Burns, Baby Burns
The Simpsons, season 8, episode 4. First aired November 17, 1996. 136 moments of about ten seconds each: open one for its frame, what happens and what's said.
← The Homer They Fall Bart After Dark → The whole episode as text
About the episode
Mr. Burns learns that Larry Burns, a brash souvenir seller who catches a lift into town with the Simpsons, is his son from a fling at a Yale reunion. Larry's crude manners soon embarrass his father, who hands him a plant job to keep him away, and he befriends Homer there. Homer and Larry then fake a kidnapping to make Burns show he cares, ending in a police standoff.
- Written by
- Ian Maxtone-Graham
- Directed by
- Jim Reardon
- Guest stars
- Rodney Dangerfield as Larry Burns
- Couch gag
- Bubble Family
- Production code
- 4F05
The synopsis is our own. Credits and guest stars from Wikipedia and the Simpsons wiki.
Every moment
-
The scene opens on black, then drifting pale clouds against blue sky give way to the yellow-orange title text…
“The Simpsons”
0:00–0:12 -
Homer, Marge, and their kids Bart, Lisa, and Maggie and a floor lamp
0:12–0:24 -
Homer in his white shirt and Marge with her tall blue beehive, along with Bart in his orange shirt and a few…
0:24–0:36 -
Lisa stands beside a wooden sign reading "Mt. Swartzwelder Historic Cider Mill, Now 40% Quainter!" as autumn…
“What a perfect outing for a beautiful autumn day.”
0:36–0:43 -
Marge with her tall blue beehive and Maggie with her pacifier and blue bow stand together on a grassy park…
“I feel sorry for everyone who's cooped up inside watching the seventh game of the World”
0:43–0:51 -
Homer in his white shirt and blue pants, Marge with her tall blue beehive, Lisa in a red dress, Bart…
“And the cider mill operated continuously until 1941,”
0:51–0:58 -
Homer, Marge, Maggie, Bart, Lisa and Grampa stand outdoors among autumn trees by a stone wall, staring…
“When they returned, the old girl was just as they'd left her,”
0:58–1:07 -
A tour guide in a green ranger-style hat and uniform with a long blonde ponytail stands beside a wooden log…
“Right, and if you listen real carefully,”
1:07–1:20 -
Grampa, Homer, Bart, Lisa, Marge and Maggie stand together at a wooden railing, with Grampa on the left…
“One of the most historically significant fruit presses in this part of the state is based”
1:20–1:26 -
Grampa, Marge with her tall blue beehive, Lisa, Bart in his orange shirt and Maggie stand with other people…
“on a German design but modified for the last year.”
1:26–1:37 -
Ned Flanders and Homer stand before a wooden plank wall at the Mt. Swartzwelder Historic Cider Mill, each…
“Oh, sucking down the cider, huh?”
1:37–1:50 -
Ned Flanders stands in front of a wooden shelf lined with blue jugs labeled CIDER and red apples
“If it's clear and yellow, you've got juice there, fella.”
1:50–1:55 -
Homer Simpson appears in close-up against a brown wooden wall, his wide eyes staring and his mouth set…
“Now, there's two exceptions, and it gets kind of...”
1:55–2:02 -
Homer Simpson stands on a wooden floor before a log-cabin wall marked with a GIFT SHOP sign, facing a group…
“Oh, you can stay, but I'm leaving. ...and the yellow if they're using late-season apples.”
2:02–2:09 -
Marge Simpson holds baby Maggie in a blue outfit with a pacifier and blue bow while Lisa stands beside them…
“Next to spring and winter, fall is my absolute favorite season.”
2:09–2:23 -
Marge Simpson holds baby Maggie, who sucks a pacifier and wears a blue bow, while Lisa Simpson stands…
“Foliage. That's what I said.”
2:23–2:31 -
Marge Simpson and Lisa Simpson walk away along a dirt path through an autumn forest with orange and red…
2:31–2:39 -
Mr. Burns walks along a train platform beside his assistant Smithers, who wears glasses and a green jacket…
“Honestly, Smithies, I don't know why Harvard even bothers to show up.”
2:39–2:50 -
Mr. Burns and his thin assistant Smithers appear first beneath a white 'PRIVATE CAR' sign with 'YOU' crossed…
“Well, I say let Harvard have its football and academics.”
2:50–3:02 -
Mr. Burns talks with an unnamed grey-haired man in an olive jacket and glasses inside a train compartment…
“Every friend I have, I made right here. Hello, Bunsy.”
3:02–3:12 -
Mr. Burns and his thin assistant Smithers in glasses stand in a room with a red curtain and shelves of bottles
“Steady.”
3:12–3:23 -
Mr. Burns and Smithers play pool in a richly furnished room with red curtains and a lamp, then Burns peeks…
“The train has been temporarily delayed because of a discarded couch on the tracks.”
3:23–3:32 -
Mr. Burns and his thin assistant Smithers stand by a window overlooking a grassy landscape
“Oh, this may take a while, Smithers.”
3:32–3:45 -
A stout grey-haired vendor in a white shirt and red tie, wearing a Waynesport brown-ribbon pin, stands…
“Hey, customers, thank God.”
3:45–3:55 -
A heavy grey-haired man in a white shirt and red tie, who is not named in the who's-who, stands in a bus…
“How about a googly-eyed rock? Some nice local squash candy?”
3:55–4:08 -
Mr. Burns sits in a plush train car with red and teal curtains, grinning and clapping while an unnamed…
“Uh-oh. Ha-ha-ha.”
4:08–4:19 -
A heavyset, grey-haired man in a white shirt, red tie and grey trousers runs along a railway platform…
“Hey, Casey Jones, where's this train headed?”
4:19–4:30 -
A thin man in a white shirt and red tie runs along a railroad track in a flat landscape, then a heavy…
“Yeah, yeah, what state?”
4:30–4:37 -
Homer drives the family car while Marge sits beside him holding two jugs of Apple Cider
“I can honestly say that was the most fun I've ever had.”
4:37–4:51 -
Homer, driving, Marge with her tall blue beehive, Bart and Maggie with a bow sit in a purple station wagon…
“Can't they get a pole for that sign? That's a hitchhiker, Homer.”
4:51–5:03 -
Marge Simpson with her tall blue beehive, Bart Simpson in his orange shirt, and Homer Simpson in his white…
“We're not picking him up. Oh, yes, we are.”
5:03–5:14 -
Homer drives the pink family car with Marge, who has a tall blue beehive, Maggie in a baby seat, Bart…
“Hey, you folks are all right.”
5:14–5:23 -
Homer Simpson drives a purple car while a grey-haired man in a brown suit and red tie sits beside him…
“Man, it was rough getting a ride out there.”
5:23–5:34 -
Marge, Grampa, Lisa and Bart ride in the back of a car at night, with Marge and Maggie also in view…
“Grandpa, are you sitting on the pie?”
5:34–5:45 -
Lisa, Grampa, Homer, Marge, Bart, Maggie and a grey-haired man in a dark suit and red tie ride in a purple…
“He tried to kill our puppies. He sexually harassed me.”
5:45–5:55 -
A grey-haired man in a dark suit and red tie, carrying a yellow suitcase, walks up a curving driveway…
“Oh, this guy's got more bread than a prison meatloaf.”
5:55–6:09 -
Mr. Burns carries a yellow briefcase up the steps to a large brown mansion door and reaches for the handle
“Yes?”
6:09–6:20 -
Smithers is shown in close-up at first, then in a wider view with Principal Skinner, the grey-haired man…
“Well, I hate to break it to you, Larry, but if Mr.”
6:20–6:31 -
Mr. Burns sips through a straw from a green striped cup beside Smithers, his thin assistant in glasses…
6:31–6:45 -
Kent Brockman is first seen at night against a purple sky with his hands clasped at his chest, then stands…
6:45–6:53 -
Mr. Burns and a grey-haired man with a white tuft in a grey suit and red tie, stand in a library-like study…
“Now, if you'd be... It's true.”
6:53–7:03 -
A heavyset grey-haired man in a dark suit and red tie sits in a green armchair in a book-lined library…
“Pop, don't get me wrong.”
7:03–7:08 -
Mr. Burns sits in a green wingback armchair beside a brick fireplace with bright orange flames on the left
“Larry, my lad, I've gone over this story in my mind a million times.”
7:08–7:16 -
Mr. Burns sits in a high-backed green armchair beside a stone fireplace, holding a brandy glass and gesturing…
“The... no, 39.”
7:16–7:24 -
A toothy, big-nosed man with brown wavy hair in a beige suit and red tie grins with wide eyes…
“Who should appear but the unrequited love of my college years, Mimsy Bancroft.”
7:24–7:35 -
A grey-haired man with a mustache, brown suit and green tie holds a pipe beside a woman in a white hat…
“but my adoring eyes saw past those minor imperfections to her 21-year-old daughter, Lily.”
7:35–7:47 -
Bart and Lisa walk up to the lit entrance of the Peabody Museum of Natural History at night under a crescent…
“We sneaked into the nearby Peabody Museum.”
7:47–7:53 -
A blonde woman in a pink dress with a big curly hairdo and a dark-haired man in a grey coat kiss on an icy…
“we expressed our love physically, as was the style at the time.”
7:53–8:05 -
Mr. Burns sits in a deep green tufted armchair in a library, holding a brandy glass in his left hand…
“There was a terrible scandal.”
8:05–8:17 -
An unnamed heavyset older man with a white swept-up tuft of hair and grey at the sides, wearing a dark grey…
“Oh, what's to tell? I was at the orphanage till I was 18.”
8:17–8:29 -
In a book-lined library, a seated figure in a green armchair sits by a crackling fireplace while a thin man…
“Let me show you your room.”
8:29–8:35 -
Mr. Burns and a heavy man with swept white hair in a grey suit and red tie stand in a blue-walled hallway…
“Ah, Pop, nobody's ever been so nice to me.”
8:35–8:45 -
Kent Brockman stands in a doorway beside Mr. Burns, a frail, stooped old man with a hooked nose and blue-grey…
“Now then, in case you get bored, here's the playroom.”
8:45–8:56 -
Two men stand in a theater with rows of red seats: a brown-haired man in a white shirt and red suspenders…
“Close this show. Close it, I say.”
8:56–9:09 -
Homer and a heavy older one-off character with grey hair at the sides, a red tie and an ID badge sit side…
“Hey, you're that hitchhiker. What are you doing here?”
9:09–9:19 -
Homer Simpson sits beside a heavyset older man with grey hair, a red tie and an ID badge at a nuclear plant…
“relax.”
9:19–9:30 -
Homer Simpson is first seen at a control panel in a nuclear plant, then the scene cuts to the Simpson house…
“So lazy.”
9:30–9:41 -
Marge sits at the dinner table with her chin in her hand, eyes half-closed and mouth open in a yawn…
“I think we've heard enough about Larry Burns for one evening.”
9:41–9:52 -
Mr. Burns grabs the lapel of a heavyset older man with neat grey hair in a black tuxedo in an ornate hall…
“Hey, Pop, this crowd is pretty swanky. I'm not going to fit in here.”
9:52–9:58 -
Mr. Burns fusses with the bow tie of a heavy, grey-haired man in a black tuxedo in a formal room
“Hey, Pop, this crowd is pretty swanky. I'm not going to fit in here.”
9:58–10:11 -
Principal Skinner stands beside an older bald man with a white mustache who wears a blue naval uniform…
“Where'd you start out, on the Merrimack?”
10:11–10:18 -
Mr. Burns stands at a formal party in a dark tuxedo beside a heavy, grey-haired man in a black tuxedo…
“That's such insupportable.”
10:18–10:31 -
Mr. Burns appears at a formal banquet alongside a woman in a purple gown and tiara and a grey-haired man…
“Whoa, put her back in. She's not done yet.”
10:31–10:43 -
Mr. Burns and his thin assistant Smithers stand together in tuxedos holding small plates with dessert…
“I can't quite put my finger on it. Well, he is a bit rough around the edges, sir.”
10:43–10:49 -
Smithers stands at a buffet table beside Mr. Burns, a frail, stooped old man with a hooked nose and grey hair…
“Pull up a seat, Pop. You too, Chuckles.”
10:49–10:59 -
Mr. Burns and his thin assistant Smithers stand in formal black tuxedos with bow ties at a gathering…
“Ugh.”
10:59–11:09 -
Two older characters stand side by side in a dim, wood-paneled room lined with bookshelves: on the left…
“Oh, yes. He made light of my weight problem,”
11:09–11:20 -
Patty or Selma stands beside a grey-haired man in glasses, a brown jacket and a blue sweater, while thin…
“How are his test scores? Let's just say this.”
11:20–11:31 -
A heavyset, balding older man with grey hair at the sides, black-rimmed glasses, a brown jacket, blue sweater…
“Well, frankly, test scores like Larry's would call for a very generous contribution.”
11:31–11:40 -
A stout, grey-haired man in glasses, a brown jacket and a red tie stands in a library before tall…
“For example, a score of 400 would require a donation of new football uniforms,”
11:40–11:49 -
Mr. Burns leans over a purple desk in a bookshelf-lined study while a grey-haired woman with glasses…
“Are you mad?”
11:49–11:59 -
Mr. Burns glowers at his thin assistant Smithers, who stands beside him in a library lined with bookshelves…
“Uh, it appears he's gone drinking, sir.”
11:59–12:06 -
Moe stands behind a bar lined with bottles and upturned glasses, jotting on a notepad while a heavy older man…
“Hey, handsome, send the bill to my dad.”
12:06–12:15 -
Homer sits at the bar beside Moe, the grey-haired bartender in a white shirt and red tie, under a Duff sign…
“What's everybody in this burg have against my dad?”
12:15–12:22 -
Mr. Burns sits at the near end of a long banquet table in a grey suit, sipping from a cup, while Homer sits…
12:22–12:30 -
Mr. Burns sits at the near end of a long table draped in yellow cloth, while Homer sits midway along it…
“Oh, this is some party.”
12:30–12:38 -
A heavy older man with swept grey hair, a grey suit and a red tie sits at a formal dining table…
“Jeez, come on, Dad.”
12:38–12:49 -
Mr. Burns and Homer sit at a dining table in a formal purple-and-gold room with a suit of armor and wall…
“And is he a constant disappointment? Does he bring home nitwits and make you talk to them?”
12:49–12:59 -
Mr. Burns wears a teal suit and black tie in an ornate dining room with purple panels, gold trim, candle…
“Dad.”
12:59–13:11 -
Homer sits alone at a long gold-draped table marked with a TMB emblem, while Mr. Burns stands at the right…
“Eh, I should go.”
13:11–13:17 -
Homer Simpson and an older man in a grey suit with a red tie and swept-up grey hair, first stand…
“Don't you love me anymore?”
13:17–13:31 -
Homer stands beside an unnamed grey-haired man in a dark suit and red tie, who holds a pink drink…
“It's so unfair.”
13:31–13:45 -
Homer Simpson and a grey-haired man in a dark jacket and red tie, who is not Mr. Burns or any named regular…
“And that is a phony kidnapping.”
13:45–13:56 -
A heavy, grey-haired man in a dark jacket, white shirt and red tie stands outdoors at night under a purple…
“I know what I gotta do. I gotta clean up my act.”
13:56–14:08 -
Mr. Burns first stands in a red robe beside a wooden door, holding a letter and a crumpled envelope…
“Your son has been kidnapped.”
14:08–14:20 -
Mr. Burns and Smithers stand at a wooden desk in a room lined with bookshelves of colorful books
“I won't rest until he's returned to me. Not to be impertinent, sir,”
14:20–14:27 -
Mr. Burns leans on a desk across from an unnamed man in a green sweater with glasses and grey hair
“It's the principal, Smithers.”
14:27–14:35 -
Chief Wiggum and a thinner police officer with short black hair stand in a room lined with bookshelves…
“All right, Mr. B. When the kidnappers call with the ransom demand,”
14:35–14:49 -
Marge Simpson stands in a pink room where a tangle of cords runs from a power strip across the teal floor…
“Hmm.”
14:49–15:00 -
Homer, Grampa, Lisa and Bart sit together on a brown couch in a cluttered basement with a fan, a small TV…
“What are you doing in the basement?”
15:00–15:10 -
Homer sits on a brown sofa with a stocky, grey-haired man in a green polo shirt, who holds a soda can…
“And what's that hitchhiker doing here? Is every drifter we meet going to move in with us?”
15:10–15:23 -
Moe sits on a brown couch holding a can while Lisa in her red dress and pearl necklace and Bart in orange…
“Hey, how you doing? Ooh, look at your hair.”
15:23–15:27 -
Lisa and Bart sit side by side on a brown couch in a living room
“He's kidding, Mom. But seriously, I'd love to have hair like yours.”
15:27–15:38 -
Homer, an older grey-haired man, Lisa and Bart sit together on a brown couch in a cluttered living room…
“Hey, kids, how about a hand for your mom?”
15:38–15:50 -
Chief Wiggum stands at left with a hand to his head while Mr. Burns presses a black telephone to his ear…
“Uh, hui hui? Hello, Mr. Burns.”
15:50–16:01 -
Homer Simpson stands beside Mr. Burns, the frail, stooped old man with a hooked nose and grey hair…
“If you really love Larry, prove it. And you can have him back today.”
16:01–16:12 -
Mr. Burns holds a black phone to his ear at the right of a cluttered office, while Homer reacts with wide…
“Don't you care about your son. This is more important than money.”
16:12–16:22 -
Chief Wiggum talks beside a thin uniformed officer wearing a headset-style earpiece, both standing in front…
“Beautiful.”
16:22–16:33 -
Homer, Lisa, Bart, and Grampa sit around a card table in a cluttered storeroom stacked with boxes and papers…
“Hey, I think I got a pie gal.”
16:33–16:43 -
Kent Brockman sits holding a clipboard in front of a television window showing a government building…
“This is Kent Brockman in Chopper Copter 6 with a special report.”
16:43–16:56 -
Marge Simpson stands behind a wooden counter in front of a stack of papers and a purple television, first…
“You know how I feel about hoaxes. Still?”
16:56–16:59 -
Homer sits at a table playing cards with an older, heavyset man in a green polo shirt who has white…
“I want you to take Larry back to Mr. Burns right now, before you get in a lot of trouble.”
16:59–17:11 -
Grampa and Homer climb a wooden staircase in a cluttered room of cardboard boxes and a blue polka-dot kiddie…
“Of course, we'll bring you updates just as soon as they...”
17:11–17:20 -
Homer Simpson knocks on a front door while a white-haired man in a green sweater stands on the path beside him
“Whoa, wait a minute! There they are, Larry Burns and his kidnapper.”
17:20–17:33 -
Marge looks sideways and speaks in a close-up before the scene opens on a pink car driving down a city street…
“Well,”
17:33–17:41 -
Homer and a heavy man in a green polo shirt with grey hair, crouch and then run across a mesh-floored area…
“we gotta find some place to hide.”
17:41–17:53 -
Outside the Springfield Costume Shop, a man in a red vest and dark hat stands in the doorway beside a figure…
“Hey buy a costume or get out fellas”
17:53–18:04 -
A bald, heavyset man in a white shirt and blue pants stands on a sidewalk beside an older, grey-haired heavy…
“Hey buy a costume or get out fellas”
18:04–18:15 -
Homer Simpson and an older grey-haired man in a green shirt carry popcorn tubs and drinks down the aisle…
18:15–18:19 -
Homer and Moe sit side by side in a dark movie theater, each holding a red-and-white striped popcorn bucket
“They'll never look for us here.”
18:19–18:30 -
Homer and a grey-haired man in a green polo shirt sit eating popcorn and sipping drinks in a movie theatre…
“You don't like it? Call the cops.”
18:30–18:40 -
Mr. Burns stands beside a police car with flashing red and blue lights behind him while an officer in a cap…
“This is Kent Brockman, live from the Aztec Theatre,”
18:40–18:53 -
Lisa, Marge and Bart sit side by side on a brown couch in their living room, staring wide-eyed in alarm
“Give yourself up, homie. No, Dad. Shoot your way out.”
18:53–19:01 -
Homer Simpson lies face-down on a red carpet strewn with glass shards in a lobby with shattered glass doors…
“A bloody end for Homer Simpson.”
19:01–19:12 -
Lisa, Marge, and Bart sit side by side on a brown couch in the living room, Lisa with her mouth open…
“Now, here's how it would look if the police killed him with a barrage of baseballs.”
19:12–19:24 -
Chief Wiggum stands in a theater aisle beside two other officers, one a tall officer with a grey-blue cap…
“Still warm.”
19:24–19:36 -
Homer and an older man in a grey-haired, heavy build scramble across the green roof of a theater marquee…
“Don't be a fool, Simpson.”
19:36–19:47 -
Homer Simpson stands on a ledge behind a billboard reading "UKAKIS BO DEREK IN
“Wait.”
19:47–19:57 -
Mr. Burns stands at night beside his thin assistant Smithers, who wears glasses and a pink bow tie
“We faked the whole thing.”
19:57–20:09 -
Homer and Mr. Burns stand atop a theater marquee reading "DUKAKIS BO DEREK IN MANY GRANDMAS"…
“Hold on, Mr. Burns.”
20:09–20:11 -
Homer Simpson stands beside a grey-haired man in a green polo shirt and dark trousers, who is not one…
“Maybe we did fake a kidnapping, but is that really such a crime?”
20:11–20:24 -
Bart, Lisa, Marge, and baby Maggie stand at night in front of a row of police officers and a parked police…
“And sure, sometimes my kids can be obnoxious or boring or stinky,”
20:24–20:37 -
Mr. Burns stands facing a heavy, grey-haired man in a green polo shirt in a crowded street at night…
“How about it, Pop?”
20:37–20:42 -
Mr. Burns stands in a crowd wearing a green jacket, white shirt and black tie, scowling and speaking…
“There, there, sonny boy.”
20:42–20:50 -
Mr. Burns embraces a heavy man with a grey pompadour and green shirt in a crowded street while a police…
“There, there, sonny boy.”
20:50–20:57 -
Mr. Burns stands at the front of a crowd in a teal jacket and black tie, with a large bald dome
“I'm sorry, Larry.”
20:57–21:02 -
A heavyset, grey-haired man in a dark green polo shirt and wristwatch stands in front of a crowd…
“I can't be the family that you need. Oh, that's okay.”
21:02–21:11 -
Moe and Mr. Burns stand among a crowd of onlookers outdoors at night under a purple sky
“Well, son, delighted to have met you.”
21:11–21:25 -
Homer stands before a crowd gathered by a Channel News van, and the people around him cheer with raised fists…
“As long as everybody's here, let's party!”
21:25–21:37 -
Lisa stands in the front with a pearl necklace, while Marge in her green dress and orange bead necklace…
“Who's playing that music?”
21:37–21:48 -
A blonde woman in a light blue dress and a man in a white shirt and blue pants dance on top of a red vehicle…
“So hold tight, hold tight Oh, baby,”
21:48–21:58 -
The moment is a black screen with gold credit text in a stylized font
“So hold tight, hold tight Oh, baby,”
21:58–22:09 -
No Simpsons characters appear in this moment; it is a black closing credits sequence with gold lettering…
“that's the way you need it Anywhere you want it,”
22:09–22:19 -
No Simpsons characters appear in this moment; the screen is black with gold credit text in sequence, naming…
“she said I was alone,”
22:19–22:29 -
Which is a black screen with gold credit text in a hand-lettered typeface
“Then we're touched Then we sang”
22:29–22:39 -
Silhouetted audience members sit in rows of theater seats in a dim room, one with a large round head…
“every night Shh”
22:39–22:49
Who's in it
Bart Simpson, Homer Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson, Maggie Simpson, Moe Szyslak, Grampa Simpson, Principal Skinner, Ned Flanders, Barney Gumble, Chief Wiggum, Lenny Leonard, Mrs. Krabappel, Mr. Burns, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, Otto Mann, Jasper Beardsley, Reverend Lovejoy, Groundskeeper Willie, Lou, Eddie, Maude Flanders, Rod Flanders, Larry Dalrymple, Hans Moleman, Luann Van Houten, Bernice Hibbert, Ruth Powers, Dr. Nick, Herman Hermann, Alice Glick, Jacqueline Bouvier, Disco Stu, Dowager, Handsome Pete, Admiral Carstairs, Débutante, Larry Burns, Actor 1, Actor 2, Conductor, Costume Shop Clerk, Dink, Fancy Chef, Female Yale Admissions Agent, Janitor, Lily Bancroft, Male Yale Admissions Agent, Mimsy Bancroft, Randy
Everyone who appears in it, from the Simpsons wiki. Every character