Homer and Apu
The Simpsons, season 5, episode 13. First aired February 10, 1994. 138 moments of about ten seconds each: open one for its frame, what happens and what's said.
← Bart Gets Famous Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy → The whole episode as text
About the episode
After Apu sells him spoiled meat, Homer wears a hidden camera for Kent Brockman's consumer show, getting Apu fired from the Kwik-E-Mart and replaced by actor James Woods. To repay his karmic debt, Apu moves in with the Simpsons and does their chores, then travels with Homer to India to beg the chain's leader for his job. Taking a bullet for Woods in a robbery wins it back.
- Written by
- Greg Daniels
- Directed by
- Mark Kirkland
- Guest stars
- James Woods
- Chalkboard gag
I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
- Couch gag
- Peeking Heads
- Production code
- 1F10
The synopsis is our own. Credits and guest stars from Wikipedia and the Simpsons wiki.
Every moment
-
Bart is in a classroom writing on a blackboard that repeatedly reads…
“The Simpsons”
0:00–0:12 -
Homer handles a glowing green rod with tongs beside a CAUTION sign while Mr. Burns and Smithers watch…
0:12–0:25 -
Lisa plays clarinet in a crowded school band room while an elderly white-haired conductor with a bushy…
0:25–0:38 -
Homer, Bart, Marge and Lisa appear in a living room, first with Homer stumbling out of a pink doorway…
0:38–0:51 -
Apu stands behind the counter of the Kwik-E-Mart while several customers gather before him, including a bald…
“I need one 29 cents to am That's $1.85.”
0:51–1:04 -
At the Kwik-E-Mart counter, Apu stands smiling and gesturing while a dark-haired man in a light blue shirt…
“How much is your penny candy?”
1:04–1:15 -
Apu stands in the store beside shelves of wrapped snack cakes
“Silly customer!”
1:15–1:25 -
Apu stands in the store holding a white package and reads it, then looks down at it
“Jiminy Cricket.”
1:25–1:32 -
Apu stands beside a rack of snacks at the store counter as Homer reaches in and grabs a packet of ham…
“This time I've gone too far.”
1:32–1:43 -
Homer Simpson sits on the brown couch in the living room beside a purple lamp and a turquoise telephone
“Tomoch churning.”
1:43–1:50 -
Homer Simpson sits on a brown couch in the living room beside a purple lamp and a turquoise phone, gripping…
“Bowels clenching.”
1:50–1:57 -
Two uniformed men drive a white ambulance with flashing red lights along a tree-lined road, with the word…
“Well, sir,”
1:57–2:10 -
Homer appears first as a stitched, pin-studded doll against a green backdrop, then Homer and Apu are seen…
“Your old meat made me sick. Oh, I'm so sorry.”
2:10–2:18 -
Homer Simpson stands behind the Kwik-E-Mart counter beside a cash register and a bucket of pink shrimp…
“This shrimp isn't frozen, and it smells funny.”
2:18–2:27 -
A cartoon brown hound dog in a white trench coat and white fedora, a character resembling Kent Brockman's…
“Brought to you by...”
2:27–2:34 -
Homer Simpson lies on the brown couch under a red blanket with his head propped on a white pillow, one arm…
“Brought to you by...”
2:34–2:44 -
Kent Brockman sits at a news desk holding a sheet of white paper in front of a teal backdrop with a 'BITE…
“Good evening. Here's an update on last week's nursing home expose, geezers in freezers.”
2:44–2:51 -
Kent Brockman sits at a desk holding a sheet of paper while the on-screen sign behind him reads BITE BACK
“The footage you saw was of a fur storage facility.”
2:51–2:58 -
A grey-haired man in a red jacket, white shirt and dark tie, who may be Kent Brockman, sits at a desk…
“Now, coming up next, the case of the cantankerous old geezer.”
2:58–3:10 -
A grey-haired man in a brown suit and dark tie, seated behind a desk and reading from a sheet of paper…
“If you have a consumer complaint, just call this number.”
3:10–3:14 -
Lisa Simpson sits on the left side of a brown couch with a pink cushion beside Homer Simpson, the bald heavy…
“Boring.”
3:14–3:26 -
A bald, heavy-set Homer in a white shirt and blue pants starts the scene outside the pink, purple-walled…
“All right, are you willing to go undercover to nail this creep?”
3:26–3:38 -
A grey-haired man in a yellow shirt and dark tie sits smoking in a dim office lined with golden trophies…
“All right, all right, all right.”
3:38–3:49 -
Homer is squeezed in a cramped vehicle interior with a round gauge on the wall
“Now, go get us some incriminating footage.”
3:49–3:59 -
Homer stands outside the Kwik-E-Mart beside a pale green van marked ORDINARY VAN, pulling an orange cap down…
3:59–4:10 -
Apu stands behind the checkout counter beside a CASH sign while Homer comes to the counter
“Don't be alarmed, Appu. Just go about your daily routine like I'm not wearing the hat.”
4:10–4:19 -
Apu stands behind the counter by a sign reading 'No Checks, Credit Cards, Food Stamps' and a pink 'Bargain…
“Your headgear seems to be emitting a buzzing noise, sir.”
4:19–4:32 -
An older man with swept-back white hair, a red jacket and dark tie stands in a cramped control room, pointing…
“Homer, that hat's been with the station for 20 years.”
4:32–4:40 -
Apu works behind the store counter beside a hot dog roller and a sign reading NO CHECKS
“Well, time to replenish the hot dog roller.”
4:40–4:49 -
Apu stands behind the store counter holding a plate in one hand and a hot dog in the other, first looking up…
“no, it is encrusted with filth.”
4:49–4:59 -
Principal Skinner appears in a close-up in front of a control panel, glancing to the side
“Hot diggity dog, we've got him, Mr. Simpson.”
4:59–5:10 -
Apu stands beside Kent Brockman, the grey-haired news anchor in a brown suit and purple tie, who holds…
“Apu, will you ever stop selling spoiled meat?”
5:10–5:20 -
Apu stands behind the counter as Mr. Burns speaks to him while Carl and Troy McClure stand beside Burns
“Apu Nahasapimapetalan, you have disgraced the Quickie Mart Corporation.”
5:20–5:29 -
A grey-haired man in glasses and a dark suit stands in front of two men in grey suits, one dark-haired…
“Ah, true.”
5:29–5:37 -
Apu stands behind the counter beside a bespectacled man in a dark suit and blue vest with purple-grey hair…
“I'm sorry, Appu. I have no choice.”
5:37–5:46 -
Apu stands behind the cash counter while Mr. Burns and his thin assistant Smithers confront him in the store
“Now, turn in your pricing gun.”
5:46–5:58 -
Apu stands at the store counter holding a small grey object near his face, then presses his hand…
“Fired.”
5:58–6:09 -
Apu and a grey-haired, bespectacled man in a navy suit struggle over a sausage at a counter…
“I don't want to live anymore. Give me that wiener.”
6:09–6:16 -
Apu leans on a purple railing at night, his expression shifting from glum to wide-eyed as he looks down…
“I've been drummed out of my profession.”
6:16–6:28 -
A heavy man in a black cap and brown sweater and an older man in a fedora and tan jacket sit on rocks…
“Who needs money when we got fetits?”
6:28–6:40 -
Apu walks along a rainy suburban sidewalk at night, past a fence and a house with a pink door, toward a pink…
“This is all because of Homer Simpson.”
6:40–6:50 -
Homer Simpson sits on a lavender sofa in the dim living room, holding a red can in one hand
“Yo, check this out. Black guys drive a car like this.”
6:50–6:54 -
Carl stands against a brick wall framed by a TV-style border
“Yo, check this out. Black guys drive a car like this.”
6:54–7:04 -
Homer Simpson sits on a purple couch holding a red-and-silver can, first laughing with eyes shut and an arm…
“It's true. It's true.”
7:04–7:16 -
Homer and a man in a green jacket with black hair stand together at a rainy doorway, where a dark silhouette…
7:16–7:26 -
Homer appears in close-up in a pink room with a red chair and a draped table behind him
7:26–7:29 -
Homer Simpson and Apu stand in a doorway with a red door and a blue doorknob against a pink wall
“No, don't kill me. I didn't know there was film in that camera and that hat.”
7:29–7:39 -
Homer and Apu stand at a red door with a blue knocker set in a pink wall
“Mr. Simpson, you misunderstand me. In my village, this is the traditional pose of apology.”
7:39–7:48 -
Apu stands in a purple archway and presses his palms together in a pleading gesture, then spreads his hands…
“Many have died needlessly.”
7:48–8:01 -
Homer and a dark-haired man in a green sweater with yellow trim stand in a pink-walled archway
“You're selling what now? I'm selling only the concept of karmic realignment.”
8:01–8:12 -
Marge, Bart and Lisa peer through the barred bay window curtains at a man in a green jacket and white pants…
“Is he still out there? Yes, he's raking leaves.”
8:12–8:24 -
Homer stands at the left edge of a pink room beside a dark red coat rack and a brown wooden door, first…
“If he wants to make it up to you so badly, I think you should let him.”
8:24–8:36 -
Marge Simpson sits at the dining table in a green top, holding a fork and knife over a plate of dark food…
“It certainly is exotic.”
8:36–8:45 -
Homer sits at a dining table with a plate of food, a glass of milk, and a knife and spoon, first poking…
“Stop being such babies. You can't be afraid to try new things.”
8:45–8:58 -
The scene opens outside the KWIK-E-MART store, with a Kwik-E-Mart sign over the storefront and a 'Park Pass…
“All right, why do you want to become part of the Quickie Mart family?”
8:58–9:09 -
A tall blonde woman in a blue suit and lilac scarf stands beside a grey-haired man in glasses and a dark…
“He's head and shoulders above everyone else.”
9:09–9:23 -
Principal Skinner sits at a desk reading a sheet of paper, then frowns and rests his chin on his hand…
“Onion Field, The Hard Way. Wait, wait a minute.”
9:23–9:33 -
Troy McClure sits on a wooden chair in a small room with a blue pipe and wall vent, facing a grey-haired man…
“Well, to be honest, in my upcoming movie,”
9:33–9:43 -
Troy McClure sits in a wooden chair beside a pale door with a blue vertical bar
“For instance, True Believer, I actually worked in a law firm for two months,”
9:43–9:55 -
A brown-haired man in a brown jacket sits facing an older grey-haired man in a suit, glasses and a vest…
“Well, I've said too much. Welcome aboard.”
9:55–10:04 -
Apu grips the back of an orange chair in a pink room with flower wallpaper and a window while Homer stands…
“Relax, please.”
10:04–10:14 -
Apu stands in a purple-cabineted kitchen with a checkered floor and a stacked pyramid of canned corn…
“Mmm.”
10:14–10:24 -
Apu in a green sweater and white pants, Lisa in a red dress with pearls, and Bart in an orange shirt and blue…
“Mmm, corn. Haven't had that in a while. Yeah, delicious corn.”
10:24–10:34 -
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon leans over the blue counter in the Kwik-E-Mart, with cans of corn in the foreground…
“Please, Mrs. Simpson, I cannot go there.”
10:34–10:45 -
Marge Simpson pushes a shopping cart through the aisles of the Kwik-E-Mart, where Apu leans into the cart…
10:45–10:54 -
Marge stands beside Apu, who runs the Kwik-E-Mart and wears a green jacket and white apron, in a store aisle…
“Oh, that's a good price for 12 pounds of nutmeg.”
10:54–11:04 -
Marge Simpson with her tall blue beehive pushes a cart through the Kwik-E-Mart aisles among other shoppers…
“Just a reminder that we love each and every one of you.”
11:04–11:16 -
Barney stands at a bar counter stocked with bottles and a Duff Beer keg, with brown pancake syrup bottles…
“Ma'am!”
11:16–11:26 -
Apu and Marge stand in the aisle of the Kwik-E-Mart beside a shopping cart as a man with swept-back reddish…
“Help me!”
11:26–11:39 -
Marge Simpson and Apu stand together at a shopping cart in the Kwik-E-Mart
“Mrs. Simpson, the express line is the fastest line, not always.”
11:39–11:50 -
Marge Simpson stands at the left edge pushing a wire shopping cart, with Apu of the Kwik-E-Mart and a few…
“He would talk the cashier's head off.”
11:50–11:52 -
Grampa stands at a shop counter beside an unnamed thin man in a blue turtleneck
“Ah, there's an interesting story behind this nickel.”
11:52–12:00 -
An elderly man with tall yellow tufts of hair, glasses, and a bushy mustache, wearing a tan jacket, stands…
“I got up in the morning and made myself a piece of toast.”
12:00–12:09 -
Marge Simpson with her tall blue beehive and red bead necklace stands beside Apu, who runs the Kwik-E-Mart…
“Let's cut to that line. But that's the longest.”
12:09–12:20 -
Marge is seen in close-up inside the Kwik-E-Mart, smiling and glancing sideways in the first two images
“75, 85, 90, and a dollar. Thank you, and come again.”
12:20–12:30 -
A young customer in a purple knit beanie and black shirt, seen from behind, stands at the counter…
“Hey, wait a minute. Hey, uh, could I just ask you a question?”
12:30–12:42 -
Inside a convenience store with a BC Donuts case, a hot dog warmer, and a snack rack, a person in a purple…
“Actually, I thought it was a little labored.”
12:42–12:55 -
A one-off customer in a purple knit cap, long brown hair and a black shirt stands at the Kwik-E-Mart counter…
“I'm me?”
12:55–13:06 -
Marge sits at the kitchen table with Lisa, who wears a pearl necklace and red dress, and Bart in his orange…
“If it weren't for him, we'd still be in line at the Monster Mart.”
13:06–13:16 -
Bart Simpson sits on a small red chair at the blue kitchen table in the Simpson home, eyes shut and mouth…
“And he taught me how to do this.”
13:16–13:25 -
Homer Simpson sits at the kitchen table holding a fork with a piece of broccoli on it, grinning…
“Just thank you all for the kind praise. Well, you deserve it.”
13:25–13:33 -
Homer Simpson first appears as a red silhouette with a yellow brain and a pink spinal cord, then his cartoon…
“Herb, a poor friend me good.”
13:33–13:40 -
Lisa Simpson stands in the Simpsons' living room in front of a red armchair, a hanging basket of fruit…
“I think what my father's saying is you're like a member of the family now.”
13:40–13:44 -
Apu stands at the head of a dinner table in a kitchen with yellow corn-patterned curtains, hands clasped…
“I feel that way too.”
13:44–13:51 -
Apu sits at the dinner table with Marge in her tall blue beehive, Homer in his white shirt, Bart in orange…
“there's no structure I have been to which I'd rather call my home.”
13:51–13:59 -
Apu stands at the foot of a staircase with a wooden cane in the Simpson family's pink entryway, while Homer…
“When I first arrived, you were on such church,”
13:59–14:10 -
Apu talks with Bart at first, then turns to Homer in a white shirt beside a window with purple curtains…
“philosophize Bart's adept at spinning lies Homer's a delightful fella”
14:10–14:21 -
Apu stands on a red stool in a pink room, first with his arms flung wide and then holding a curved wooden…
“Now here's the tricky part Oh, won't you rhyme with me?”
14:21–14:31 -
Lisa Simpson spreads her arms wide and grins in the first two frames, while Bart holds a brown brick…
“They made that sticky mart.”
14:31–14:39 -
Apu stands on a red wooden chair in a pink hallway with an arched doorway, holding a cane and spreading…
“Who needs the quickie mart?”
14:39–14:52 -
Apu gestures with one hand and holds a cane while talking, then climbs onto an orange chair in a pink arched…
“Not me.”
14:52–14:55 -
Marge with her tall blue beehive holds Maggie, who sucks a pacifier and wears a blue bow, while Lisa…
“Everything really wrapped up nicely.”
14:55–15:06 -
Homer, Marge, Lisa, Bart and baby Maggie sit side by side on the brown couch in the pink living room…
“And we've all found happiness.”
15:06–15:17 -
A dark-haired man in a green jacket and yellow pants sits hunched on a rooftop at night under a full moon…
“Who needs that quickie mart?”
15:17–15:29 -
Homer, Marge, Maggie, Bart and Lisa stand together against a blue backdrop, with Homer scowling and shaking…
“Hey, he's not happy at all.”
15:29–15:40 -
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon sits on a dark red couch in the Simpsons' living room, flanked by Lisa, who wears…
“I can't lie to myself, you know.”
15:40–15:52 -
Lisa stands at the left edge of a pink living room while Homer leans toward Apu, a dark-skinned man…
“I'm coming with you. I got you fired. It's the least I can do.”
15:52–16:03 -
Lisa, Apu and Homer sit together on a couch in a pink-walled living room with a framed picture and a red lamp
“Dad, that's over 10,000 miles away.”
16:03–16:13 -
Homer and Apu ride donkeys loaded with red suitcases and a grey trunk across a dusty brown desert hillside…
“I'm sorry we couldn't take a cab, but I spent my last dollar on the plane tickets.”
16:13–16:25 -
No regular characters appear in this moment
“Are we in India yet? No. Are we in India yet?”
16:25–16:36 -
A one-off clerk in a pale blue uniform with green-trimmed sleeves and a round name badge stands…
“Tony, Tony, you're my agent. You have to do something about this.”
16:36–16:46 -
A store clerk in a light blue uniform shirt with a name badge and brown hair, who is not one of the regulars…
“convenience store clerk to a jittery Eskimo firefighter?”
16:46–16:56 -
Apu stands at the store counter holding a phone to his ear and a dark object in his hand
“Now, this is gross. This would be gross points, right, in this new...”
16:56–17:06 -
A brown-haired man in a light jacket with teal sleeve trim leans on a counter inside a small…
“What do you mean I gotta give two weeks' notice?”
17:06–17:16 -
Several one-off characters appear in an airport terminal: a woman in a purple hooded dress…
“Oh, great Christians.”
17:16–17:26 -
Homer is packed among a crowd of passengers and attendants in white uniforms on the open carriage…
“Attention passengers.”
17:26–17:33 -
Homer and Apu, the latter with black hair, a green jacket and a large backpack, travel through the mountains…
“There she is.”
17:33–17:45 -
Homer and a dark-haired man in a green jacket with a green backpack, both holding purple ski poles, hike…
“There she is, the world's first convenience store.”
17:45–17:56 -
Homer and Carl climb a wide white staircase toward a grand purple-doored entrance flanked by gold ornaments
17:56–18:04 -
Homer Simpson and Apu Nahasapeemapetilon stand together on a red carpet in a purple-columned hall
“He is the benevolent,”
18:04–18:17 -
Homer and Apu, who runs the Kwik-E-Mart, stand on a red carpet before a long-haired, white-bearded man…
“You may ask me three questions.”
18:17–18:27 -
Homer Simpson sits at a teal desk beside a wooden organizer stuffed with folders, his mouth open and eyes…
“Yes.”
18:27–18:38 -
Apu and Homer, the bald heavy man in a white shirt and blue trousers, hike along a rocky mountain path…
“Well, that was a big bust.”
18:38–18:49 -
Apu holds Homer in a headlock on a rocky, grey-brown hillside under a blue sky with white clouds
“Okay, Appu!”
18:49–18:57 -
Apu stands with Homer in the orange-framed doorway of a pink room, Homer holding a black briefcase and Apu…
“Dad, Dad, what'd you bring us? What'd you bring?”
18:57–19:09 -
Apu and Homer stand together in front of a pink wall with a blue arched window showing white clouds
“But remember, who needs a quickie mark? Do you mind?”
19:09–19:19 -
Apu and a green jacket over a black shirt, stands beside Homer, the bald, heavy man in a white shirt…
“was dead.”
19:19–19:30 -
Apu is first seen in front of the orange sunset sky, then appears at the store's glass door and later stands…
“Oh, that'll work out great. We're out of Lucky Charms.”
19:30–19:44 -
Apu appears in the Kwik-E-Mart with a worried look
“Ah, my old squishy machine.”
19:44–19:57 -
A thin, brown-haired man in a light blue short-sleeved jacket with teal trim and a white undershirt stands…
“Hey, hey, you're Abu Nahasapimapetalan, aren't you?”
19:57–20:08 -
Apu stands in the Kwik-E-Mart in close-up, his eyes wide and blinking, then closing them with a weary look…
“Oh, yes. It was horrible, I tell you.”
20:08–20:16 -
Apu walks through the store past the counter and snack displays, then stands beside a purple appliance…
“In a few minutes, I tried to drink nectar out of Sanjay's head.”
20:16–20:27 -
A scowling man with swept-up orange hair and a green vest points a handgun across a convenience store counter…
“All right, you.”
20:27–20:39 -
A stocky man with swept-back orange hair, a moustache, and a green vest over a grey shirt aims a handgun…
“Well, Mr. Woods, your new song is going to be number three with a bullet.”
20:39–20:49 -
Apu shouts in alarm behind the store counter while a stocky, orange-haired man in a teal puffy vest points…
20:49–20:54 -
A brown-skinned man with black hair, wearing a dark shirt with a red star-shaped bloodstain, lies on a gurney…
“Apu.”
20:54–21:01 -
Apu lies in a bed with a red stain on his chest while a brown-haired man in a pale blue shirt leans over him…
“I mean, I think I'm dying.”
21:01–21:08 -
Homer Simpson, a man in a brown suit and tie beside him, a doctor in a white coat holding a clipboard, Marge…
“Well, you are a very lucky man, Apu.”
21:08–21:17 -
In a green hospital room, Apu lies in a bed with a blue blanket and a green wristband, his black hair…
“Appu, you saved my life.”
21:17–21:28 -
Marge holds baby Maggie in a green-walled bedroom with a framed mountain painting and a pink flower vase…
“Oh, oh, Mr. Woods, you're... But as for me,”
21:28–21:40 -
Homer stands against a light green wall beside a wall vent and a cylindrical object at the right edge
“Hey, let's all hug Appu.”
21:40–21:43 -
Homer, Marge with a blue beehive, Bart, Lisa, and baby Maggie in a blue bow gather in a hospital room…
“Hey, there's still time.”
21:43–21:56 -
No Simpsons characters appear in this moment; it is a black title card sequence in the show's credits
21:56–22:06 -
No Simpsons characters appear in this sequence, which is a black title card sequence with no people or scenery
22:06–22:16 -
No regular or one-off characters appear in this sequence; it is a black title card with no people on screen
“Thank you.”
22:16–22:26 -
A black closing credits sequence with yellow text on a black background
22:26–22:36 -
A black end-credits roll of yellow text over a plain black background
22:36–22:46 -
Silhouetted audience members, one with a tall puffy hairdo at the left front, sit in rows of seats in a dark…
“Shh.”
22:46–22:57
Who's in it
Bart Simpson, Homer Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson, Maggie Simpson, Milhouse Van Houten, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Chief Wiggum, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Dr. Hibbert, Kent Brockman, Martin Prince, Patty Bouvier, Reverend Lovejoy, Selma Bouvier, Jimbo Jones, Squeaky-Voiced Teen, Just Stamp the Ticket Man, Jacques, J. Loren Pryor, James Woods, Angry Customer, Angry Mom, Comedian, Hobo 1, Hobo 2, Kwik-E-Mart Inspector, Kwik-E-Mart President, Kwik-E-Mart Recruitment Agent, Robber
Everyone who appears in it, from the Simpsons wiki. Every character