Lisa the Skeptic
The Simpsons, season 9, episode 8. First aired November 23, 1997. 132 moments of about ten seconds each: open one for its frame, what happens and what's said.
← The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons Realty Bites → The whole episode as text
About the episode
On a school fossil dig, Lisa uncovers a winged human skeleton, and Springfield hails it as an angel while Homer charges admission to view it in the garage. Lisa asks paleontologist Stephen Jay Gould to test it, and her scoffing on TV sparks a riot against science. The skeleton then vanishes and reappears, warning of the end at sundown, as a stunt for a new mall.
- Written by
- David X. Cohen
- Directed by
- Neil Affleck
- Guest stars
- Marcia Wallace as Mrs. Krabappel
- Phil Hartman as Lionel Hutz
- Stephen Jay Gould
- Chalkboard gag
I will not tease fatty
- Couch gag
- Sauna
- Production code
- 5F05
The synopsis is our own. Credits and guest stars from Wikipedia and the Simpsons wiki.
Every moment
-
Bart is at the chalkboard in a classroom, writing lines that read "I will not tease Fatty" over and over
“The Simpsons”
0:00–0:12 -
Homer holds a glowing green rod at a CAUTION sign in the nuclear plant while Mr. Burns and his thin assistant…
0:12–0:24 -
Lisa Simpson plays a saxophone-like horn in a school band room alongside Mr. Burns, a frail, stooped old man…
0:24–0:38 -
Homer gestures and talks in a purple room beside a red bed holding a glass, then the scene moves to a pink…
0:38–0:51 -
Chief Wiggum stands on the steps of the Springfield Police Station holding a white envelope, while two…
“Ha-ha, this sting can't miss, boys.”
0:51–1:02 -
Chief Wiggum stands before the Springfield Police Station holding up a card…
“When they show up for their free motorboats,”
1:02–1:15 -
Homer and Marge sit in the front of a pink car with Marge's hands on the wheel while Homer gestures and talks…
“Up and away in my beautiful, my beautiful motorboat.”
1:15–1:29 -
Homer sits at the wheel of a pink car with Marge, whose tall blue beehive and red beads are visible…
“I don't know.”
1:29–1:41 -
Homer in a white captain's hat enters a police station through a door, then leans in at a front counter where…
“I'd like a yellow boat, please.”
1:41–1:51 -
Chief Wiggum and Homer in a white uniform and captain's cap appear in a station hallway, while a man…
“Ouch!”
1:51–2:05 -
Homer is in a police station with Chief Wiggum and a dark-skinned police officer, while several seated people…
“All right, Simpson Homer, you're next.”
2:05–2:17 -
Chief Wiggum stands at the left of a police station room, while Homer is held from behind by two officers…
“What's this perp in for, Lou? Uh, 235 unpaid.”
2:17–2:31 -
Homer Simpson stands in a police station room with his arms crossed, while Chief Wiggum holds a small paper…
“Lousy cops. Lucky for you, I'm double parked right...”
2:31–2:37 -
Inside the purple family car, Homer Simpson grips the steering wheel with a tense, angry expression…
“Dad, why aren't you saying anything?”
2:37–2:50 -
Homer, Marge, Lisa and baby Maggie ride inside a pink car, with Homer at the wheel and Marge in the passenger…
“Ooh, there's that new mega mall they're building.”
2:50–3:00 -
Marge, with her tall blue beehive, Homer and Lisa sit in a pink car, with Homer driving and Marge beside him
“Hey, they can't just build a parking lot on Sabertooth Meadow.”
3:00–3:13 -
Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie sit crammed together in the purple family station wagon, with Homer…
“Bones schmoans. But they might be paving over rare specimens.”
3:13–3:20 -
Inside the family car, Marge with her tall blue beehive, Bart, Lisa, and baby Maggie in her car seat sit…
“Fine.”
3:20–3:28 -
Lisa Simpson talks with a man in a pale blue suit and red tie holding a brown briefcase, while two…
“My attorney, Lionel Hutz, calls your attention to Municipal Code 147C,”
3:28–3:40 -
Lisa Simpson stands on a dusty construction site with a reddish-haired man in a light blue suit, who is…
“There aren't any fossils here, little girl.”
3:40–3:51 -
Lisa stands on a construction site beside a man in a blue suit and glasses and a man in a red suit, both…
“Who's gonna make us? You?”
3:51–4:01 -
Lisa stands on a dirt construction site beside a man in a pale blue suit carrying a briefcase
“All right.”
4:01–4:14 -
Lisa Simpson first stands outside the school, then enters Principal Skinner's office, where he sits…
“Principal Skinner, remember how I didn't sue when I found that scorpion in my applesauce?”
4:14–4:26 -
The scene opens on a grey wall vent with a round grille against a green wall under an orange ceiling, with no…
“Attention!”
4:26–4:36 -
Bart Simpson sits at a school desk beside Nelson and Milhouse, who has blue hair and glasses, in a classroom…
“Conversely, all detention students will be punished with a trip to an archaeological dig.”
4:36–4:43 -
Mrs. Krabappel stands with her arms folded at the edge of a dug pit, with a boy in glasses and a blue shirt…
“Gonna dig me a hole. Gonna dig me a hole.”
4:43–4:56 -
Lisa Simpson stands with three men in orange hard hats on the edge of a brown dirt cliff under a bright blue…
“This is so exciting.”
4:56–4:59 -
Lisa Simpson stands beside an older man in a brown safari hat, green shirt and khaki shorts, who is…
“I can't wait to see what we find. I must admit it is rather exciting.”
4:59–5:07 -
A young girl in a green cap, orange dress and blue neckerchief stands beside an older man in a khaki safari…
“Oh, no, it's just a clump of dirt.”
5:07–5:15 -
Ralph Wiggum kneels in a dig pit with a trowel, and in the first frames he stands and gestures…
“Print Skipper Skipple!”
5:15–5:27 -
A small blond-haired boy in a blue sweater and red trousers kneels in a dirt patch beside a pile of rocks…
“That's your trowel blade, Ralph. It fell off the handle.”
5:27–5:30 -
Ralph Wiggum kneels at a sandy desert dig site holding a small tool, while a woman in a green jacket, a man…
“Okay, everyone, back to work. You never know when we might uncover a tyrannosaurus.”
5:30–5:39 -
Milhouse in a blue cap, red glasses, pink shirt and red shorts kneels beside a prone child in a white shirt…
5:39–5:48 -
Lisa stands at a dusty dig site leaning on a shovel while a man in a green shirt, khaki shorts, safari hat…
“Well, this was a big bust.”
5:48–5:56 -
Lisa Simpson digs with a shovel at a sandy site fenced with white rope, against an orange sky and a brown…
“Come on.”
5:56–6:05 -
Lisa Simpson digs at the dirt of an excavation site with a bare-handed scrape, then uncovers a large grey…
“Everybody, come quick!”
6:05–6:16 -
Lisa works at a rocky dig site with a brush while Marge, Homer, Barney, Moe, Milhouse, a man in a white lab…
“Let me through. I got here late.”
6:16–6:25 -
Lisa stands at a wooden fence at a dig site and sweeps a brush over a buried skeleton, sending up puffs…
“From the looks of it, I'd say this fellow died from causes unknown.”
6:25–6:35 -
Lisa Simpson brushes dust off a large white dinosaur skeleton at a dig site, sending puffs of dust…
“Speaking from a strictly medical point of view, that ain't right.”
6:35–6:45 -
Lisa Simpson stands in a dig site in front of a skeleton with wing-like bones set into a rock wall…
“What is it, Lisa?”
6:45–6:55 -
Lisa Simpson stands in the foreground at a dig site, talking and then shrugging with her arms spread…
“Well, obviously that's impossible. Lisa's right, it's an angel!”
6:55–7:06 -
Lisa stands in front of a crowd of townspeople at a dig site, where a winged skeleton is embedded in a rock…
“But it can't be an angel.”
7:06–7:18 -
Lisa stands on a rocky dirt ground with people's legs visible behind her, first wide-eyed and open-mouthed…
“Well,”
7:18–7:31 -
Homer is attacked by two purple fish-like creatures with gaping jaws on a green grassy field, screaming…
7:31–7:35 -
Lisa Simpson stands in a crowd with Ned Flanders, who has a moustache, glasses and a green sweater, and Homer…
“Oh, I gotta say, Lisa, it sounds like you're straining to do some explaining.”
7:35–7:47 -
Lisa Simpson stands in a desert canyon with a dinosaur skeleton behind her, shrugging, raising a hand…
“It could be anything.”
7:47–7:56 -
Mr. Burns scowls and gestures near his face beside his thin assistant Smithers, who wears glasses, a purple…
“Smithers use the amnesia ray. You mean the revolver, sir?”
7:56–8:07 -
A heavyset Black doctor in a white coat with a stethoscope stands at the front of a crowd of townspeople…
“So our most pressing concern now is determining who owns such a valuable skeleton.”
8:07–8:20 -
Troy McClure stands holding a briefcase and stroking his chin before gesturing with one hand, while inmates…
“It's a thorny legal issue, all right.”
8:20–8:32 -
Moe, Ned Flanders, and a man in a white lab coat stand on a dusty, tire-marked field, then Homer waves…
“let's say we simply place the sacred bones and...”
8:32–8:42 -
Homer strains to push a large grey boulder against the pink wall beside a red arched door while Marge watches…
“What are you doing with that?”
8:42–8:53 -
Homer Simpson and his son Bart stand behind a counter in a cluttered room with a large skeleton and a grey…
“It's probably a million years old, Dad. I think it's as valuable as it's gonna get.”
8:53–9:00 -
Homer and Bart stand in front of a large skeleton and a row of silver cans in a pink-walled room
“That's what they said about this Billy Beer, Smarty Pants.”
9:00–9:08 -
Homer Simpson and Marge Simpson sit side by side on a brown couch in their pink living room, Homer…
“Coming up next,”
9:08–9:19 -
Marge Simpson stands at a pink doorway facing Ned Flanders, who has a moustache, glasses and a green sweater…
“Hey there, Marge. Just brought the kids over to share a prayer with the Blessed Angel,”
9:19–9:29 -
Marge Simpson stands in a pink doorway beside Ned Flanders, who wears a moustache, glasses and a green…
“Thanks anyway, Homer.”
9:29–9:39 -
Marge Simpson stands in a pink doorway while an elderly woman with lavender curly hair, a blue jacket…
“but I'm going in for surgery tomorrow and I wondered if I could rub the angel with my foot”
9:39–9:48 -
Marge stands in a pink arched doorway talking with an older woman with grey-violet hair, a blue jacket…
“Hey, I'm trying to eat here. Beat it, peg leg.”
9:48–9:58 -
Homer and Marge stand in the entryway of their house by a staircase while a crowd of townspeople presses…
“Come on, Homer, I just want a quick look-see.”
9:58–10:06 -
Homer holds out coins to a thin, long-nosed man in a green sweater and purple suspenders while a redheaded…
“50 cents, please.”
10:06–10:17 -
Homer stands in a dim room with blue walls beside Lisa, who wears a red dress and a pearl necklace…
“No one else is next to the rakes. Dad, it's not fair to claim this thing is an angel.”
10:17–10:29 -
Homer and Lisa stand together in a scene beginning with a banner reading ANGEL and an arrow pointing left
“That's a typo.”
10:29–10:42 -
Lisa appears first in a close-up with a pointing hand at the left edge, then the scene cuts to the Simpson…
10:42–10:53 -
Lisa Simpson first works beside a large fossil skeleton, then rides a small pink bicycle with a green basket…
“Wow, so lifelike.”
10:53–11:06 -
A small figure in an orange shirt with spiky hair, likely Bart, watches from the bottom left of a museum hall…
“Ooh!”
11:06–11:16 -
Lisa Simpson stands in a cluttered laboratory lined with shelves of jars, beakers, and a skeleton…
“Astonishing, simply astonishing.”
11:16–11:28 -
Lisa Simpson stands at a lab counter facing a mustached man in a white lab coat, who is not one…
“Oh, yeah, the so-called angel.”
11:28–11:40 -
Lisa Simpson talks with a mustached man with dark blue-grey hair in a white lab coat
“Can't you do a DNA test or something? Certainly.”
11:40–11:48 -
Lisa Simpson faces a moustached man in a white lab coat who gestures at a blackboard diagram of a creature…
“I didn't become a scientist for financial gain.”
11:48–12:02 -
Lisa Simpson starts seated on a wooden stool in a purple room while Homer, Moe, Ned Flanders in his green…
“I took a piece of this skeleton for scientific analysis.”
12:02–12:07 -
Homer stands with Ned Flanders, who wears a green sweater, moustache and glasses, while Apu in his pink shirt…
“You did what?”
12:07–12:19 -
Lisa Simpson stands in a room with a purple wall beside a pink curtain tangled with red and blue Christmas…
“Ah, here's Dr. Gould now. What were the results, Professor?”
12:19–12:30 -
Lisa Simpson stands on a wooden stool in a purple room decorated with blue and red string lights, a hanging…
“Well,”
12:30–12:42 -
Moe and Ned Flanders in a green sweater and glasses stand beside a wall of brooms, while Homer holds a box…
“I am home. Good, stay there.”
12:42–12:55 -
Marge Simpson stands at the stove in the kitchen, first opening a green refrigerator door and looking…
“Maybe so, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't call them morons.”
12:55–13:05 -
Lisa Simpson sits at a blue table in the kitchen with a pink milk carton and a glass of milk, first sipping…
“You?”
13:05–13:17 -
Marge sits with her back to the viewer at a blue kitchen table, while Lisa sits across from her
“Everyone needs something to believe in. It's not that I don't have a spiritual side.”
13:17–13:24 -
Marge Simpson and Lisa Simpson sit at a round blue kitchen table in front of a carton of milk and a glass…
“Oh, my poor Lisa.”
13:24–13:35 -
Marge Simpson sits at the kitchen table with her arms folded, her blue beehive and red beads visible…
“I feel sorry for you.”
13:35–13:47 -
Lisa Simpson sits in a purple chair beside an older, white-haired man in a red jacket and blue tie, who is…
“Miss Simpson,”
13:47–13:59 -
On a TV screen, an elderly man with white hair, a red jacket, blue tie and red earring, who matches…
“Oh, that's a bunch of baloney, Lisa. Everyone knows leprechauns are extinct.”
13:59–14:10 -
Ned Flanders and Moe stand before a wooden lectern in a room with hanging banners reading 'Thou shalt have no…
“Science. What's science ever done for us?”
14:10–14:23 -
Inside the Museum of Natural History, a crowd of angry townsfolk, including Homer, Lenny, Carl, Ned Flanders…
“Yes, brother!”
14:23–14:36 -
Marge stands at the left edge while a large white robot with spherical pods spins and tilts under a starry…
“And that.”
14:36–14:47 -
No regular characters appear in this scene, which opens on the entrance of the Springfield Robotics…
“Why? Why was I programmed to feel pain?”
14:47–14:54 -
Kent Brockman speaks into a microphone in front of a burning building with a sign…
“Technocrats are learning a lesson in humility tonight as angel supporters lay waste to”
14:54–15:02 -
Lisa stands in the living room with Homer, who sits on the brown couch holding a brown bottle, Marge…
“Ugh! I wish I'd never found those stupid bones!”
15:02–15:14 -
Lisa starts in a purple hallway by a pink-doored room, then walks over to a light switch and reaches for it
“It's gone.”
15:14–15:24 -
Homer Simpson stands beside a cardboard box stuffed with packing material in a purple room…
“What the hell are we gonna do with 10,000 angel ashtrays?”
15:24–15:30 -
Homer stands in a blue room with Marge, whose tall blue beehive is visible, and Lisa and Bart, the boy…
“Okay, okay, don't panic.”
15:30–15:43 -
Homer, Marge, Bart and Lisa stand in a blue-walled room while Ned Flanders in his green sweater, Chief Wiggum…
“We've come for the angel, Homer. It's not safe with the unbeliever.”
15:43–15:53 -
Lisa Simpson grips a blue pipe wrench as a heavy man in a purple suit, a grey-haired man in a bow tie…
“Nothing.”
15:53–16:06 -
Lisa Simpson is held by Chief Wiggum, the fat police chief in uniform, as she tangles with a string…
“What? Hey!”
16:06–16:16 -
In a courtroom with a crowd of onlookers and a uniformed bailiff near the back, Milhouse with blue hair…
“Lisa Simpson, you are charged with destruction of an historic curiosity, a misdemeanor.”
16:16–16:28 -
In a courtroom, a tall, thin man with blue hair, green-rimmed glasses, a grey suit and a red tie stands…
“Your Honor, over the coming weeks and months,”
16:28–16:38 -
Marge Simpson with her tall blue beehive, Bart in his orange shirt, Lisa in her orange dress, Krusty…
16:38–16:43 -
A robed judge with dark slicked-back hair presides from a tall wooden bench beneath a blue and red seal…
“I find the defendant not guilty.”
16:43–16:55 -
A crowd including Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie climbs a grassy hill path toward a winged statue…
“Wow.”
16:55–17:06 -
Homer Simpson stands with a group that includes Apu in a green jacket on the right, and a bald man in a blue…
“The end will come at sundown.”
17:06–17:14 -
Chief Wiggum stands with a red-haired woman, a mustached man in a white tank top, a small blond boy in a blue…
“I'm scared, Daddy.”
17:14–17:26 -
Lisa stands on a grassy lawn in front of a crowd while Homer in a white shirt waves and points, with Marge's…
“Hardly. Anyone could have written that.”
17:26–17:38 -
Lenny stands in the center of a crowd on a grassy hill with Ned Flanders in a green sweater and Carl…
“Oh, now be calm, Ned. But be afraid also,”
17:38–17:50 -
A cardinal in a black cassock with a red skullcap walks down a long red-carpeted hall of blue Gothic columns…
“Your Holiness, there is word from America.”
17:50–18:02 -
The moment opens on the exterior of a brick school with purple columns, a flagpole with an American flag…
“This could be our last day together, my love.”
18:02–18:16 -
A blue-beehived woman in a green dress with red beads and a spiky-haired boy in a blue suit and purple tie…
“Why are we getting dressed up, Mom?”
18:16–18:27 -
Lisa sits on a purple armchair in a pink living room, arms folded, while Marge stands beside her
“Will you leave me alone?”
18:27–18:36 -
Marge Simpson stands by a window with yellow curtains in the first part of the moment, looking worried…
“I don't know exactly what's gonna happen,”
18:36–18:48 -
Marge is first seen in her bedroom beside a vanity with an oval blue mirror, while Lisa in a red-and-white…
“I hate to disappoint you, but the world is not coming to an end.”
18:48–18:54 -
Ned Flanders stands at the front of a crowd beside a dark-haired man in a white robe, while Marge…
“Well, shall we sing a hymn?”
18:54–19:03 -
Homer clutches Marge and baby Maggie in a packed crowd with Bart, Patty and Selma, Moe and Carl around them…
“Oh, Marge, don't let go. No matter what.”
19:03–19:14 -
Patty and Selma stand side by side in a crowd against an orange backdrop, smoking cigarettes, exhaling smoke…
“We did it. We beat cancer.”
19:14–19:27 -
Chief Wiggum checks his wristwatch in a crowd at sunset, with Ned Flanders at the edge of the frame…
“Seven, six, five, four,”
19:27–19:39 -
Chief Wiggum and another officer stand at left in front of a large crowd on a grassy field at dusk…
“Well, there you go. I hope you all learned about...”
19:39–19:49 -
Homer, Marge, Lisa, Maggie and Bart stand in a crowd with Ned Flanders, Apu and his wife Manjula, and Krusty…
“Prepare for the end.”
19:49–20:02 -
Lisa stands beside Homer, Marge and a crowd of townsfolk under a red spotlight as a glowing skeleton-winged…
“The end of high prices.”
20:02–20:14 -
Marge, with her tall blue beehive, Homer, and a crowd of townspeople stand on a hilltop under a red spotlight…
“Please follow the angel for all your shopping needs.”
20:14–20:25 -
Lisa Simpson stands facing two men on a plaza at dusk: Smithers and an older man in a red suit…
“Wait a second.”
20:25–20:37 -
Lisa Simpson stands on a dark street in a crowd of legs and feet, initially wide-eyed and then looking glum…
“You exploited people's deepest beliefs just to hawk your cheesy wares?”
20:37–20:44 -
Lisa Simpson stands with her hands on her hips and a sulky expression in front of a crowd on a dark street…
“Well, we are outraged, aren't we?”
20:44–20:52 -
Chief Wiggum stands in the foreground in front of a red backdrop, with Mr. Burns' thin, hook-nosed profile…
“But look at all the stores. A pottery barn!”
20:52–20:54 -
Lisa stands in her pink dress and red bow at the front of a crowd, while Moe points and talks…
“And 20% off everything? Hey, does that include rat spray?”
20:54–21:04 -
Lisa stands on a hilltop beside Marge, whose tall blue beehive and green dress with red beads mark…
“I don't understand, Professor.”
21:04–21:15 -
Small cartoon crowds of one-off characters, none clearly identifiable as regulars, walk and run…
21:15–21:18 -
Smithers stands beside Mr. Burns, the frail, stooped old man with a hooked nose and grey hair at the sides…
“Uh, sir, about that, uh,”
21:18–21:29 -
Marge and Lisa stand on a snowy hill at night, with a domed building behind a fence in the distance
“Well, I guess you were right,”
21:29–21:41 -
Lisa Simpson and Marge Simpson stand together on a blue hillside under a starry purple night sky
“Well, it was just so loud”
21:41–21:50 -
Marge and a small blonde girl in a pink dress, presumably Maggie, walk hand in hand along a winding nighttime…
21:50–22:00 -
The moment is a black title card sequence of credits against a plain black background
22:00–22:09 -
No regular Simpsons characters or one-off characters appear in this moment; it is a sequence of black title…
22:09–22:19 -
No characters appear in this sequence, which is a black closing credits roll for The Simpsons
22:19–22:29 -
A black closing credits sequence for a Simpsons episode
22:29–22:38 -
Silhouetted audience members, including one with a large spiky head on the left, sit in rows in a dark movie…
“Thank you.”
22:38–22:50
Who's in it
Bart Simpson, Homer Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson, Maggie Simpson, Moe Szyslak, Barney Gumble, Milhouse Van Houten, Krusty the Clown, Principal Skinner, Ned Flanders, Chief Wiggum, Lenny Leonard, Carl Carlson, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Mrs. Krabappel, Dr. Hibbert, Waylon Smithers, Mr. Burns, Otto Mann, Kent Brockman, Nelson Muntz, Jasper Beardsley, Martin Prince, Patty Bouvier, Selma Bouvier, Groundskeeper Willie, Ralph Wiggum, Reverend Lovejoy, Lou, Eddie, Miss Hoover, Richard, Todd Flanders, Jimbo Jones, Rod Flanders, Kearney Zzyzwicz, Sideshow Mel, Maude Flanders, Helen Lovejoy, Kirk Van Houten, Mayor Quimby, Luann Van Houten, Professor Frink, Agnes Skinner, Bernice Hibbert, Snake, Dolph Starbeam, Gareth Prince, Superintendent Chalmers, Sarah Wiggum, Gloria Prince, Lionel Hutz, Cletus Spuckler, Herman Hermann, Alice Glick, Bumblebee Man, Blue-Haired Lawyer, Manjula Nahasapeemapetilon, Brandine Spuckler, Sherri and Terri, Roy Snyder, Mr. Teeny, Disco Stu, Üter Zörker, Jimmy the Scumbag, Pope John Paul II, Stephen Jay Gould, Heavenly Hills businessman, Heavenly Hills owner, Pope's advisor
Everyone who appears in it, from the Simpsons wiki. Every character