The Secret War of Lisa Simpson
The Simpsons, season 8, episode 25. First aired May 18, 1997. 137 moments of about ten seconds each: open one for its frame, what happens and what's said.
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About the episode
After Bart strings several police megaphones into a chain and the blast shatters glass across Springfield, Homer and Marge send him to Rommelwood, a military academy run by a stern Commandant. Lisa, hungry for a real challenge, enrolls as its first female cadet and is shunned and hazed by the boys. Bart secretly trains her for the Eliminator, a grueling crawl along a rope strung high above thorn bushes.
- Written by
- Richard Appel
- Directed by
- Mike B. Anderson
- Guest stars
- Marcia Wallace as Mrs. Krabappel
- Willem Dafoe as The Commandant
- Couch gag
- Topsy Turvy
- Production code
- 4F21
The synopsis is our own. Credits and guest stars from Wikipedia and the Simpsons wiki.
Every moment
-
Bart stands on the roof of the pink car in the Simpsons' driveway, while Homer leans into the open hood…
0:00–0:12 -
Homer steps through a doorway into a pink-walled room, and then Homer, Marge with her tall blue beehive, Bart…
0:12–0:23 -
A crowd of schoolchildren, with a woman in a green jacket and teal earring leading them, approaches…
“Hello?”
0:23–0:35 -
Chief Wiggum holds a coffee mug and a small handheld device beside a car, with Bart among a crowd of children…
“Sorry, sorry.”
0:35–0:46 -
Chief Wiggum stands at a desk beside a typewriter and a purple answering machine while a woman with an orange…
“We'll start the tour in a second. I've just got to check the answering machine.”
0:46–1:00 -
A crowd of young yellow-skinned kids on a purple floor includes Milhouse in a pink shirt with blue hair…
“Oh, no. Mid of crime.”
1:00–1:05 -
Chief Wiggum stands beside yellow DO NOT CROSS police line tape in a blue hallway while a group of children…
“Now, what I am about to show you next may shock and educate you.”
1:05–1:18 -
Chief Wiggum stands before a crowd of children including Bart in his orange shirt, while a long-haired hippie…
“While Johnny Welfare plays acid rock on a stolen guitar,”
1:18–1:29 -
A one-off hippie woman with long blonde hair, a red-flowered headband and a purple vest stares wide-mouthed…
“She's got the munchies for a California cheeseburger.”
1:29–1:33 -
Lisa Simpson rests her chin in her hands at a classroom desk, looking bored, while a woman with glasses…
“So the next time you're walking on the beach, enjoying an hourglass,”
1:33–1:40 -
In a classroom with green walls, Mrs. Krabappel stands with arms crossed beside a blue film projector…
“Think where we'd be without sand.”
1:40–1:48 -
Lisa Simpson sits in the front row of a classroom facing a screen showing sand-like shapes, while a boy…
“Okay, that was the sand movie.”
1:48–2:00 -
Lisa Simpson sits slumped at her wooden desk in a classroom, chin propped on her hand and looking bored…
“but couldn't we be doing something a little more challenging?”
2:00–2:10 -
No regular Simpsons characters appear in this moment, which is a black-and-white animated title sequence…
“The moon.”
2:10–2:20 -
A black-and-white scene in a wood-paneled room with an American flag behind a bald, thin-faced man in a dark…
“Democratic hopeful Adlai Stevenson says so.”
2:20–2:28 -
Black-and-white animated scene on a lunar landscape under a starry sky, with retro domed towers…
“By 1964, experts say man will have established 12 colonies on the moon.”
2:28–2:37 -
A heavy man with short dark hair and a dark shirt sits at a kitchen table with a pie and a slice on a plate…
“Once there, you'll weigh only a small percentage of what you weigh on Earth.”
2:37–2:47 -
A grey, cratered moon hangs against a starry black sky in a black-and-white animated sequence, then a waving…
“The moon belongs to America and anxiously awaits the arrival of our astro”
2:47–2:56 -
Lisa Simpson sits at her desk in a pink classroom, with a boy with brown hair in a white shirt and a girl…
“Miss Hoover, the movie's over.”
2:56–3:10 -
Lisa Simpson sits nervously on a pink chair in Principal Skinner's office, hands clasped over her orange…
“It's not my nature to complain, but so far today, we've had three movies,”
3:10–3:21 -
Principal Skinner sits behind a desk in a tall red chair under framed certificates while Lisa sits in a pink…
“Of course we could make things more challenging, Lisa,”
3:21–3:32 -
Chief Wiggum stands at the left of a police station comm room beside a police radio, while a group…
“We're now in the communications room, or the comm room.”
3:32–3:36 -
Chief Wiggum stands in a police station comroo in front of a wall map and a blue radio console
“Uh, this is a police radio,”
3:36–3:47 -
Homer's large yellow hand in a blue sleeve presses buttons on a control panel covered in stickers, including…
“Uh, there's Chiquita, there's Del Monte, there's a Bananco, Gorilla's Choice.”
3:47–3:55 -
Chief Wiggum stands in a control room with a blue console and maps on the walls, lifting his hands…
“where I just need to get off my feet for a few minutes.”
3:55–4:04 -
Bart stands in front of a wall covered with rows of red-and-white megaphones hanging on hooks
“Testing.”
4:04–4:12 -
Bart stands in front of a wall covered with rows of red-and-white megaphones hanging on hooks and a wall…
“Hmm.”
4:12–4:21 -
Bart Simpson stands in a room with a tiled floor, a wall map, a window and a chair, and steps up to a long…
“Ha-ha”
4:21–4:31 -
Bart sticks his tongue out in a close-up beside a red cylindrical machine and a blue tray of buttons, one…
“Testing.”
4:31–4:45 -
A scientist with spiky green hair, glasses and a white lab coat stands at a lab bench beside a tank…
“Oh,”
4:45–4:56 -
Chief Wiggum, Bart, Lisa, Maggie held by Marge, and Homer gather in the pink living room of the Simpson…
“You really did it this time, Bart.”
4:56–5:09 -
Marge Simpson stands in the pink living room in front of a framed painting of Bart streaking across a beach…
“In about 10 to 15 seconds. I certainly hope so!”
5:09–5:14 -
Homer sits on the couch in the family living room while Bart stands beside him, with Marge, tall blue…
“Now, about your punishment, young man.”
5:14–5:26 -
Lisa, Marge holding Maggie, and Homer sit together on a red couch in a pink living room, while Chief Wiggum…
“I tell you, Chief, I just don't know what we're going to do with him.”
5:26–5:37 -
Chief Wiggum sits in a green armchair in a pink room and speaks, then his eyelids droop as he seems to tire
“How wedded are you to the Bart you know?”
5:37–5:45 -
Homer, Marge, Lisa and Maggie sit together on a dark red couch in the family living room, with Maggie held…
“Hey, what about military school?”
5:45–5:59 -
Chief Wiggum sits in a green armchair in the living room while Homer, Marge, Lisa and Maggie are gathered…
5:59–6:10 -
Homer drives a purple car while Marge sits beside Lisa peeking from behind her, with Maggie in her pacifier…
“Wow, I can't believe we're going to Disneyland.”
6:10–6:22 -
Two yellow cartoon characters sit in folding lawn chairs on a backyard patio beside a house and a wicker…
“You dream about this day for so long, then when it comes, you don't know what to say.”
6:22–6:33 -
Bart Simpson sits in the back of the purple family car, first frowning sideways and then standing…
“Military school?”
6:33–6:43 -
A uniformed guard in a blue jumpsuit and white helmet stands in a small gatehouse at the Rommelwood entrance…
“And that's how we'll mold your boy into a productive member of society through an”
6:43–6:51 -
A grey-haired man in a blue military dress uniform with a cap tucked under his arm leads the Simpson family…
“And that's how we'll mold your boy into a productive member of society through an”
6:51–6:59 -
A uniformed grey-haired man in a blue military-style dress uniform walks with Homer, Marge holding baby…
“Well, it certainly was nice of you to accept Bart in the middle of the semester.”
6:59–7:07 -
Homer and Bart stand outside a tan brick building, with Homer talking while Marge and Lisa in her red dress…
“If, uh, that happens, are we still charged for the entire semester?”
7:07–7:18 -
Marge holds baby Maggie in a pacifier and blue bow while Homer stands beside Bart in an orange shirt and Lisa…
“Look at how disciplined they are. They're just like the terracotta warriors of Xi'an.”
7:18–7:29 -
Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie stand beside a uniformed officer in a blue cap and jacket with medals…
“They're just children, Mr. Simpson.”
7:29–7:39 -
Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and baby Maggie stand at a green doorway, watching a uniformed military officer…
“But the truth can be harsh and disturbing.”
7:39–7:52 -
Homer grips Bart, a spiky-haired boy in an orange shirt, in a tight hug while Bart squirms and grimaces…
“Let go, my lady. No.”
7:52–8:02 -
Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson holding baby Maggie with her blue bow and pacifier, and Homer Simpson stand…
“Lisa, no. No! This place is just a jail for children.”
8:02–8:16 -
Lisa, Bart, Marge and Homer sit in a row of red chairs in a formal office with a flag, a fireplace…
“Alright, let's go over this one more time just to make sure I understand the situation.”
8:16–8:28 -
Lisa Simpson sits in a red chair in front of a wooden desk while a grey-haired man in a blue military uniform…
“Yes.”
8:28–8:38 -
A grey-haired man in a dark blue military-style uniform with gold trim stands with his hands clasped…
“Hmm.”
8:38–8:47 -
A grey-haired older man in a dark blue military-style uniform with gold trim stands at a large rain-streaked…
“But that seems to be the way the wind is blowing these days.”
8:47–8:58 -
Lisa salutes a grey-haired man in a dark blue uniform with gold epaulettes as he salutes back in a room…
“Lisa, if you ever want to quit and come home, I'll be here in half a jiff.”
8:58–9:05 -
Homer, Marge, Bart and Lisa are outside a large beige school building with steps, next to an orange station…
“I want to quit and come home. Oh, honey, I heard you the first time.”
9:05–9:18 -
Bart and Lisa stand on the steps outside double doors, then follow a stern, bald, heavyset man in a blue…
“Attend hut.”
9:18–9:24 -
A stern grey-haired officer in a blue uniform with medals, addressing a group of uniformed cadets…
“Gentlemen, we now have a girl cadet among our ranks,”
9:24–9:35 -
A stern, grey-haired officer in a blue military dress uniform with ribbons stands at the center…
“Second, this is now the girls' barracks, so pack your things.”
9:35–9:45 -
Bart and Lisa stand in a teal hallway beside a purple door while a line of boys in similar uniforms carry…
“Sorry, sorry.”
9:45–9:54 -
Two unnamed young men in white short-sleeved shirts with a yellow "US" logo on the collar stand outdoors…
“I can't believe they let a girl in. Don't worry.”
9:54–10:05 -
Bart and Lisa Simpson are doing push-ups in a muddy puddle while heavy rain falls
“What's the matter? Don't girls like doing push-ups in the mud?”
10:05–10:14 -
Lisa Simpson kneels in a muddy puddle in the rain, her white clothes splattered with mud, as a line of boys…
“What's the matter? Don't girls like doing push-ups in the mud?”
10:14–10:24 -
Bart and Lisa Simpson stand by the base of a large green horse statue in front of a white colonial-style…
“Hey, look, it's the school motto.”
10:24–10:33 -
Lisa Simpson is seen first in close-up looking worried, then with her mouth open as she speaks, while Bart…
“Apparently,”
10:33–10:44 -
Lisa and Bart stand near a yellow plaque reading "I'LL DIE BEFORE I SURRENDER, TIM" at the base of a green…
“I don't think I can survive here, Lise. That's how they want you to feel.”
10:44–10:55 -
A line of uniformed recruits in light blue shirts and dark blue trousers stands on a grassy field…
“Okay, that's long enough.”
10:55–11:00 -
A Black man in a white shirt and dark pants, Carl, leans against the curved side of a grey airplane fuselage…
“Had enough?”
11:00–11:13 -
Bart stands among a group of recruits on a grassy airfield beside a large propeller plane, while a bald…
“Has this lowly maggot passed the test? Yeah!”
11:13–11:26 -
A stern man in a green military uniform, camouflage helmet, and black boots stands with binoculars…
“Well, since you attended public school,”
11:26–11:37 -
A spiky-haired yellow boy in a grey shirt aims a bulky tube launcher with a thin smoke trail beside a soldier…
“Four out of five, Simpson. Impressive.”
11:37–11:48 -
Bart Simpson stands on a green field littered with spent brass shells, then Principal Skinner stands…
“Did I?”
11:48–11:57 -
Lisa Simpson runs across a grassy lawn past a small beige booth, firing a machine gun that sprays bullet…
“Um, could someone help me?”
11:57–12:07 -
A boy with spiky hair in a grey tracksuit runs across a grassy field past a girl with spiky hair…
“Oh, oh.”
12:07–12:16 -
Lisa Simpson appears first in a grey tracksuit holding a whistle on a grass field scattered with yellow…
“I am just calling home.”
12:16–12:26 -
Homer lounges on the brown couch in his white shirt, head tipped back, while a heavy man in a blue shirt…
“Marge!”
12:26–12:35 -
Homer Simpson lies sprawled on the brown couch in his white shirt, holding a remote control, while Santa's…
“Go get it.”
12:35–12:44 -
Lisa Simpson dials a keypad payphone in a green hallway, then the scene cuts to the yellow Springfield…
“Oh.”
12:44–12:55 -
Grampa Simpson stands against a yellow wall beside a black wall-mounted rotary phone, a window with green…
“Oh, Grandpa, you're not busy, are you? Well, you're really asking two questions there.”
12:55–13:05 -
A girl with spiky yellow hair in a light blue shirt and blue pants holds a keypad payphone receiver…
“Admiral Byrd had just reached the pole, only hours ahead of the Three Stooges.”
13:05–13:14 -
Grampa sits in a dark green armchair in a yellow room, holding a black receiver to his ear while a corded…
“The next thing I heard, there was civil war in Spain.”
13:14–13:23 -
Lisa stands at a payphone beside a keypad, pressing the receiver to her ear, while Grampa sits slumped…
“call. Uh-huh. So, anything else you want to talk about?”
13:23–13:37 -
A young girl with spiky yellow hair in a light blue shirt and blue pants first stands at a wall phone…
“Hmm?”
13:37–13:45 -
Lisa Simpson and Bart Simpson stand together in a doorway with dark red frames
“Shh.”
13:45–13:59 -
Lisa stands in a school hallway holding a folder, facing Bart, the boy with spiky hair and an orange-yellow…
“Bart, who are you talking to?”
13:59–14:09 -
Two small boys in white shirts and blue shorts run across a dormitory past beds and blue footlockers…
“All right, lights out.”
14:09–14:19 -
Bart Simpson lies awake in a bed in a dim dormitory with pink-paned windows and metal-frame beds, a figure…
“Don't worry, sweetie.”
14:19–14:25 -
Lisa Simpson sits cross-legged on a blue hospital-style bed beside a metal bed rail, with a dark book or case…
“It's very common to be homesick when you're so far away from the people who love you.”
14:25–14:36 -
Lisa Simpson sits on the edge of a bed beside a metal bed frame in a dim blue room with pink-curtained windows
“Emily Dickinson lived alone,”
14:36–14:47 -
Lisa Simpson sits hunched in a metal-framed bed in a dim blue bedroom, one hand resting on a small black…
“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.”
14:47–14:58 -
Bart stands at a window in the foreground, looking out at a pale green house with a blue roof and a lit…
“You'll never know, dear, how much I love you.”
14:58–15:11 -
Bart Simpson and Lisa Simpson sit side by side on the edge of a hospital bed in a pale green room…
“I'm sorry I froze you out, Lise.”
15:11–15:21 -
Bart and Lisa Simpson sit side by side on the edge of a hospital bed with a white pillow, beside a window…
“But if you quit,”
15:21–15:34 -
Bart and Lisa, the Simpson children, wear matching light grey-blue uniforms with name badges and sit side…
“Don't do that.”
15:34–15:43 -
Bart and Lisa stand in a line of cadets in light grey shirts and blue trousers in front of a tan brick…
“Well, cadets, it's been a great year.”
15:43–15:52 -
An unnamed stern, stocky officer in a blue uniform with a peaked cap, gold-star shoulder boards and medal…
“But these skills are nothing without courage and stamina.”
15:52–16:03 -
A uniformed, thin older man in a blue military-style cap with an eagle emblem and gold star shoulder boards…
“royale. That was prior to 1957, thank you very much,”
16:03–16:16 -
Chief Wiggum stands at the front of a line of recruits in lilac shirts and blue trousers, with Lisa and Bart…
“Meet the Eliminator.”
16:16–16:24 -
A uniformed man with a peaked blue cap and grey hair at the sides stands before a crowd of small…
“factor of 12.”
16:24–16:34 -
Lisa Simpson stands in a line of uniformed boys and girls in light grey shirts and blue trousers, with Bart…
“This wasn't in the brochure.”
16:34–16:39 -
Lisa Simpson sits at a long cafeteria table in a grey uniform, a fork in one hand and a slice of cake…
“Hey, Mark, come on over here. There's plenty of room.”
16:39–16:47 -
Lisa Simpson stands in a cafeteria line holding a folded note while other uniformed boys in lunch line queue…
“Meet me at the Eliminator after lights out.”
16:47–16:55 -
A girl with star-shaped spiky hair in grey clothes hangs by her hands from a thick rope against a purple…
“That's it, Lise. Now start crawling.”
16:55–17:06 -
Lisa Simpson first tumbles through a blue, veiny tangle with one hand to her mouth, then Lisa and Bart…
“Ah!”
17:06–17:11 -
Lisa and Bart are tied up and hanging from ropes tied to a dark tree trunk at night on a grassy lawn…
“I can't do this, Bart. I'm not strong enough.”
17:11–17:22 -
Three men in a dark purple night setting first hide in leafy bushes: a black-haired man in a pink polo shirt…
“That was some good corn.”
17:22–17:32 -
Bart stands at the left by a hanging rope at night, facing three men: a grey-haired man in a green hooded…
“Yeah?”
17:32–17:40 -
Bart Simpson stands facing three men: a dark-haired man in a pink polo with a maroon sweater knotted…
“Well, okay.”
17:40–17:49 -
Bart stands at the base of a dark tree at night with a coiled rope at his feet, then grips the rope…
“That was close.”
17:49–17:58 -
A uniformed officer with grey hair, a peaked blue cap, and a clipboard stands before a crowd of children…
“Gentlemen,”
17:58–18:08 -
A grey-haired officer in a blue uniform and peaked cap, holding a clipboard, first stands beside a tall…
“Yes.”
18:08–18:18 -
Lisa Simpson stands in a line of identically dressed kids in grey coveralls on a grassy field, eyes crossed…
“Son of a...”
18:18–18:29 -
Bart Simpson climbs a metal ladder propped against a tangled green hedge maze while a uniformed officer…
“Good job, Simpson.”
18:29–18:42 -
Bart stands wide-eyed in front of a line of men in matching grey tracksuits on a grassy lawn…
18:42–18:54 -
Bart Simpson stands in a grey tracksuit with a blue badge among a crowd of similarly dressed men on a green…
“Well, at least they're talking to me.”
18:54–19:04 -
Lisa stands beside a tall grey pole against a bright blue sky, then grabs a rope stretched from the top…
19:04–19:15 -
Lisa Simpson climbs a rope through a dense tangle of green and brown vines, then hangs upside down from it…
19:15–19:20 -
An unnamed yellow-skinned cartoon character in a grey outfit hangs upside down by its hands from a thick…
19:20–19:30 -
Bart and Lisa are among a crowd of identically dressed people in grey tracksuits with blue badges, all…
“Drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop,”
19:30–19:43 -
A spiky-haired boy in a grey tracksuit stands on a grassy field, wide-eyed and clenching his fists…
“You can make it, Lisa.”
19:43–19:55 -
Bart Simpson stands in a line of similarly dressed boys on a grassy field with trees behind them…
“That's it. Come on, just a little bit more.”
19:55–20:07 -
Lisa Simpson stands atop a high wooden platform at the top of a tower beside a sagging cable, then climbs…
“You thought I couldn't, but I could, I did, and I could do it again.”
20:07–20:14 -
Bart and Lisa Simpson stand outdoors in front of a green landscape with trees, bushes and rocks under a blue…
“Lisa, it's over. You made it.”
20:14–20:22 -
Bart stands on a grassy hilltop in a grey jumpsuit facing three uniformed boys in matching grey jumpsuits…
“We're gonna make your life a living hell for the rest of the semester.”
20:22–20:29 -
An officer in a blue dress uniform and peaked cap stands behind a wooden podium on a grassy parade ground…
“The wars of the future will not be fought on a battlefield or at sea.”
20:29–20:34 -
An older, grey-haired man in a blue military dress uniform with a peaked cap bearing a gold emblem stands…
“They will be fought in space, or possibly on top of a very tall mountain.”
20:34–20:44 -
An older man in a blue military-style uniform and cap stands at a wooden podium, seen from behind at first…
“And as you go forth today, remember always, your duty is clear.”
20:44–20:55 -
Homer and Marge Simpson stand outside a building beside an orange station wagon with a roof rack, while Bart…
“Well, Bart, did you make sure to return all the guns?”
20:55–21:07 -
Homer and Marge stand close together against a bright blue backdrop, Homer clenching his fists and looking…
“Well, he's got more confidence.”
21:07–21:19 -
Lisa Simpson stands on a paved path beside a stern, grey-haired man in a blue officer's cap and uniform…
“Lisa, before you go, I want to present you with this.”
21:19–21:30 -
Lisa sits beside Bart in an orange shirt in the back of a vehicle with brown seats and a purple roof…
“For satisfactory completion of the second grade.”
21:30–21:41 -
Bart and Lisa cheer with raised arms in the back of a van, then an orange car carrying them drives…
“Yay!”
21:41–21:51 -
Homer, Marge, Bart and Lisa stand together in a parking lot lined with parked cars, with Homer's mouth open…
“Ha-ha-ha-ha!”
21:51–22:01 -
No Simpsons characters appear in this moment; it is a black title card sequence with no people, setting…
22:01–22:10 -
No Simpsons characters appear in this sequence, which is a black title card sequence with no animated figures
22:10–22:20 -
A black end-credits sequence with no animated figures on screen
22:20–22:29 -
No characters appear in this sequence, which is made up of end credits on a black background in orange…
“Shhh.”
22:29–22:39 -
Dark silhouettes of an audience sit in rows of theater seats, with a large-haired figure at left, facing…
“Shhh.”
22:39–22:51
Who's in it
Bart Simpson, Homer Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson, Maggie Simpson, Milhouse Van Houten, Grampa Simpson, Principal Skinner, Chief Wiggum, Mrs. Krabappel, Nelson Muntz, Otto Mann, Jasper Beardsley, Martin Prince, Ralph Wiggum, Patty Bouvier, Selma Bouvier, Santa's Little Helper, Lou, Lewis Clark, Wendell Borton, Richard, Eddie, Miss Hoover, Sherri Mackleberry, Terri Mackleberry, Nina Skalka, Janey Powell, Hans Moleman, Adrian Belew, Professor Frink, Becky Shorter, Sophie Jensen, Girl with glasses, Long-haired girl, Jaffee Ziswhisky, Buck-toothed boy, Buck-toothed girl, Lewis' lookalike, Boy with shades, Old Jewish Man, Chuck Berger, Black Weasel, Wanda, Smug Girl, Jack Marley, Adlai Stevenson, Anderson, Cadet leader, Franklin, Platt, Poetry instructor, Rangemaster, The Commandant
Everyone who appears in it, from the Simpsons wiki. Every character