Homer the Vigilante
The Simpsons, season 5, episode 11. First aired January 6, 1994. 138 moments of about ten seconds each: open one for its frame, what happens and what's said.
← $pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling) Bart Gets Famous → The whole episode as text
About the episode
A cat burglar is looting Springfield, and after Lisa's saxophone is stolen, Homer forms a neighborhood watch that soon runs wild. Homer drinks himself unconscious on a stakeout while the thief takes a giant cubic zirconia, but Grampa unmasks the culprit as Molloy, a fellow retirement home resident. Once jailed, Molloy sends the whole town digging for buried millions and slips away.
- Written by
- John Swartzwelder
- Directed by
- Jim Reardon
- Guest stars
- Sam Neill as Molloy
- Chalkboard gag
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
- Couch gag
- Clapboard couch gag, take three: Exploding Family
- Production code
- 1F09
The synopsis is our own. Credits and guest stars from Wikipedia and the Simpsons wiki.
Every moment
-
Bart Simpson stands at a green classroom chalkboard, writing the repeated line…
“The Simpsons”
0:00–0:12 -
Homer stands at a control counter beneath a CAUTION sign, holding orange tongs that grip a glowing green…
0:12–0:25 -
A school band rehearses in a bright orange-walled room, with kids playing trumpets, clarinets and flutes…
“Don't!”
0:25–0:38 -
Homer runs out of a doorway into a purple living room with a red couch, a lamp and telephone on a side table…
“Ah!”
0:38–0:51 -
Homer and Marge lie asleep in their bed under a blue blanket, Homer snoring with his mouth open, and Lisa…
0:51–1:03 -
A silhouetted figure with hair stands behind a white picket fence in front of a purple roof, then a bald…
1:03–1:15 -
Santa's Little Helper is first seen in a dark blue room, leaping and scrambling across the floor with wide…
1:15–1:28 -
Homer Simpson chews sausages that a yellow hand holds out from the right in a dim blue room, his eyes closed
“All right.”
1:28–1:35 -
Lisa lies in bed in a dim blue bedroom with a lamp and an arched doorway behind her, and the credits…
1:35–1:44 -
Lisa Simpson lies asleep in a blue bed beside a lamp while a tall, shadowy figure in a dark hooded robe leans…
1:44–1:52 -
Bart Simpson lies asleep in bed while a dark silhouette of a figure with one arm raised looms…
“Where is your baby home at?”
1:52–2:01 -
Marge Simpson lies asleep in bed with her eyes closed on a grey pillow under a blue blanket
2:01–2:06 -
Homer sleeps sprawled on the floor of a pink room while Santa's Little Helper sleeps beside him
“Dad, we've been robbed! Wake up, Dad! Wake up!”
2:06–2:18 -
Homer, Bart and Lisa are in the Simpsons' pink living room, with Marge standing at the foot of the staircase…
“Wahoo! And our portable TV!”
2:18–2:29 -
Marge Simpson in her pink robe, Homer Simpson in light blue pajamas, and Lisa Simpson in a green dress…
“Well, yes I do. But they're all heirlooms too.”
2:29–2:42 -
Bart sits in the living room by a teal telephone on a purple cabinet, first with a bored, sullen look…
“Stamp collection!”
2:42–2:54 -
Marge, Homer, and Lisa stand in the pink living room in pajamas and a dressing gown, with Lisa gesturing…
“It was the only way I could truly express myself.”
2:54–3:06 -
Ned Flanders stands in an open pink doorway in a green sweater with a moustache, one hand on the doorknob…
“Heidily ho, neighborinos.”
3:06–3:17 -
A slim-faced man in a salmon-pink robe with a lavender belt, with swept-back grey-brown hair, stands before…
“Good lord, my stormin' normin' commemorative plate's stolen.”
3:17–3:26 -
Lisa, Homer and Marge are in a kitchen by a wall phone, with a jar labeled MAGIC BEANS on the counter
“We are insured, aren't we, Mom? Homer,”
3:26–3:36 -
Homer Simpson talks on a wall phone in a lavender hallway, first looking wide-eyed and tense with his teeth…
“Hello, police. Are you sitting down?”
3:36–3:44 -
Chief Wiggum stands in front with a thin, yellow-skinned officer in a cap beside him, while a dark-skinned…
“That's another one, Lou.”
3:44–3:53 -
Chief Wiggum stands at the left and leans toward a large wall map of colored dots, a winding grey river…
“But if I take this one and move it here, then I move these over here.”
3:53–4:03 -
Chief Wiggum gestures and speaks animatedly beside a thin, grim-faced police officer in a matching cap…
“Let's get out of here!”
4:03–4:09 -
Kent Brockman sits at a desk holding a stack of white papers in front of a blue wall with a red-framed…
“When cat burglaries start, can mass murders be far behind?”
4:09–4:17 -
Kent Brockman sits at a desk across from a bespectacled man in a brown jacket and dark tie, who is not one…
“This reporter isn't saying that the burglar is an inhuman monster like the wolfman,”
4:17–4:24 -
Chief Wiggum stands at a podium in front of a large MAP OF SPRINGFIELD board, flanked by two uniformed…
“Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, please.”
4:24–4:37 -
Chief Wiggum stands before a large city map covered in grid lines and colored districts with red markers
“Gosh, look at me. I'm sweating like a pig here.”
4:37–4:45 -
Chief Wiggum kneels on a courtroom floor offering a white cloth to a black-and-tan police dog…
“All right, get the scent, boy. Come on, get the scent.”
4:45–4:57 -
A black-haired man in a blue suit with a green tie and a bespectacled man with a bow tie and green jacket…
“Well, as you can see, when the burglar trips the alarm,”
4:57–5:08 -
A dark-haired man in a blue suit and green tie holds a microphone beside a man in a green jacket, bow tie…
“Ha.”
5:08–5:19 -
Bart stands on a suburban street lined with houses, first grinning and then holding up a small dark object…
“Cool, high tech security system.”
5:19–5:30 -
A man with long curly black hair, a pink cap, headphones and a pink shirt stands on a suburban street…
“Alright, free Lazarian.”
5:30–5:38 -
An elderly bald man with a long white beard, green sweater, grey vest and blue pants, leaning on a wooden…
“All the colors of the bow, man.”
5:38–5:51 -
Grampa Simpson lies in a dim bedroom under a blue blanket beside a nightstand holding a white cup
“Oh, it's the cat burglar!”
5:51–5:59 -
Grampa lies under a green blanket in a red-and-orange bedroom, holding a small red object and a cup…
“Abe, can I borrow your armament? Oh, it's you, Malloy.”
5:59–6:11 -
Apu stands on the brown roof sign reading KWIK-E-MART in front of a large white cloud against a blue sky…
“Thank you for coming.”
6:11–6:16 -
Homer, Marge, Bart and Lisa stand together in a purple-walled living room in front of a green refrigerator…
“All right, these are our new family security rules.”
6:16–6:27 -
Lisa and Bart stand together in a kitchen with a dish rack and a corn-patterned curtain, Lisa talking…
“What's the point of all these precautions?”
6:27–6:39 -
Homer, Marge, Lisa and Bart stand together in the purple-cabineted kitchen with its checkered floor, Marge…
“Lisa, never ever stop in the middle of a hoedown.”
6:39–6:52 -
Homer Simpson stands in a kitchen with purple cabinets and an orange cabinet behind him, a green refrigerator…
“Oh, honey, I didn't realize how much that horn meant to you.”
6:52–6:53 -
In a kitchen with a blue stove, a red dish rack, and a window showing a house outside, Homer Simpson stands…
“Oh, honey, I didn't realize how much that horn meant to you.”
6:53–7:01 -
Homer Simpson stands in the kitchen beside Lisa Simpson, who has star-shaped spiky hair, a red dress…
“I don't know how, but I'll figure out something.”
7:01–7:10 -
In the Simpson kitchen, Bart in an orange shirt and Lisa in a red dress stand by the checkered floor…
“Welcome, neighbors.”
7:10–7:19 -
Ned Flanders stands behind a bar with his hands on his hips, then raises a finger to his chin as he addresses…
“Since the police can't seem to get off their duff-a-roonies to do something about this”
7:19–7:27 -
Ned Flanders stands behind the bar at Moe's Tavern beneath a rack of axes, gesturing with his hands…
“A-roonie! Yeah!”
7:27–7:35 -
Ned Flanders stands at the left in the first frame, pushing his glasses up with one hand in a wooden-walled…
“Flanders! I don't really have very much experience, but I'll be...”
7:35–7:46 -
Homer stands at the center of Moe's bar talking and gesturing, while Lenny and an unnamed thin man…
“I'm someone else. He's right! We don't need a thinker.”
7:46–7:56 -
Homer stands in a crowd at a bar with Barney, a heavy man with messy brown hair and an orange vest…
“I be with you too, matey.”
7:56–8:06 -
Homer stands in the center with his mouth open, flanked by Otto in a pink cap and headphones with long curly…
“Mmm, sorry Dad, you're too old. Too old?”
8:06–8:19 -
An older heavyset man in a green fedora, green vest and white bow tie stands indoors in front…
“And a fine job you did too.”
8:19–8:21 -
Homer stands in a crowded bar with shelves of mugs and a sign reading "ANDERS" behind him, gripping…
“Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things.”
8:21–8:30 -
Homer and Grampa are at the center of a bar scene
“Aren't they? Aren't they?”
8:30–8:38 -
In a pink living room with framed family portraits and a staircase, Homer Simpson in his white shirt and blue…
“I don't think the guns are a good idea.”
8:38–8:49 -
Homer and Grampa stand holding shotguns against a pink wall with a cactus-shaped decoration, while a man…
“Marge, we're responsible adults and... Whoops.”
8:49–9:00 -
Homer Simpson, Barney, Principal Skinner and Moe are in Moe's Tavern, with Moe, a grey-haired bartender…
“Okay, we've got the secret vigilante handshake.”
9:00–9:13 -
Homer and Moe stand at a counter in Herman's Military Antiques, a shop with a green sign and brick-patched…
“I'll be Q-ball, Skinner can be 8-ball, Barney will be 12-ball, and Moe, you can be Q-ball.”
9:13–9:23 -
Homer stands close to a scowling unnamed man with swept-back reddish hair, a brown vest, and a cigarette…
“Come with me.”
9:23–9:29 -
Homer is seen in close-up in the first frame with his eyes shut and mouth pursed, a white sleeve and green…
“The government built it in the 50s to drop on beatniks.”
9:29–9:41 -
Homer sits in the cockpit of a grey bomber flying across a bright blue sky, gripping the controls…
“Put this in your pipe and smoke it”
9:41–9:51 -
Homer Simpson rides a yellow-and-black checkered missile with lettering on its side, first inside a metal…
“Hooray!”
9:51–10:03 -
Homer starts by laughing and pointing outdoors among pine trees, then points beside a one-off man with brown…
“Take that, Maynard G. Krebs! Hey, see this sign?”
10:03–10:13 -
Homer stands before a row of armed men on a suburban street, including a heavy man in an orange vest and teal…
“Okay, men, it's time to clean up this town!”
10:13–10:24 -
Bart stands on a suburban sidewalk holding a purple megaphone labeled RAPMASTER 2000 and gestures…
“Bart, give me that megaphone of yours. It's not just a megaphone, Dad.”
10:24–10:33 -
A girl with light bob-style hair in a pink shirt and blue jeans, holding a red book, stands by a utility pole…
“Move along there.”
10:33–10:43 -
Homer Simpson shouts through a purple megaphone from a red vehicle on a suburban street as a heavy man…
“Return to your homes and places of businesses.”
10:43–10:51 -
Homer joins a crowd that includes Chief Wiggum in a grey spiked helmet and blue uniform, a Black man in a red…
“Hey, you! Where'd you get that saxophone?”
10:51–11:04 -
A bald, heavy man in a white shirt, apparently Homer, fights a yard fire of burning leaves, first with a rake…
“I got one. Too late.”
11:04–11:17 -
Homer stands on a grey street beside a dark-skinned man in a red fez and white uniform and a boy in an orange…
“It makes me feel like a big man.”
11:17–11:29 -
Homer stands beside a man in a purple knit cap with brown bangs and a black skull-print shirt against a wall…
“Can I join you? I don't know. Can you swing a sack of doorknobs?”
11:29–11:37 -
Homer, Marge, Maggie, Lisa and Bart sit around a dining table in a pink room with a roast turkey, plates…
“So I said to him, Look, buddy, your car was upside down when we got here.”
11:37–11:50 -
Homer Simpson sits at the dinner table holding a chicken drumstick, glancing sideways while Lisa Simpson sits…
“I mean, if you're the police, who will police the police?”
11:50–12:00 -
Homer Simpson and Marge Simpson sit at the dining table with Lisa, who has star-shaped spiky hair and a red…
“And I still don't have my saxophone. Lisa,”
12:00–12:11 -
Lisa glances sideways with clenched teeth, then Homer appears in wide-eyed close-ups with his head tilted
“World domination?”
12:11–12:24 -
Kent Brockman sits at left and speaks with his mouth open while glancing sideways
“how do you respond to the charge that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down 80% while”
12:24–12:33 -
Kent Brockman is not shown; instead a white-haired man in a red jacket, light shirt and blue tie, with neat…
“40% of all people know that. I see. Well,”
12:33–12:46 -
Kent Brockman sits beside a heavy bald man in a khaki safari hat and shirt against a dark blue night skyline…
“Well, it looks like we have our first caller.”
12:46–12:55 -
Homer Simpson sits in a dark seat against a night sky dotted with yellow stars and a dark city skyline…
“Hello Homer, my arch nemesis.”
12:55–13:06 -
Homer Simpson wears a khaki safari outfit and pith helmet and sits in front of a dark night-time skyline…
“Uh, Marge? No Homer, I'm not your wife. Although,”
13:06–13:17 -
Homer Simpson sits beside news anchor Kent Brockman, who has grey hair and wears a red suit and blue tie…
“And you have my daughter's saxophone too!”
13:17–13:27 -
An unnamed older man with swept-back white hair, wearing a red coat and blue tie, sits on a grey couch…
“I'm a little nervous. It may interest you to know that for my next crime,”
13:27–13:34 -
Homer Simpson sits in a dark chair against a night-blue backdrop with a partly visible sign and small yellow…
“the world's largest cubic zirconia. Listen, Mr.”
13:34–13:46 -
Homer stands in front of a night-lit blue billboard reading "SMA..." and gestures with one open hand…
“We'll be right back.”
13:46–13:52 -
Homer stands at the left of a group in front of a white building with stairs, a grey wall and a green lawn…
“Son, we want to help you catch that plug ugly egg.”
13:52–14:05 -
A thin, stooped old man in a grey vest and green shirt and a heavyset elderly man in a pink sweater and grey…
“Hey, we're on our break.”
14:05–14:16 -
A one-off character with a green beret, brown side-swept hair and an olive-green military-style collared…
14:16–14:17 -
Homer Simpson stands on the steps of a building with blue columns and glass doors facing a uniformed man…
“Well, Mr. Cat Burglar, you'd like to get in here, wouldn't you?”
14:17–14:29 -
Homer wears a khaki safari outfit and pith helmet and peers through binoculars in front of blue double doors…
“36 years ago, some lady gave birth to a man named Homer J.”
14:29–14:40 -
A heavy man in a grey uniform and hat, probably Chief Wiggum, chugs a can at night on a grassy lawn…
“Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!”
14:40–14:51 -
Homer is joined by Bart, who rests a hand on his arm, and later Homer stands angrily waving the paper…
“Asleep at the switch!”
14:51–15:05 -
Homer stands in an arched doorway with one arm outstretched, then sits slumped on a sidewalk splattered…
“You let me down, man.”
15:05–15:18 -
A scruffy young person in a purple beanie and a black skull-print shirt stands center in a tense group…
“Now I don't believe in nothing no more. I'm going to law school.”
15:18–15:23 -
Lisa stands on the left holding a dark sack while Homer sits on a front step beside a green doormat
“Dad, maybe this will cheer you up.”
15:23–15:34 -
Bart, Lisa and Marge are gathered in a pink hallway, with Marge kneeling beside a dark bucket and Lisa…
“Oh my, I had no idea how much this town loved that zirconia.”
15:34–15:45 -
Grampa stands by an orange door in a tan cardigan with a fried egg and an orange stain on the front, first…
“No, actually I fell down as a big boy.”
15:45–15:54 -
An elderly man with spiky yellow hair, glasses, a beige sweater and a black string tie stands in an arched…
“Well, well, well.”
15:54–16:07 -
Grampa stands in a pink hallway beside a coat rack holding a dark jacket, wearing a tan sweater with a black…
“He was right under my nose the whole time.”
16:07–16:15 -
Grampa first stands beside a coat rack in a pink room, leaning forward toward Marge, Homer, Bart and Lisa…
“Wow, how'd you track him down, Grandpa?”
16:15–16:23 -
Homer, Marge, Bart and Lisa stand in a pink hallway watching Grampa, the wrinkled old man with white tufts…
“I noticed Malloy wore sneakers.”
16:23–16:36 -
An older grey-haired man in a black sweater and white sneakers stands at the left beside Grampa and a bearded…
“Malloy said, I'll catch up with you.”
16:36–16:44 -
Mr. Burns clings to a vertical pole outside the wall of a tall white building, his body hanging nearly…
“I couldn't quite put my finger on it.”
16:44–16:52 -
Homer stands at the left edge of a pink hallway, with Marge and Lisa partly visible beside him, as an elderly…
“And finally, Malloy, unlike most retired people,”
16:52–17:01 -
Homer, Marge, Bart and Lisa stand in a pink room beside Grampa, a wrinkled old man in a tan sweater…
“Oh, Dad, I could kiss you. Well, kiss me right here.”
17:01–17:11 -
Homer and Grampa stand in front of an arched doorway, Grampa pointing ahead while Homer looks on
“No, wait! I know where the burglar is! To the retirement home!”
17:11–17:19 -
Moe, Grampa, Carl, Patty and Selma, and Barney gather around a large glass-cased cubic zirconia diamond…
“And there she is, the world's largest cubic zirconia.”
17:19–17:28 -
Homer stands with his hands on his hips in a room with red curtains and a framed picture, while Herb…
“it seems that the cat has been caught by the very person that was trying to catch”
17:28–17:41 -
Homer stands at the center of a crowded green-walled room with a drop ceiling and a TV set, flanked…
“Actually, it wasn't me. It was my dad, Grandpa.”
17:41–17:47 -
Grampa stands at the right of a dim room beside Moe, the grey-haired bartender in a bow tie and dark vest…
“So you see, old people aren't so useless after all.”
17:47–18:00 -
Mr. Burns stands in a yellow-walled room with Apu in his green jacket and Barney in a tan shirt and blue…
“Shut up. I've had my moment. And of course,”
18:00–18:10 -
Selma stands at the left of a crowded green-walled room beside a bald man with red-framed glasses…
“Thank you.”
18:10–18:20 -
Homer Simpson hugs Lisa tightly while a crowd of townspeople, including Moe in a blue apron and bow tie…
“And thank you, Dad. You got it back, just like you said you would.”
18:20–18:29 -
Mr. Burns stands in a green-walled room with a dropped ceiling and gestures with one hand, smiling…
“let me assure you that your dear town has stolen my heart.”
18:29–18:40 -
Chief Wiggum grips the arm of an elderly man with white hair, a white moustache and a black turtleneck…
“Oh, sorry, folks. Gee, I really hate to spoil this little love-in, but Mr.”
18:40–18:48 -
Chief Wiggum stands in a crowded station hallway beside Herb, a heavy man with brown hair in a purple suit…
“Ah, that reminds me, uh, here's your monthly kickback.”
18:48–19:02 -
Mr. Burns sits on a bench in a dark sweater and trousers in a bare room, with his hands resting on his knees…
“I suppose you're wondering where I hid all the millions of dollars that I stole over the”
19:02–19:10 -
Homer Simpson stands at the left and Chief Wiggum stands at the right, both facing an older man with grey…
“Where'd you hide the loot, Malloy? It's buried right here in Springfield, under a big T.”
19:10–19:18 -
Chief Wiggum stands in the center of a line of officers in a police station with a ceiling grid and green…
“Well, I guess I'll be going to my home now and sleep.”
19:18–19:32 -
Homer runs down the front steps of a police station with several uniformed officers chasing after him…
“Let me through!”
19:32–19:42 -
Mr. Burns sits behind a glass partition in an office, first alone and then facing Homer and Chief Wiggum…
“We need more information.”
19:42–19:54 -
Homer, Chief Wiggum, and Marge are first seen behind prison bars, with Homer in his white shirt staring ahead…
“Hi.”
19:54–20:05 -
Barney clenches his teeth beside a parked police car, then Homer and Marge ride a red motorcycle…
“No!”
20:05–20:15 -
Patty and Selma ride in a biplane cockpit behind an unnamed brown-haired man in a pink shirt, passing a Duff…
“Wow, that was fun, ladies!”
20:15–20:24 -
A bespectacled man in a brown fedora and maroon jacket drives a light blue car through a stream, grinning…
“You told me the stream was shallow!”
20:24–20:36 -
Kent Brockman sits at a desk in front of a large map with the word SPRINGFIELD on it, holding a white bowl…
“Hordes of panicky people seem to be evacuating the town for some unknown reason.”
20:36–20:44 -
Kent Brockman sits at a news desk with papers in front of him and talks while gesturing with one hand…
“Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is,”
20:44–20:52 -
Homer and Marge ride a small red motorbike-style vehicle, Marge with her tall blue beehive, as they pass…
20:52–21:01 -
Homer hugs the trunk of the T-shaped purple palm tree on a grassy island while Lenny and other onlookers…
21:01–21:12 -
Sideshow Bob and a shirtless man with a black afro work with pickaxes in a muddy pit while Chief Wiggum sits…
“Whoa!”
21:12–21:24 -
Chief Wiggum and Carl stand in a shirtless pose holding a dark box while Homer raises a small white paper up…
“There it is.”
21:24–21:31 -
Homer stands outdoors among a crowd seen only from the waist down, including blue jeans, brown trousers…
“Rightfully sorry, but there is no hidden treasure.”
21:31–21:41 -
Homer stands among a crowd of townspeople with Chief Wiggum in his police cap, and Patty and Selma…
“Keep digging. We're bound to find something.”
21:41–21:50 -
A group of small figures, including Marge with her tall blue beehive, sits at the bottom of a deep round pit…
“Well, dig our way out!”
21:50–22:00 -
The scene is a black screen with gold Simpsons-style credit text
22:00–22:09 -
No characters appear in this sequence; it is a black screen with gold credit text in the Simpsons title style
“Thank you.”
22:09–22:18 -
The scene is a black screen with yellow credit text in a cartoon-style font
22:18–22:28 -
No Simpsons characters appear in this moment; it is a black closing credits sequence with yellow…
22:28–22:37 -
The moment is a black end-credits sequence in gold-yellow lettering that changes from one card to the next
“Shh.”
22:37–22:47 -
A dark silhouetted movie audience sits in a theater, with a figure at left whose head has tall, bushy spiky…
“Shh.”
22:47–22:57
Who's in it
Bart Simpson, Homer Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson, Maggie Simpson, Moe Szyslak, Grampa Simpson, Principal Skinner, Ned Flanders, Barney Gumble, Chief Wiggum, Krusty the Clown, Lenny Leonard, Carl Carlson, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Mrs. Krabappel, Dr. Hibbert, Nelson Muntz, Kent Brockman, Otto Mann, Jasper Beardsley, Patty Bouvier, Selma Bouvier, Groundskeeper Willie, Santa's Little Helper, Lou, Jimbo Jones, Eddie, Miss Hoover, Kearney Zzyzwicz, Mayor Quimby, Kirk Van Houten, Larry Dalrymple, Luann Van Houten, Professor Frink, Dolph Starbeam, Horatio McCallister, Snake, Ruth Powers, Dr. Nick, Gareth Prince, Lionel Hutz, Herman Hermann, Sanjay Nahasapeemapetilon, Fat Tony, Scott Christian, Lucille Botzcowski, Irish Pete, Beatnik, Molloy, Professor, Saxophonist
Everyone who appears in it, from the Simpsons wiki. Every character