shut up and do exactly what we say, the time will pass more quickly.
9:47 He's right, you know.
9:48 Well, okay, sir.
9:53 Adieu?
9:54 Mother?
9:55 Well, I guess for the next few months, yes, I will be your mother.
10:00 And this must be Lisa and Maggie.
10:02 And you must be my new father, Homer.
10:07 Affectionate little Albanian, isn't he?
10:11 César, look, we're rich.
10:15 These are so small, but they can sell them.
10:18 Look, Maurice, a red hat for you. Hey, come on, guys.
10:22 Quit being so grabby.
10:24 Sorry, man. Be my guest.
10:27 You may find his accent peculiar.
10:29 Certain aspects of his culture may seem absurd, perhaps even offensive.
10:34 But I urge you all to give little and to you the benefit of the doubt.
10:38 In this way, and only in this way,
10:40 can we hope to better understand our backward neighbors throughout the world.
10:47 Thank you, Principal Skinner. Thank you, fellow students.
10:51 Although I have only been in your country a few days,
10:54 I have already found Americans to be most trusting.
10:59 Although officially I am required to hate you,
11:02 I want you to know I do not feel it in my heart.
11:13 Hiya, boy.
11:15 My grapes are waiting for their water.
11:20 How can you defend a country where 5% of the people control 95%
11:26 of the world?
11:27 I'm defending a country where people can think and act and worship any way they want.
11:31 Cannot. Can too. Cannot. Can too. Please, please, kids, stop fighting.
11:37 Maybe Lisa's right about America being a land of opportunity,
11:40 and maybe Adil has a point about the machinery of capitalism being oiled with the blood of
11:44 the workers. Your father is right. We should not fight.
11:48 Friends. Well, okay.
11:50 Well, now that that's settled, I'll just clear the dishes.
11:53 No, no, Mrs. Simpson.
11:54 You have been oppressed enough for today.
11:56 I will clear the dishes. Oh, okay.
12:00 Did you see that?
12:01 You know, Marge, this is the way I've always wanted it to be.
12:05 We've become a fully functioning family unit.
12:07 We've always blamed ourselves.
12:09 But I guess it's pretty clear which cylinder wasn't firing.
12:12 Homer! Your paper-thin commitment to your children sends shivers down my spine.
12:17 May I be excused? Oui, sir.
12:19 Oh, she's just jealous. She'll get over it.
12:21 And if she doesn't, we can always exchange her.
12:24 He he he he. Homer.
12:25 Just kidding.
12:27 Elle est bonne cette chanson.
12:28 Oui, très.
12:29 Passe-moi le vin. Can I have something to go with my turnip?
12:33 Quiet!
12:33 When you work like a man, we will feed you like one.
12:36 Now go to sleep.
12:43 Hey, hey.
12:44 Come on. Move it, pal.
12:46 You leave Maurice alone. The floor is good enough for you.
12:49 You've got to sleep there.
12:58 Nice and cozy, Adil?
13:00 Yes, thank you, father.
13:02 Look, Adil, you can call me dad.
13:04 All right, dad.
13:05 Aw, you called me dad.
13:08 Dad, do you think I could come visit you at the nuclear power plant?
13:12 You want to see where I work? Oh, yes, very much.
13:15 None of my biological kids ever wanted to see me at work.
13:18 Then I can go? Well, I'll have to pull a few strings with the boys in security.
13:23 But sure, you bet.
13:25 Excellent.
13:27 Now, watch me.
13:29 You grab the grape between your thumb and forefinger and gently twist it off and wrap it
13:34 in the bucket.
13:36 Now you do it.
13:38 Very good.
13:39 Now, do it a million times.
13:42 See these?
13:44 American donuts.
13:45 Glazed, powdered, and raspberry filled.
13:48 Now how's that for freedom of choice?
13:51 Dad, do you think I might see your plutonium isolation module?
13:55 Uh, maybe.
13:57 Hold on a second.
13:59 Hey, Lenny, does this place have one of those plutonium isolation deals?
14:03 Yeah, over in Sector 12.
14:04 Sector 12? Third floor, by the candy machines.
14:07 Oh, that's Sector 12.
14:09 Come along, Adeel.
14:16 Ungrateful swine! We give you food, we give you shelter, and this is how you repay us!
14:24 You little shutterbug.
14:33 Cheese!
14:37 Oh, wait a minute.
14:40 Stupid grapes.
14:42 Bunch of creeps.
14:44 I hate France.
14:49 I sure have taken a shine to little Adil.
14:51 Well, he sure makes life a lot easier around here.
14:54 You have to admit that. Well, okay, I will.
14:56 If you admit you love Bart. Okay, okay, I love Bart.
15:01 Well?
15:02 What?
15:03 Well?
15:04 Oh, Adil's a very sweet boy.
15:07 Darn tootin'.
15:23 My father have
15:25 still left me.
15:34 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
15:41 Dear Bart, how is France?
15:44 I don't know why you haven't written.
15:46 I guess you're just having too much fun.
15:48 Oh, yeah, right. Silence!
15:52 Everyone here in the United States is fine.
15:55 We think Maggie may say her first word any day now.
15:59 Lisa got an A in math, which I'm only mentioning as news.
16:03 I'm not putting you down and your father
16:06 well
16:08 Last night he went to sleep talking about how much he loves you
16:15 Remember to dress warm and try to be as helpful as you can to your adopted parents all
16:21 my love mom Oh, no.
16:28 Ah, I think it's going to be our best.
16:32 But the vin has only been fermented for three years.
16:35 I feel like my faith in the Supreme Forces are weak.
16:38 I always think of the miracle of the antifreeze.
16:41 If we eat too much, of course, it's poison.
16:44 But in the best of the ones, it gives you a lot of water.
16:49 I think you're too much.
16:50 You'll kill someone with that. You want someone?
16:54 You're crazy!
16:57 What are you doing? Get out of here!
17:00 Sorry.
17:03 On second thought, Bart.
17:05 Bart?
17:06 Come here.
17:08 Look, I promise that it won't even make it a joke.
17:13 Drink this. Oh, I know, thanks, sir. Do not worry.
17:16 This is France.
17:17 It is customary for children to take a little bite now and then.
17:21 Yeah, but it's got antifreeze in there. Drink it!
17:30 Qu'est-ce que je t'avais dit?
17:32 Maintenant, va nous chercher une caisse d'antifreeze au magasin.
17:35 Mais il peut.
17:36 Est-ce qu'on peut attendre à faire le vendement?
17:39 On en a déjà pas dû trois jours.
17:41 Allons, envoie le garçon.
17:43 Oh,
17:45 Bart.
18:08 Excusez-moi, je ne parle pas anglais. But you gotta help me.
18:12 These two guys I'm staying with, they work me day and night.
18:15 They don't feed me. They make me sleep on the...
18:17 Tiens, petit garçon. Voilà un bonbon.
18:21 I don't want a piece of candy. I need your head.
18:25 Come on, mister.
18:27 Can you help me? I'm sorry.
18:29 I'd really like to help you.
18:31 Oh, forget it.
18:32 I'm so stupid.
18:35 Anybody could have learned this dumb language by now.
18:38 Here, I've listened to nothing but French for the past two months.
18:41 And I don't know the word.
18:43 Eh!
18:45 But I'm not French now!
18:47 Incredible!
18:48 Hey, monsieur, help me! These guys have to work at night.
18:52 They don't give me a drink.
18:54 They have to sleep at night. They put the antifreeze in the water.
18:58 And they gave me my red hat to Alain. The antifreeze in the water?
19:03 Oh, but it's serious, sir. Come with me, fiston.
19:06 You're no longer afraid.
19:07 My sister, you will always have a place in my heart.
19:12 Honey, I'm home.
19:14 Oh, Homer?
19:16 What's that? Oh, just some blue prints a deal wanted.
19:18 I'm telling you, he's such a curious little dickens.
19:21 I bet he could build a nuclear power plant if he wanted to.
19:26 All right, Sparrow, we know you're in there.
19:28 We'll give you one minute to surrender. Oh, my.
19:33 Ooh, trouble in the neighborhood.
19:36 Let's check it out.
19:39 I'm his neighbor. What do you do?
19:40 Well, sir,
19:42 we've been on the trail of a spy transmitting highly confidential information to an
19:47 unfriendly nation. Ooh.
19:48 Through the use of radio triangulation, we tracked him to exactly this point.
19:53 Wow.
19:54 That's all I can tell you. All right, well,
19:56 the name of his country starts with the letter A.
19:58 Time's up, Sparrow. We're coming in after you.
20:01 Oh, gee whiz, a deal would get a kick out of seeing this.
20:05 A deal?
20:06 A sparrow.
20:07 A deal?
20:11 Oh, there you are.
20:13 Get him!
20:14 Stop!
20:19 Well, now you will be in prison. Get in the prison!
20:25 And all that because we have participated in the change of students program!
20:30 All of war, suckers!
20:48 Yes.
20:49 Sometimes I think I am getting too old for this game.
20:52 Okay, kids. Let's hurry it up. Goodbye, Simpsons.
20:55 Thank you for your hospitality.
20:57 I hope this experience will not sour you on the student exchange program.
21:03 Goodbye. Have a nice trip. Goodbye, Adil.
21:08 I'll send you those civil defense plans you wanted.
21:11 Air France flight 19-son, Paris to Springfield is now arriving.
21:18 Look, Mom!
21:20 There he is! Oh, Bart!
21:21 My baby! Hey, where's the big guy?
21:24 He means me.
21:27 Hey, boy. Hey, Homer.
21:28 He brought us gifts. His first unselfish act.
21:33 So, basically, I met one nice French person.
21:36 Bart, I have something to say that's gonna bother me if I don't say it.
21:39 It's good to see you. Same here. I love a glass of that wine Bart brought us.
21:45 Sorry, Marge, some wise guy stuck a cork in a bottle.
21:49 Oh, my bear, he'll be full.
21:51 You hear that, Marge? My boy speaks French.
22:22 Thank you.
23:03 Shh.

Who's in it

Bart Simpson, Homer Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson, Maggie Simpson, Moe Szyslak, Milhouse Van Houten, Grampa Simpson, Principal Skinner, Krusty the Clown, Lenny Leonard, Patty Bouvier, Selma Bouvier, Santa's Little Helper, Lewis Clark, Richard, Snowball II, Nina Skalka, Adrian Belew, Agnes Skinner, Becky Shorter, Sophie Jensen, Buck-toothed girl, Boy with shades, Wanda, Bleeding Gums Murphy, Smug Girl, Coward, White-Haired Girl, Freddy, Violet Bazaar, Brown-haired boy, Afro Girl, American Spy, Cesar, Ugolin, Adil Hoxha, Bart Junior, Communist General, Flight Attendant, Maurice, Mr. Hoxha, Mrs. Hoxha, Police Officer, SWAT Agent, SWAT Leader

Everyone who appears in it, from the Simpsons wiki. Every character