Black Widower
The Simpsons, season 3, episode 21. First aired April 9, 1992. 137 moments of about ten seconds each: open one for its frame, what happens and what's said.
← Colonel Homer The Otto Show → The whole episode as text
About the episode
Selma's new boyfriend turns out to be Sideshow Bob, paroled after the two struck up a pen-pal romance while he was in prison. Bart alone doubts that Bob has reformed, and the wedding nearly collapses when Bob confesses he can't stand MacGyver, Selma's beloved show. On the honeymoon, Bart figures out Bob's plan to kill Selma with leaking gas and arrives in time to save her.
- Written by
- story by Thomas Chastain and Sam Simon; teleplay by Jon Vitti
- Directed by
- David Silverman
- Guest stars
- Kelsey Grammer as Sideshow Bob
- Chalkboard gag
Funny noises are not funny
- Couch gag
- Robbed Couch
- Production code
- 8F20
The synopsis is our own. Credits and guest stars from Wikipedia and the Simpsons wiki.
Every moment
-
No characters appear in this opening sequence
“The Simpsons”
0:00–0:11 -
Bart first appears outside Springfield Elementary School, whose sign hangs above the brown double doors
0:11–0:23 -
Homer holds a glowing green rod with tongs at a nuclear plant control panel beneath a CAUTION sign…
0:23–0:35 -
Lisa Simpson plays a saxophone among the crowded school band in a classroom with a bust and sheet music…
0:35–0:47 -
Bart Simpson rides a yellow skateboard along a sidewalk past a purple wall, after a figure with a pale face…
“Oh, my God.”
0:47–0:57 -
Maggie sits in a red car seat gripping a steering wheel while Marge drives a car with a bright blue sky…
“Oh, my God.”
0:57–1:08 -
Homer, Marge, Lisa, Maggie and Bart sit on a brown couch in a living room with green carpet, flanked by two…
1:08–1:19 -
Two green reptilian cartoon characters, not Simpsons regulars, appear in a bedroom: a heavy one in a red open…
“Would you turn off that rock and rock music?”
1:19–1:27 -
Homer, Bart, Maggie and Lisa sit together on a maroon couch in a pink living room, with Bart and Lisa…
“These talking dinosaurs are more real than most real families on TV.”
1:27–1:35 -
Homer laughs with his eyes shut on a couch while Bart in a teal jacket and orange tie grins and then raises…
“Look, Maggie. They have a baby, too.”
1:35–1:46 -
Marge stands beside Selma, who has purple hair, a black top, a turquoise necklace and a cigarette, in a pink…
“But I think that before he gets here, I should tell you something about him.”
1:46–1:57 -
Homer, Selma with lavender-grey hair and a turquoise necklace, and Bart stand together at first, with Homer…
“Blah.”
1:57–2:09 -
Bart, Homer, Maggie and Lisa sit together on a dark red couch in a pink living room, with a framed sailboat…
“Cool.”
2:09–2:13 -
Marge Simpson and Patty stand in a pink-walled room
“Now, now, he's an ex-convict. He's paid his debt to society.”
2:13–2:25 -
In a pink living room, Homer holds baby Maggie while seated on a red sofa beside Bart and Lisa, as Marge…
“Now, remember, everyone, be understanding and forgiving for the sake of family unity.”
2:25–2:36 -
Sideshow Bob stands in the pink living room holding a hat and grinning, while Marge in her tall blue beehive…
“What the... Selma, dear, I'm afraid the children's reaction is quite understandable.”
2:36–2:47 -
Homer in a dark suit and purple tie, Bart in a green jacket and orange tie, Marge with her tall blue beehive…
“Gee, if some snot-nosed little kid sent me to prison, the first thing out,”
2:47–2:56 -
Bart sits at a table against a pink wall, first staring wide-eyed and then grimacing and gripping his chin…
“Urgh!”
2:56–3:07 -
Bart Simpson sits at a restaurant table beside Sideshow Bob, who has a huge mane of spiky red hair, a brown…
“I am not. Yes, you are.”
3:07–3:15 -
Sideshow Bob sits in a brown jacket and holds up a glass of red wine beside a purple dresser
“In this case, my desire to do high-quality children's programming.”
3:15–3:25 -
Sideshow Bob works among a line of orange-vested convicts digging a trench beside a barbed-wire fence…
3:25–3:35 -
Krusty the Clown's white limousine with a Krusty face emblem and KRUSTY9 plate drives down a desert road…
“When I was nominated for Best Supporting Performer in a Children's Program at the Daytime”
3:35–3:46 -
Krusty the Clown walks down a red carpet toward a podium on a stage beneath a large golden Emmy statue…
“Emmy Awards, my bitterness ruined what should have been the greatest night of my life.”
3:46–3:58 -
Sideshow Bob sits behind bars in a prison setting, reading from a sheet of paper while the caption Live…
“the biggest cat in the whole wide world, Sideshow Bob, and Suck Up the Vacuum.”
3:58–4:02 -
Krusty the Clown stands center stage before five framed inset pictures of a glamorous crowd, a grey rat-like…
“And the Emmy goes to... I don't believe this.”
4:02–4:16 -
Krusty the Clown stands at a black podium between two microphones in a tuxedo with a blue bow tie, his green…
“Just don't drop that thing in the shower, Bob.”
4:16–4:26 -
Krusty the Clown stands behind a black podium between two microphones in a tuxedo with a blue bow tie…
“Now for the highlight of the evening.”
4:26–4:35 -
Chief Wiggum stands guard in a prison cell block while a man in grey-blue prison clothes is held beside him…
“In our overcrowded cell, we became little more than beasts.”
4:35–4:45 -
Sideshow Bob takes a small white pill from a blue vial held out by an unseen yellow hand, then leans…
“Oh, I did. Here you go. I don't want it.”
4:45–4:55 -
Sideshow Bob and Bart sit across a dinner table set with a steak and peas and a glass of milk
“Hi,”
4:55–5:06 -
Sideshow Bob and Bart sit at a pink dining table under a colorful painting, with Bob gesturing with open…
“in that door But then what kind of a guest would I have been?”
5:06–5:19 -
Sideshow Bob grips a black bar and grimaces in a cell while Chief Wiggum holds up a golden statuette…
“Hey, you know the rules.”
5:19–5:30 -
Sideshow Bob lies in a purple bed against a white pillow, holding a folded letter and reading it…
“I received an answer to my letter from the prison pen pal program.”
5:30–5:40 -
Sideshow Bob lies on the top bunk of a prison cell reading a letter with his feet dangling, while below him…
“I have a steady job and a lucrative hobby filing nuisance lawsuits.”
5:40–5:52 -
Sideshow Bob first appears in close-up holding a folded letter, then leans on a ledge in front of barred…
“Dear Selma,”
5:52–6:04 -
Sideshow Bob sits hunched on a low ledge with his chin resting on his hands beside a single purple crocus…
“Like the lone crocus that pokes through the prison yard,”
6:04–6:11 -
Sideshow Bob and Selma face each other through a visiting-room window with an intercom grille between them
“Selma, may I?”
6:11–6:23 -
Sideshow Bob plays a violin outside a chain-link fence topped with barbed wire, beside a sign…
“I resolved to be the best darn inmate number 24601 I could be.”
6:23–6:33 -
Sideshow Bob embraces and clasps the arms of a shaggy-haired inmate in a blue shirt with a green snake tattoo…
“Cutter.”
6:33–6:41 -
Sideshow Bob leans toward Selma, whose grey-violet hair and orange bead necklace stand out, and they hold…
“Aww.”
6:41–6:49 -
Marge sits at a dinner table with her hands propped on her cheeks, grinning with her eyes shut while Maggie…
“Selma, I've never seen you so happy, giggling like a schoolgirl.”
6:49–7:00 -
Bart Simpson in a teal suit and orange tie sits at a dining table with Sideshow Bob, who has a huge mane…
“Yes, I hope the police are saying that as well.”
7:00–7:10 -
Sideshow Bob and Bart sit at a restaurant table with pink walls and a framed painting behind them
“Bart!”
7:10–7:21 -
Sideshow Bob and Selma sit together at a table in a pink room with a framed painting and a plate of food
“Hear, hear.”
7:21–7:33 -
Sideshow Bob sits at a pink-walled table beside Selma, who has grey-violet hair and wears a purple dress…
“Selma, will you marry me?”
7:33–7:43 -
A spiky-haired boy in a teal jacket and tie, with wide eyes and an open mouth, appears against a bright pink…
“I know I stand in line until I think you have the time to spend an evening”
7:43–7:56 -
Sideshow Bob and Selma stand on a lounge stage holding microphones while seated diners at purple chairs…
“And if we go someplace to dance,”
7:56–8:08 -
A woman in a blue dress with orange beads and a thin man in a green shirt and blue trousers sit side by side…
“Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place and have a drink”
8:08–8:16 -
Selma Bouvier and Sideshow Bob first run hand in hand through a field of daisies while a blond woman…
“And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love”
8:16–8:25 -
Selma Bouvier reclines on a brown couch in a living room with a pyramid-based lamp and a window nearby
“Could you promise my corns for me?”
8:25–8:34 -
Selma holds a pointer toward the eye chart at Window 6 Vision Testing while Homer leans on the counter…
“Avec plaisir A, G,”
8:34–8:46 -
Homer, Marge, Lisa and Bart sit in blue and pink pajamas in a dim living room, with Santa's Little Helper…
“We now return to the 27th annual Krusty the Clown telethon for motion sickness.”
8:46–8:51 -
Krusty the Clown stands on a stage holding a microphone, gesturing and smiling at the camera, then tilting…
“Woo-hoo!”
8:51–9:03 -
Krusty the Clown stands before a game-show backdrop of red curtains, a pink marquee and a dollar-sign prize…
“So nauseous. You should see the bus they came to the studio in.”
9:03–9:15 -
Krusty the Clown stands before a tally board showing a dollar sign and digits on a Krusty's Telethon set…
“What's next?”
9:15–9:27 -
Krusty the Clown and an elderly white-haired man in a navy tuxedo and bow tie stand together on the stage…
“Crusty, there's an old friend backstage who wants to say hello.”
9:27–9:34 -
Troy McClure and Krusty the Clown stand on a stage with red curtains and a glowing TELETHON marquee…
“I can't believe it. Oh, they've been shooting for years.”
9:34–9:48 -
Krusty the Clown stands in a black tuxedo with a microphone and leans toward Troy McClure, a man in a black…
“All I can be is myself.”
9:48–9:57 -
Bart, Homer, Marge and Lisa stand close together in a dim room, watching a television, with Bart glaring…
“That sideshow Bob is a no-good showbiz phony.”
9:57–10:11 -
Marge Simpson sits at a kitchen table writing on a notepad with a pencil, while Patty smokes a cigarette…
“Now, about your wedding dress.”
10:11–10:21 -
Marge Simpson sits at a blue table in a green dress, writing on a notepad with a pencil while glancing…
“Well, Homer, you seem to be a trencherman.”
10:21–10:25 -
Homer Simpson stands beside Sideshow Bob, who has a huge mane of spiky red hair and wears a green shirt…
“Well, you can't go wrong with cocktail weenies.”
10:25–10:32 -
Homer Simpson stands in a pink hallway beside a wall telephone and a notice clipped to the wall, facing…
“They taste as good as they look, and they come in this delicious red sauce.”
10:32–10:40 -
Patty and Selma sit at a kitchen table holding mugs, with cigarettes and an ashtray in front of them…
“Well, Selma, he makes a good case. Get whatever you want.”
10:40–10:45 -
Patty and Selma sit at a blue table in a kitchen, each holding a mug and a cigarette while smoke curls…
“Well, when I was a kid, we were playing with bottle rockets,”
10:45–10:58 -
A man with curly reddish-brown hair, a long narrow face and a green shirt stands beside a wall calendar…
“Selma, this wedding is spinning out of control.”
10:58–11:08 -
Bart sits at a kitchen counter sipping a soda through a straw while one of Marge's twin sisters, Patty…
“I told you I got money. I bought stock in a mace company just before society crumbled.”
11:08–11:21 -
Bart Simpson sips through a white straw from a green cup in a room with a painting of a red house on a blue…
“Tomorrow will be Mr. and Mrs. Bob Terwilliger.”
11:21–11:26 -
Selma and Sideshow Bob sit close together on a blue and red couch at night against a dark green background
“Isn't it grand?”
11:26–11:35 -
Selma sits beside Sideshow Bob, whose spiky red hair fills the top of the screen, and she gestures…
“Holy free holies! We've got ten minutes to MacGyver.”
11:35–11:47 -
Selma and her twin sister Patty are in a living room with Troy McClure, who has swept-back reddish hair…
“Dang.”
11:47–11:54 -
Sideshow Bob sits crossed-legged in a brown armchair in a green shirt and blue pants, first resting his head…
“Thank you, Senor MacGyver. You've saved our village.”
11:54–12:04 -
Sideshow Bob sits in a purple armchair beside a green chair and a lamp with a blue-and-yellow shade, first…
“First of all, he's not a genius.”
12:04–12:18 -
Patty and Selma sit on a green sofa in a living room while one of them smokes a cigarette, and Sideshow Bob…
“He was so cruel.”
12:18–12:28 -
Marge hugs a woman with grey-violet hair and a blue top on a maroon couch in a pink room, the woman's face…
“The things he said, they're just not true.”
12:28–12:36 -
Marge Simpson and her twin sister Selma sit close together on a dark red couch in the living room, Marge…
“Bart, stop that! No, he's right.”
12:36–12:46 -
Marge Simpson stands beside her sister Selma, who has grey-violet hair, a blue dress and orange earrings…
“Selma, I don't know what to say. Just tell me you like MacGyver.”
12:46–12:58 -
Homer Simpson is in a living room with Patty and Selma, the grey-violet-haired twin sisters, one with a tall…
“Oh, would you two knock it off? I hate all the programs Marge likes, but it's no big deal.”
12:58–13:08 -
Homer stands in a pink living room with Bart, the spiky-haired boy in an orange shirt, seated beside him…
“Go on. Whenever Marge puts on one of her non-violent programs, I take a walk.”
13:08–13:18 -
Selma and Sideshow Bob sit together on a brown couch in a pink living room
“Very well, Selma.”
13:18–13:30 -
Lisa Simpson and Bart Simpson sit side by side on a wooden pew among a crowd, with a bearded man in a purple…
“I could have been a flower girl, but I wouldn't keep falling down either.”
13:30–13:44 -
Sideshow Bob stands at a wooden altar with his back to the viewer while Selma stands beside him as a man…
“Do you, Bob, take Selma to have and to hold In sickness and in health,”
13:44–13:54 -
Bart reacts in shock at the start, then the scene shifts to a dim party hall where Lisa in a pink dress…
13:54–14:00 -
Homer and Marge stand at a party holding a tray of pink-and-green hors d'oeuvres while a red-haired waiter is…
“Hey, wiener boy, where do you think you're going?”
14:00–14:12 -
Patty and Selma stand at a wedding reception; in the first frame Selma in a white gown embraces a tuxedoed…
“I'm the only single girl left in the family.”
14:12–14:25 -
Krusty the Clown sits at a white-tableclothed table in a black tuxedo jacket, holding a fork near a slice…
“Krusty! Krusty, say something funny.”
14:25–14:32 -
Krusty the Clown sits at a round table in a black tuxedo jacket in a dim restaurant with brown curtains…
“Okay, this guy walks into a bar and takes out a tiny piano and a 12-inch pianist.”
14:32–14:39 -
Sideshow Bob holds a microphone and speaks at a table draped in white, while a woman with voluminous…
“Dear friends, 41 years ago,”
14:39–14:48 -
Sideshow Bob and Selma sit together at a table with a purple flower bouquet in front of a wood-paneled wall…
“And for this, I thank him.”
14:48–14:56 -
Sideshow Bob stands at a banquet table beside Selma, who wears a white wedding gown and veil and has…
“Except for after meals and after McGuire.”
14:56–15:05 -
Chief Wiggum stands holding a pink plate with a slice of cake topped with a cherry and a fork, while a boy…
“Chief Wiggum, you've been around.”
15:05–15:18 -
Selma and Sideshow Bob stand together at a wedding reception, Selma smiling and Bob talking while rice falls…
“I set it down when I got a piece of cake.”
15:18–15:24 -
Patty and Selma stand together on a wooden staircase scattered with bits of confetti
“I don't know what to say.”
15:24–15:34 -
A crowd of regulars, including Krusty in a black suit at the left, waves on the steps of a pink-brick…
“Come on!”
15:34–15:45 -
Marge dozes against the shoulder of a man with teal curly hair and a long nose in the dark interior of a car
“The wedding was very tough on you, and the honeymoon is going to be murder.”
15:45–15:55 -
A teal car decorated with streamers and trailing white cans drives away down a dark night road lined…
“Welcome to our video honeymoon.”
15:55–16:03 -
A grinning woman with lavender hair, orange earrings and an orange necklace fills the screen at first…
“Welcome to our video honeymoon.”
16:03–16:11 -
Homer sits on the brown couch holding a can in one hand while Marge stands behind him holding Maggie…
“Hey, and after we watch this, we can tape over it.”
16:11–16:15 -
Sideshow Bob and a spiky orange-haired man in a red jacket and red cap appear in a stone-walled room…
“There's Shelbyville Falls, Rolling Rock,”
16:15–16:26 -
Sideshow Bob holds Bart and a framed picture on the wall
“I wanted a room with a fireplace, you brainless luggage monkey.”
16:26–16:37 -
Bart stands in the foreground of the living room with his eyes shifted sideways as Homer sits on the brown…
16:37–16:38 -
Sideshow Bob kneels at a stone fireplace in a room with a red wall and a potted plant with pink flowers
“Ah, fire.”
16:38–16:48 -
A thin yellow man with reddish hair, wearing a blue shirt with purple blotches and orange shorts, first…
“Oh, Selma, dear you and your little camera, what do you say we shut it off for a while?”
16:48–16:58 -
Bart sits on a rug in the pink living room with Lisa, the star-haired girl in a red dress, while Homer, Marge…
“Oh, that's sweet.”
16:58–17:09 -
Homer and Marge stand beside the couch with baby Maggie, who wears a blue bow and sucks a pacifier, held…
“Romantic? With Aunt Selma? I guess you're just too young to understand.”
17:09–17:13 -
Sideshow Bob stands in a bedroom beside a green dresser under a three-cylinder yellow ceiling lamp
“Bob, one of my fillings fell out.”
17:13–17:24 -
Sideshow Bob appears at a bathroom doorway in a pink bedroom while a pair of large yellow feet rests…
“Bob, would you mind rubbing my feet?”
17:24–17:33 -
Sideshow Bob sits up in bed holding his bare feet while Selma lies under a pale pink sheet beside him
“Oh, oh, good.”
17:33–17:45 -
Sideshow Bob sits up in bed beside Selma, whose grey-violet hair spills over the pillow and who wears…
“That's Sanskrit. For your toes are like perfume.”
17:45–17:54 -
Sideshow Bob and Selma are first seen in a pink room where Bob holds a pink-wrapped object beside a potted…
“That's Spanish for... I am going to kill you.”
17:54–18:06 -
Marge's twin sister, Patty or Selma sits in a reclining chair in a dim room at night, scowling…
“Well, time for my walk.”
18:06–18:17 -
Homer, Marge holding Maggie, Bart and Lisa sit in the living room watching TV while a blue-skinned man…
“Don't forget to die.”
18:17–18:29 -
Selma stands beside Homer, Marge holding Maggie, Bart, and Lisa in a pink living room, all gathered…
“Tonight on Begiver, Begiver, Begiver, Begiver.”
18:29–18:35 -
Bart stands in the foreground with his eyes shut and then wide open, while Patty or Selma in a purple dress…
“Aunt Selma has one hour to live. Hey, down in front.”
18:35–18:47 -
A bushy, reddish-haired yellow-skinned man in an olive shirt and blue trousers sips from a glass…
“Front desk.”
18:47–18:57 -
Sideshow Bob appears in a dim, purple-lit wreckage of splintered wood and rubble beneath a hanging lightbulb
“Poor Selma.”
18:57–19:08 -
Bart Simpson sits in a worn brown armchair in a dim room, first with his hands at his cheeks…
“Sideshow Bob I'm afraid the only victims here are the good people at best Western hotels”
19:08–19:22 -
Chief Wiggum and Bart appear in a dim room
“My best laid plans have ganged a lay chief Wiggum think you have room in your jail for a”
19:22–19:32 -
Sideshow Bob is held by two police officers at night while Selma in a pink robe and the Simpson family watch…
“Bart, I must know. How did you untangle my web?”
19:32–19:45 -
Bart squints with his hands clasped in a dark room, then Sideshow Bob grins while holding up a small handheld…
“All right.”
19:45–19:58 -
Selma sits in a reclining chair in a dim room, eyes half-lidded and smirking, while a small television glows…
“Except Aunt Selma. I permanently lost my sense of taste and smell.”
19:58–20:09 -
Homer Simpson appears at the start of the scene as a dark-lit tabletop shows an open pink-striped pack…
“All it needed to explode was a single spark, say, from a cigarette.”
20:09–20:21 -
Homer and Bart stand in a pink living room with a framed sailboat picture and a potted plant on the wall
“Dad, when Aunt Selma lights up her cigarette at the end of MacGyver,”
20:21–20:32 -
Marge and Bart stand in the pink living room, where Bart spreads his arms as he talks to her
“After trying four times to explain it to Homer, I explained it to Mom,”
20:32–20:43 -
Bart, Marge and Lisa cower together in alarm, with Bart's mouth wide open and Marge's blue beehive visible…
“No!”
20:43–20:55 -
Sideshow Bob stands between two police officers, one of them Chief Wiggum, while a pair of yellow hands…
“But wait if you saved Selma why did the room explode?”
20:55–21:07 -
Chief Wiggum grips a cigar-chewing Homer in a white shirt and blue trousers while two other officers flank…
“match in the vicinity of the prime team”
21:07–21:16 -
Sideshow Bob glares and then shouts as several police officers in grey uniforms and caps lead him…
“I'll be back you can't keep the Democrats out of the White House forever And when they get”
21:16–21:26 -
Patty and Selma stand at the left with arms crossed, while Lisa in her red dress and Bart in his orange shirt…
“I feel like such a fool.”
21:26–21:37 -
Patty and Selma stand at left beside Lisa in her red dress, while Marge stands with Homer and Bart…
“Now let's get out of this gas-filled hallway before we all suffocate.”
21:37–21:48 -
A black title card sequence of yellow credit text on a black background
21:48–21:58 -
A black screen with yellow credit text that changes across the frames
“We'll be right back.”
21:58–22:08 -
A black closing credits sequence with yellow text on a plain black background
22:08–22:19 -
No Simpsons characters appear in this moment; it is a sequence of black closing credit cards with yellow…
“Oh,”
22:19–22:29 -
A black closing credits roll for The Simpsons with yellow text on a black background
22:29–22:40 -
No animated characters appear; the scene is a black screen with yellow credit text, starting with production…
“my God.”
22:40–22:50 -
Silhouetted audience members sit in rows of seats in a dark movie theater, the largest figure…
“Shh.”
22:50–23:01
Who's in it
Bart Simpson, Homer Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson, Maggie Simpson, Moe Szyslak, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Chief Wiggum, Grampa Simpson, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Patty Bouvier, Selma Bouvier, Reverend Lovejoy, Lou, Santa's Little Helper, Eddie, Wendell Borton, Snowball II, Sideshow Mel, Helen Lovejoy, Hans Moleman, Snake, Bleeding Gums Murphy, Princess Kashmir, Abraham Lincoln, Jacqueline Bouvier, Mr. Teeny, Sideshow Bob, God, Blinky, Grim Reaper, Irving Zitsofsky, Larry Davis, The Larry Davis Experience, Colonel Coward, Dennis, Droopy Drawers, Pepito, Prison Guard, Suckup the Vacuum
Everyone who appears in it, from the Simpsons wiki. Every character