Another Simpsons Clip Show

The Simpsons, season 6, episode 3. First aired September 25, 1994. Every line said in it, with its time: open one for its frame, to caption it or make a GIF.

← Lisa's Rival Itchy & Scratchy Land → The whole episode as text

From “Another Simpsons Clip Show”: “Hmm.” — Hmm.

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About the episode

Prompted by The Bridges of Madison County, Marge worries that her marriage to Homer has lost its spark and gathers the family to talk about love. Their stories, shown through clips of earlier episodes, keep circling back to heartbreak and near-affairs, from Jacques and Mindy Simmons to Ralph Wiggum and Laura Powers. Homer finally lifts the mood by recalling how he first won Marge over in high school.

Written by: Jon Vitti
Directed by: David Silverman
Chalkboard gag: I will not use abbrev
Couch gag: Monty Python's Flying Circus Foot
Production code: 2F33

The synopsis is our own. Credits and guest stars from Wikipedia and the Simpsons wiki.

Every line

346 lines, from the episode's subtitles. Its moments aren't described yet.

0:03 The Simpsons
0:38 This romance is so full of heartfelt passion.
0:41 I can really identify with this corn-fed heroine.
0:45 Homer, Homer, are you awake?
0:47 This is important. Give me some sign you're awake.
0:51 Wake up!
0:52 Hey, what's wrong?
0:53 I'm just running away.
0:55 Jog's on fire.
0:56 Homie, do you think that the romance has gone out of our lives?
1:00 Wake up!
1:02 What?
1:02 Orange, it's 3 a.m. and I worked all day.
1:05 It's 9.30 p.m. and you spent your whole Saturday drinking beer in Maggie's kiddie pool.
1:11 There you are.
1:13 Thought you could get away, huh?
1:15 Well,
1:16 my young people learn about love from adults and we've been setting a terrible example for
1:20 our children and the community in general.
1:22 I want us to deal with the issues raised by this book.
1:25 Hmm.
1:30 I knew we shouldn't have put a fireplace in the bedroom.
2:05 How many times can you laugh at that cat getting hit by the moon?
2:08 It's a new episode.
2:10 Not exactly. They pieced it together from old shows,
2:13 and it seems new to the trusting eyes of impressionable youth.
2:16 Really?
2:17 Ren and Stimpy do it all the time. Yes, they do.
2:20 And when was the last time you heard anyone talk about Ren and Stimpy?
2:24 Children, your father and I have fed you and clothed you,
2:27 but we've neglected something more important.
2:30 It's time to learn about love.
2:32 No need, Mom. We already learned in school.
2:35 This is Fuzzy Bunny.
2:36 About a year ago, he noticed his voice was changing.
2:40 He had terrible acne and had fur where there was no fur before.
2:44 He also noticed Fluffy Bunny.
2:47 Boring.
2:49 Fuzzy went to the park, the ice cream social, the boat show,
2:54 and various other wholesome activities.
2:56 And they never ruined their fun by giving in to their throbbing biological urges.
3:02 Then came the big day.
3:04 Fluffy and Fuzzy got married.
3:06 That night came the honeymoon.
3:11 She's faking it. I mean romance, not love.
3:16 Mom, romance is dead.
3:17 It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized,
3:21 then sold off piece by piece. That's not true.
3:24 Romance is all around us, in our neighborhoods
3:29 Even at our jobs
3:40 All you have to do is think about your most cherished memories
3:46 Most haven't Hello, is Al there?
3:49 Al? Yeah, Al, last name Kaholic Let me check Phone call for Al.
3:56 Alcoholic. Uh, Jacques Strapp.
3:58 Is IP freely here? Hey, is there a butts here?
4:03 Seymour butts.
4:04 Uh, homosexual.
4:07 My crotch. Uh, Amanda Hug and Kiss. Uh, Hugh Jazz.
4:11 Ivana Tinko. I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt.
4:16 And my butt smells.
4:17 And I like to kiss my own butt. No, no, no.
4:21 No, ask your heart.
4:23 what its fondest desire is.
4:27 Mmm.
4:28 Chocolate.
4:30 Mmm.
4:31 Invisible cola.
4:33 Mmm.
4:34 Forbidden donut.
4:36 Mmm.
4:38 Sacri-licious. Mmm.
4:41 Snout.
4:42 Mmm.
4:43 Free goo.
4:44 Mmm.
4:45 Something.
4:47 No, think about people.
4:49 About moments in your life that have been very romantic.
4:53 Oh, okay.
4:57 That's not the idea at all.
5:01 Hmm.
5:02 Okay.
5:03 Well, this story isn't ideal.
5:06 I've never told it to you before.
5:08 I got a very thoughtless birthday present from someone who shall remain nameless.
5:16 So I actually went to the bowling alley to spite him.
5:19 Or her.
5:20 Hmm.
5:30 I'm awfully sorry.
5:33 Entirely my fault.
5:34 It is nice to meet you, Homer. Oh, no, no.
5:40 Homer is my ball's name. I'm Marge.
5:49 Your fingers are so slender, so feminine.
5:52 The fort you tapered for the ball you're using, you need something lighter, more delicate.
5:57 Here, use my ball.
5:59 No, no, thank you, Mr.
6:02 Brunswick. Call me Jacques.
6:04 Jacques?
6:06 Marge.
6:07 May I ask you a bold question?
6:10 Sure.
6:11 You've never bowled before? Never.
6:13 No.
6:14 Then I will teach you. Oh, I don't want to trouble you.
6:17 Not at all. I am a professional.
6:19 Roll the ball for me, Marge. Let me see your form.
6:22 All right, but I'm not very good.
6:28 I can hit that one pin all right, but the rest of them don't even wobble.
6:31 I can help you, Marlch. Pick up the ball.
6:33 Pick up Homer. Pick him up.
6:38 Now throw.
6:39 But... Throw, damn you.
6:46 You're a very good teacher.
6:50 Here we are. You didn't have to drop me off.
6:53 But I wanted to.
6:55 Marge, do you know how beautiful you look in the moonlight?
6:59 Oh, Jacques, I'm a married woman.
7:01 I know, I know.
7:02 My mind says stop, but my heart and my hips cry proceed.
7:09 Marge, darling, I want to see you tomorrow.
7:11 Meet me tomorrow for brunch.
7:13 What's brunch? You'd love it. It's not quite breakfast.
7:15 It's not quite lunch, but it comes with a slice of cantaloupe at the end.
7:19 You don't get completely what you would at breakfast,
7:22 but you get a good meal You seem to know a lot about brunch But it turned out he wasn't
7:27 interested in brunch at all
7:30 Your laughter is like music to me But if you laugh at what I say next,
7:34 I will die For I am about to say something very serious Perhaps shocking Miles,
7:40 my darling, I want you to meet with me again
7:43 That doesn't shock me Away from prying eyes At my apartment The Fiesta
7:49 Darius.
7:52 Marge, speak to me.
7:55 Is Thursday okay?
8:10 Thank goodness I drove down that ironic street.
8:14 I made the right decision to stay with my homie, and there was no harm done.
8:20 So if you kind of mentally snip out the part where I already had a husband,
8:24 that's my idea of romance.
8:27 Marge, I want you to stop seeing this jock.
8:30 You can let him down gently, but over the next couple of months,
8:33 I want you to break it off.
8:36 Okay, Homer.
8:37 Oof, that was a close one, kids.
8:42 Okay, Marge, as long as we're traumatizing the kids,
8:46 I have a scandalous story of my own.
8:50 Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet your new co-worker, Mindy Simmons.
8:54 I think she has a degree in engineering or something.
8:56 Hi, how's it going? Oh, pleased to meet you.
8:59 Yeah, ditto. Hi.
9:05 Mama, what's the matter? Ha!
9:07 Ain't you never seen a naked chick riding a clam before?
9:11 Gotta go!
9:17 I made it the whole day without seeing her again.
9:22 I mean, hello!
9:25 I guess we'll be going down together.
9:28 I mean, getting off together. I mean... That's okay.
9:30 I'll just push the button for the stimulator.
9:32 I mean elevator.
9:34 Think on sexy thoughts, think on sexy thoughts, think on sexy thoughts.
9:39 Eww.
9:46 Well, this is my floor.
9:50 I'll see you tomorrow.
9:53 I tried to avoid her, but we were sent to a nuclear convention in Capital City together.
10:02 TV's there, bathroom's there, and there's your king-size bed for...
10:14 Stop that. I love my wife and family.
10:16 All I'm going to use this bed for is sleeping, eating, and maybe building a little fort.
10:20 That's it.
10:22 Homer, I got a really wicked idea that could get us into a lot of trouble.
10:26 Oh, Mindy, we have to fight our temptation.
10:30 No, Homer.
10:32 Let's do it.
10:33 Let's call room service!
10:35 Oh.
10:38 Someone is charging room service to the company, sir.
10:41 Well, we'll just see about that.
10:44 Fly, my pretties.
10:46 Fly!
10:54 Continue the research.
10:58 Thanks for poisoning the planet, bastard!
11:01 Get bent!
11:02 No more Cherdobles! Go to hell!
11:06 I was doing my best to resist her, but at dinner,
11:10 the fortune cookie predicted doom.
11:15 You will find happiness with a new love.
11:18 This was a really nice night, Homer.
11:21 Yeah, yeah.
11:24 What's wrong?
11:26 Oh yeah, like you don't know.
11:28 We're gonna have sex.
11:30 Oh, well, we don't have to.
11:34 Yes we do.
11:36 The cookie told me so.
11:38 Well, desserts aren't always right.
11:41 But they're so sweet. Oh, Mart.
11:45 You know how I feel.
11:48 So, it's up to you.
11:51 Look in your heart.
11:52 I think you'll see what you want.
12:10 Oh, baby.
12:13 This was a wonderful idea, homie.
12:17 What happened to Mindy? Yes, what did happen to her?
12:20 She hit the bottle pretty hard and lost her job.
12:23 Good. Does anyone else have a love story?
12:26 Yes, I do. And just like your love stories,
12:29 it's tragic and filled with hurt feelings and scars that will never heal.
12:33 It started appropriately enough with an innocent boy being embarrassed on Valentine's Day.
12:44 Poor Ralph.
12:47 Here you go, Ralph.
12:50 You choo-choo-choose me? Happy Valentine's!
12:59 It was an unusually warm February 14th, so the children walked home without jackets.
13:05 Can I walk you home, Valentine?
13:09 Sure, I guess.
13:11 That Valentine's sure was funny.
13:14 Glad you liked it.
13:16 It says, choo-choo-choose me.
13:20 And there's a picture of a train. Yeah, nice gag.
13:28 So, do you like stuff?
13:34 The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger out of there.
13:40 Well, here's my house.
13:47 Huh?
13:50 Oh, no.
13:51 It's a package from Ralph.
13:54 Oh, a Malibu Stacy convertible.
13:58 Look in the trunk.
14:00 He must mean trunk.
14:04 Tickets to the Krusty Anniversary Show.
14:08 It's the Krusty the Clown 29th Anniversary Show.
14:15 Thank you, thank you.
14:17 Lisa, do you want a bite of my ice cream?
14:20 No, thanks.
14:21 Send it this way, boy.
14:23 Whoops.
14:24 Aw.
14:25 Aw, nothing gets chocolate out.
14:27 See?
14:28 Now for my favorite part of the show.
14:31 What did I say?
14:33 Talk to the audience.
14:34 Oh, God, this is always death.
14:37 All right.
14:38 Oh, no, please don't show me with Ralph.
14:42 What's your name, son? Ralph.
14:45 And is this your girlfriend, Ralph?
14:47 Yes, I love Lisa Simpson, and when I grow up, I'm going to marry her.
14:52 No!
14:54 Now you listen to me. I don't like you. I never liked you.
14:58 And the only reason I gave you that stupid Valentine is because nobody else would.
15:03 Watch this, Lisa.
15:04 You can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half.
15:09 And now.
15:11 Oh.
15:15 Lisa, not all romances turn out that way.
15:18 Bart, do you have a love story that doesn't end in heartbreak?
15:22 Yes, I do.
15:24 The only girl I ever loved invited me up to the treehouse.
15:28 She had something very important to tell me.
15:32 I'm so happy. I just had to tell someone.
15:36 I have a boyfriend.
15:41 You won't be needing this.
15:52 Wait, that did end in heartbreak.
15:55 Thanks for opening up old wounds, Ma.
16:08 Well, as Jerry Lee Lewis would say, there's a whole lot of frowning going on.
16:17 Mom, doesn't any love story have a happy ending?
16:20 Of course.
16:22 Remember when your Aunt Selma got married?
16:29 Oh, good.
16:30 Soon I will kill you. Oh, wait, wait, that's no good.
16:34 I know, your grandfather, remember?
16:37 It all started on an outing for dinner.
16:42 Say, I've got a neat idea.
16:44 Why don't you go in and pick up my mother and we'll all go out to dinner?
16:47 I'll be back in a jiffy.
16:54 That's not my mother.
16:55 I'll be back in a jiffy.
16:59 Can I come too?
17:03 They hit it off right away. But there were rivals for the fair lady's hand.
17:10 Oh, my favorite song.
17:13 This is so nice.
17:15 I can't remember when I felt this young.
17:19 Oh, I really can't.
17:25 Say, sport, mind if I have the next dance?
17:28 What the?
17:30 Don't sneak up on it, are you?
17:32 No need for the blown gasket, Charlie. I'll have it back in one piece.
17:49 But in the end, just when things look worse,
17:53 true love triumphed.
17:56 Do you, Jacqueline Bouvier, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?
18:03 Oh, Monty, my favorite song.
18:07 I specifically requested no romantic music.
18:10 Mrs.
18:11 Boobieye!
18:13 Mrs.
18:14 Boobieye!
18:15 Mrs.
18:18 Boobieye!
18:20 Honey, are you sure you want to be Mrs. Montgomery Burns?
18:24 Wouldn't you rather be Mrs.
18:26 Abraham J.
18:27 Simpson?
18:28 No.
18:31 I don't want to be either.
18:33 Hot diggity jam! That's good enough for me!
18:51 That doesn't seem like a happy ending.
18:53 That seems more like a detached tale of modern alienation.
18:57 I give up. Did anybody learn anything about love tonight?
19:01 They learned it screws everybody up There's that side of it But there's also
19:06 Help me out here, Lisa Sorry,
19:10 Mom I've decided to save my love for someone who's guaranteed not to reject me
19:15 Soon, Cory, soon
19:20 Well,
19:21 kids I tried But maybe you're right Wait a minute,
19:26 Marge Love isn't hopeless Look, maybe I'm no expert on the subject,
19:30 but there was one time I got it right.
19:33 Gee, Artie, Artie, wait, I don't know. I mean, it was a beautiful evening.
19:38 Come on, let's not ruin it.
19:40 Artie, please. Come on, kiss me. Oh, Artie.
19:43 No, really, I mean it. Now stop it.
19:48 I'm sorry, Marge.
19:49 Take me home, Artie.
20:01 Marge, I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anybody about my busy hands.
20:06 Not so much for myself,
20:07 but I am so respected it would damage the town to hear it.
20:13 Good night.
20:14 Yeah, right.
20:20 Shut up.
20:22 I'm over as far as I can go.
20:25 All right. All right. I'll walk in the mud!
20:31 Homer?
20:32 Marge? Yeah, you want a ride? Sure.
20:37 You know, Homer, when I got home, I realized who I should have gone to the prom with.
20:42 Who?
20:43 Oh.
20:44 Hi, prom day.
20:46 Oh, Marge, poor vood.
20:49 Oh.
20:51 Why so glum?
20:53 I got a problem.
20:56 Once you stop this car, I'm gonna hug you and kiss you,
21:00 and then I'll never be able to let you go.
21:03 Ah, your first kiss.
21:06 But not the last.
21:28 See, kids?
21:30 That's what I meant by romance
21:37 Muah.
21:39 Muah. Oh, boy.
22:23 Shh.
22:40 We'll be right back.

Who's in it

Bart Simpson, Homer Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson, Maggie Simpson, Moe Szyslak, Milhouse Van Houten, Grampa Simpson, Ned Flanders, Barney Gumble, Chief Wiggum, Krusty the Clown, Lenny Leonard, Carl Carlson, Mrs. Krabappel, Dr. Hibbert, Mr. Burns, Waylon Smithers, Jasper Beardsley, Martin Prince, Ralph Wiggum, Patty Bouvier, Reverend Lovejoy, Selma Bouvier, Wendell Borton, Maude Flanders, Janey Powell, Larry Dalrymple, Hans Moleman, Sam, Bernice Hibbert, Horatio McCallister, Itchy, Ruth Powers, Scratchy, Alice Glick, Jacqueline Bouvier, Sherri and Terri, Sideshow Bob, Jacques, Mindy Simmons, Artie Ziff, Laura Powers, Weasels

Everyone who appears in it, from the Simpsons wiki. Every character