All Singing, All Dancing
The Simpsons, season 9, episode 11. First aired January 4, 1998. 130 moments of about ten seconds each: open one for its frame, what happens and what's said.
← Miracle on Evergreen Terrace Bart Carny → The whole episode as text
About the episode
Homer rents Paint Your Wagon expecting a violent Clint Eastwood and Lee Marvin Western, only to find it is a musical, and he denounces singing. The family reminds him how often they have sung, setting up clips such as Lyle Lanley's monorail number and Mr. Burns's "See My Vest," while Snake keeps climbing in through the open window to threaten them.
- Written by
- Steve O'Donnell
- Directed by
- Mark Ervin
- Guest stars
- Phil Hartman as Lyle Lanley
- Patrick Stewart as Number One
- Chalkboard gag
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones.
- Couch gag
- Treadmill
- Production code
- 5F24
The synopsis is our own. Credits and guest stars from Wikipedia and the Simpsons wiki.
Every moment
-
Homer and Bart appear in a suburban driveway beside a yellow garage and a pink car
“The Simpsons”
0:00–0:12 -
Homer stands at the edge of a red bed in a purple room, gesturing with one arm and looking startled…
“I've done this crazy thing!”
0:12–0:23 -
Marge stands with Maggie in her arms, while Homer in his white shirt and Bart in his orange shirt stand…
“We got the popcorn.”
0:23–0:36 -
Homer and Lisa stand together in a pink room beside a red lampshade lamp and a framed picture of Maggie…
“Did you get Emma? Did you get Emma? Did you, did you, did you, huh?”
0:36–0:47 -
Homer Simpson stands in the pink living room in front of a framed sailboat picture, first holding a green…
“Something very close exactly along those lines.”
0:47–0:55 -
Bart Simpson stands in front of a blue television set in the living room, first holding a black remote…
“So prepare yourself for the bloody mayhem and unholy carnage of Joshua Logan's Paint Your”
0:55–1:06 -
A yellow-skinned man in a brown hat and red vest, unnamed, smokes a cigarette and then drives a horse-drawn…
“Hey!”
1:06–1:16 -
A stern, grey-mustached old man in a black wide-brimmed hat appears in close-up against a pale sky and hills…
“That's a pretty sorry-looking wagon you got there, mister.”
1:16–1:26 -
Two characters stand on a dusty western-style street beside a wooden wagon and a brown horse, with a building…
“Well, what are we waiting for?”
1:26–1:37 -
A poncho-wearing cowboy and an old man in a dark suit and black hat, who resembles Mr. Burns, stand…
“We ain't bragging, we're gonna coat that wood.”
1:37–1:48 -
Homer sits on a brown couch in a pink living room, first with his hands raised to his head in alarm…
“They ain't pregnant, they're gonna cook that wood They're singing!”
1:48–2:02 -
Three one-off characters stand in a Western-style town street: an elderly white-haired man with a long white…
“What the hell is going on in my town?”
2:02–2:15 -
An elderly white-bearded man in a black top hat and grey coat and a brown-haired man in an orange cowboy hat…
“You missed a spot.”
2:15–2:26 -
An elderly white-bearded man in a top hat and grey coat walks beside a large green wagon on a dusty western…
“Gonna paint your wagon, gonna paint it fine.”
2:26–2:37 -
Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and baby Maggie gather in the pink living room, where Bart gapes and Lisa scowls…
“Yee-haw!”
2:37–2:51 -
Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie are in the pink living room near the kitchen
“Why did they have to screw up a perfectly serviceable wagon story with all that fruity”
2:51–3:02 -
Homer, Marge, Lisa, Maggie and Bart are gathered in the pink living room with its brown couch, purple lamp…
“No, I don't. I hate to rhyme. You like musicals, don't you, Dad?”
3:02–3:13 -
Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and baby Maggie are in the pink living room
“You're singing a song. I wouldn't, I couldn't, I hate that stuff.”
3:13–3:26 -
Homer in a red jacket, heavy Barney with messy brown hair in a brown jacket, grey-haired Principal Skinner…
“We have plainly seen your singing, dancing, entertainment machine.”
3:26–3:39 -
A crowd of yellow cartoon characters first gathers on the roof of Moe's bar on a street lined with shops…
“how I'm adored.”
3:39–3:50 -
A cartoon masked figure in a black bodysuit with red trim, red gloves, round goggles, a red-and-black hood…
“Come on!”
3:50–3:54 -
A freckled red-haired newsboy in a brown cap, cream turtleneck and tan overalls, carrying a satchel…
“Extra, extra!”
3:54–4:06 -
A thin man with dark wavy hair in a dark suit sits behind the window of a black limousine while onlookers…
“It's been done.”
4:06–4:14 -
Chief Wiggum stands at the front of a row of uniformed officers and onlookers outside a pink building…
“That old sign can't be ignored. Pretty, huh, Chief?”
4:14–4:24 -
Homer stands at the left edge of the roof of Moe's with his arms raised, beside a spiky black-haired man…
“It's a trip to paradise With my baby”
4:24–4:32 -
Chief Wiggum carries a slatted wooden bench past a crowd gathered outside Moe's at night, while Homer…
“Dad, we can't let this happen to Belle. Do something.”
4:32–4:41 -
Mr. Burns works a jackhammer on the lawn of a blue house while a bespectacled man in a red sweater swings…
“My friends, stop!”
4:41–4:51 -
Homer stands on a blue-sided porch at night in front of a crowd, with several women in pink feathered…
“You could close down Moe's or the Quickie Mart,”
4:51–5:02 -
Homer stands with two feathered showgirls in purple bras and a grey-haired woman in a long dark red dress…
“and nobody would care but the heart and”
5:02–5:13 -
A grey-haired older woman in a maroon gown with a cigar in her mouth, along with several showgirls in pink…
“We're the sauce on your steak We're the cheese in your cake We put”
5:13–5:25 -
Ned Flanders in his green sweater and Mrs. Krabappel with her tall brown hairdo and red skirt stand at night…
“the spring in Springfield We're the lace on the nightgown The point”
5:25–5:38 -
Outside a purple clapboard house with bushes and windows, a row of onlookers stands on a sidewalk: a suited…
“existence extra nice. A giddy little thrill at a reasonable price.”
5:38–5:50 -
Mr. Burns leans out of an upstairs window in a white shirt, red bow tie and suspenders, then raises a hand…
“Our skimpy costumes ain't so bad. They seem to entertain you, Dad.”
5:50–6:01 -
Chief Wiggum, Krusty the Clown, and a brown-haired man in a pink shirt lean out of a dormer window of a blue…
“Yes, we keep the in Springfield.”
6:01–6:11 -
Grampa dances in front of a blue house while a marching band of old men in sailor caps plays trombone…
“Come on now, you were working here. Without it, we'd have had no fun since March of 1961.”
6:11–6:25 -
Four dancers in pink feathered headdresses, bikinis and yellow stockings kick and strut along a grassy lawn…
“We're the highlights of your hairdo. The extra arms on Vishnu.”
6:25–6:36 -
Ned Flanders in his green sweater and Carl in his grey jacket and pink sweater stand with a bald man…
“We won't take the...”
6:36–6:45 -
Homer and Bart stand on the porch of a large blue mansion, flanked by costumed dancers in pink and a woman…
“In spring beer.”
6:45–6:56 -
Bart stands in the living room in front of a brown couch and a lamp, first pondering with a finger…
“Mom was right.”
6:56–7:08 -
Marge Simpson stands in the living room by the window and curtains, talking and gesturing, then tugs…
“I'm sure your dad's singing could make your hair curl.”
7:08–7:19 -
Bart and Milhouse, who has blue hair and red glasses and wears a lavender shirt and red shorts, share a large…
“Ah!”
7:19–7:32 -
Bart stands by a chain-link fence in front of an orange wall with a partly visible sign reading "CUS
“Whoa, that's good squishy.”
7:32–7:43 -
Bart Simpson and Milhouse stand outside beside an orange wall, a wall phone and a chain-link fence
“Give me that!”
7:43–7:53 -
Bart Simpson and Milhouse first stand together by a glass door, Bart holding a cup with a green top…
“Let's go crazy Broadway style!”
7:53–8:03 -
Milhouse and Bart first stand on a high ledge near a dark pole, pointing outward with their arms
“The school yard's up and the shopping mall's down.”
8:03–8:07 -
Bart Simpson and Milhouse stand on a dark blue backdrop and gesture with outstretched arms, then Bart…
“Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield.”
8:07–8:21 -
Bart stands at a counter beside a man in a grey suit with swept-back blond hair who gestures with open hands…
8:21–8:33 -
Bart Simpson and Milhouse stand in a theater aisle among spilled cups and bottles while seated audience…
8:33–8:45 -
Homer Simpson first stands by a pink goo puddle on a tiled sidewalk beneath a Candy Shoppe sign, then picks…
“Mmm, freku.”
8:45–8:58 -
Bart and Milhouse, who has blue hair and glasses and wears a pink shirt and red shorts, stand on a night…
“Hey, don't forget that squishy.”
8:58–9:09 -
A laughing dark-skinned man with bushy grey-brown hair grins through a rapid, distorted sequence among…
“Oh, my head.”
9:09–9:21 -
Bart and Lisa stand in the living room in front of a brown couch, with Homer's legs and white shirt looming…
“That was pretty bad, Bart, but it could have been worse.”
9:21–9:30 -
Bart Simpson first stands in a purple-walled room beside a purple television and a speaker, then dances…
“I hate to dance and prance and sing.”
9:30–9:44 -
A scruffy, mullet-haired man in a denim vest with a green snake tattoo on his arm, who is not one…
“Nobody move or I'll blow your heads off.”
9:44–9:54 -
Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie huddle together on the pink living room floor, with Homer kneeling…
“Eww.”
9:54–10:07 -
Marge, with her tall blue beehive, Bart, Lisa and baby Maggie with her pacifier and blue bow huddle together…
“Please spare my children.”
10:07–10:16 -
Nelson stands by the living room window holding a shotgun while Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and baby Maggie…
“For hostage purposes, you're just too weird.”
10:16–10:27 -
Homer Simpson sits on a brown couch in the living room with a sailboat painting on the pink wall, his hand…
“See, all this singing scared him away.”
10:27–10:35 -
Lisa Simpson stands in the pink living room with framed portraits of Homer and Marge on the wall, gesturing…
“There's Mr. Burns, there's Krusty, and even Appu.”
10:35–10:44 -
Apu stands at the kitchen table with his hands clasped while Homer, Marge, Lisa, Bart and Maggie sit…
“Whether igloo, hot, or lintu, or a geodesic dome,”
10:44–10:54 -
Apu swings down a purple-railed staircase with a cane while Homer, Marge holding Maggie in a blue bow, Bart…
“When I first arrived, you were all such church, but now I've come to love.”
10:54–11:05 -
Apu leans on a wooden cane beside Bart in his orange shirt and then Homer in his white shirt in a pink living…
“Lisa can philosophize, parts adept at spinning lies.”
11:05–11:16 -
Apu stands in a pink room with Homer, Bart, Lisa and Marge gathered around him
“Now here's the tricky part.”
11:16–11:25 -
Marge with her tall blue beehive and red beads, holding Maggie in a blue bow and pacifier, grins…
“Their floors are sticky mart.”
11:25–11:34 -
In a pink hallway, Apu sits on a red wooden chair holding a stick, then stands on it and holds a cane…
“Who needs the quickie mart? Not me.”
11:34–11:47 -
Apu first stands on an orange chair in a pink room, gesturing with his arms and waving a cane while Homer…
“Not me.”
11:47–11:50 -
Marge, holding baby Maggie, Lisa, Bart, and Homer stand in the living room in the first frames, with Grampa…
“Everything really wrapped up nicely.”
11:50–12:01 -
Homer Simpson, Marge Simpson with baby Maggie in her lap, Lisa Simpson and Bart Simpson sit side by side…
“And we've all found happiness.”
12:01–12:12 -
Apu sits hunched on a rooftop against a huge full moon at night, first looking down with a sour expression…
“Who needs that quickie mart?”
12:12–12:24 -
Homer, Marge, Maggie, Lisa and Bart stand together against a flat blue background in the first part…
“Hey, he's not happy at all.”
12:24–12:32 -
Krusty the Clown appears in a black tuxedo and red cummerbund on a glowing stage, first seated on a round…
“Live from Springfield, the entertainment capital of this state,”
12:32–12:44 -
Krusty the Clown sits on a stage edge under glowing marquee lights and sings into a handheld microphone
“Send in the clowns,”
12:44–12:55 -
Krusty the Clown sings into a handheld microphone against a dark blue background
“Send in those soulful and doleful,”
12:55–12:59 -
Krusty the Clown sings into a microphone while seated on the edge of a striped stage platform beneath marquee…
“schmaltz by the bowful clowns.”
12:59–13:12 -
Krusty the Clown performs on a dark stage under a glowing pink marquee reading KRUSTY, first pacing…
“They're already”
13:12–13:25 -
Krusty hugs a thin man in a black tuxedo and red sash who has a tall blue bouffant topped with a bone…
“I love you, Krusty.”
13:25–13:36 -
Bart and Lisa cling to a narrow ledge outside a blue building, reaching toward their windows before peeking…
“Are you sure you want to go through with this, sir?”
13:36–13:48 -
Mr. Burns holds Santa's Little Helper and a framed picture
“For you see, some men hunt for sport,”
13:48–13:59 -
Mr. Burns and his thin assistant Smithers in glasses, a green jacket and pink bow tie stand in a purple room…
“is an outfit that looks good.”
13:59–14:10 -
Mr. Burns stands in a richly decorated clothing shop with chandeliers, racks of coloured garments and a Santa…
“See my vest, see my vest made from real gorilla chest.”
14:10–14:21 -
Mr. Burns appears first in a blue jacket, grey trousers and a black cape against a magenta curtain, flapping…
“See this hat, it was my cat, my evening wear vampire bat.”
14:21–14:31 -
Mr. Burns first fiddles with a pink poodle-headed puppet in a cluttered clothing shop lined with coats…
“Greasly bear underwear, turtle's necks, I've got my share.”
14:31–14:43 -
Mr. Burns appears in a spotlight among rows of colorful suits hanging on racks
“Like my loafers, former gophers. Gophers, it was that.”
14:43–14:49 -
Mr. Burns wears a blue suit and a white hat while holding a red cane in a purple room with a wall lamp…
“Like my loafers, former gophers. Gophers, it was that.”
14:49–15:01 -
Mr. Burns shows off the brown furry vest under his open blue suit jacket against a brown wooden wall, first…
“See my vest, see my vest. Oh, please,”
15:01–15:14 -
Lisa Simpson and Bart Simpson crouch side by side on a narrow blue ledge outside a diamond-paned window…
“I gathered you. We gotta get the dogs out of there.”
15:14–15:20 -
Lisa Simpson in her orange dress and pearl necklace, Bart in his orange shirt and blue shorts, Homer…
“we overheard his plan And could save those dogs from that mean old man It”
15:20–15:30 -
A rough-looking man with swept-back reddish hair, a hoop earring, a snake tattoo on his arm and a blue denim…
“I'm back, Sir Resume,”
15:30–15:43 -
Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie stand together in the pink living room beside a framed sailboat painting…
“Ugh, I knew I should have shut that window”
15:43–15:56 -
Homer is in a pink room with a sailboat picture when a yellow hand holding a brown shotgun swings its barrel…
“Uh-oh, I'll be back when I get some ammo!”
15:56–16:05 -
Homer and Marge stand in the pink living room beside a red arched doorway, with Lisa visible at the bottom…
“Bye!”
16:05–16:16 -
Marge with her tall blue beehive, Lisa, Bart, Maggie with her pacifier, and Homer stand together in the pink…
“Our churches, our clubs,”
16:16–16:20 -
Bart and Lisa Simpson are in the family living room, with a purple television on the left, a bookshelf…
“our government too Springfield swings like a pendulum do”
16:20–16:32 -
Lisa Simpson stands with her arms crossed and mouth open in a pink living room while Marge with her tall blue…
“We can't even get any local laws passed Without everyone singing”
16:32–16:41 -
An unnamed man in a purple suit and blue tie, with brown hair, stands at a wooden podium in front of a red…
“Very well We will now hear suggestions for the disbursement of the $2 million.”
16:41–16:52 -
A crowd sits and stands in a hall with a brown door and a framed painting, and a smooth-talking man in a red…
“You know, a town with money is a little like the mule with a spinning wheel.”
16:52–17:05 -
A stocky, white-haired man in a red jacket, red bow tie, tan vest and straw boater hat with a red band stands…
“Mule. The name's Landly.”
17:05–17:17 -
A slim, grey-haired man in a straw boater hat, red jacket, red bow tie and tan vest first stands…
“Now, wait just a minute.”
17:17–17:29 -
A red-jacketed salesman in a straw hat, one-off character not a regular, pulls a white sheet off a table…
“I give you the Springfield Monorail.”
17:29–17:40 -
Ned Flanders in his green sweater and Patty and Selma with grey-violet hair are among a seated crowd…
“and by gum it put them on the map.”
17:40–17:51 -
Moe stands with a bald, stubbled, heavy man in a white shirt and blue tie and a man with brown hair…
“Monorail.”
17:51–17:56 -
Grampa plays a blue upright piano on a stage with red curtains while Apu grins from the right…
“It flies as softly as a cloud.”
17:56–18:03 -
An elderly man in a straw boater, red sweater and tan trousers plays a blue upright piano on a stage with red…
“What about us brain-dense slobs? You'll be given cushy jobs.”
18:03–18:11 -
Chief Wiggum sits on a chair holding a small cup and a penknife on a red curtained stage while a thin man…
“No good, sir. I'm on the level. The ring came off my pudding can.”
18:11–18:21 -
Grampa leads a cheering crowd with arms raised in a packed blue-walled hall, while a bald man…
“Once again.”
18:21–18:31 -
A small man in a red jacket, brown trousers and white shoes leads a large crowd of Springfield townspeople…
“Sorry, Mom. The mob has spoken. Mono!”
18:31–18:44 -
A spiky-haired boy in a brown suit carries a wicker basket marked with a 'Today's Hymns' sign down a church…
“Hymns here. I got hymns here. Get him Mother Holy, fresh from God's brain to your mouth.”
18:44–18:55 -
A man with slicked-back black hair, a white jacket, pink shirt and blue tie stands before a stained-glass…
“Uh,”
18:55–19:08 -
Principal Skinner and Mrs. Krabappel stand with Sideshow Bob, who has a huge mane of red hair and a red…
“In the Garden of Eden, honey,”
19:08–19:19 -
Milhouse stands at the left in a blue jacket beside a grey-haired man in red-framed glasses and a rust-brown…
“don't you know that I'll always be true?”
19:19–19:29 -
Homer stands beside Marge, who has a tall blue beehive, while Bart, Lisa, and a brown-haired man in a suit…
“Hey, Marge, remember when we used to make out to this hymn?”
19:29–19:41 -
Milhouse stands in front of a bald man in a red sweater and a blue-haired woman in a peach dress, all singing…
“won't you come with me again?”
19:41–19:55 -
A lavender-haired woman in glasses, an orange sweater and a pink skirt plays a two-manual organ, her hands…
19:55–20:01 -
An elderly woman with lavender hair, glasses, an orange top and a pink skirt plays a pipe organ with a music…
“Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down?”
20:01–20:11 -
Barney sits among a long row of identically robed men in red with pink collars at a banquet table in a dim…
“Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down?”
20:11–20:22 -
Krusty the Clown, Mr. Burns and Carl sit at a long wooden counter with a small green alien in a pink outfit…
“We do, we do.”
20:22–20:34 -
Homer and Krusty with green hair and a red nose drink from steins in a red-draped banquet hall with arched…
“Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?”
20:34–20:44 -
Robed men in red gowns with pink collars sit at a long wooden table strewn with spilled beer, including…
“We do, we do.”
20:44–20:48 -
Homer and Marge stand together in a doorway
“We do, we do.”
20:48–20:57 -
Homer Simpson and Marge Simpson stand together in front of a pink door in their house
“you've convinced me There are more terrible things Than musical”
20:57–21:05 -
Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie stand together in the pink living room in front of the brown arched…
“comedies where everyone sings There is”
21:05–21:15 -
Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie are in the pink living room, first cheering with arms raised…
“series Does a cheesy clip show”
21:15–21:26 -
A one-off man with swept-back reddish hair, a denim vest over a grey shirt, and a green snake tattoo…
“I'm back to commit felonious assault because your”
21:26–21:34 -
Homer, Marge, Lisa, Maggie and Bart stand together in their pink living room at night while a rough-looking…
“Another moment too soon.”
21:34–21:45 -
Marge stands in the pink living room in the first moments, while Homer kneels beside Maggie in her blue bow…
“Well, let's get eaten.”
21:45–21:55 -
The black screen shows only opening credits in yellow lettering
21:55–22:06 -
No regular Simpsons characters appear in this moment; the frames show only a black screen with yellow credit…
“Yo, I told you to stop the music, dudes.”
22:06–22:16 -
No characters appear in this sequence, which shows only a black background with yellow credit text over ten…
“Oh, oh, oh, you're so not listening.”
22:16–22:27 -
Which is a black screen filled with yellow end credits for The Simpsons
“Okay, I hear that.”
22:27–22:38 -
A row of dark silhouetted audience members sits in a theater, the one at left with a tall puffy hairdo…
“You too, Gracie Music Dude!”
22:38–22:49
Who's in it
Bart Simpson, Homer Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson, Maggie Simpson, Moe Szyslak, Milhouse Van Houten, Grampa Simpson, Principal Skinner, Ned Flanders, Barney Gumble, Chief Wiggum, Krusty the Clown, Lenny Leonard, Carl Carlson, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Mrs. Krabappel, Dr. Hibbert, Mr. Burns, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, Otto Mann, Jasper Beardsley, Ralph Wiggum, Patty Bouvier, Reverend Lovejoy, Selma Bouvier, Groundskeeper Willie, Lou, Lewis Clark, Wendell Borton, Jimbo Jones, Eddie, Miss Hoover, Maude Flanders, Rod Flanders, Kearney Zzyzwicz, Sherri Mackleberry, Terri Mackleberry, Mayor Quimby, Sideshow Mel, Kirk Van Houten, Hans Moleman, Luann Van Houten, Helen Lovejoy, Professor Frink, Agnes Skinner, Dolph Starbeam, Horatio McCallister, Snake, Dewey Largo, Sarah Wiggum, Herman Hermann, Sanjay Nahasapeemapetilon, Lunchlady Dora, Bumblebee Man, Charlie, Ms. Albright, Marvin Monroe, Martha Quimby, Jerri Mackleberry, George Harrison, Gertie Feesh, Number 51, Belle, Greyhound Puppies, Lyle Lanley, Nanny, Number One, Sailor, The Egg Council Guy, The Human Fly, Timothy Lovejoy Sr.
Everyone who appears in it, from the Simpsons wiki. Every character