Krusty Gets Busted

The Simpsons, season 1, episode 12. First aired April 29, 1990. Every line said in it, with its time: open one for its frame, to caption it or make a GIF.

← The Crepes of Wrath Some Enchanted Evening → The whole episode as text

From “Krusty Gets Busted”: “And he had a big nose.” — And he had a big nose.

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About the episode

Homer sees what looks like Krusty the Clown robbing the Kwik-E-Mart, and his testimony helps convict Bart's hero. As Krusty's sidekick Sideshow Bob takes over the show, Bart and Lisa comb the store's security footage for clues that rule Krusty out, such as the robber reading a magazine although Krusty cannot read. On live television, they unmask Bob as the real robber.

Written by: Jay Kogen and Wallace Wolodarsky
Directed by: Brad Bird
Guest stars: Kelsey Grammer as Sideshow Bob
Chalkboard gag: They are laughing at me, not with me
Couch gag: Squashed Maggie
Production code: 7G12

The synopsis is our own. Credits and guest stars from Wikipedia and the Simpsons wiki.

Every line

371 lines, from the episode's subtitles. Its moments aren't described yet.

0:02 The Simpsons
1:32 Hey, kids, who do you love?
1:35 Happy!
1:36 How much do you love me? With all our hearts!
1:40 What would you do if I went off the air?
1:42 We'd kill ourselves!
1:45 What's that, Sideshow Bob?
1:47 This is Brittany and today's her birthday?
1:49 Well, happy birthday, Brittany.
1:51 How do you want to celebrate?
1:53 Do you want me to sing your birthday song?
1:55 Or do you want me to shoot Sideshow Bob out of a cannon?
2:00 The cannon! The cannon! The cannon! The cannon!
2:06 Sorry, Sideshow Bob, but it's her special birthday wish!
2:10 You're doomed, Sideshow Bob.
2:13 I know we haven't had much luck shooting you out of this cannon,
2:16 but maybe that's because we haven't used enough gunpowder.
2:23 Britney, to the honor.
2:34 Don't play me.
2:36 I didn't do it.
2:40 Comedy, thy name is Krusty.
2:42 Hey, kids, it's time for Itchy and Scratchy.
3:05 Oh, my.
3:07 All this senseless violence.
3:08 I don't understand its appeal.
3:10 We don't expect you to, Mom.
3:12 If cartoons were meant for adults, they'd put them on in prime time.
3:19 Yellow.
3:19 Hello, homie.
3:20 I was hoping you could pick up a half gallon of premium ice cream on your way home from
3:24 work. Ooh, premium ice cream. Wait a minute.
3:27 Why? Patty and Selma are coming over to show us slides from their trip to the Yucatan.
3:33 Anybody home?
3:34 Oh, I've got to go, Homer. My sisters are here.
3:39 Oh, eight carousels. We're in for a real treat.
3:45 Hello, steady customer.
3:47 How are you this evening, sir? How you doing, Appu?
3:54 Chocolate. Ooh, double chocolate.
3:58 New flavor, triple chocolate.
4:01 Perhaps a little something for the trip back to the cash register.
4:07 What's the matter, sir?
4:08 Never have I seen you look so unhappy while purchasing such a large quantity of ice cream.
4:13 The reason I look unhappy is that tonight I have to see a slideshow starring my wife's
4:18 sisters.
4:19 Or as I call them, the gruesome twosome.
4:22 Ow, my foot, you lousy, stupid... Sorry, pal.
4:29 Hand over all your money in a paper bag.
4:32 Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery.
4:34 I do work in a convenience store, you know.
4:41 You can emerge now from my chips.
4:43 The opportunity to prove yourself a hero is long gone.
4:47 This is our tour group.
4:50 This is a Mexican delicacy called a taco platter.
4:54 Mmm, delicious.
4:55 This is Selma taking a siesta.
4:58 My caramba.
5:00 And he had a big nose.
5:02 No, bigger.
5:03 And big red hair that came out to... Yeah, yeah, like that.
5:07 Well, it is a simple charcoal rendering, but is this the man?
5:11 Yeah.
5:13 Wait a minute.
5:14 It's the guy from TV.
5:16 My kid's hero.
5:17 Cruddy, crummy.
5:19 Cruddy the clown.
5:42 Hey, hey, what's going on here? I'll crush you the clown.
5:45 You're under arrest for armed robbery. You have the right to remain silent.
5:48 Anything you say, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
5:52 That's a joke.
5:54 Ready, Mr. Simpson? Yes, sir?
5:57 Send in the clowns.
6:02 So, Simpson, which one is it?
6:08 Well, if the crime is making me laugh, they're all guilty.
6:12 No, no. Which one is the robber?
6:15 Oh, definitely number...
6:18 Simpson.
6:20 Four.
6:21 And this is all the mail that awaited us upon our return.
6:25 And this is Selma dropping off our vacation film to be developed.
6:32 Thus concludes our Mexican odyssey.
6:36 Hmm.
6:37 Very thorough.
6:39 I'm home, everybody.
6:40 Oh, Woody Gumdrop. You missed the whole slideshow, Homer.
6:44 Oh, fantastic.
6:45 Marge, you're never gonna believe what happened.
6:46 I was down at the Quickie Mart, minding my own business when...
6:49 Ooh, ooh, ooh, the news!
6:53 Springfield, number one news team, with our Emmy Award-winning anchor man, Kent Brockman.
6:58 Good evening, I'm Scott Christian.
7:00 Kent Brockman is off tonight.
7:02 Why did the clown cross the road?
7:04 To rob a Quickie Mart.
7:06 The news story behind that enigmatic half-joke right after this commercial message.
7:10 Wait a minute.
7:11 Bart, you know that guy in your lunchbox?
7:13 Oh, you mean Krusty the Clown? He's sort of a hero of yours, isn't he?
7:16 Are you kidding? He's my idol. I've based my whole life on Krusty's teachings.
7:20 So, uh, maybe you'd better run off to bed.
7:22 Krusty the Clown is behind bars tonight after a daring twilight robbery of a local quickie
7:26 market. Huh!
7:27 Krusty! Oh, no!
7:31 Oh, earlier this evening,
7:32 the Springfield SWAT team apprehended the TV clown who appears on a rival station opposite
7:37 our old Emmy Award-winning Hobo Hank.
7:39 And just in.
7:41 Actual footage of the crime taken with a quickie-marked security camera.
7:45 The reason I look unhappy is that tonight I have to see a slideshow starring my wife's
7:51 sisters.
7:51 Or as I call them, the gruesome doosome.
7:55 So, the truth comes out. And over all your money in a paper bag.
8:01 Krusty, how could you?
8:03 You know it looks very bad, honey. Who knows?
8:07 Maybe it'll turn out he was innocent all along.
8:09 Earth to Marge. Earth to Marge. I was there.
8:13 The clown is G-I-L-L-T-Y.
8:24 You're my best friend.
8:26 Thanks, Krusty.
8:28 Buy my cereal.
8:36 I didn't do it.
8:39 I wish I could believe you.
8:51 Good evening again, Springfield.
8:53 Krusty the Clown, the beloved idol of countless tots,
8:57 now nothing more than a common alleged criminal.
8:59 His trial, which begins tomorrow,
9:01 has taken center ring in a national media circus as children of all ages from 8 to 80
9:07 hang on each new development like so many Romanian trapeze artists.
9:11 From his humble beginnings as a street mime in Tupelo, Mississippi,
9:14 Krusty clowned his way to the top of a personal mini empire with dozens of endorsements,
9:18 including his own line of pork products.
9:21 This may have led to one of television's best-loved bloopers,
9:23 Krusty's near-fatal on-the-air heart attack in 1986.
9:27 Wasn't that a great, itchy and scratchy cartoon, kids?
9:30 Well, we've got another one coming right up.
9:33 But first, I've got to hankering for some pork products.
9:38 Mmm, look.
9:40 Plump succulent sausage, honey-smoked bacon,
9:44 and glistening, sizzling...
9:50 I'm dying!
9:56 But a quick triple bypass and a pacemaker later, Krusty bounced back.
10:00 However, he was a changed clown.
10:03 Where his show had been condemned by parents and educators alike as simple-minded TV
10:07 mayhem,
10:08 this new Krusty devoted a small portion of every show to stamping out illiteracy in
10:13 today's Anything for a Thrill youth.
10:15 Give a hoot, read a book. Krusty's arrest has sent shockwaves through Springfield,
10:19 packing its churches, synagogues,
10:21 and mosques with disillusioned citizenry from all walks of life.
10:25 I urge every halfway decent member of our community to gather up all merchandise that
10:30 bears the likeness of Krusty, that clown prince of corruption,
10:34 and join me in a public burning!
10:37 So,
10:37 is Krusty the Clown about to trade in his baggy pants for the relatively snug uniform of
10:42 Springfield Penitentiary? We'll find out tomorrow when his trial begins.
10:52 Uh, what kind of gun did you use?
10:54 You're bleeding Saturday.
10:55 Look at him. His clothes are so drab. His face is so flesh-colored in sand.
11:01 And his feet, they're so small.
11:05 Say an insult, Krusty.
11:08 My client has no confidence in time.
11:11 I didn't do it.
11:17 Krusty the Clown, how do you plead? I plead guilty, Your Honor.
11:25 I'm not guilty.
11:26 I'm opening night jitters, Your Honor.
11:29 I would like to call to the stand Homer G.
11:32 Simpson.
11:32 Don't do it, Dad.
11:34 Please don't do it. Sorry, son. He'll understand one day.
11:37 He's innocent, I tell you. Christy would never do something like that.
11:40 Oh, come on, Dad. You've got to listen to me.
11:44 Sorry, pal.
11:47 Mr.
11:50 Simpson,
11:50 was that you taking that cowardly dive into that display of heavily salted snack treats?
11:55 Yes, sir. Do you recognize the gunman in this courtroom today?
11:59 Yes, I do.
12:00 Fine.
12:00 Would you point him out to us? Okay.
12:15 Oh, man.
12:17 Let the record show that the witness eventually pointed to Crusty the
12:22 Clown.
12:26 These toys are just adorable.
12:30 Who'd have guessed they were inspired by an insane criminal genius?
12:38 But, Dad, you're giving aunt a mob mentality.
12:41 No, I'm not. I'm hopping on the bandwagon.
12:43 Now, come on, son, get with the winning team.
12:48 Hey, right here, Christie Souvenirs. Buy them and burn them, right here.
12:51 Good people.
12:53 I'm so happy you're all here tonight.
12:55 But please, just a few words of caution.
12:57 Now, we are going to set this pile of evil ablaze.
13:01 But because these are children's toys, the fire will spread quickly.
13:05 So please stand back and try not to inhale the toxic fumes.
13:19 Grassi, would you please turn your attention to Exhibit B?
13:23 Tell me what you see.
13:25 Uh, um, which one do you mean? The one with the big B on it.
13:31 Uh, uh, uh... What's the matter? Can't you read?
13:34 No, I can't. I can't read or write. I admit it.
13:37 I'm totally illiterate. Now are you happy?
13:41 Can it be that the champion of child literacy can't even read himself?
13:45 Is it a crime to be illiterate? All right, all right.
13:48 See this, Krusty? This is a B.
13:50 And this is Exhibit B.
13:52 Betting slips obtained by this court indicating you have lost substantial sums of money on
13:57 sports gambling Is it a crime to bet on sporting events?
14:01 Yes, it is
14:07 Four person, have you reached a verdict?
14:09 Yes, we have, your honor We find the defendant, Krusty the Clown
14:15 Guilty
14:18 I knew it! This happens to me every time
14:25 My young friends, for years I have been silent,
14:29 save for the crude glissandos of this primitive wind instrument.
14:32 But now destiny has thrust me into the center ring.
14:35 In the coming weeks, you will notice some rather sweeping changes in our program.
14:39 Please do not be alarmed.
14:41 Itchy and scratchy, we'll still have a home here.
14:44 But we will also learn about nutrition, self-esteem, etiquette, and all the lively arts.
14:49 What the hell are you doing, Reese? I'm watching Sideshow Bob.
14:53 You know, he's a lot less patronizing than Krusty used to be.
14:56 You backstabber, you traitor, you... Snap out of it, Bart.
14:59 Face the facts. All those hours we spent staring at Krusty, we were staring at a crook.
15:04 Look, Lisa, I know Krusty's innocent.
15:06 Don't ask me why. It's just a feeling I have.
15:09 Oh, Bart.
15:10 Come on, Lisa.
15:11 I think I can prove Krusty's innocent, but I need your help.
15:14 You do?
15:15 Why?
15:16 Come on, Lisa, you know why. No, why?
15:19 I'll never forgive you for making me say this, but...
15:22 You're smarter than me.
15:24 Mm-hmm.
15:25 So, you with me?
15:26 Yeah, man.
15:31 Whoa!
15:32 Oh!
15:32 Okay, okay. Don't try anything funny. I'm on to the teeth.
15:39 Bart, look!
15:40 Over here on the microwave.
15:42 So? I don't have a pacemaker.
15:44 Come on, Bart. The tape showed that the robber heated up a burrito.
15:48 So?
15:49 Don't you remember the get well card we sent to Krusty?
15:51 It was after his heart attack, when he had a pacemaker put in.
15:56 Uh-huh.
15:59 Wait a minute.
16:00 Krusty can't read.
16:01 Okay, okay. So the poor guy can't read. Can't we get off his back already?
16:04 No!
16:05 Don't you get it, Bart? How could Krusty have been reading a magazine if he can't read?
16:11 Hey, hey, this is not a lending library.
16:13 If you're not going to buy that thing, put it down or I'll blow your heads off.
16:16 Bart, I'm starting to think you're right.
16:18 Krusty was framed. Did he have any enemies?
16:21 I don't know. But I know someone who would.
16:23 Krusty's best friend in the whole world.
16:25 Sideshow Bob.
16:26 A volley of musketry flamed, thundered, roared.
16:30 A profound silence followed.
16:33 Broken only by the approaching footsteps of the 3rd Brigade.
16:38 Next week, Chapter 35 of The Man in the Iron Mask.
16:42 The Death of a Titan.
16:44 Well, kids, that's our show for today.
16:47 And now, in the words of Mr. Cold Porter,
16:51 Every time we say goodbye, I die a little.
16:57 Every time we say goodbye, I wonder why a little.
17:04 Every time we say goodbye.
17:09 Goodbye.
17:11 It's a great show.
17:14 Switchboards were jammed. The kids love you.
17:16 Thanks, Ted.
17:16 I'm glad we've finally dispelled the myth that I'm too uptown for the tots.
17:20 And yet I can't help thinking about poor Krusty.
17:38 We see your face on kitchens. And water action panels.
17:41 And snow domes. This is all very exciting.
17:43 But I think we'd do well to explore the more upscale market.
17:46 For instance, Sideshow Bob limited edition prints, collector's plates,
17:50 commemorative coins.
17:53 Some kids are here to see you, Sideshow Bob.
17:55 They say it's important.
17:56 Well, we can sign these contracts tomorrow.
17:59 Certainly.
18:00 I take great pride in being able to sign my own name.
18:03 That's a good one.
18:05 Hi, Sideshow Bob. Sideshow Bob, can we ask if you...
18:08 Forgive me, children. As much as Sideshow Bob would love to chat,
18:10 he has a show starting in moments.
18:12 Here you go, three tickets. Be my guest.
18:14 Okay, but... Come, come, let's run along.
18:22 Hello, children.
18:23 Whom do you love?
18:26 Sideshow Bob!
18:27 Come on, Bart, go with the flow. How much do you love me?
18:31 With all of our hearts!
18:33 About a zillionth as much as I love Krusty.
18:35 Today's show promises to be a marvelous celebration of the human spirit.
18:39 But first, I regret to say I see a youngster who looks troubled.
18:42 What's your name, young man?
18:44 Bart Simpson, sir. Hmm.
18:46 Well,
18:46 perhaps we can shed some light on your problem in a new segment exploring pre-adolescent
18:50 turmoil.
18:51 I call it choices.
18:53 I don't think so, sir. Bart, I'm reaching out to you.
18:59 So what's on your mind, Bart?
19:01 I bet the other children don't accept you.
19:03 True side show, Bob, but that doesn't bother me.
19:05 You see, my sisters and I have been doing a little investigating,
19:08 and it looks to us like Krusty was framed.
19:12 Framed?
19:12 Well, the videotape showed that the thief used the microwave oven at the Quickie Mart,
19:17 but Krusty couldn't go near the thing, not with his pacemaker.
19:20 Well, you know, Bert, as much as I love Krusty,
19:23 he was never one to take doctor's orders too seriously.
19:26 Well, maybe.
19:28 But get this, Krusty was illiterate,
19:30 and the guy who robbed the store was reading the Springfield Review of books.
19:33 Ah, well, Bert.
19:35 The fact is you don't have to be able to read to enjoy the Springfield review of books.
19:39 Just look at these amusing caricatures of Gore Vidal and Susan Sontag.
19:43 Yeah, I guess those are kind of funny.
19:46 Bart, children, this whole sordid affair has been a shock to all of us,
19:50 but we must get on with our lives.
19:52 Let's try to remember Krusty not as a hardened criminal,
19:55 but as that lovable jester who honked his horn and parted around in his little car.
19:59 And shot you out of a cannon.
20:01 And shot me out of a cannon.
20:02 Yes, we will never forget that, will we?
20:04 Bart, open your heart. I admit I have some mighty big shoes to fill.
20:09 Big shoes to fill. Big shoes to fill.
20:12 Big shoes to fill.
20:18 Big shoes to fill. Big shoes to fill.
20:22 In ancient Greece, there was a school of thought called stoicism.
20:25 Wait a minute.
20:26 You did it.
20:28 Excuse me.
20:30 Attention, fellow children.
20:31 Krusty didn't rob that store. Sideshow Bob framed him.
20:34 And I got proof.
20:37 What a fuck, you lousy, stupid, clumsy...
20:40 See that? Krusty wore big, floppy shoes, but he's got little feet,
20:44 like all good-hearted people.
20:46 This type of bob really fills his shoes with thin, ugly things.
20:51 Kids, right? How do you figure we missed that?
20:53 Get off your dust, boys.
20:55 Get out of that studio.
20:57 Yes, I admit it.
20:58 I hated him.
21:00 His hackneyed shenanigans robbed me of my dignity for years.
21:03 I played the buffoon while he squandered a fortune on his vulgar appetites.
21:07 That's why I framed Krusty. I would have gotten away with it, too,
21:11 if it went for these meddling kids.
21:13 Take them away, boys.
21:15 Three kids as equals.
21:17 They're people, too.
21:18 They're smarter than you think.
21:20 They were smart enough to get me.
21:28 Well, we made a terrible, terrible mistake.
21:32 Uh, won't happen again. It better not, you dimwit.
21:37 Rusty, I'm mad enough to admit I was wrong, and I'm sorry I fingered you in court.
21:42 I sincerely hope that the horrible stories I heard about what goes on in prison are
21:45 exaggerated.
21:46 Well, the important thing is that I regain the trust of the children,
21:49 but there was one boy you trusted me all along.
21:53 Bart? Yes, sir?
21:54 Thank you.
22:00 Ah.
22:03 Thank you.
22:58 Shh.
23:04 Thank you.

Who's in it

Bart Simpson, Homer Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson, Maggie Simpson, Chief Wiggum, Krusty the Clown, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Kent Brockman, Patty Bouvier, Reverend Lovejoy, Selma Bouvier, Lou, Eddie, Nina Skalka, Adrian Belew, Itchy, Girl with glasses, Long-haired girl, Scratchy, Buck-toothed girl, Chuck Berger, Wanda, Coward, Roy Snyder, Sideshow Bob, The Happy Little Elves, Yendor, Bubbles, Scott Christian, Brittany, The District Attorney, Duff Beer Advertiser, News Reporter, Woman Interviewer, Bob's Aide, Bob's Merchandising Team, Foreperson, Krusty's Lawyer, Police Officer 1, Police Officer 2

Everyone who appears in it, from the Simpsons wiki. Every character