Bart the Daredevil

The Simpsons, season 2, episode 8. First aired December 6, 1990. Every line said in it, with its time: open one for its frame, to caption it or make a GIF.

← Bart vs. Thanksgiving Itchy & Scratchy & Marge → The whole episode as text

From “Bart the Daredevil”: “Oh, good. Unfinished. This shouldn't take long.” — Oh, good. Unfinished. This shouldn't take long.

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About the episode

After Lisa's recital, the family hurries to a monster truck rally where Truck-o-Saurus crushes their car and daredevil Lance Murdock is badly hurt. Inspired, Bart takes up skateboard stunts, brushes off Dr. Hibbert's warnings and announces he will jump Springfield Gorge. To show him the danger, Homer decides to make the jump himself and, even after Bart backs down, rolls down the ramp and plunges into the gorge.

Written by: Jay Kogen and Wallace Wolodarsky
Directed by: Wes Archer
Chalkboard gag: I will not drive the principal's car.
Couch gag: Tipping Sidewards Couch couch gag, Squashed Maggie couch gag (VHS Version on Quebec), Normal couch gag (VHS Version), Egyptian Dance couch gag (VHS Version on the UK)
Production code: 7F06

The synopsis is our own. Credits and guest stars from Wikipedia and the Simpsons wiki.

Every line

291 lines, from the episode's subtitles. Its moments aren't described yet.

0:05 The Simpsons
0:30 Let's go.
1:13 MIRROR
1:26 Live from the Springfield Center for the Performing Arts,
1:29 the wrestling match of the century.
1:32 Today, Rasputin, the friendly Russian. Whoa, didn't he used to be the mad Russian?
1:36 Yes, but I'm afraid the forces of history have changed wrestling, perhaps forever.
1:40 And the challenger from the University of Heidelberg, Professor Bernabé Brom.
1:45 That's Brom with a W.
1:46 Two titans at the height of their careers.
1:49 Oh, if you ask me, this is going to be one hell of a match.
1:52 Oh, Bart, I hope you're not taking this seriously.
1:55 Even a five-year-old knows that this is as choreographed as any ballet.
1:59 I think Rasputin's got the reach, but on the other hand,
2:02 the professor's got his patented cobalock.
2:04 If you ask me, this is going to be one hell of a match.
2:07 Oh, look at that show. Who kisses his own muscles?
2:13 Rasputin is spinning the professor like an auto-gyro.
2:16 That's got to be disoriented.
2:18 Hey, Milhouse, crank it up.
2:23 Hey, that's my seat. Correction, was your seat.
2:26 But I only got up to go to the camp. Hey, I don't see your name in Grey Running Barstool.
2:32 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7,
2:38 8, 9!
2:39 The ref is issuing a warning to Rasputin.
2:45 Oh, my, oh, my!
2:47 Why is the referee permitting this?
2:58 This Saturday, for one night only, your life will be changed forever.
3:02 Saturday. Saturday. Saturday at the Springfield Speedway.
3:05 Speedway. Speedway. Don Crusher Woodard.
3:07 Don the Skunk Treme.
3:08 And the team from Alatsu Dirt Riding Duck Masters in the year's biggest Monster Truck
3:12 Rally.
3:13 One night only. Fluffy Amazing. The Astounding.
3:15 The Unbelievable.
3:17 Truckasaurus. 20 tons and four stories of car-crunching, fire-breathing,
3:21 prehistoric insanity.
3:24 Whoa!
3:25 One night only. One night only. One night only at the Springfield Speedway this Saturday.
3:29 If you miss this, you'd better be dead or in jail.
3:31 And if you're in jail, break out.
3:34 Be there! Be there! Be there!
3:46 Crocassaurus!
3:52 I have an announcement to make. As a family growth thing,
3:56 Bart and I think we should all go to the monster truck rally this Saturday.
4:00 Aren't you forgetting something?
4:02 Uh, monster truck rally.
4:05 Growth thing. No, I don't think so. Lisa's recital is Saturday night.
4:09 I'll be playing my first solo.
4:11 If you miss it on Saturday,
4:12 I'd advise you to start looking for a child therapist on Sunday.
4:15 But Truckasaurus is one night only. So cruel fate.
4:19 Why do you mock me?
4:22 Now, come on, you two.
4:24 What time does your little truck game start?
4:27 Eight o'clock. But what does it matter? Well, Lisa's recital starts at five o'clock.
4:32 We can go to both.
4:33 Mark, you're a genius.
4:36 People, let's have good assembly manners, please.
4:39 People, people.
4:42 Quiet down now, please.
4:43 Don't make me flick the lights on and off.
4:46 Thank you.
4:47 Ladies, gentlemen, parents, and music lovers,
4:50 welcome to the first in a series of Saturday evening concerts.
4:54 Series?
4:55 Oh.
4:55 Tonight, Schubert's... Schubert's Unfinished Symphony.
5:00 Oh, good. Unfinished. This shouldn't take long.
5:03 Remember, children, stay together.
5:05 Five, six, seven, eight.
5:31 That was beautiful.
5:33 Can we go now? Sit down.
5:39 How much longer was Sherbert planning on making this piece of junk?
5:44 Oh, my. Lisa was wonderful. She's certainly come a long way with her fingering.
5:48 Thanks, Flanders.
5:50 Big know-it-all. When's Todd solo, Dad?
5:53 Shh.
5:53 It's coming up, son. It's coming up.
6:08 My son.
6:11 Come on, Flanders. He's not that bad.
6:26 Thank you.
6:49 I reached them. I'm gonna drive defensively.
6:53 Sometimes the best defense is a good offense.
6:55 Faster, Dad. Truckasaurus awaits.
7:01 Damn, no spots. Oh, I think there's one over there.
7:13 Dad? Not now, Lisa.
7:17 Run!
7:19 Dracosaurus!
7:20 Where? Where?
7:41 Pull!
7:42 Pull, you dogs!
7:45 Well, let's see here.
7:47 Windshield, melted bumpers, punctured radiator, teeth marks in the trunk.
7:52 On the plus side, there doesn't seem to be any frame damage.
7:55 This check should take care of everything.
7:57 Thank you so much. Mrs. Simpson, I'm Leo G.
8:01 Clark, inventor, owner, and operator of Truckasaurus.
8:04 Let me just say that Truckasaurus feels very badly about what happened.
8:08 And everyone here at Team Truckasaurus would like you to enjoy this half bottle of
8:12 domestic champagne for being such good sports.
8:15 Well, thank you.
8:17 Gee, everyone's so nice here at the Monster Truck Rally.
8:20 Look, Homer, champagne.
8:26 Now, Majestic Undercoating is proud to present Ms.
8:30 Monster.
8:32 Wow, a woman mudpole driver.
8:35 Another barrier broken. Right on, sister!
8:39 Let the destruction begin!
8:42 Hey, they forgot my corn dog! Give me some nachos, homersaurus.
8:46 Here you go, Bartasaurus.
8:50 For our last event of the evening, we have a special surprise guest.
8:54 The world's greatest daredevil, the man who's no stranger to danger.
8:58 If he's not in action, he's in traction, Captain Lance Murdoch!
9:06 Ladies and gentlemen, and especially little children,
9:10 I'm glad you're all here to witness what may very well be my grisly death.
9:15 Tonight, my most dangerous stunt,
9:18 I will deftify both nature and gravity by leaping over this tank of water,
9:23 filled with many great white sharks, deadly electric eels,
9:29 ravenous ferrots, bone-crushing alligators, and perhaps most frightening of all,
9:34 the king of the jungle, one ferocious lion.
9:41 I almost forgot to add a real element of danger,
9:46 one drop of human blood.
9:52 You know, kids, I don't survive.
9:54 Let me just say, seatbelts save lives, so buckle up.
10:03 This is so cool.
10:11 Do it, Kenwoods.
10:20 He made it!
10:36 He's okay, boys.
11:04 Fight!
11:10 Art.
11:13 We're home, son.
11:17 Dad, I wanna be a daredevil.
11:19 Kids say such stupid things.
11:26 You're crazy, Bart. You're never gonna make it.
11:29 Spare me your lectures, ladies.
11:39 Oh, no, he's hurt. Bad.
11:41 Let's get out of here.
11:53 Oh, my little boy.
11:56 Come on, Marge. We're mad at him. Are you all right?
11:59 Better than all right. I got stitches.
12:02 Ew. Probably a scar, too.
12:05 Mrs. Simpson, Bart tells me he injured himself training for a career in death defiance.
12:10 Yes, well, we saw a daredevil last night, and, well, you know, monkey see, monkey do.
12:15 Hmm, I think I know something that might discourage him from this sort of behavior.
12:20 Bart,
12:21 in this ward are the children who have been hurt by imitating stunts they saw on television,
12:25 movies, and the legitimate stage.
12:29 This little boy broke his leg Trying to fly like Superman
12:35 This boy's brother hit him in the head with a wrench Mimicking a recent TV wrestling match
12:41 I won't even subject you to the horrors of our Three Stooges Ward Gee,
12:46 I never realized TV was such a dangerous influence Well,
12:49 as tragic as all this is It's a small price to pay for countless hours of top-notch
12:55 entertainment Amen Well, Bart, has Dr. Hibbert made his point?
12:58 He certainly has, Dad.
12:59 I learned a real lesson here today. Thank you, Dr.
13:02 Hibbert.
13:14 I did it. Wow!
13:16 All right!
13:19 Cool!
13:20 What are you happening, Bart?
13:22 Awesome! Aw, man, you're the king! That was so cool!
13:25 Thank you. How about a hand for these brave little animals?
13:32 Uh-huh. Huh? Oh.
13:34 Hi, kid.
13:36 Thanks.
13:37 Okay, field troopers. Off the bus.
13:41 What's the matter, Bart? Oh, I'm running on empty millhouse.
13:45 You kids get a kick out on my jumps and I love you for it, but it's all too easy.
13:50 There has got to be a challenge out there worthy of me.
13:54 Hello, children, and welcome to Springfield Gorge.
13:57 Wow!
13:59 Man, this thing's pretty gnarly.
14:01 I bet you could throw a dead body in there and no one would ever find it.
14:05 Otto, I'm going to leap over Springfield Gorge on my skateboard.
14:09 You know, Bart, as the only adult here, I feel I should say something.
14:14 What?
14:15 Cool!
14:27 Hey, Otto, can I use that microphone?
14:32 Sorry, Bart dude.
14:33 It's for emergencies only.
14:36 But I want to tell him about my jump. Oh, okay.
14:40 May I have your attention, please?
14:42 This Saturday I'll be jumping over Springfield Gorge on my skateboard.
14:45 There's a good possibility I will plunge to my bloody death.
14:49 Hope to see you there.
14:50 Thank you.
14:52 Springfield Gorge?
14:53 Bart, you'll be killed! Lisa, I don't know how to explain this,
14:57 but I get the same thrill out of jumping over stuff that you do from reading.
15:03 Please, before you do anything, there's someone I'd like you to talk to.
15:07 Thank you for arranging this, Dr. Hibbert.
15:10 Oh, anything I can do to stem the tide of entertainment-related injury.
15:14 Now, children, you're about to meet the world's greatest daredevil, Lance Murdoch.
15:18 Lance, this is Lisa.
15:20 Bart Simpson.
15:21 Bart is one of your biggest fans. It's an honor, Lance.
15:25 How you feeling?
15:28 Ow!
15:29 Doc, I heard a snap.
15:31 Hmm.
15:32 I'm afraid the bone's broken.
15:34 Well, that's all of them. Don't worry, partner.
15:36 I've broken that thumb dozens of times.
15:38 Hey, I'll bet you'd like an autograph, Durst.
15:41 Who should I make this out to? Just Bart will be fine, sir.
15:44 Cool, Bart.
15:46 Thanks for visiting me at Springfield General
15:51 Hospital.
15:54 Your visit was a ray of sunshine on an
16:00 otherwise cloudy day.
16:03 Your pal, Captain Lance Murdock. Wow, man.
16:09 Thanks, Lance.
16:10 You're welcome, please.
16:11 Take this thing out of my mouth now. Mr.
16:13 Murdoch, my brother is thinking about jumping Springfield Gorge on a skateboard.
16:18 Could you leave me with the youngins, please?
16:21 Now, let me start by saying, good for you, son.
16:25 It's always good to see young people taking an interest in danger.
16:28 Now, a lot of people are going to be telling you you're crazy, and maybe they're right.
16:31 But the fact of the matter is, bones heal, chicks dig scars,
16:35 and the United States of America has the best doctor-to-dare-devil ratio in the world.
16:41 But Captain Murdoch!
16:43 You're welcome, little partner.
16:44 On your way out, tell the nurse I'm ready for my sponge bath.
16:47 Another fringe benefit.
16:49 Nurse?
16:50 Springfield Gorge? I thought we'd settle this daredevil junk.
16:54 Squealer. I'm sorry, Bart, but if you got hurt or died,
16:58 despite the extra detention I'd receive, I'd miss you.
17:01 Bart, I forbid you to jump over that gorge.
17:04 You can't. I can and do. Go to your room, Bart.
17:07 There, I've done it.
17:08 I'm glad somebody finally stepped in and put an end to this nonsense once and for all.
17:12 Hey, man, you can tell me not to do it,
17:15 but there's no way you can watch me 24 hours a day.
17:17 And the minute your back is turned, I'm grabbing my skateboard and heading for that gorge.
17:22 He's gone as smart. There's nothing we can do.
17:26 He's as good as dead.
17:28 You're his father. You've got to try and reason with him.
17:32 No, that never works. He's a goner.
17:35 Come on, Homer. A heart-to-heart talk with your son.
17:38 You've got to try.
17:41 Okay, okay, I'll try.
17:44 Bart?
17:46 Bart! What are you doing? Nothing. You were on your way to jump the gorge, weren't you?
17:51 Maybe. Look, I know I can't stop you.
17:54 The only thing I can do is ask you to promise me you won't jump the gorge.
17:59 Okay, I promise.
18:00 Don't! What's the matter? You didn't mean that!
18:04 Bart, this isn't one of those phony baloney promises I don't expect you to keep.
18:07 If you make this promise, you have to keep it.
18:11 Why?
18:12 Because if you don't, I'll never believe anything you say ever again.
18:16 Aw, come on.
18:17 I mean it, boy.
18:19 Well, okay, Dad. I promise.
18:22 I will not jump Springfield Gorge. That's my boy.
18:26 How'd it go, Homer? You know, Marge, we got a pretty good kid there.
18:31 Well, he's got a pretty good father.
18:39 Where is he? I thought he said noon. Aw, he's just doing this to build a suspense.
18:44 Whoa, what a showman.
18:46 Look, there he is.
18:56 Hey, boy, want a toast to you?
19:00 Why, that little liar?
19:02 I shut up.
19:03 I was going to play pickle with him.
19:05 All right.
19:37 Hey, what gives?
19:39 Boy, I tried ordering you, I tried punishing you, and God help me,
19:43 I even tried reasoning with you,
19:45 and the only thing left for me to do is jump the gorge myself.
19:48 What? Why?
19:49 Because that way you'll see what it's like to witness a family member stupidly risking his
19:54 life for no good reason.
19:56 But, Dad, you'll never make it. Don't you think I know that?
20:03 Goodbye, son.
20:05 Wait, Dad, don't do it! I won't jump anymore.
20:08 I promise. Oh, thank God. Thank God. Thank God.
20:13 I love you, Dad.
20:14 I love you too, son.
20:15 You know, boy, I don't think I've ever felt as close to you as I do right...
20:20 Huh?
20:21 What?
20:26 Ah! Ah!
20:29 I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna make it! This is the greatest thrill of my life!
20:33 I'm king of the world!
20:34 Woo-hoo!
21:17 You think you got guts? Try raising my kids.
22:08 Thank you.
22:41 Oh, you're going to say it. Shh.

Who's in it

Bart Simpson, Homer Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson, Maggie Simpson, Moe Szyslak, Barney Gumble, Milhouse Van Houten, Krusty the Clown, Principal Skinner, Ned Flanders, Dr. Hibbert, Waylon Smithers, Otto Mann, Nelson Muntz, Santa's Little Helper, Lewis Clark, Wendell Borton, Richard, Todd Flanders, Snowball II, Rod Flanders, Larry Dalrymple, Nina Skalka, Janey Powell, Sam, Adrian Belew, Becky Shorter, Scratchy, Sophie Jensen, Buck-toothed boy, Girl with glasses, Dewey Largo, Long-haired girl, Lewis' lookalike, Buck-toothed girl, Chuck Berger, Boy with shades, Bleeding Gums Murphy, Wanda, Coward, Freddy, Springfield bears, Sherri and Terri, White-Haired Girl, Violet Bazaar, Space Mutants, Brown-haired boy, Afro Girl, Lance Murdock, Fred, The Three Stooges, Brittany, Leo G Clark, Professor Werner von Brawn, Rasputin the Friendly Russian, Truckasaurus

Everyone who appears in it, from the Simpsons wiki. Every character