Mayored to the Mob
The Simpsons, season 10, episode 9. First aired December 20, 1998. 135 moments of about ten seconds each: open one for its frame, what happens and what's said.
← Homer Simpson in: Kidney Trouble Viva Ned Flanders → The whole episode as text
About the episode
After Homer gets Mayor Quimby and Mark Hamill safely out of a riot at a science-fiction convention, Quimby hires him as a bodyguard. On the job, Homer learns that Fat Tony is supplying rat's milk to Springfield Elementary and talks Quimby into shutting the racket down. That makes the mayor a mob target, and Fat Tony and Louie go after him at a dinner-theater staging of Guys and Dolls.
- Written by
- Ron Hauge
- Directed by
- Swinton O. Scott III
- Guest stars
- Marcia Wallace as Mrs. Krabappel
- Joe Mantegna as Fat Tony
- Mark Hamill as Leavelle
- Mark Hamill
- Chalkboard gag
The President did it" is not an excuse
- Couch gag
- Compressor
- Production code
- AABF05
The synopsis is our own. Credits and guest stars from Wikipedia and the Simpsons wiki.
Every moment
-
No regular characters appear; this is the opening title sequence of The Simpsons against a bright blue sky…
“The Soup Sounds”
0:00–0:07 -
Bart is seen inside a classroom through a purple-framed window of the Springfield Elementary School building…
0:07–0:15 -
Bart stands at a classroom blackboard at Springfield Elementary, chalk in hand, writing repeated lines…
0:15–0:23 -
Homer stands at a control panel under a CAUTION sign, holding a glowing green rod while Mr. Burns…
0:23–0:36 -
Lisa Simpson plays a teal saxophone in a crowded school band room with yellow walls, a bust of a composer…
“Let's go.”
0:36–0:47 -
Bart Simpson rides his skateboard past an orange brick building with an OPEN sign, then past a tall…
0:47–0:57 -
Marge drives a car with Maggie in a car seat, a pacifier in her mouth, gripping a toy steering wheel…
“Eep, eep.”
0:57–1:08 -
The Simpsons family, Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie, sits on the red couch in the pink living room…
1:08–1:19 -
Homer, Bart standing on the couch, Marge with Maggie in her lap, and Lisa sitting on the rug in front of them…
“And now the conclusion of our thousand dollar movie, Roger Corman's Titanic.”
1:19–1:28 -
The Titanic sails past a large blue iceberg under a starry purple night sky and slowly drifts away…
“We're safe now, Clarice.”
1:28–1:40 -
Troy McClure rows a small boat with a red-haired woman in a polka-dot bikini, who turns away and fastens…
“Look out! Behind you!”
1:40–1:52 -
Homer sits on a brown couch in front of a pink wall and a framed picture of a red boat, holding a red…
“Well, I'd rather get a message than see another lousy commercial.”
1:52–1:56 -
Two green, big-headed alien characters with spiky crests and yellow-brown collars sit side by side…
“People of Earth,”
1:56–2:08 -
A yellow-faced cartoon man with a bald crown and tan fringe, and a big-eyed orange furry alien with a snout…
“That's right. It's Bi-Mom Sci-Fi Con.”
2:08–2:19 -
Shown in a Simpsons opening-credits style sequence, the scene is a robot wrestling match in an arena…
“Plus, tag team robot wrestling.”
2:19–2:32 -
Consulting producers Jace Richdale, Frank Mula, David M. Stern, Tom Gammill and Max Pross appear in this…
“Oh, you stupid little tramp! You're so boring!”
2:32–2:44 -
Homer sits on a brown couch holding a red Duff can while Bart holds a pink drink with a red straw beside him…
“Well, be twerk. Be square.”
2:44–2:56 -
Homer, Marge, Maggie holding a blue-clad baby, Bart and Lisa stand in a crowd at a store under a purple…
“Are you sure this is a sci-fi convention?”
2:56–3:06 -
A robot-like Gort figure sits signing autographs at a draped table beneath a GORT banner, with a fan in a red…
“People, people, this man has actually been in outer space.”
3:06–3:18 -
Mrs. Krabappel stands in a crowd at a fair-like event beside a man in a grey jacket and a bystander…
“Ha, nobody cares. This is one small step towards firing your ass.”
3:18–3:23 -
Bart and Lisa stand before a draped table under a "MEET Dr. Smith" banner, beside a silver robot…
“Hey, wait. I saw that Lost in Space movie.”
3:23–3:35 -
A thin, stooped old man with grey hair at the sides, wearing a green cardigan over an orange turtleneck, sits…
“You have still got it, Dr. Smith. Silence, you nickel-plated nitwit.”
3:35–3:48 -
A heavy, bald-headed cartoon man in a white Alien Biopsy T-shirt stands at a wooden comic bin…
“Someone has mixed an amazing Spider-Man in with the Peter Parker the Spectacular Spider”
3:48–3:56 -
In a cluttered shop with a Rocket poster and a rack of colorful magazines, a heavy man with reddish-brown…
“A, that is not water, it is Diet Mr. Pibb.”
3:56–4:08 -
A heavy, balding man in a white "ALIEN BIOPSY" t-shirt stands behind a comic-book counter with a magazine…
“Tell me, how do you feel about 45-year-old virgins who still live with their parents?”
4:08–4:19 -
A heavy, dark-haired man in a purple suit, blue tie and white pocket square stands at a microphone on a pink…
“Welcome, futurists, cyberphiles, and the rest of you dateless wonders.”
4:19–4:27 -
A heavy-set man with dark swept-back hair, wearing a purple suit and blue tie, stands at a microphone…
“And now to push this convention into hyperspace, the man who put the star in Star Wars,”
4:27–4:37 -
A man with swept light-brown hair in a white tunic and grey pants, wielding a glowing green lightsaber…
“Hey, thanks, everybody. You know, I'm here today as Luke Skywalker,”
4:37–4:46 -
A man with reddish-brown swept-back hair, wearing a white robe with a black belt, stands…
“Hey, thanks, everybody. You know, I'm here today as Luke Skywalker,”
4:46–4:57 -
Carl stands in a crowded auditorium beside a pink-haired woman in a maroon vest holding a white pamphlet…
“I talk about Star Wars!”
4:57–5:10 -
A man with light brown hair, in a white robe, belt and a blue-handled prop at his side, stands…
“Well, you're in luck, because we're going to act out a scene,”
5:10–5:17 -
Lenny and Carl stand in a crowded indoor hall with arched windows, banners, and a booth with a small TV among…
“Kenobi?”
5:17–5:28 -
Troy McClure stands in a crowded booth with pennant bunting, arms outstretched at first, then gestures…
“All right, step away, you foolish amateurs.”
5:28–5:39 -
Chief Wiggum is caught in a shoving crowd with Sideshow Bob's spiky red mane at the front, while Carl…
“God!”
5:39–5:50 -
A man in a white martial-arts robe with a black belt is held by the arm and shoulder by a man in a purple…
“Yeah, Gadzooks, where are my bodyguards?”
5:50–6:02 -
A young man with feathered light-brown hair in a white Jedi-style tunic and belt, holding a toy lightsaber…
“We're screwed.”
6:02–6:14 -
Lisa and Bart stand in front of a towering Homer in a white shirt and blue pants as they clasp their hands…
“Oh, poor Mark Hamill!”
6:14–6:24 -
Homer Simpson shouts and pushes into a crowded stage area where green and yellow aliens, a silver robot…
“Get out of them!”
6:24–6:33 -
Homer stands on a wooden platform beside a man in a purple suit and blue tie, while a reddish-haired man…
“I can't, Homer.”
6:33–6:44 -
Homer carries a brown-haired boy in a white jacket and grey boots through a hatch in a rivet-covered metal…
“How was I supposed to know it's not a real spaceship?”
6:44–6:54 -
Homer, Lisa and Bart run past a wooden bench near a glass-walled building, with a man in a dark purple suit…
“Oh, my God, someone has to go back in for Maggie.”
6:54–7:06 -
Homer stands beside a park bench in a city plaza, facing a young man in a white robe with a black belt…
“Well, thanks a lot, Homer. Well, it's...”
7:06–7:19 -
A heavyset man in a purple suit with brown hair sits on a bench before a glass office building, gesturing…
“Hey, boss, we were just talking about you.”
7:19–7:31 -
A stocky, dark-haired man in a purple suit and blue tie speaks and gestures outside a building with hedges…
“I'll tell you who.”
7:31–7:42 -
Homer Simpson stands in a line of trainees in white shirts and blue shorts outside Leavelle's Bodyguard…
“As a bodyguard, your only loyalty is to your protectee.”
7:42–7:55 -
Homer Simpson stands in a line of people in white shirts and blue shorts on a grassy lawn in front…
“You been doing Ramadan?”
7:55–8:07 -
Homer Simpson stands with a row of boys in matching white shirts and blue shorts on a grassy field as a man…
“Okay, listen up. My goal is to assassinate that watermelon.”
8:07–8:18 -
Homer Simpson first appears through a circular crosshair view beside a wooden podium with a gold seal…
“No!”
8:18–8:30 -
Homer kneels on the grass in a white shirt and blue shorts before a heavyset man in a tan suit and fedora…
“Now drop and give me 20.”
8:30–8:42 -
Homer stands in a row with Milhouse, who has blue hair and red-framed glasses, a brown-haired boy, and a girl…
“Not one of you fit to guard a Russian rock band.”
8:42–8:52 -
In a classroom with red paint splatters on the walls and chalkboard, a man in a grey suit and fedora stands…
“And now, in honor of your achievement,”
8:52–9:02 -
A man in a light grey suit and hat sings into a microphone and dances in a wooden-floored room with red paint…
“I will always love you.”
9:02–9:15 -
Homer talks into a cell phone in a purple kitchen while Marge stands by the counter holding a paper grocery…
“The pig is in the poke.”
9:15–9:28 -
Homer stands in a purple kitchen with a checkered floor, facing Bart in an orange shirt and Lisa in a red…
“Hold it. What's your clearance? We just want to get a snack.”
9:28–9:41 -
In a bright kitchen with a checkered floor, Marge and Homer stand near a blue-covered table while Bart…
“I'll be fine in half an hour.”
9:41–9:52 -
Homer Simpson stands in the kitchen while Marge, Bart and Lisa lie unconscious on the floor, with Marge's…
“Hmm.”
9:52–10:02 -
A heavy man with short brown hair, a purple suit and a blue tie sits in the back of a black limousine…
“Just remember, you represent the office of the mayor,”
10:02–10:12 -
Homer sits at the wheel of a limousine while an unnamed thin man in a purple suit in the back seat gestures…
“Good work, Simpson.”
10:12–10:23 -
Homer and a man in a purple suit stand in a doorway below a blue Isotopes pennant while Homer raises a hand
“or at least cleaned up that mess you made in the bathroom.”
10:23–10:30 -
Moe sprays a hose at a brown-haired man in a pink shirt who covers his face at the bar of his tavern…
“He stores a reserve for the mayor and his cronies.”
10:30–10:41 -
Homer sits at the bar with a bottle of Duff beer, while a man in a purple suit with brown hair and Moe stand…
“Keep them coming.”
10:41–10:51 -
Moe first stands behind the bar scratching his head and grinning, then slides a thick stack of green bills…
“Oh, yeah, yeah, right. Health inspection.”
10:51–11:02 -
Troy McClure sits at a bar in front of a Duff sign and counts a stack of cash, then gestures and grins…
“Yeah, you should see the hospital.”
11:02–11:11 -
Homer stands in the middle of the kitchen with Marge at the sink in the background, while Bart and Lisa carry…
“And after Moe's, we went to Krusty Burger, and the mayor got some more change,”
11:11–11:19 -
Homer stands in a purple-and-red kitchen with a microwave and a coffee maker on the counter, first talking…
“And then Apu gave the mayor lots of change for...”
11:19–11:29 -
Homer Simpson stands in a kitchen with purple cabinets and pink utensils hanging on a rail, gesturing…
“Sure, the mayor takes a few bribes, but he also makes the trains run on time.”
11:29–11:39 -
Homer stands in the kitchen between Lisa in her red dress and pearl necklace and Bart in his orange shirt…
“and recent studies have shown that...”
11:39–11:47 -
Homer stands in a red-walled restaurant holding a plate with a small green food item and a pastry, while two…
“Thank you, Mayor Quimby, for honoring us with the school milk concession.”
11:47–11:54 -
Two men sit across a round wooden table in a red-walled room with blue machines against the wall…
“Well, the good children of Springfield need their milk, and I need my...”
11:54–12:01 -
In a red-walled bar, a heavy man in a purple suit and blue tie sits at the counter beside a dollar-sign sack…
“Thank you, Fat Tony.”
12:01–12:11 -
Troy McClure stands at a red-walled bar in a dark suit, holding a martini glass and pointing…
“So, how'd you get the nickname Legs? Well, that's an interesting story.”
12:11–12:19 -
Homer Simpson in a black suit runs with Smithers, who wears glasses, and an unnamed dark-haired man in a dark…
“Hey, I called that.”
12:19–12:32 -
Homer Simpson stands in a doorway of a long lab room lined with racks of white and brown rats hooked…
“They're milking rats!”
12:32–12:44 -
The moment opens on the exterior of Springfield Elementary School, with its sign, purple columns and flagpole
12:44–12:54 -
Homer stands at the right edge of a school cafeteria, first grimacing with his tongue out and then gesturing…
“Mate, no!”
12:54–13:05 -
Homer stands in a school hallway with blue double doors and bulletin boards, while Bart in an orange shirt…
“Dad, what a nice surprise.”
13:05–13:16 -
Milhouse drinks from a milk carton held up by Homer, a bald man in a black suit, while Bart and Lisa watch…
“Go nuts.”
13:16–13:29 -
A heavy, dark-haired man in a blue tracksuit with white panels speaks at a podium beside an American flag…
“Those wacky gangsters, what are you gonna do?”
13:29–13:39 -
Homer stands beside a treadmill where a heavy man in a blue tracksuit thrusts a palm toward him and shouts…
“Okay, we'll call it even.”
13:39–13:45 -
Homer Simpson stands behind a white railing beside blue curtains at a window overlooking a brick building…
“Oh, my God, I killed the mayor.”
13:45–13:55 -
Homer pops up through a skylight on a brick-red sloped roof and shouts, then leans out and grips the glass…
“His corpse is climbing the building!”
13:55–14:02 -
Homer leans out of a window with a pale blue frame, one arm stretched toward the viewer while his other hand…
“Wait a second.”
14:02–14:11 -
Homer leans out of a window and grips the arm of a heavyset man with messy brown hair in a blue jacket…
“But the gangsters will kill me. You're forgetting.”
14:11–14:22 -
Homer leans out of a rooftop hatch and grips the hands of a man in a blue tracksuit with white stripes who is…
“Relax.”
14:22–14:26 -
A slim, brown-haired man in a blue jacket, white shirt and grey tie, not one of the regulars, hangs…
“Wait, wait, wait, wait, not so fast. I can see into the intern's restroom from here.”
14:26–14:36 -
A curly-haired man in a dark suit and blue tie and an older grey-haired man in a dark jacket sit at a card…
“Six queens.”
14:36–14:48 -
Chief Wiggum stands in the middle of a red-walled room with two uniformed officers, all three aiming…
“We're shutting you down, you filthy Italians.”
14:48–14:59 -
Chief Wiggum and two other police officers aim revolvers at a grey-haired man in a dark suit seen…
“Gentlemen, if you would simply consult my dear friend Mayor Quimby,”
14:59–15:09 -
Herb stands inside a wood-paneled bus while a crowd of reporters presses in around him, one…
“Can you edit out the laughs?”
15:09–15:12 -
A heavy, grey-haired man in a dark jacket over a teal polo shirt stands in a red-walled room with framed blue…
“I am not so much disappointed as I am blinded with rage.”
15:12–15:19 -
Homer Simpson stands in a red-walled room with a wall clock and framed pictures, facing a grey-haired man…
“Oh, what are you gonna do? Call your godfather?”
15:19–15:27 -
Homer points at the wall while two police officers, including Chief Wiggum, stand in a red-walled corridor…
“Break it down.”
15:27–15:37 -
Two police officers, one Black and one heavyset with a cap, carry a spilled milk can on a sidewalk…
“Run free, little vermin. The city is yours.”
15:37–15:51 -
Kent Brockman holds a microphone outside a salmon-pink brick wall with arched windows, interviewing a heavy…
“And so, as the rat's milk is returned to the sewers, the circle of life is complete.”
15:51–16:01 -
Kent Brockman holds a microphone outside a pink building with a brick-framed window while a uniformed police…
“Hello, Mayor Quimby.”
16:01–16:12 -
Bart sits at the right end of a brown couch in a pink living room, and Lisa sits beside him, while Homer sits…
“I mean, if I were Fat Tony, and God willing, someday I will be,”
16:12–16:25 -
Homer stands in the pink living room while Lisa in her red dress and Bart in his orange shirt sit on the red…
“After Fat Tony swore revenge?”
16:25–16:36 -
Bart sits on the brown couch in a pink living room beside Lisa, who wears a red dress, while Homer stands…
“Well, then you start it.”
16:36–16:43 -
Homer Simpson stands before a pair of double doors while a slim man with dark hair and a purple suit and blue…
“Homer, I'm not sure it's wise to go out right now.”
16:43–16:55 -
Homer Simpson stands in a purple-walled hallway with wooden doors and lattice windows, facing a stocky man…
“No, no, I truly do want to stay home with the...”
16:55–17:07 -
No characters are visible in this scene, which shows the exterior of the Springfield Dinner Theater at night…
17:07–17:09 -
Homer Simpson and tinted glasses, stands beside a heavy man in a lavender suit and blue tie against a purple…
“Excuse me.”
17:09–17:17 -
Homer stands beside a heavyset man in a purple suit with brown hair and a blue tie, while a tuxedoed man…
“Why do you talk that way? I had a stroke!”
17:17–17:25 -
Homer Simpson stands scowling in a red-curtained restaurant while holding a dark object, and at a nearby…
“Dear Lord, please make tonight's production better than Othello with Peter Marshall.”
17:25–17:38 -
Homer Simpson sits at a round table in a dim purple lounge with red curtains, facing a heavy man…
“All right, Fat Tony, if it's trouble with Quimby you're after...”
17:38–17:51 -
Homer stands before a heavy man with combed-back brown hair in a purple suit and blue tie seated at a round…
“Mayor, Fat Tony asked me to give you this.”
17:51–18:02 -
Homer confronts a heavy brown-haired man in a purple suit at a round table in a purple-walled restaurant…
“Maybe I didn't do it right.”
18:02–18:13 -
Homer Simpson stands in a dim restaurant with a LIQUOR sign behind him while a heavyset man in a purple suit…
“Uh... No!”
18:13–18:27 -
Homer and a brown-haired man in a purple suit and blue tie sit at a dinner-theater table, where Homer watches…
“Potatoes are clean. The poison must be in the steak.”
18:27–18:40 -
Backstage in a theater, a lean man with light brown feathered hair in a white robe, belt and tan wrapped-boot…
“Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, guys and dogs.”
18:40–18:48 -
A young man with shoulder-length brown hair in a white tunic and belt, holding a green lightsaber, stands…
“I don't have time for this. I got 75 shortcakes to strawberry.”
18:48–18:58 -
A young man with orange-blond hair in a white tunic, grey trousers and wrapped brown boots, a one-off…
“Guys and dolls.”
18:58–19:05 -
In a purple-walled room with a red booth and a lamp, Herb talks and gestures in the left foreground…
“Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want the mayor dead.”
19:05–19:13 -
A heavy man with bluish-grey hair, a dark jacket and a teal shirt sits at a curved wooden desk beside a slim…
“Wait, wait, wait, wait. Who was before the cat?”
19:13–19:20 -
A man in a black top hat, white tunic, grey trousers and bandaged boots, who is not one of the regular…
“Luke, be a Jedi tonight.”
19:20–19:31 -
Troy McClure performs in a white Jedi tunic with a black top hat and a green lightsaber on a stage…
“And do it for Chewie and the Ewoks. And all the other puppets.”
19:31–19:42 -
A stout man in a white chef's cap and apron with a brown stain, and a man with curly black hair in a dark…
“Hey, you're in this number. Get out there and shake that money maker.”
19:42–19:52 -
Homer Simpson sits at a round table in a dim purple-and-green cafe, while a heavy man with short brown hair…
“That guy with the knife sure can dance, huh?”
19:52–20:06 -
A thin man in a dark suit and blue tie, with dark swept-back hair, dances and leaps on a small stage…
“Hey, pal. That's my headshot up there next to the pepper steak and don't you forget it.”
20:06–20:11 -
A dark-suited man with curly black hair and a blue tie, who is not a regular, stands before a wall display…
“Hey, pal. That's my headshot up there next to the pepper steak and don't you forget it.”
20:11–20:21 -
Homer Simpson sits at a restaurant table as a thin dark-haired man in a dark green suit and blue tie holds…
“Show's over, man. Look out!”
20:21–20:32 -
Homer is pinned in a dimly lit restaurant beside a counter with a RACING bulletin board, while a man…
“Homer, use the fork. The fork? The forks.”
20:32–20:43 -
Homer Simpson stands in a purple-walled restaurant dining room with red booths and wall sconces, first…
“Yes!”
20:43–20:53 -
A grey-haired, heavyset man in a dark jacket and teal shirt grips a wooden baseball bat and swings it down…
“Oh, fat Tony.”
20:53–21:04 -
Homer first sits hunched on a low stage in a bar with RACING and LIQUOR signs, while a janitor in blue sweeps…
“I checked with the doctor. He said Mayor Quimby's gonna be fine.”
21:04–21:15 -
Homer sits hunched on a step in front of a bar window lined with bottles, while Troy McClure stands…
“Well, I'd say you were luminous, magnetic.”
21:15–21:23 -
Homer Simpson sits at a bar while Troy McClure leans in with his hand resting on Homer's shoulder
“Oh, cheer up, Homer.”
21:23–21:30 -
Homer Simpson and a thin, orange-haired man in a blue plaid shirt stand beside a grey door…
“Homer, I think you know what to do.”
21:30–21:41 -
Homer wears a black cloak-and-suit outfit and pushes through a dense crowd of fans holding white papers…
“Get out of here!”
21:41–21:51 -
Homer is seen from behind as he pushes through a dense crowd of yellow-skinned townspeople holding up white…
“Get out of the way!”
21:51–22:01 -
No cartoon characters appear in this moment; it is a black closing credits sequence with gold text on a plain…
“I will always love you”
22:01–22:11 -
No Simpsons characters appear in this moment; it is a black closing credits sequence with no people on screen
“I will always love you”
22:11–22:21 -
No Simpsons characters appear in this moment; it is a sequence of black closing credits with gold-lettered…
“I will always love”
22:21–22:31 -
A sequence of black closing credit cards with gold text on a black background
“darling I love you,”
22:31–22:41 -
Silhouetted audience members sit in rows of cinema seats, one in the foreground with a big bushy hairdo…
“oh, shh.”
22:41–22:51
Who's in it
Bart Simpson, Homer Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson, Maggie Simpson, Moe Szyslak, Milhouse Van Houten, Principal Skinner, Ned Flanders, Barney Gumble, Chief Wiggum, Lenny Leonard, Carl Carlson, Mrs. Krabappel, Dr. Hibbert, Mr. Burns, Waylon Smithers, Reverend Lovejoy, Groundskeeper Willie, Lou, Eddie, Miss Hoover, Todd Flanders, Maude Flanders, Snowball II, Rod Flanders, Mayor Quimby, Kirk Van Houten, Helen Lovejoy, Sam, Professor Frink, Bernice Hibbert, Comic Book Guy, Ruth Powers, Squeaky-Voiced Teen, Princess Kashmir, Fat Tony, Louie, Kyle Williams, Legs, Gil Gunderson, Üter Zörker, Doug, Gary, Benjamin, ALF, Ann Landers, Mr. Pettigrew, Alien 2, C-3PO, Female Nerd, Leavelle, Mark Hamill, Pedestrian, Phil, R2-D2
Everyone who appears in it, from the Simpsons wiki. Every character