Bart Gets an F

The Simpsons, season 2, episode 1. First aired October 11, 1990. Every line said in it, with its time: open one for its frame, to caption it or make a GIF.

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From “Bart Gets an F”: “Come on, boy. I know, Dad. I should really...” — Come on, boy. I know, Dad. I should really...

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About the episode

Facing another year in the fourth grade unless he passes his next history exam, Bart gets tutoring from Martin Prince, but Martin abandons him once Bart teaches him to be cool. A prayer for more time brings a surprise snow day, and Bart studies alone. He still scores 59, until a remark about George Washington earns him the extra point he needs from Mrs. Krabappel.

Written by: David M. Stern
Directed by: David Silverman
Guest stars: Marcia Wallace as Mrs. Krabappel
Chalkboard gag: I will not encourage others to fly
Couch gag: Falling Couch
Production code: 7F03

The synopsis is our own. Credits and guest stars from Wikipedia and the Simpsons wiki.

Every line

379 lines, from the episode's subtitles. Its moments aren't described yet.

0:03 The Simpsons
0:44 big big big big
1:27 The End
1:45 I thank you.
1:47 Oh, absolutely brilliant.
1:50 There were moments I truly believed you were, Hemingway.
1:53 Bravo, Martin. Oh, please, call me Papa.
1:56 Little ketchup for your buns, Papa?
1:58 All right, class, all right. I think we have time for one more report.
2:01 Bart Simpson?
2:02 Oh.
2:03 Is your book report on Treasure Island ready?
2:06 Is it ready?
2:07 Ha, what a question.
2:08 Fellow students, prepare to be dazzled.
2:11 Well, as Mrs. Krabappel already mentioned,
2:14 the name of the book that I read was Treasure Island.
2:17 It's about these pirates.
2:20 Pirates with patches over their eyes and shiny gold teeth and green
2:26 birds on their shoulders.
2:29 Did I mention this book was written by a guy named Robert Louis Stevenson and published by
2:35 the good people at McGraw Hill?
2:37 So, in conclusion, on the Simpson scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest,
2:42 1 being the lowest, and 5 being average, I give this book a 9.
2:48 Any questions?
2:49 No? Then I'll just sit down. Bart, did you read the book?
2:53 Mrs.
2:53 Krabappel, I am insulted.
2:55 Is this a book report or a witch hunt?
2:57 Then perhaps you'd like to tell us the name of the pirate.
3:01 Blackbeard. Captain Nemo. Captain Hook. Slung John Silver.
3:04 Secret Pete. Bluebeard.
3:05 Bluebeard. Sit down, Bart. I'll see you after class.
3:10 Your grades have gotten steadily worse since the beginning of the term.
3:13 Are you aware of that? Yes, ma'am.
3:15 Are you aware that there is a major exam tomorrow on Colonial America?
3:19 Yes, ma'am. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
3:25 Yes, ma'am. Bart, you haven't been paying attention to a word I said, have you?
3:29 Yes, ma'am. Well, then what did I say? Uh, straighten up and fly ride.
3:33 Well, that was a lucky guess.
3:38 Whoa!
3:38 Take that, Granny!
3:40 Oh, hide in the closet!
3:41 Oh, no, deadly mouth balls!
3:43 Ew, Granny's kissing me! You have reached the level of ungrateful grandchild.
3:48 Try again, if you dare.
3:53 Just a couple more games and I'll hit the books.
4:06 Ha, ha, ha, ha.
4:12 Soup's on.
4:13 Hurry up or we'll get that icky skin on the top.
4:16 Ew, I hate that icky soup skin.
4:18 Okay, right after dinner, it's down to business.
4:22 Marge, could you get me another beer, please?
4:23 In a second, Homer.
4:25 Lisa has some good news. He doesn't care, Mom.
4:27 Sure I do.
4:28 I just want to have a beer while I'm caring.
4:31 Marge. Come on.
4:32 Go ahead, Lisa.
4:34 Well, okay.
4:35 I got an A on my vocabulary test.
4:38 What? You did?
4:40 Well, that's just... Oh, what a glorious day.
4:44 Lisa, hand me your paper. I'm just going to take this over to the refrigerator and...
4:48 Hmm.
4:49 Well, as long as I'm here, I might as well kill two birds with one stone.
4:52 What's the big idea? You covered up my paper.
4:55 Look at those funny little whiskers. Ooh, that reminds me.
4:58 It's Big Gorilla Week on Million Dollar Movie.
5:00 Come on, boy. I know, Dad. I should really...
5:04 Ooh, Gorilla the Conqueror, the granddaddy of them all.
5:11 Oh, well, maybe just one more hour.
5:17 It's so unfair, just because he's different.
5:21 Well, time to hit the books.
5:23 Burning the candle at both ends, eh, boy?
5:26 Go get him.
5:27 All right, okay, let's take care of some business.
5:31 Chapter 1, A Dream of Freedom On September 15,
5:35 1620, Puritan separatists from the Church of England,
5:39 some living in Holland, left Plymouth, England.
5:46 Their destination was...
5:50 Psst, Bard, come take a look at this.
5:54 No, the little tiger tries so hard.
5:58 Why does he keep failing?
6:00 Just a little dim, I guess.
6:04 Bart, honey, you're gonna miss your bus.
6:07 Uh-oh.
6:08 Hey, Bart dude. Oh, you look freaked. Hey, Otterman,
6:12 I got a big test that I am not ready for.
6:14 Could you please crash the bus or something?
6:15 Oh, sorry, little buddy. Can't do it on purpose.
6:18 But hey, maybe you'll get lucky.
6:21 Okay, no reason to panic.
6:22 Find an egghead, pump up for some answers, and boom, I'm back on Easy Street.
6:30 Look at him. I bet he didn't study again.
6:33 And now he's going to try to kiss up and get answers from us.
6:35 He's pathetic.
6:37 Good morning, girls.
6:39 Good morning, Bart.
6:40 Say, who's up for a little cram session?
6:43 I'll go first.
6:44 What was the name of the Pilgrim's boat?
6:47 The Spirit of St. Louis. And where'd they land?
6:50 Sunny Acapulco.
6:51 And why'd they leave England?
6:53 Giant rats.
6:55 Cool.
6:56 History's coming alive.
7:01 As a natural enemy, I don't know why I should care,
7:04 but the information pertaining to America's colonial period that you just received is
7:09 erroneous. So you're saying...
7:10 A blindfolded chimp with a pencil in his teeth has a better chance of passing this test
7:15 than you do. Oh, thanks for the pep talk.
7:20 All right, students.
7:21 Take one and pass the rest back.
7:23 Do you have any trouble... Think, Simpson.
7:24 Think.
7:25 Crisis brings out the best in you.
7:30 What is it, Bart?
7:31 Nothing.
7:32 Must.
7:33 Take.
7:35 Test.
7:48 What's the matter, son?
7:49 Sharp stabbing pains in my stomach.
7:53 Oh, dear. I've heard of this.
7:55 Do you feel a shooting pain in your arm?
7:57 Both arms, ma'am.
7:59 Temporary loss of vision?
8:01 Who said that?
8:02 Come closer.
8:06 Yes, dear?
8:09 Maybe one more dish.
8:11 Make a double cappuccino chocolate fudge.
8:13 Oh, your third bowl.
8:15 I think you may be on the mend.
8:16 Is there anything else I can get you? Hmm.
8:19 Perhaps the TV?
8:21 Of course.
8:22 Homer!
8:23 What?
8:24 Bring the television up.
8:26 Bart's got his vision back.
8:27 Oh!
8:28 I wish I had a more, you phlebitis.
8:32 Everyone knows you're faking it, Bart. Well, everyone better keep their mouth shut.
8:36 You're gonna have to fail that history test sooner or later.
8:38 I've got my bases covered.
8:42 Hey, Milhouse, what'd I miss in school today?
8:44 Nothing much. Lewis made Richard laugh milk through his nose.
8:47 Oh, you don't say. What about that history test, huh?
8:49 Piece of cake, huh?
8:51 Well, listen, what'd you get for number one?
8:53 Uh-huh.
8:54 Number two?
8:55 Oh, yeah, that seems right.
9:00 Here you go, Mrs. Krabappel. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
9:09 But this test is worse than Milhouse's exam.
9:12 Bart Simpson, I warned you, this is the final straw.
9:16 Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, I think you know our district psychiatrist, Dr.
9:20 J. Lauren Pryor. Hey, Dr. J.
9:23 I think what we have on our hands here is a classic case of what laymen refer to as fear
9:28 of failure.
9:29 As a result, Bart is an underachiever, and yet he seems to be...
9:34 How should I put this?
9:36 Proud of it?
9:38 One of his problems may be his short attention span, which can lead to...
9:42 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
9:44 Uh-huh. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
9:49 Bart has failed his last four exams in history.
9:52 Is there anything you're not telling us?
9:54 No. Every other student in the class has shown at least some form of improvement,
9:58 and yet you continue to struggle. Why is that?
10:01 I don't know.
10:02 Look at these results.
10:04 55, 42, 26, a 12 on state capitals. Okay, okay.
10:10 Why are we dancing around the obvious? I know it, you know it, I am dumb, okay?
10:14 Dumb as opposed. Think I'm happy about it?
10:15 There, there, Bart.
10:17 You're just a late bloomer. Oh, I wish it were that simple.
10:20 As shameful and as emotionally crippling as it may be,
10:23 I'm afraid my recommendation is for Bart Simpson to repeat the fourth grade.
10:28 What? You can't hold me back. I'll do better.
10:30 I promise. Oh, sure. That'll be the day.
10:33 Well, maybe it would help him to be left back.
10:36 It won't be so bad, Bart. No, I mean it.
10:39 He can't hold me back. I swear I'm going to do better.
10:42 Look at my eyes. See the sincerity?
10:44 See the conviction? See the fear? As God is my witness, I can pass the fourth grade!
10:50 And if you don't, at least you'll be bigger than the other kids.
10:56 Get off the bus and forever hold your peace, little dudes.
11:00 Otto, you know I respect you. I mean,
11:03 you always let us throw stuff at cars and try to tip the bus on sharp turns.
11:07 Damn thing's over, does it?
11:09 So what's in your head, little man? Well, I've been failing a lot of tests recently.
11:14 Uh-huh.
11:14 And now they're talking about holding me back in the fourth grade if I don't shape up.
11:19 That's it?
11:20 Hey, relax, man. It could end up being the best thing that ever happened to you.
11:24 I got held back in the fourth grade myself.
11:27 Twice.
11:28 Look at me, man.
11:29 Now I drive the school bus.
11:35 I'm afraid my recommendation is for Bart Simpson to repeat the fourth grade.
11:39 Repeat the fourth grade. Repeat the fourth grade.
11:43 All right, class. The topic is world literature.
11:47 What was the pirate's name in Treasure Island?
11:51 Bart Simpson?
11:52 Look, lady, I got a peptic ulcer, a wife hawking me for a new car,
11:57 and I need a root canal.
11:59 Will you quit bugging me about the stupid pirate?
12:01 Psst, long John Silver, Dad. I heard that, Bart Jr.
12:05 I want to see both of you after class today.
12:08 Oh, thanks a lot, son.
12:15 Yo, little help.
12:17 I said little help.
12:19 Throw me the ball, Poindexter. Oh, I'm sorry, Bart.
12:23 I'm unfamiliar with the rules of your sport.
12:25 I didn't want to interfere with a ball in play.
12:31 Well, back to the forecastle of the Pequod.
12:34 Hmm.
12:35 Hey, Martin. You have your ball. I have nothing else of value.
12:39 I need you to help me get a passing grade.
12:41 Well, you do need someone's help to get a passing grade,
12:45 but I don't know why that someone should be me.
12:48 Because I can make it so the other kids don't laugh at you so much.
12:51 They laugh at me?
12:54 I'd always considered myself rather popular.
12:57 You're not. Watch.
13:02 But my speed with numbers, My years of service as a hall monitor?
13:08 My prize-winning dioramas?
13:11 These things mean nothing to them? Perhaps another demonstration.
13:17 Very well. You have made your point, Bart.
13:19 Then it's a deal?
13:21 Yes.
13:22 All righty, let's have a look-see at your study area.
13:26 Study area? Yes, your sanctuary from the hurly-burly of modern life.
13:30 Well, there's a desk under that junk over there.
13:33 Oh, no, no, no, no, this won't do at all.
13:36 We're going to have to clean up this room, and we'll clearly need a few ferns in here.
13:40 No study area is complete without adequate plant life.
13:45 No.
13:47 Only geeks sit in the front seat. From now on, you sit in the back row.
13:50 And that's not just on the bus. It goes for school and church, too.
13:54 Why?
13:55 So no one can see what you're doing.
13:57 Oh, I think I understand.
13:59 The potential for mischief varies inversely with one's proximity to the authority figure.
14:05 Oh, yeah, but don't say it like that.
14:46 Pretty soon you will be ready to try it with a real book.
14:53 Who would have thought that pushing a boy into the girls' laboratory could be such a
14:57 thrill? The screams, the humiliation, the fact that it wasn't me.
15:02 I've never felt so alive. Great, Martin.
15:05 Now, big test is tomorrow, and I haven't even started yet.
15:07 Who cares about some test? Life's too short for tests.
15:11 Hey, I thought we had a deal.
15:13 The Martin Prince you made a deal with no longer exists.
15:17 Come on, fellows, to the arcade.
15:19 To the Martin.
15:20 All right, Martin.
15:21 Martin.
15:30 Bart, it's past your bedtime.
15:34 Okay.
15:36 This is hopeless.
15:38 Oh.
15:40 Well, old-timer, I guess this is the end of the road.
15:44 I know I haven't always been a good kid, but if I have to go to school tomorrow,
15:48 I'll fail the test and be held back.
15:51 I just need one more day to study, Lord.
15:54 I need your help. Prayer, the last refuge of a scoundrel.
15:58 A teacher strike, a power failure, a blizzard, anything that'll cancel school tomorrow.
16:04 I know it's asking a lot, but if anyone can do it, you can.
16:09 Thanking you in advance, your pal, Bart Simpson.
16:19 Hallelujah!
16:21 Hallelujah! Hanyaloryum!
16:23 Hanyaloryum!
16:32 Wake up, Bart!
16:33 Rise and shine, little guy! Time to wake up!
16:37 Oh no, no!
16:39 Wake up and look at the snow!
16:41 Whoa!
16:42 Good morning, world!
16:45 Rise and shine!
16:46 Bring to the pints! It's the Bill and Marty Show!
16:49 He's Bill! He's Marty! Two grown men who can't get enough of each other.
16:53 And it looks like we've got some snow formation for all those flake lovers out there.
16:57 Springfield Electric, gas and water plants are closed for the day.
17:00 Oh, now don't forget the nuclear power plant, Bill.
17:02 Let's be closed, too.
17:04 Woo-hoo! All right! Now, for all you youngsters, you toddlers,
17:08 this is what you've been waiting for.
17:10 Springfield County Schools are... I can't read it.
17:13 I'm too excited. Uh-oh.
17:15 Springfield County Schools will be closed.
17:18 Come on!
17:19 Woo-hoo-hoo!
17:23 Wait! Come back! You're off! You're supposed to eat breakfast!
17:26 We're in the theologians!
17:28 Cowabunga!
17:29 Remember to take a break if your arms go numb.
17:32 Hey, I heard you last night, Bart.
17:34 You prayed for this. Now your prayers have been answered.
17:38 I'm no theologian. I don't know who or what God is exactly.
17:42 All I know is he's a force more powerful than Mom and Dad put together,
17:45 and you owe him big.
17:48 You're right.
17:49 I asked for a miracle and I got it.
17:51 I gotta study, man.
17:58 I'm not missing anything.
17:59 Frozen earlobes.
18:01 Trudging up that stupid sled hill over and over again.
18:03 How good could it be?
18:19 I haven't had this much fun in years.
18:22 Got you, Burnsy.
18:24 Why, you young ragamuffin, I was never one to back away from a snowball fight.
18:29 Smithers, you may fire at will. Certainly, sir.
18:36 I hereby declare this day to be Snow Day,
18:40 the funnest day in the history of Springfield.
18:45 I'm a dream, are you listening?
18:49 In the lane, snow is wasting.
18:53 A beautiful sight, we're having a good night,
18:56 walking in a winter wonderland.
19:00 Run away, is your blooper, here is your hands!
19:08 Gotta study, gotta study, gotta study!
19:14 Chapter 6. Four days in Philadelphia.
19:17 First Continental Congress faced a difficult job.
19:20 Could the delegates agree on recommendations that all Americans could support?
19:24 We hold these truths to be self-evident.
19:31 That all men are created equal. That all men are created equal.
19:34 That from that equal creation they derive rights, inherit and inalienable.
19:38 Hey, look everybody.
19:39 It's snowing. In the middle of July? It's a miracle.
19:44 Fellas, I've invented something fun.
19:46 The sled.
19:50 Hey, look everybody.
19:52 John Hancock's writing his name in the snow.
19:59 Do you want to be held back great?
20:01 Content great, man.
20:12 Later, Mrs. K.
20:17 Please turn in your exam, Bart.
20:19 Class is over.
20:22 You think you could grade it now, please?
20:24 Well, all right.
20:25 Let me get old red.
20:32 Mm-hmm.
20:33 Well, Bart, it's a 59. That's another F.
20:36 Oh, no.
20:37 I can't believe it.
20:39 I know, I know. Another year together. Oh, it's gonna be hell.
20:49 Well, what's the matter?
20:51 Well, I would think you'd be used to failing by now.
20:54 No, you don't understand.
20:56 I really tried this time. I mean, I really tried.
21:00 There, there.
21:01 This is as good as I can do, and I still failed.
21:05 Well, 59, it's a high F. Who am I kidding?
21:09 I really am a failure.
21:12 Oh,
21:14 now I know how George Washington felt when he surrendered for necessity to the French in
21:18 1754.
21:19 What?
21:20 Oh, you know 1754, the famous defeat to the French.
21:24 My God, Bert, you're right.
21:26 So? You just demonstrated applied knowledge.
21:29 And due to the difficulty and relative obscurity of the reference,
21:33 you deserve an extra point on your exam.
21:35 Hey, it's only fair.
21:36 You mean I passed? Just barely.
21:40 I passed! I got a D-!
21:42 I passed! All right!
21:46 I passed! I passed! I passed! I passed! I got a D-!
21:49 I passed! I got a D-!
21:53 I passed! I passed! I passed!
21:55 I...
21:56 Kiss the teacher!
22:05 We're proud of you, boy. Thanks, Dad.
22:08 A part of this D- belongs to God.
22:30 We'll be right back.
22:58 Shh.

Who's in it

Bart Simpson, Homer Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson, Maggie Simpson, Moe Szyslak, Milhouse Van Houten, Grampa Simpson, Principal Skinner, Barney Gumble, Chief Wiggum, Krusty the Clown, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Mrs. Krabappel, Mr. Burns, Waylon Smithers, Nelson Muntz, Otto Mann, Jasper Beardsley, Martin Prince, Ralph Wiggum, Patty Bouvier, Reverend Lovejoy, Selma Bouvier, Santa's Little Helper, Lewis Clark, Wendell Borton, Richard, Jimbo Jones, Snowball II, Mayor Quimby, Nina Skalka, Helen Lovejoy, Adrian Belew, Becky Shorter, Sophie Jensen, Itchy, Long-haired girl, Jaffee Ziswhisky, Buck-toothed boy, Scratchy, Buck-toothed girl, Lewis' lookalike, Boy with shades, Black Weasel, Yellow Weasel, Wanda, Bleeding Gums Murphy, Smug Girl, Princess Kashmir, Coward, Freddy, Sherri and Terri, Springfield bears, Violet Bazaar, Sideshow Bob, The Happy Little Elves, Yendor, Jacques, Jebediah Springfield, J. Loren Pryor, Marty, George Washington, Ms. Mellon, Benjamin Franklin, Howard, Daria, Ms. Phipps, Cowboy Bob, Ian, Long John Silver, Robert Goulet, Bart Simpson Jr., Captain Hook, Deadly Mothballs, Evil Grandma, Gorilla the Conqueror, John Adams, Roger Sherman, Samuel Chase, Snow Mom, Ungrateful Grandson

Everyone who appears in it, from the Simpsons wiki. Every character