Ultrahouse 3000 Episodes

Dumbbell Indemnity

The Simpsons, season 9, episode 16. First aired March 1, 1998. 135 moments of about ten seconds each: open one for its frame, what happens and what's said.

The whole episode as text

About the episode

Homer takes the lonely Moe Szyslak to a nightclub, where Moe meets Renee and falls for her. Spending wildly to impress her, he has Homer dispose of his car for an insurance payout, but Homer is caught and jailed. Moe nearly leaves him behind for a Hawaii trip, then schemes to torch his tavern to free Homer, which drives Renee away before a dropped match sets the bar ablaze.

Written by
Ron Hauge
Directed by
Dominic Polcino
Guest stars
Marcia Wallace as Mrs. Krabappel
Helen Hunt as Renee
Chalkboard gag
Silly string is not a nasal spray
Couch gag
Compressor
Production code
5F12

The synopsis is our own. Credits and guest stars from Wikipedia and the Simpsons wiki.

Every moment

  1. Bart Simpson stands at a classroom chalkboard writing repeated lines…

    “The Simpsons”0:00–0:12
  2. Homer, Bart, Marge, Lisa and Maggie appear in a suburban driveway and a pink living room

    0:12–0:23
  3. No regular characters appear in this moment; it shows only a pink-backed retro television set with a blue…

    0:23–0:29
  4. Bart and Lisa appear in a pink living room with a red couch, red lamp and yellow-curtained window

    0:29–0:40
  5. Lisa Simpson and Bart Simpson are in the Simpson living room, throwing dark mud-like splatter and white goop…

    0:40–0:50
  6. Homer Simpson stands in the pink living room with Lisa, who has spiky hair and a red dress, and Bart…

    “fix it.”0:50–1:01
  7. Homer Simpson is hunched over a white water heater in a basement, first gripping a wrench to its fitting…

    “Out of my way! She's gonna blow!”1:01–1:11
  8. Marge stands outside the house in the first frames, then Homer hugs her while she holds a grocery bag…

    “What on Earth?”1:11–1:25
  9. Moe stands behind the bar at his establishment as Homer raises a foaming mug in a toast while Barney leans…

    “To Marge. and all the blissful years I've spent hiding from her in this bar.”1:25–1:37
  10. Homer Simpson stands at the bar of Moe's Tavern, where Moe faces him across the counter holding a mug of beer

    “I'm sorry, Homer. It's been four years since my last date with a whatcha call it, woman.”1:37–1:48
  11. Moe stands behind a bar lined with bottles and glasses, while Homer leans on the counter holding a foamy mug…

    “She got homesick for her old life, diving for tourist pennies in a Micronesian swamp.”1:48–2:00
  12. Moe stands at the left of a long wooden bar in Moe's Tavern, while Homer leans on the bar at the right…

    “Now, now, I won't hear of it, Mo. You're a fabulous catch.”2:00–2:13
  13. Homer gestures with a small purple television at a bar while Moe watches from behind the counter stocked…

    “Come on. We're going to the darkest bar in town.”2:13–2:22
  14. A lively party on a checkered dance floor under a mirrored disco ball has Sideshow Bob, with his huge spiky…

    “I don't know, Homer. Women can smell panic.”2:22–2:30
  15. Homer and Moe stand together on a checkered tile floor in a bar with blue tiled walls and red booths

    “And right now I gotta be reeking of it.”2:30–2:38
  16. Homer is partly visible behind an unnamed thin-to-average older man in a maroon suit and bow tie, who dances…

    “Uh, you look pretty clean.”2:38–2:46
  17. Homer stands on a checkered floor in a lounge with red booths and blue tiled walls, while Moe talks to him…

    “Okay, I won't lie to you. A lot of people saw that.”2:46–2:58
  18. Moe and a blonde woman in an orange dress with a red choker sit and talk at a small round table in a lounge…

    “Oh, hi.”2:58–3:08
  19. A blonde woman in an orange top, red choker and orange earring sits at a small round table in a bar with blue…

    “Because Bacardi makes the night come alive with freshness.”3:08–3:19
  20. Homer and Moe are on a blue-tiled sidewalk beneath the red scalloped awning of Stu's Disco, with its pink…

    “Hey, don't give up, Moe. The girl of your dreams has gotta be in some bar.”3:19–3:24
  21. Moe and Homer stand together in a dim alley beside a metal trash can and a chain-link fence

    “Ah, there's no body for Moe. I'm just gonna die lonely and ugly and dead.”3:24–3:35
  22. Moe approaches a woman with a short reddish-brown bob and a light blue t-shirt who is tending a flower cart…

    “Aw, cheer up.”3:35–3:43
  23. Moe stands at a flower stall under a pink scalloped umbrella, talking with a woman who has a short…

    “Really?”3:43–3:53
  24. Moe stands at a street flower stall under a pink awning, beside potted tulips and gladiolus, speaking…

    “Well, no, well, not a lot.”3:53–4:02
  25. Moe and a woman with a short auburn bob in a light blue top stand outside beside a flower stall with yellow…

    “Oh, that's awful. And look at your little ears.”4:02–4:11
  26. A grey-haired man in a maroon suit and blue bow tie stands outside a blue-windowed building with a pink…

    “Well, thanks.”4:11–4:20
  27. A grey-haired man in a maroon jacket and bow tie and a woman with a reddish-brown bob and a light blue top…

    “Yeah, I... Look, I don't suppose you'd never want to, uh...”4:20–4:32
  28. Homer Simpson stands on a city sidewalk beside Mr. Burns, the stooped old man with grey hair at the sides…

    “Ah, what was I thinking? A beautiful girl like you and a gargoyle like me.”4:32–4:41
  29. Moe stands on a blue-tiled sidewalk outside a brick building with a large window and door, facing a woman…

    “Hot damn!”4:41–4:51
  30. Moe first stands in a narrow alley talking with and reaching toward a woman with a reddish-brown bob…

    “Who cares? You're going out with me.”4:51–5:02
  31. Moe and a woman with a short reddish-brown bob in a light blue top walk hand in hand through a park…

    “I thought love was only true and fairytale”5:02–5:10
  32. A grey-haired man in a striped shirt and helmet rides rollerblades outside a Skate Rental shop…

    “Then I saw her face”5:10–5:22
  33. Two orange-jumpsuited women, a grey-haired woman and a brown-haired woman, hold hands on a stage before red…

    “I've been alone”5:22–5:32
  34. Marge and Homer sit at a restaurant table with champagne glasses

    “Hey, hey, Sabu!”5:32–5:46
  35. Marge Simpson sits at a restaurant table beside Homer Simpson in his blue suit and red tie…

    “So, Renee,”5:46–5:56
  36. Homer and Marge sit at a restaurant table with champagne flutes and a red tulip in a vase, first with Homer…

    “I didn't mean any disrespect I just can't figure it out Well,”5:56–6:06
  37. Moe sits in a tuxedo and bow tie at a restaurant table with a red-dressed woman in a pink fur wrap and pearl…

    “to be honest, at first it was just pity Yeah, it's like out of a storybook, ain't it?”6:06–6:15
  38. Marge sits at a restaurant table across from Homer, bald and wearing a blue suit and red tie…

    “And he's so thoughtful.”6:15–6:23
  39. Moe and Mrs. Krabappel sit at a restaurant table with champagne glasses and a single red rose

    “Yeah, well, I just get so tired of idiots shooting their mouths off,”6:23–6:35
  40. Mr. Burns sits in a booth in a red-walled restaurant, with a thin waiter in a tuxedo, bow tie and thin…

    “Excuse me, sir. Will there be anything else?”6:35–6:47
  41. Moe talks on a red phone and Homer sits in the background of the bar, while the scene opens…

    “Yeah, I want to send her two dozen roses.”6:47–7:00
  42. Moe stands behind the bar holding a red telephone receiver to his ear while talking

    “No, no, no, I don't want that on the card.”7:00–7:11
  43. Moe stands behind the bar holding a red corded telephone to his ear

    “Maxed out?”7:11–7:21
  44. Moe and Homer talk across the bar; the scene starts with Moe's hand on a red phone and a red phone and cash…

    “Well, that's it. It's all over.”7:21–7:33
  45. Moe stands behind the bar of his tavern at first with a hand to his forehead, then gestures with both hands…

    “Oh, come on, Moe. Think of all you have to offer besides money.”7:33–7:41
  46. Moe and Homer are outside Moe's bar

    “You bunch of ungrateful ingrates, you...”7:41–7:54
  47. Moe and Homer stand outside a bar with stained-glass windows

    “Nah, my car ain't worth nothing.”7:54–8:05
  48. Homer and Moe stand outside a orange building with red and green diamond-patterned windows

    “You gotta steal this car and wreck it for me.”8:05–8:18
  49. Homer and Moe stand outside a brick building with diamond-patterned windows and a partly visible red sign

    “Oh, you did. But I still don't know.”8:18–8:29
  50. Homer and Moe appear in Moe's tavern

    “Okay, here's the plan. This model car represents my car.”8:29–8:34
  51. Homer sits at a bar counter facing Moe, the grey-haired bartender in a bow tie and dark suspenders…

    “Okay, here's the plan. This model car represents my car.”8:34–8:42
  52. Homer sits at the bar facing Moe, the grey-haired bartender in a bow tie and dark apron, while a small red…

    “Mmm... me... Hey, hey, that's great. Now the car's gonna have to represent you,”8:42–8:51
  53. Moe talks animatedly across the bar to Homer, seen from behind in a white shirt, in a tavern…

    “Forget it, forget it. Listen up here. Tomorrow night at 8,”8:51–9:03
  54. Homer Simpson leans on the bar at Moe's Tavern, with a Duff Beer sign and a dartboard on the green wall…

    “and I'm gonna be right there with him. So, as soon as you get back,”9:03–9:08
  55. Homer and Moe stand at a red bar counter in a dim tavern

    “we steal the car, right? Right.”9:08–9:19
  56. Homer Simpson and Moe stand at the bar of Moe's Tavern beneath a Duff Beer sign and a Springfield Isotopes…

    “Insurance company pays off 5,000 clams. I keep showing Rene the Suite Life.”9:19–9:29
  57. Marge with her tall blue beehive, Lisa in her red spiky hair and pearls, Bart in his orange shirt, and Maggie…

    “Why all the blank? Why all the pearls? Why all the hair?”9:29–9:39
  58. Lisa, Bart, Marge and baby Maggie sit at a long dinner table in a pink dining room, and a heavyset…

    “You look a little nervous, Dad.”9:39–9:51
  59. Police Chief Wiggum stands on a dock at night beneath a banner reading "POLICE MOONLIGHT CHARITY CRUISE"…

    “Thank you. Welcome, folks. Have fun. Drink responsibly.”9:51–10:05
  60. Mr. Burns stands at a railing beside a police officer with a blue cap and badge, who is a fat police chief…

    “Uh, excuse me there, officer. You see my car there with the rubber hippie daisy,”10:05–10:10
  61. Chief Wiggum and Mr. Burns lean on the edge of a vehicle's window ledge side by side

    “Uh, yeah, what about it? I was just thinking what a good parking job I did with it.”10:10–10:17
  62. A fat police chief in a blue cap and a thin older man in a white captain's cap lean out of a car window…

    “Yeah, hey, that is nice. Hey, Lou, Lou, check out that park job in 7A.”10:17–10:24
  63. Homer Simpson hides in a teal hedge at night, then creeps out and circles a mustard-yellow station wagon…

    “I'm going to be the best car thief ever.”10:24–10:35
  64. A heavyset yellow-skinned man in a black knit cap and black sweater grips the steering wheel of a tan car…

    “He thought he was gonna steal.”10:35–10:48
  65. A heavy, balding man in a black knit cap and black sweater drives an olive-green sedan into the Springfield…

    “They're showing hail to the chimp. Oh, I have time to see one little movie.”10:48–10:57
  66. A chimpanzee in a dark suit sits behind a desk labeled PRESIDENT with a banana beside it while a green-haired…

    “Mr. President,”10:57–11:10
  67. No characters are identifiable in this moment; the scene shows a lit-up cruise ship with a red Santa hat…

    11:10–11:11
  68. A white-capped ship captain in a blue jacket and a woman with a reddish-brown bob, pink dress and pearl…

    “Mo, you seem awfully distracted tonight.”11:11–11:24
  69. On the deck of a ship at night, a stooped, thin old man in a captain's cap and blue jacket, identified…

    “I hadn't noticed.”11:24–11:37
  70. Mr. Burns stands at a ship's railing at night beside a brown-bobbed woman in a pink dress and pearl necklace

    “The train. You hear that? That's the train.”11:37–11:48
  71. Homer is seen in a purple car at a drive-in theater, first watching a billboard where a monkey in a tuxedo…

    “Oh, no.”11:48–11:59
  72. Homer is first seen in a close-up beside a purple car at night, then drives a tan sedan toward a railroad…

    “Oh!”11:59–12:09
  73. A heavyset older man in a grey jacket and cap and a woman in a red dress walk along a confetti-strewn ship…

    “Oh, honey, this whole evening was so wonderful.”12:09–12:20
  74. Mr. Burns stands at a railing beside a woman with a brown bob, pink dress and pearl necklace, gesturing…

    “Yeah, yeah, the plan went off without a hitch.”12:20–12:33
  75. A man in a white captain's cap with an anchor emblem, a blue jacket and grey hair at the sides stands…

    “The one that was parked in 7A. Hey!”12:33–12:43
  76. Homer Simpson grips the steering wheel of the olive-green van with a pink flower decal and a wooden-paneled…

    “Homer, you moron. Homer, you genius.”12:43–12:55
  77. A yellow-skinned man with black hair and a black outfit thrashes and shouts in the water inside a sinking…

    12:55–13:08
  78. Homer sits in a wooden boat under a tan canopy, gripping the edge with his yellow hands and grimacing before…

    13:08–13:19
  79. Chief Wiggum stands at a ship's railing at night beside a dark-skinned police officer and a man in a white…

    “That car thief can't hold his breath forever.”13:19–13:30
  80. Homer is first seen splashing into a night-time lake below starry purple sky and brown mountains…

    “Isn't that your friend Homer?”13:30–13:43
  81. Chief Wiggum aims a revolver at a man with black hair and a black sweater who is floating in blue water…

    “You're under arrest, Simpson, for Grand Theft Auto.”13:43–13:53
  82. A police officer, a lean man with orange-red hair under a blue cap, photographs Homer, a bald, heavy man…

    “But this time, try to look scarier. Kind of like...”13:53–14:03
  83. Homer and Chief Wiggum sit at a desk in the police station, with Wiggum holding a sheet of paper and grinning…

    “You know, fingerprints are just like snowflakes.”14:03–14:14
  84. Homer stands behind the bars of a jail cell while Marge in her tall blue beehive and green dress, Bart…

    “Whoa, hang on a minute.”14:14–14:22
  85. Homer grips the bars of a jail cell with both hands, his eyes wide and his mouth opening and closing as he…

    “Listen, I know it looks bad,”14:22–14:31
  86. Homer Simpson stands behind jail cell bars, gripping them with both hands and a chain dangling…

    “I'd like to believe you. That's my girl.”14:31–14:43
  87. Homer stands behind jail bars holding a pack of cigarettes, while Bart stands outside the bars…

    “Oh, thanks, boy.”14:43–14:51
  88. Homer lies on a wooden plank chained to a grey prison wall with his mouth open, then sits up and slouches…

    “Psst!”14:51–15:02
  89. Moe stands on the left facing a barred jail cell window, where Homer grips the bars and peers out

    “But I'm in jail.”15:02–15:13
  90. Moe peers through a small barred window at Homer, who stands outside in a white shirt and holds a blue bar…

    “Say you lent it to me! Yeah, I wish I could, Homer, but if I change my story,”15:13–15:22
  91. Moe stands outside a barred window and talks to Homer, who is behind the bars with his hands gripping them…

    “Oh, cripes the puppy dog look.”15:22–15:30
  92. Homer clutches the bars and chews a donut while looking worried, with Moe, the grey-haired bartender…

    “Harrymo, at 3 o'clock they're going to put us in the exercise yard.”15:30–15:40
  93. Moe and a woman with a short dark-red bob, light blue top and blue skirt, are first on a building's front…

    “Yeah, yeah, I'm okay. There's just something I gotta do.”15:40–15:50
  94. Moe stands at a counter beside a dark-haired woman in a blue top and red lipstick, a one-off character…

    “Well, if Hawaii's what my baby wants, Hawaii's what my baby gets.”15:50–16:01
  95. Moe walks outside Springfield Travel with a brunette woman in a light blue top and teal skirt, holding cash…

    “No, no, no. We're going for the real thing.”16:01–16:14
  96. Moe counts a fat stack of dollar bills against a red brick wall, then Homer stands in a jail cell…

    “Ten minutes till fresh air and exercise.”16:14–16:25
  97. Moe and a brown-haired woman with an orange hibiscus in her hair, both wearing Hawaiian leis, stand…

    “Ananakuli makawani ananana lulu waa.”16:25–16:32
  98. Homer Simpson stands behind the barred window of a jail cell, gripping the bars with his yellow hands…

    “What about Hawaii?”16:32–16:44
  99. Homer Simpson stands behind the bars of a jail cell, gripping the bars with both hands while his mouth opens…

    “Let me out! I'm innocent!”16:44–16:55
  100. Homer first grips the bars of a jail cell with both hands, looking anxious and wide-eyed, then sinks his face…

    “Plug it in, boys.”16:55–16:58
  101. Moe stands behind the bar at his counter with an open wooden box in front of him

    “Ukulele?”16:58–17:10
  102. Moe stands behind the bar of his tavern with its red ceiling, green walls and argyle panels, first gesturing…

    “Homer!”17:10–17:23
  103. Homer stands behind a counter in a room with a red ceiling, a green wall, and blue pennants reading "Atomic"…

    “Oh, right.”17:23–17:33
  104. Moe stands behind the bar of his tavern, which is lined with bottles, a cash register and glasses…

    “Oh my God, he's right.”17:33–17:42
  105. Moe stands behind the bar of his tavern near the cash register and bottle shelves

    “Hey!”17:42–17:50
  106. Moe stands behind the bar under Duff signs and first turns away with his hands raised, then faces a woman…

    “You're yelling at me, Momo? Huh?”17:50–18:04
  107. Moe stands behind the bar at Moe's Tavern beside a woman with short auburn hair and a light blue top…

    “Nah, it ain't that.”18:04–18:14
  108. Homer sits chained to a wooden bench in a grey-walled cell with a blue floor while a bespectacled librarian…

    “Would you care for some reading material?”18:14–18:27
  109. Moe leans on the bar counter across from a brown-haired patron in a light blue shirt seen…

    “So, like a coward, I let Homer take the rap for the whole scam.”18:27–18:34
  110. A woman with a short reddish-brown bob and a light blue shirt leans on the bar counter beside a blue candy…

    “I don't know what to say. I'm shocked.”18:34–18:45
  111. Moe stands in the bar while a brown-haired woman in a light blue top leans on the counter, gesturing with one…

    “Oh, Mo, don't say that. You made a mistake,”18:45–18:59
  112. Moe and an unnamed woman with a short reddish-brown bob and a light blue top stand at the bar in a tavern

    “Unless... Unless I send a letter to the police clearing Homer.”18:59–19:09
  113. Moe stands behind the bar in a Moe's-style tavern lined with bottles and a cash register, first pointing…

    “Oh, my God. We switch clothes with them and leave them in the bar.”19:09–19:17
  114. Moe stands behind the bar of his tavern, first pouring a brown drink from a green bottle that spills…

    “Yeah, would you hand me my keys? Uh, yeah, here you go.”19:17–19:26
  115. A one-off woman with a short reddish-brown bob, a light blue top, a teal skirt and a black handbag stands…

    “Yes, Mo, I'm going to find corpses.”19:26–19:39
  116. The scene opens with a bar counter engulfed in flames beneath a Duff Beer sign, then Moe is shown among…

    “Uh-oh.”19:39–19:52
  117. Moe and Homer are in Moe's Tavern as flames spread along the bar counter and over the red-cushioned stools

    “You!”19:52–20:02
  118. Moe and Homer are in the bar as a fire spreads across the walls and counter

    “I gotcha. You're going down, pal!”20:02–20:12
  119. Moe and Homer are trapped in a smoky, burning bar with red-cushioned stools

    “Oh, boy.”20:12–20:25
  120. Barney first appears in a close-up, wide-eyed and worried, as flames fill the space behind him and bottles…

    “Mo!”20:25–20:36
  121. Barney struggles across a blue-tiled room carrying two grey Duff beer kegs on his shoulders, then swings one…

    20:36–20:41
  122. Barney is at first leaning over Duff Beer cases next to Moe and Homer, in his white shirt and undershorts…

    “Oh!”20:41–20:53
  123. Moe and Homer stand over a heavy, brown-haired man lying face-down on the blue tiles in front of the burning…

    “Can you ever forgive me? Oh, I could never stay mad at you, Mo.”20:53–21:04
  124. Moe stands behind the bar while Homer hugs him from behind and rests his head on Moe's shoulder

    “My poor bar.”21:04–21:06
  125. Moe and Homer stand in front of a burning building with flames and smoke behind them

    “It's all gone!”21:06–21:19
  126. A jukebox with a spinning record sits empty at first, then a bald man in a red jacket with a foamy beer…

    “Oh, another beer down here.”21:19–21:29
  127. Marge Simpson stands at the kitchen counter holding carrots while Bart and Lisa face her, and Homer, Maggie…

    “Hey, there's a balloon machine in the bathroom.”21:29–21:41
  128. Moe and Homer stand in a bar with a red stool and a tavern background

    “Woo-hoo!”21:41–21:44
  129. Two small figures, one a little taller than the other, walk up the front path toward the entrance of Moe's…

    “One German, one Scott, one beer.”21:44–21:53
  130. No regulars are clearly identifiable; a faint, indistinct figure stands in the glowing doorway of Moe's bar…

    21:53–22:02
  131. No Simpsons characters appear; the moment is a black screen with rolling credits in orange lettering

    22:02–22:12
  132. A black closing credits sequence of The Simpsons

    22:12–22:21
  133. No characters appear in this black-background end credits sequence; only orange text is shown

    22:21–22:30
  134. A black-screen end credits sequence from The Simpsons episode 5F12

    22:30–22:39
  135. Silhouetted audience members sit in rows of seats in a dim theater, with a bushy-haired figure…

    22:39–22:50

Who's in it

Bart Simpson, Homer Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson, Maggie Simpson, Moe Szyslak, Principal Skinner, Barney Gumble, Chief Wiggum, Lenny Leonard, Carl Carlson, Mrs. Krabappel, Otto Mann, Groundskeeper Willie, Lou, Eddie, Larry Dalrymple, Hans Moleman, Luann Van Houten, Sam, Snake, Sanjay Nahasapeemapetilon, Princess Kashmir, Pyro, Bacardi Woman, Balloon Seller, Disco Woman, Marine World Guard, Police Photographer, Renee, Willy

Everyone who appears in it, from the Simpsons wiki. Every character