It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge

The Simpsons, season 11, episode 21. First aired May 14, 2000. Every line said in it, with its time: open one for its frame, to caption it or make a GIF.

← Last Tap Dance in Springfield Behind the Laughter → The whole episode as text

From “It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge”: “as we have not approved of any part of your life to date.” — as we have not approved of any part of your life to date.

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About the episode

Otto Mann's wedding to Becky at the Simpson house collapses after Marge's advice leads Becky to make him choose between her and heavy metal. A guilty Marge lets Becky stay, but the family adores her so much that Marge becomes convinced she is out to kill her and take her place. After she attacks Becky in an ice cream shop, Marge is ruled insane and escapes, becoming a fugitive.

Written by: Larry Doyle
Directed by: Steven Dean Moore
Guest stars: Marcia Wallace as Mrs. Krabappel; Parker Posey as Becky
Chalkboard gag: I cannot hire a substitute student
Couch gag: Korean Artists
Production code: BABF18

The synopsis is our own. Credits and guest stars from Wikipedia and the Simpsons wiki.

Every line

329 lines, from the episode's subtitles. Its moments aren't described yet.

0:02 The Simpsons
0:39 Thank you.
1:03 Go!
1:05 Woo!
1:25 Don't! Now be careful with those video cameras, children.
1:28 In order to buy them, the school board had to eliminate geography.
1:32 This globe will never spin again.
1:35 Now, class, I want you to be creative with your video projects.
1:38 I don't want to see 30 Blair Witch knockoffs.
1:46 Stop hitting yourself.
1:48 Take what? Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself.
1:51 Stop hitting yourself.
1:53 Tonight on the Discovery Channel, inside Lisa's nose, what will we find?
1:57 Boogers or Nazi gold? Bart, quit it.
2:01 No way.
2:02 Bart sleeps with Raggedy Andy. Cut, cut, cut.
2:06 Otto, a red traffic light means what?
2:10 No time for brain teasers.
2:12 Today's the day I ask my girlfriend to take a ride on a matrimony pony.
2:16 Otto's got a girlfriend.
2:20 That's right, I do.
2:21 I know you do.
2:23 Baby.
2:24 Otto, since when have you had a girlfriend?
2:27 We met in the summer of love.
2:31 Woodstock 99.
2:36 Quick! I need some water!
2:39 Eight dollars.
2:40 Not in this lifetime.
2:44 Woodstock!
3:00 Okay, this is it.
3:06 Otto?
3:19 Mickey, you're my rose.
3:23 Will you let me be your thorn? Oh, Otto, of course my answer is...
3:27 Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. This Soto is kick-ass.
3:34 Honey, could you turn it down?
3:36 Okay, but this better be worth it. Yes, I will marry you.
3:41 Cool.
3:50 Homer, look. We're invited to Otto's wedding.
3:54 Oh, and such delicate tissue paper. Huh?
3:57 Zig-zag.
3:59 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! No knife games on the kitchen table.
4:03 I didn't hit your precious table.
4:06 Ooh,
4:07 we're cordially invited this Saturday to join Otto and Becky at 742
4:13 Evergreen Terrace. That's our address.
4:16 I told Otto he could have the wedding here.
4:18 Hope that's okay.
4:19 You should have asked first, Bart.
4:21 Weddings are hard work and cost thousands of dollars.
4:24 Hey, it'll be easy. You still got most of the stuff from Mapu's wedding back there.
4:33 All right, Otto can get married here.
4:35 But Homer, you have to get rid of that elephant.
4:43 Let's see.
4:44 Candles, flowers, place cards, rice.
4:47 Oh, Mom, you're not supposed to throw rice anymore.
4:49 Birds eat it, their stomachs swell, and they explode.
4:52 Why am I just learning this now?
4:57 Son, your mother and I don't approve of this marriage,
5:01 as we have not approved of any part of your life to date.
5:04 Well, the important thing is you came.
5:06 We're leaving.
5:08 Drive safe.
5:11 Always a bridesmaid. Only occasionally a bride.
5:14 Lisa, it's time you learn the truth about men.
5:17 They're pigs?
5:18 The bitterness is strong in this one.
5:23 So, any words for the bride and groom?
5:26 Not now, Bart.
5:27 I'm trying to urinate. You don't seem to be trying very hard.
5:35 Dad, the bride and groom are supposed to cut the wedding cake.
5:38 Oh, that's just superstition.
5:41 Thank you.
6:04 Oh, Becky, you look beautiful.
6:07 I thought you might want to see this bridal magazine.
6:09 It's got 900 tips for the perfect marriage.
6:13 All don'ts. I will be fine.
6:15 Otto's got a clean police record and he doesn't do any needle drugs.
6:18 Well, the real key, according to sexperts, is mutual interest.
6:23 No prob.
6:23 We like all the same things.
6:26 Except...
6:28 Don't tell Otto, but I'm not into heavy metal and he loves it.
6:32 He refers to our lovemaking as the headbanger's paw.
6:35 Oh, you can fix little defects like that with gentle nagging.
6:38 Make it part of the background noise of your relationship.
6:42 That's how I polished Homer into the perfect Homer.
6:45 No, that's ice!
6:51 And now, as for the matter of my honorarium,
6:55 you know, my emolument, pay me $300.
7:01 $300?
7:02 I could've gotten Rick D's for that.
7:19 You got poison to play at our wedding? We're cyanide.
7:22 A loving tribute to poison.
7:24 We need a ride home!
7:25 You expect me to walk down the aisle to a monster ballad?
7:30 Let me talk to Otto.
7:32 That's okay.
7:33 I guess this is sort of...
7:36 our song.
7:37 Well, it doesn't have to be. Otto's just going to have to decide what's more important.
7:42 Is heavy metal or you?
7:50 Becky, what have I done here? I'm so sorry.
7:54 In about 15 minutes, I take off that wedding dress, or you're gonna look crazy.
8:06 Mo, can I give you some shrimp for the road?
8:09 Nah, I'll just take the ring pillow.
8:11 And these, uh, seven presents I brung.
8:14 Ah, you know what? Cram some shrimp in, too.
8:18 Head to tail.
8:19 That way it could fit more.
8:22 I want some sauce.
8:26 Thanks.
8:27 Becky, I know you must feel awful, but at least this didn't happen after you were married.
8:32 Yeah, it's better now than when you're too old and fat to get another man.
8:36 I feel so alone.
8:38 What am I going to do?
8:40 Hey, why don't you stay with us? Bart,
8:42 remember that talk we had about you volunteering our house?
8:45 Remember that talk we had about you not wrecking people's weddings?
8:51 It's settled. The stranger stays with us.
8:54 Yay!
8:56 Ch-ch-ch-changes.
8:58 Time to change the oil.
9:01 Changes.
9:03 Don't want to be an oily man.
9:05 A man innocently changes his oil when a two-ton car comes crashing down.
9:11 Changes oil.
9:13 Crashing down.
9:17 Who'd have thought you could hold up a car with a wicker basket?
9:22 Now, Lisa's going through this phase where she doesn't eat any meat,
9:26 so I usually sneak a little meat juice into her vegetables.
9:29 Wow, you're a real-life Martha Stewart.
9:32 I mean without the evil.
9:34 May I?
9:36 Mmm, yummers.
9:38 Nobody's ever called my gravy yummers before.
9:41 Mmm!
9:42 You know what'd be really nuts? A little rosemary.
9:44 Ooh, I've always wanted to use rosemary in something.
9:49 Mmm.
9:52 Mmm. Mmm, Mom, this gravy tastes better than God's sweat.
9:55 Thanks, Torl. Spice girl. Becky!
9:58 Well, Mom, you really brought out the mung in these beans.
10:03 Actually, that was Becky, too.
10:05 What are these things in the mashed potatoes?
10:07 That's the skins. I left them on. Well, nobody's perfect.
10:11 Let me just pick those... Oh, Becky, your potatoes are the best I've ever had.
10:16 Oh, God.
10:19 Hey, hey!
10:20 Huh?
10:22 Stop kicking my baby!
10:25 Oh, it's cool. We're just putting some Jackie Chan moves into Bart's video project.
10:29 Yeah, Mom, I need something great.
10:31 Milhouse has footage of himself falling down the stairs.
10:34 Well, no kicking.
10:35 It's too dangerous.
10:37 Marge, chill out. I have great control.
10:39 See?
10:40 Hey, hey! That's very impressive, but I still don't...
10:43 Stop that.
10:45 Hey, hey!
10:52 Hello?
10:56 We're jamming, Mom. She's painting my music, and I'm playing to her painting.
11:02 Isn't it wonderful to have a hip female influence in the house?
11:05 Yes.
11:06 Well, I guess I'll go roll socks.
11:08 It's not hip, but it has to be done.
11:11 Actually, you could just tie them at the ends.
11:13 That way the elastic doesn't wear out. Yes, I hate when things get worn out.
11:19 Socks, welcomes.
11:25 She's so helpful, and everyone loves her.
11:28 And, well, this may sound crazy, but I think my family likes Becky more than me.
11:35 I wouldn't worry about that.
11:37 Really?
11:38 Yeah, you're gonna be dead in a week anyway.
11:39 Then in a week? What are you talking about?
11:42 Look, honey, never let an attractive woman into your house.
11:46 All they ever do is usurp your family and then kill you.
11:49 Like that documentary, The Hand That Rocks the Cradle.
11:52 That was a movie.
11:53 Look, all we know is she's going to shoot you or stab you or boil you.
11:58 Or club you with an antique wooden doll.
12:00 Oh, yeah.
12:01 Yeah, that was a good one. Oh, but first, she's going to seduce your husband.
12:05 Becky's going to seduce Homer?
12:09 It's an act of violence, not love.
12:24 Oh, I'm sorry. Did I wake you?
12:26 I wanted to return your hair dryer.
12:31 Oh, and here's your brush.
12:35 You just enjoy your grocery shopping, Marge.
12:38 And if you pick up some semolina, I can make couscous for Lisa.
12:42 It's my favorite.
12:43 It is?
12:44 Oh, yeah.
12:45 You can learn a lot from your kids if you just listen to them.
12:52 Be right back.
12:55 Take your time.
13:00 Why do I always think of the perfect thing to say when it's too late.
13:04 Shut up, Becky.
13:06 Oh, that would have been sweet.
13:13 The brakes got light.
13:19 It's red.
13:25 Wow, tough glass.
13:29 I still say ours is bigger.
13:34 Ah, speed bumps is stronger, too.
13:37 I don't know, Simpson.
13:38 How do I know you didn't cut your own brakes?
13:41 Why would I do that?
13:42 I don't know. Get some attention from a handsome police officer?
13:46 That's crazy.
13:48 Look, I know I don't have any proof, but this woman is trying to kill me.
13:53 Fine.
13:54 Let me tell you what I tell everybody who comes in here.
13:56 The law is powerless to help you. Do I have to be dead before you'll help me?
14:01 I'm not dead dying.
14:03 No, no, no. Don't walk away. How about this?
14:06 Just show me the knife in your back not too deep, but it should be able to stand by itself
14:12 Come on Becky tell us your big news.
14:15 Well, I wanted to wait for your mother, but okay I found an apartment and I'm moving out
14:21 Becky I think I speak for all of us when I say when's the ice cream gonna get here?
14:28 And God said, gather ye two of every flavor,
14:32 anoint them with 62 sauces, whipped cream and nuts,
14:36 and ye shall call it the Ark!
14:45 Homer!
14:46 Relax, he's gorging.
14:49 Okay, maybe not.
14:51 We gotta save him!
15:00 Usurper!
15:03 Don't mess with me. I've got jimmies.
15:08 I can only see a horrible rainbow.
15:14 Shut up, Becky.
15:16 There.
15:17 I finally said it.
15:25 Drop the cone, sugar
15:30 Whoopsie Take her away, boys
15:34 I thought you said the law was powerless Powerless to help you, not punish you
15:40 Earned my treat This isn't over, Becky I know where you live My house
15:52 Poor Maggie.
15:53 How many insanity hearings have you been to in your short little life?
15:57 Mrs. Simpson, before we begin, I just want to assure you that this is not a trial.
16:03 All right, it's a trial. Yes!
16:06 Now, Marge, according to this, you recently went berserk in an ice cream parlor.
16:11 Yes? And Marge, did you ever have an unhealthy fixation on Ringo Starr?
16:17 It was healthy. He reciprocated.
16:20 He reciprocated.
16:22 Please.
16:23 Road rage.
16:25 Excuse me, what are you doing?
16:27 Oh, I was just praying to God that you'll find me sane.
16:31 I see.
16:32 And this God, is he in this room right now?
16:36 Oh, yes. He's kind of everywhere.
16:39 Marge Simpson, you give us no choice but to declare you utterly...
16:44 I'm not insane!
16:46 You didn't let me finish.
16:48 Insane!
16:59 I'm not insane!
17:02 Run, Marge! Run!
17:04 Pump those crazy legs!
17:07 Police say escaped mental patient Marge Simpson could be anywhere.
17:12 Even here at Juggernauts, where it's wet T-shirt month.
17:17 But for now,
17:18 this reporter prays that Mad Marge can be captured before she kills again.
17:23 Kills again?
17:24 She hasn't killed once. Shouldn't we be out there trying to find her?
17:28 Don't worry.
17:29 She'll show up here sooner or later to finish off Becky.
17:32 Then we'll have Mommy back.
18:09 Come back! Those are prescription pants!
18:12 Now, Ralphie, what are you gonna do if you see Mrs.
18:15 Simpson?
18:16 Freeze, you crazy mommy!
18:18 Atta boy.
18:19 But you gotta aim a little higher.
18:21 There you go. That's a kill shot.
18:24 Now we've got a special guest.
18:26 She just flew in from the cuckoo's nest, and boy is she crazy!
18:31 Crazy Marge Simpson!
18:34 Look at that. Hello, Krusty!
18:39 That's funny.
18:40 So Marge, who's your favorite Native American warrior?
18:45 Crazy horse.
18:46 Woo-woo-woo.
18:50 All right, stop it.
18:52 Oh, this bit's dying. Let's go to the Mad Marge dancers.
19:00 Too soon.
19:02 Oh, I really miss Mom.
19:04 The kids are saying if you say Bloody Margie five times, she'll appear.
19:08 But then she gouges your eyes out. I heard she mates with men, then eats them.
19:13 I'm sure if Marge were here and not crazy,
19:15 she'd be telling you two to do your homework, and you'd have finished washing the dog.
19:25 Now, let's find out who this Becky really is.
19:38 Mmm.
19:40 I really should read the whole headline before I react.
19:46 Oh, my, I've been so unfair to Becky. Maybe I am insane.
19:50 I mean, I am talking to myself.
19:52 You are?
19:54 Oh, I thought I'd made a friend.
20:01 Becky, I want to apologize to you, usurper!
20:12 Hey-ya!
20:15 Why, you... Cut, cut!
20:17 Mom, it's great to have you back, but you walked right into my shot.
20:21 Shot?
20:22 What are you... I hope we didn't scare you, Marge.
20:24 Barst is filming a music video for his class project.
20:27 And I'm directing the making of video.
20:29 Oh.
20:30 Well, then, I guess there's a reasonable explanation for everything.
20:35 Except you cutting my brakes. Oh, about that, when I changed your oil,
20:40 I may have drained your brake fluid. I didn't say anything because I thought you'd be mad.
20:45 Oh boy, my bad.
20:46 Becky, I'm so sorry I accused you of trying to kill me and steal my family.
20:52 Hey, no biggie. I was trying to steal your family.
20:55 I even thought of a good place to bury you.
20:57 But then I didn't have a shovel, so I went to the hardware store,
20:59 and they have six different kinds, and I was like, later.
21:03 Well, that's a relief too, knowing I'm not crazy.
21:06 So I guess everything really worked out for the...
21:09 Mom!
21:11 You monsters!
21:12 You killed her! No, they didn't.
21:14 Good God.
21:16 We put enough tranquilizers in there to take down Jonathan Winters.
21:19 Oh, I've got too much to do to take a nap right now.
21:23 Lisa, get Maggie out of that cage. And Homer, since you're dressed for it,
21:27 I got some S&M for you.
21:30 Scrubbing and mopping.
21:36 Thank you.
22:25 대박

Who's in it

Bart Simpson, Homer Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson, Maggie Simpson, Moe Szyslak, Milhouse Van Houten, Grampa Simpson, Principal Skinner, Ned Flanders, Barney Gumble, Chief Wiggum, Krusty the Clown, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Mrs. Krabappel, Dr. Hibbert, Nelson Muntz, Kent Brockman, Otto Mann, Jasper Beardsley, Martin Prince, Ralph Wiggum, Patty Bouvier, Reverend Lovejoy, Selma Bouvier, Santa's Little Helper, Lou, Lewis Clark, Wendell Borton, Richard, Eddie, Todd Flanders, Rod Flanders, Sherri Mackleberry, Terri Mackleberry, Sideshow Mel, Nina Skalka, Hans Moleman, Luann Van Houten, Adrian Belew, Bernice Hibbert, Sophie Jensen, Comic Book Guy, Itchy, Girl with glasses, Long-haired girl, Jaffee Ziswhisky, Buck-toothed boy, Squeaky-Voiced Teen, Buck-toothed girl, Boy with shades, Alice Glick, Fat Tony, Manjula Nahasapeemapetilon, Allison Taylor, Brown-haired boy, Pyro, Lucille Botzcowski, Karen, Dr. Foster, Dr. Zweig, Admiral Mann, Becky, Mrs. Mann

Everyone who appears in it, from the Simpsons wiki. Every character